A/N: I wrote this for my friend Liz because she said I was too Naruto obsessed :sweatdrop: So, this is for her, 'cause we both love Hiruma, and where I think that Hiruma having kids is scary, she thinks it's funny.

Disclaimer: Eyeshield 21 and its respective characters belong to Inagaki Riichirou and Murata Yuusuke.

Hiruma Yoichi.

Also referred to as 'The Devil'.

He is scary.

He is conniving.

He is basically like the spawn of Satan himself.

He knows everything about everyone, and has the dreaded 'Blackmail Book' to prove it.

One would think that if he had children, the whole world would end due to the fact that it would be dominated by a family of vicious, evil, horrible people who would wield guns madly and blackmail people into doing everything they said.

This, however, is not the case. Oh no, Hiruma's children did not become the spawn of Satan's spawn. No, they are ordinary children—but their father is a different story.

Let us take an example...

Hiruma Kei ran into her house, rushing towards the kitchen where she knew her father would be. Sure enough, she found him sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in one hand, and the newspaper in the other.

"Daddy!" the fifteen-year-old girl gushed as she ran towards him. She grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at her instead of the newspaper since her grip on him was making it shake in his hand. "Daddy, can we talk?"

"You only call me 'daddy' when you want something." the ex-Captain of the Devil Bats said, narrowing his eyes. "Out with it."

"Okay." Kei let him go, plopping down in the chair beside him. Hiruma's eyes returned to the newspaper, but she knew he was listening. She'd learned long ago he had a talent for multi-tasking. "Okay, before you say anything, hear me out."


"There's this boy nam—"


"I didn't finish yet." Kei pouted.

"You're not going on a date." Hiruma insisted as he took a sip of his coffee before scowling at something in the paper.

"But daddy—"


"What if you met him first?" Hiruma's ears perked up and he folded the newspaper, putting his coffee on top of it. He then turned to his daughter, resting his elbows on his knees as he grinned.

"Go on."

"Okay, well, his name is Takanawa Mimura, and he's a year older than me—"

"No, no. About me meeting him." Hiruma insisted.

"Oh, well, he asked me out to see a movie tonight and I kind of already told him I could go. He's picking me up at five, so when he comes, I'll let you meet him before I go off with him. Is that okay?"

"That's perfect." Hiruma grinned, an evil glint in his eye.

The young girl squealed before launching herself at her father, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Thank you, Daddy! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

The poor girl never knew she wouldn't be going on her date.

Takanawa Mimura walked up to the front door of the Hiruma residence. He smoothed back his hair before knocking twice on the door. He waited patiently for someone to open it, and once it did, he put on his best smile. It faded at the sight that greeted him on the other side.

Hiruma stood leaning against the doorframe, a machine gun resting against his left shoulder and dirt covering his shirt, pants and face. He stared at Mimura with a blank expression, the sixteen-year-old feeling very intimidated.

"Uh, h-hello, sir. I'm, uh—I'm here to pick up your d-daughter."

"Oh, so you're the sorry guy." Hiruma's eyes travelled up and down the boy, sizing him up. "You won't be as much trouble as the others."

"O-others, sir?" Mimura asked, fear rising in his chest.

"Yeah, I just finished burying the last guy who hurt my little girl." Hiruma's face twisted into a manic grin. "I thought I'd get at least a day off before the next one."

Mimura swallowed hard, his panic and fear clearly visible on his face. Suddenly, he didn't feel up for a movie. Or—not with Kei, anyway.

"You're not planning on hurting her, are you?"

"Wh-what?" Mimura whispered.

"My daughter. Just what were you planning on doing with her tonight?" Mimura's eyes shifted to the gun as Hiruma changed his grip, the butt of the gun resting on the floor and the barrel leaning against his thigh.

"I-I was thinking of a-a movie. And then—"

"And then?"

Mimura shrunk back as the ex-Captain said these two words. It seemed as if Hiruma had grown in size ten-fold and fire appeared behind him, blazing wildly and dangerously. The young boy whimpered in fear.

"I'll tell you what." Hiruma smirked, picking up the gun and aiming it at Mimura. The high-schooler panicked even more, his eyes wide. "You leave and forget about my daughter, and I won't have you join the last bozo who asked her out. Agreed?"

"Y-yes, s-sir!" Mimura exclaimed, sweating as he stared at the gun.

"Good." Hiruma returned the gun to resting over his shoulder. "Beat it."

Mimura didn't need to be told twice. He turned and was out of there so far he left tread marks.

Hiruma closed the door, putting the gun back in the hall closet. He brushed off his pants and shirt to get rid of the dirt, having been working in the backyard before the idiot who'd thought of asking his daughter out had showed up. He was going to head back outside to finish his job.

As he turned to head towards the kitchen so he could go into the backyard, Kei appeared on the stairs, coming down them slowly, frowning as she saw her father.

"Where's Mimura?" she inquired. "I thought I heard him."

"He cancelled."

"Cancelled?" Kei asked, disappointment clear in her tone.

"Yeah, he came over to tell you. I said I'd pass the message on. Seemed important."

"Oh." Kei sighed. "Well, I guess I can wait until next time."

The young girl turned and walked back up the stairs. Hiruma cackled silently by the door, knowing no man was going to hurt his baby girl. Ever.

very protective of his daughter. Violently protective.

But his protectiveness doesn't end at his daughter, oh no! He also has a son

Of course, his son is actually able to date, because his father isn't worried about some girl breaking his son's heart. He was a handsome man, and the girls lined up around the corner for a chance to even glance at him.

No, the girls didn't concern him. It was the boys.

To be precise, the 'bullies', as they were more commonly called.

Because of his good looks and his achievements in school, the seventeen-year-old was still being pushed around. So, Hiruma had done the only thing he'd deemed reasonable in this type of situation...

"Are you crazy!" Hiruma Shinji demanded as he backed away from his father.

"Of course, now come here!" Hiruma motioned his son over, glaring to emphasize the fact that he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"B-but Dad—"

"No buts!" Hiruma shot right in front of his son's foot, the younger Hiruma letting out a cry as he jumped backwards. "I haven't got all day." Hiruma paused. "Well, technically, I do, but I don't want to be doing this all day."

"Dad, I'll get arrested!"

"I never did." Hiruma insisted. "I won't tell you again."

Sighing, Shinji trudged towards his father and took the gun being held out to him. Having seen his father use them since he was a baby, the boy handled the weapon expertly, taking it apart to check and make sure it was clean and functional before putting it all back together and snapping off the safety.

"You've got talent, Shinji." Hiruma cackled evilly.

"I still think this is a bad idea, dad." Shinji sighed, even though he knew it was no use.

"Shut up." Hiruma insisted. "Aim at that tree and fire."

"But dad, what if I miss?"


"I could hurt someone." Shinji insisted.

"There's no one around but me, and I'm standing behind you." Hiruma insisted, waving his hand about carelessly.

"But what if I shoot out the neighbour's windows?"

"That's their problem for having their house so close to ours." Hiruma insisted as he leaned back against one of the trees in their backyard, crossing his arms. "Shoot."

Sighing, Shinji aimed and fired, hitting the tree almost dead centre. He couldn't help but let a small smile form on his lips at his achievement. He didn't think his aim came from watching his father shoot all the time. Actually, Hiruma tended to shoot in the air and right in front or behind people. He never actually aimed, really.

"Good." Hiruma smirked. "Next time someone pushes you around, shoot them."

"Dad!" Shinji turned to his father, Hiruma heading for the back door.

"Shoot them!" the blond insisted before entering the house and closing the door behind himself.

clearly see, Hiruma's children are not like Hiruma himself. Kei is sweet and innocent, and Shinji is kind and smart. Neither possess their father's conniving mind, nor his lust for violence. They were actually pretty normal kids.

But Hiruma is not discouraged with his son and daughter's lack of respect for guns and violence. Some people would think this was strange, but the real reason is because he isn't done with his corruption just yet.

He has one more chance...

Hiruma walked into the room at the end of the hall, the one right beside his own. Inside the room sat a large crib and the ex-Captain walked up to it, looking in at his six-month old son, Kaiza. He smiled down at the boy, lightly running his fingers over the small head.

"Hey there, son." Hiruma said in the gentlest voice he possessed. "You're getting big, huh?"

The baby just cooed as he put two of his fingers in his mouth, staring up curiously at his father. Hiruma just laughed at the action.

"Now that you've grown up, I've decided it's time to start teaching you about the necessities of life." The blond reached behind him and pulled out a small handgun, putting it into the baby's two hands and helping him hold it. "Now this, Kaiza, is the most important thing daddy will ever teach you."

He cackled maniacally.