I hate him. I really truly hate him. Can you ever say that you have hated someone so much, that you would rather slit your throat then ever see him or her again? I know hate is a sin, a dreadful hateful sin that sometimes feels as good as lust. A feeling of pure acid bubbling up your stomach at the thought of the person and ripping their head off seems like a logical explanation to all your problems. That horrid devil place that feels as divine as heaven.
That is what I feel for him. I have been happily married to one of his friends for three weeks. We have just come back from our honeymoon. Then he calls me to his apartment under false pretences and tries to kiss me. I mean I have just changed my name to Mrs. Lily Holdem. Me and James broke up at the end of seventh year cause it wasn't working out he can't still have feelings for me. Can he?
I went over to his apartment because, as we are auror partners, I had to catch up with the work. The moment I saw the look on his face I knew I was in trouble.
(In the apartment)
"Hey Lily "he stuttered as the door opened. I noticed that he was shaking slightly with an extremely nervous look on his face. When I walked in the place was spotless and no auror work in sight. I turned to face him to find him stood very very close to me. Despite my best efforts, my breathing hitched and my heart started to race so fast that I was sure he could hear it. Without saying anything he grabbed me and his soft, so soft, commanding lips came down over mine. I melted. He was everything that my new husband was not. Jack (My husband) made me make all the advances the only thing I never liked doing was taking the lead. However, that was exactly what James was doing now taking the lead, it felt so good. Not even my two weeks honeymoon had felt this good.
Was I wrong for not pushing him off? I do not know but I knew one thing I did not feel an ounce of guilt. I knew Jack was screwing around and we had only really married out of convenience. We were 18 for Pete's sake. James slowly parted my mouth and slipped his capable tongue inside. It was only then when I realised I was losing my mind and that his hands were slowly riding up my shirt that I pushed him off.
"What the hell do you think your doing?"
James looked at me pure love and slight mixes of lust were in his eyes. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. He moved in front of the door so I could not leave.
"You don't love him," he said confidently passion starting to seep into his voice. "You never have. Or you would have pushed me off sooner and left." he was searching my eyes and face for any kind of hint or sign but we both knew he was right, he was always right when it came to me. I was physically shaking with indecision. Jack was safe James was everything I had ever wanted and that scared the hell out of me. He was the only person who could control me when I was at my most crazy. The only person who could make me feel safe at my most vulnerable and the only person who could drive me to the edge of insanity and then take me to heaven in a single touch. I was in love with him and he knew it.
Smirking he walked towards me and grabbed my waist gently. His laugh reverberated through my chest and down my spine into the floor below my feet.
"I love you" he muttered against my ear and I knew he meant it. He put the edge of his mouth over my earlobe placing a kiss there. I shuddered and left his grasp just as I was opening the door he slammed it shut with his wand.
"Lily" Facing him I could tell he knew he had me.
"What?" my voice cracked and I did not trust myself to say anymore. He approached me again and this time Instead of telling me he loved me, he showed me the same way that afterwards I showed him.
(Back to now)
Looking back over the last two hours from when all this happened. He came into the room. I am lied in the sheets of his bed with him watching me I do not hate the man in front of me anymore. In fact, I am more in love with him than ever.
"Bring your stuff over tonight. They marriage isn't final for another week so you'll be Evans again by the morning." It was a command and one that I was only to happy to oblige. As he leant down to kiss me I whispered against his lips a quick promise that I would happily do so.
There really is a very thin line between love and hate and I'd just crossed it.