animedeprived: Well, here we go again! Time for Majora's Mask. For those of you reading for the first time, Welcome! For those who read Ocarina of Time, Welcome Back! If this is your first time, this is the second part of a Legend of Zelda series featuring a very sugahigh Link. You don't need to go back to Ocarina of Time to understand this one, but some of the jokes are running gags. Now, keeping in tradition, here is our disclaimer reader, Link!
Link: As I'm sure you can all tell by my manly visage and deep voice, I am still the adult Link from Ocarina of Time. animedeprived refused to trade me in for the shorter, slightly chubbier model that comes with this game, and has kept me locked up in her room while the Nintendo people try to retrieve me using psychic monkey power. Really don't want to go back to getting stabbed and forced to work all the time. Here, I do this once a week and spend the rest of my time sipping Kool-Aid. The worst thing that happens is animedeprived's random sneak attack tackles, and they don't hurt if there's no kryptonite behind me (I still swear I broke a rib on that stuff).
What am I supposed to be doing again?
animedeprived does not own Nintendo, the Legend of Zelda series, Kool-Aid, or kryptonite.
The Legend of Zelda: Sugarhigh Majora's Mask
A New World
Day 1 - Hyrulian Border
Decided to set out on epic quest for new and exotic forms of candy. Hyrule getting boring, and almost all candy gone. So, learned how to ride tiny Epona, stocked up on chocolate chip fairies, and took off. Luckily, naggy Fairy had family problems, so am going by myself!! Hooray lack of adult supervision!!
Day 1 - Random Forest
Ambushed by Thief Freak while walking through uncharted forest. Stupid Epona and her aversion to floaty shiny lights that make dingly noises.
Zelda really let this country go to ruins after I saved it seven years from now.
Woke up to find Thief Freak slobbering all over my Ocarina. Right after I stole it back from Zelda, too! Only thing worse than his slobber is his playing. Sounds like someone playing cheese grater on chalkboard.
Cheese break interrupted when Thief Freak stole my horse! Grabbed saddle and was dragged through forest of sharp, sharp thorns before I ran into a stump. With my head. Wouldn't care so much about losing horse if I didn't need faster transportation. I am not a speed walker! Blame it on my accursed stubby legs.
Things like this didn't use to happen in the future when I was two feet taller.
Forced to cut down bushes for bus fare to nearest city. Now only have to invent and build bus and bus stop.
Used awesome ninja skills to jump across tree stumps. Ran through door and found self teetering on edge of endless abyss. Managed to regain my balance.
Then dropped my candy bar.
Dove after it.
Rejoiced to see that candy bar landed safely on flower.
Then flower ate it.
Found Thief Freak floating in midair. Said something about horse, but didn't hear, as was checking for wires with my sword.
Noticed Thief Freak has two Fairies. So that's why he laughs so crazily. Tried to give him pamphlet for NFA (Naggy Fairies Anonymous), but then he rattled his head at me.
Had weird dream where Dekus were eating me.
Woke up Deku. Eh. Had worse.
Tried to eat candy bar. Tasted like wood.
Think Thief Freak was dissing my hat. That's it. IT IS ON!! Ran after him, but shriller Fairy poked me in face. At least, I think it's my face. Didn't hurt, but fell down because it made really loud hollow sound in my head. Louder than usual, anyway.
Thief Freak slammed door shut. Great. Now stuck here for all eternity with Fairy who is shriller and dings more annoyingly than last Fairy.
Ha! Fairy slammed head against door and made funny noise. Hey, her head's hollow, too.
Just met this Fairy and already getting nagged to point of homicidal urges. Won't be long now until I file restraining order and child abuse charges.
Discovered only attack I can use is twirling like pansy ballerina. So glad Thief Freak changed my face.
Dove into flower to try and recover candy bar. Sadly, was already digested.
Retaliated by setting flower on fire. Caught hand on fire in process. Thought I was going to die.
Note to self: When made of wood, avoid fire at all costs.
Hey, all I have to do is open door? No switch? No monster? No fire? Quest looking easier than robbing old people of their s'mores. Really doing them a favor. They have no teeth and gooey marshmallow makes them constipated, anyway.
Fairy now pleading for my help. Somehow managed to get stuck with bipolar Fairy. Faaaaaaaantastic. At least it doesn't have anger issues like last one.
Gas that shoots me out of flowers smells like putrid Fairy fart.
Found Deku Nuts. As newly transformed Deku, suddenly have found horrifying new meaning for term "Deku Nuts." Besides, thought I made it clear to game designers last time. I! HATE! NUTS!
Legs even stubbier than before. Also squeak when I walk.
CURSE YOU, GANONDORF!!
This is third wave of trippy pictures I've seen today. Think game designers were on acid when making scenes. That, or Fairy slipped me something.
Great. Trapped in new world in fragile little non-flame-resistant body with ultra shrill Fairy and only Deku Nuts and sissy pirouette to protect myself with.
I'm gonna die.