Okay, I know it was so mean of me to end it so suddenly. I thought I'd give you all the explanation you've been asking for. I thought I'd tease you first, saying the story was finished, and end it where I did. Remember Haruka writing the letter before she pulled the trigger...Well...Here's the letter :)
And to the person who called me crazy...Thank you, thank you very much. :) I think I am crazy. But it's a good crazy though. And I'm not really that depressed in real life, I just let out ALL of my emotions in my stories
I suppose it's weird. Being at my own funeral. I stood right there. Where everybody could see me…If I was alive. It's weird being dead. To be able to watch people, and know they can't see you or hear you. I roamed around some, with this new form of freedom. I've already done some traveling. Been to Tokyo. Never want to go there again. Not only is it polluted, and over populated…but the spirits there are very rude. I still consider Kyoto to be my home. I think it always will be. I'll stay here, to watch over Michiru, until the day she joins me on this side.
It's too late to take away my mistake. There's no reason to be depressed on this side. Though I do feel alone. I spend most of my time with Michiru. I talk to her all the time. But she never talks back, except maybe once in a while. When she tells me she misses me. I realized what I've done was a mistake. She's not with him. He forced himself onto her. I should have let her explain.
I sat on the ground, next to my own headstone, my eyes watching Naomi, Alyson and Michiru, they all sat up front. Along with some other family members and some friends that sat behind them. There were also a lot of people there from my school. I think I even saw Jared then, hiding in the back.
Alyson was reading something. It looked as though it was my letter. I'm sure they've read it by now though. She dabbed at some tears on her eyes before she handed it to Michiru. She looked up at my parents for a moment before slowly unfolding the pages. I remember every word I wrote in there. I got up and moved closer to her, to read it over her shoulder.
My Dear Family,
I should start out by telling you all how much I love each and every one of you. I felt like it was my time to go. I know you're probably in tears. Or too shocked to speak a word. But don't be. It was my time. I'm peaceful now. No more stress, or anything. I had too much on my shoulders. There was too much pressure for everything. Everything had to be right. I felt as though I had to please everybody. There was never any time to please myself. I wasn't happy. I didn't know how to make myself happy.
So I started relying on others. I felt like I could trust others with my problems. I got close to telling Michiru so many times. But I could never find the words. I can find them now. I know it's tell late to tell anybody anything. You'll just have to find out this way. I hope this answers questions you may have had.
Naomi, Alyson…You two have been wonderful. Don't think you've done anything wrong, because you haven't. Trust me. You've done nothing but love me like parents should. You've given me the love I didn't have for most of my life. You never once raised your voices to me, or lifted a finger to harm me. You helped me. Always did. You helped me discover myself as a lesbian, then helped me realize it was okay to be gay. Alyson, you took me out, in your brand new BMW, teaching me how to drive. I'll never forget how often you screamed at me, afraid I'd wreck your new car. Or the look you had on your face when I backed into the mailbox. I'm sorry about that, I told you I'd pay you back, but I never did. Naomi, you were always there to help me with my math homework. I hate that subject. And you being the accountant, it came easy to you. I never did repay you either. I didn't know how to thank you, either of you. I'm sorry.
Michiru, I consider you to be a part of my family too. I want you to read this, all of it. Take my words to heart and realize what you've done to me. If it wasn't for you and Jared in the hall. This wouldn't have happened. Why? Why did you tell me you loved me and then do this to me? You knew what kind of state I was still in. People always say and do things they don't mean. Well, when I told you I loved you. I meant it. Those words are so meaningful to me. I know I don't say them unless I mean them. I will always love you. I'll be waiting for you on the other side. I promise I'll be with you until then. Maybe in your dreams, or your thoughts. Just don't forget about me.
I'm sorry about putting all of you through this. I can't stay in this place and let myself be hurt anymore. I can't stay in this place and hurt others anymore. Because when I hurt others, I hurt myself. I was always aching, emotionally. I love you all.
Forever in your heart,
-Haruka Tenou (1988-2006)
I saw tears silently slide down Michiru's cheeks, she tilted her head back, to try and hide them. I smiled down at her. It must have been like she saw me, her eyes went wide for a moment. "Ruka!" She stood and turned around quickly, as if looking for me. I'm sorry you cannot see me. But I see you, I can always see you. I won't let anything happen to you Michi. I promise. I love you.
OK I know the years don't match up, but I made Ruka 18, so that the years would match up :P Hope you enjoyed it, I know I did.