Title: Bright End of Nowhere (Part 1?
Author: Carla (serenity-girl)
Rating:M (for later chapters)
Category: Firefly- Kaylee/Mal, post BDM
Spoliers: everything in series and movie probably.
Summary: Kaylee and Mal seek comfort from the dark.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and co. own this 'verse, I just play in it.
A/N: First Firefly fic, so please correct, encourage, whatever. I'm finding this fandom hard to write so any feedback is greatly needed!
Everything felt so dark. She'd felt the darkness creep in every so often out here in the black but never like this. It had consumed everything and everyone, she even thought Serenity herself had changed.
They'd risked so much because of Miranda. Kaylee knew it had been the right thing to do but it still didn't fix the sadness that had overtaken the ship. Nobody seemed to smile anymore, everything was all business. Even she found it hard to find something to smile at.
Even though Zoe put up a composed exterior, Kaylee often caught her staring off, tears at her eyes. Jayne rarely made jokes or rude comments anymore. Which basically only left complaining and glaring to his presence. She knew he missed Book, who had become his, as close as one could be, friend. Inara had stayed on for a few weeks but then left quickly, not giving a solid reason, although Kaylee could only assume it had to do with the Captain. River seemed to be fairing the best out of all of them, she had thrown herself so enthusiastically into learning to fly that Simon had to constantly remind her to sleep and eat.
Simon himself hadn't changed much and maybe that was the problem. Or maybe Kaylee had changed. Whatever it was, despite how hard she tried, she couldn't make it work with him. He didn't fill the darkness that entered her and that made her feel even lonelier.
Even the Captain had changed. Kaylee knew she was the only one that saw the fear in his eyes, she knew he felt responsible for Wash and Book's deaths and that he worried about who would be next.
It was for him that she shed her tears tonight, for his pain, for his guilt. She cried thinking of Wash, who had been her friend, for Book who had been her co-conspirator in trying to spread optimism through the ship. She sobbed over the loss of family, for the intense cold that spread through the ship.
She was crying so hard that she hadn't even heard him come into her bunk. When he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap, she simply curled into him, trusting in his warmth.
"It ain't right," she finally sobbed out.
Mal ran over her hair, placing a soft kiss to her forehead. "It ain't ever right or fair." Ever since he'd met little Kaylee he'd wanted to protect her from that unfair world, the one he lived in. Now it seemed not to matter, he couldn't protect her, he couldn't protect anyone.
Kaylee raised her tear-stained face from his chest and placed her hand on his cheek. "They wasn't your fault. You did what you had to do." When his eyes dropped to the left, his guilt was written all over his face. "Hey," she brought her other hand to his cheek, so he'd look at her. "Not a body here's blaming you," she said firmly and gave him her most encouraging smile.
Mal smiled at her and kissed her lightly on the lips, "I miss seeing you smile, little Kaylee. And I don't like this crying business much, bâo bèi." He wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks, leaving his hands there.
Kaylee smiled at him again and this time she felt it from her stomach, "I miss your smile, Cap'n." She kissed him on friendly on each side of his lips. Then she felt darkness again, "I miss seeing everyone smile…"
Mal pulled her closer, as he saw the tears well up in her eyes. "I know," he touched his lips to her forehead, hoping to stop her tears. But his own grief and guilt came back to the surface, his darkness mixing with hers. He kissed both her cheeks trying to ebb the sorrow away, then her eyelids, her hands. Finally he was kissing her lips and she was kissing him back. He knew he needed to stop, somewhere in his brain, that was repeating over and over. He couldn't, all the pain, all the darkness, was starting to float away. All he could feel was Kaylee.
She knew this was wrong but she couldn't help but feel that it was right. As soon as his lips had touched her, she felt an overwhelming sense of comfort, of warmth. But soon that comfort and warmth had turned into something even more all-consuming. She needed him, needed his body and as their kiss turned more passionate, she could tell he felt the same need.
His lips drifted to her neck, as she unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off. He made quick work of her shirt and bra, his lips barely leaving her body. They moved quickly through everything else, before the fog lifted from either of them. The only time their eyes met was just before he entered her, as if a check to see if they should stop. The haze and the comfort, made outside reality matter less. Even if the relief was for only seconds, it was something they both craved. A release from the darkness.
His lips crashed to hers when she came and she could have sworn she felt moisture on his cheeks but whether it was sweat or tears, she couldn't tell. He followed her soon after, softly saying her name.
When Kaylee woke up the next morning, Mal was gone but her darkness had lifted a little. She hoped it was a sign that things were going back to normal.
As much as they could anyway.
A/N: So there probably will be more chapters, I have an idea, it just needs a little more development. Please Review!