Title : Operation Separation
Author : Kiwii / KiwiiFruitie
Rating : M for mature just to be on the safe side.
Warning : Contains Shounen-ai, Twincest and crack.
Word count : around 8,600
Pairings : Hikaru/Kaoru, Kyouya/Tamaki, Tamaki/Kaoru (Kinda XD).
Disclaimer : If the twins were mine...They'd express their brotherly love in rather NC-17 ways. X)
Love and kisses for my beta

So far it had been a pretty ordinary day for Kaoru and currently he was lodged in the firm embrace of his brother with their latest script being put into action."Kaoru, you know that I would never ever watch anyone other than you like that..." Hikaru whispered against Kaoru's ear just loud enough for the fan girls to hear him.

Managing a few tears and a faint blush Kaoru held onto his brother like a drowning man. We should get a Oscar for this. "Oh Hikaru..." He sighed and mentally counted to five for the gleeful squeals to begin. 1... 2... 3... 4...

"Forbidden Brotherly love!" "Oh, it's so beautiful!" "Their love is so real!" "Oh...I think I feel like fainting!" Good thing that there wasn't anyone close to said girls, or they would have been hit by a wave of floating hearts.

Kaoru didn't pay much mind to the girls' happy screams, and instead enjoyed the closeness of his brother. Really, he didn't mind this at all, getting to hold his brother like this and being held. It was comforting, to say the least: the warm palms against his back, Hikaru's breath on his neck, his twins' heart thumping in sync with his, aaaand this thought is stopping here right now. Reluctantly Kaoru pulled away from his brother and gave him a quick meaningful look. Both of the twins pulled their 'guessing game' hats from seemingly out of nowhere and plastered identical grins on their faces.

"So who wants to play the 'Which one is Hikaru-kun?' game?" They said in unison. And their daily routine continued.


"Hikaru! Kaoru!"

...Ok, so maybe today wasn't exactly a perfectly ordinary day. Earlier today they had made a little adjustment with their King's shampoo. The King took so much pride in his good looks that really, who could resist a little prank? Especially if you were a devilish little twin.

Escorted by sparkles and tears, the King came to the twins' presence. Absently, the twins noted that their King didn't look too bad. Really, really sparkly. Very, very teary. Hair a pretty, pretty shade of green.

"How could you do this to my lovely hair? I took great pride in my beautiful golden locks! What will my princesses think when they see me like this?"

"I dunno, I think the green works well with your purple eyes." Hikaru had his hands full with trying to talk with a straight face.

"Yes I think the color brings them out quite well," Kaoru said as politely as he could and coughed into his hand to hide a grin.

"How can you say that! My head looks like a mop made of seaweed! Mommy! Come see what the children did to their respectable daddy!" Tamaki wailed out before taking refuge in the nearest corner to sulk while rose petals rained down on him.

"You do realize that this will cost the club. Unlike you two, Tamaki's image will suffer from shock colors. He's supposed to be Prince Charming..." Kyouya's glasses glinted dangerously as he appeared from behind the twins, scribbling on his notepad.

The twins shuddered just slightly, they didn't want to think what they'd have to do if Kyouya decided that they needed to pay back for their little trick. Once had Kyouya sold tickets for girls so that they could raid their favorite hosts rooms (Kyouya regretfully had informed the girls that wanted to see his room that it was getting a new paint job, thus no one was allowed inside until the walls were dry and the room was aired out).

"Come on, it's not that bad...really. He's got the color working for him."

"Yeah, and if me and Hikaru dye our hair again, and a few of the others... we could have a rainbow!"

Kyouya didn't seem to find it very funny. Tamaki looked horrified. Somewhere, the three other members of the Host club sneezed.

With a dramatic pose, a rose from rose space™ and sparkle (Can't have too much of that) Tamaki pointed a finger at the twins. "I dare you to not see, speak or in any way interact with each other for one week!"

"Tamaki...are you sure that's a good idea? They won't be able to take clients together, and their appeal will suffer since they sell the 'Brotherly love', which, as you probably realize, doesn't work with just one twin." With a thoughtful expression and a few scribbles on his memo Kyoya raised a brow at Tamaki.

"I think it will do us all some good to have them separated for a while. Oh my poor hair...will you ever be the same again?" A pitiful sob. "And as for the twins, can't you work up some story about the two of them being separated lovers? Drama! Tears! Brotherly love threatened!" Tamaki waved his hand flamboyantly.

"Hmmm...Not a bad idea, my King...that just might work."

"Hey! Don't we get a say in this!" The twins said indignantly while reaching out to take the other's hand into a tight grip.

The smiles on Kyouya's and Tamaki's faces were positively devilish. "Oh Kyouya...how long ago was the last time you sold tickets for a 'Treasure hunt'?" Kyouya looked at his memo and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Long enough for the girls to want another go..."

Another shudder ran through the twins and they squeezed each others hands. Not wanting to give the duo that was against them more satisfaction they both grinned and leaned against each other.

"All right, then. If you insist. We're up for a dare."

"A week? Pffft. That'll be child's play!"

A glint of glasses. "You want a longer time?"

"NO!" The two redheads cried out in unison.

"Then it's settled! Starting from tomorrow, you two won't see each other for a week! Be brave, my children, and learn to respect my looks!"

"And Tamaki, don't worry about your hair, we'll take care of your little weedy problem later tonight."

"Oh Kyouya! I can always trust you. ♥"

Night Falls

"Hikaru...have we ever been apart for such a long time?"

Now that the two of them were alone in their room, Kaoru was starting to have doubts about the next seven days. Unconsciously he squirmed closer to Hikaru and tightened his grip on his brother's waist. Hikaru answered by tightening his hold on Kaoru and rubbed soothing circles on his back.

"I don't think we have... But...does the idea of having fan girls going through our room again seem appealing?"

Kaoru had closed his eyes and leaned into his brother, breathing in the other. One last breath before a week of... "No it doesn't sound appealing... we lost several pairs of boxers and other things...and lets not forget those fluffy handcuffs we were saving for a special occasion. We could have made the most scandalous script ever!"

Somewhere a girl sighed dreamily as she lovingly touched the handcuffs while imagining the twins doing naughty -naughty- things together with said cuffs.

"But...I think I'll miss you."

Hikaru reassuringly nuzzled against his brothers cheek and sighed tiredly. "You know I'll miss you as well Kaoru...but we can't go back on our word... imagine what Kyoya might do."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah...you're right. Let's get some sleep and think about things in the morning before they come to separate us."

Lights were turned off and the twins fell asleep tangled up in each other.

Morning Comes

Beep Beep Beep beep

Slap. Crash. Sigh.

Kaoru groaned as he slowly blinked his eyes at the sunbathed room. It had taken him and Hikaru a while to actually get to sleep and Kaoru wasn't feeling very refreshed. "C'mon you sleepyhead. It's time to get up." Kaoru muttered as he threw his arm over to Hikaru's side of the bed...only to have it bounce off the empty mattress. That efficiently cleared all that was left of Kaoru's sleepiness.

"Hikaru! Where'd you go?"

Kaoru was just about to panic, only a little, when a polite knock could be heard from the direction of the door. Before Kaoru had the chance to answer the door opened with a click and Mori stepped inside.

"Good morning. We'll be leaving for school soon."

Kaoru couldn't do anything but gape at the tall teen. "Where's Hikaru!"

"Were you supposed to see him today?" Mori gave Kaoru a stare.

"Well, no...but...Where is he?"

"Suou took the liberty to 'ninja in the night' and retrieve him before today."

"...I see." Who would have know that Tamaki and Kyouya would be so serious about this? Kaoru, for one, was taken by surprise. If they were this efficient with everything, he really might end up not seeing his brother for a week. The thought didn't sit well with Kaoru; he was already starting to feel alone in -their- room. Hikaru was supposed to be here with -him-. Despite the lack of motivation to do anything without his brother there, Kaoru sluggishly got up from bed and started dressing, not really even bothering with the fact that Mori was still standing at the door and could see his state of undress very well. Wonder how Hikaru's doing? ...He probably won't be feeling too bad. Maybe he'll even be glad to get a little vacation from being a twin. Kaoru felt something tug at his heart. Well...I should probably make the most of my time. If nothing else, I need to keep up my appearance.
And with that thought he walked over to Mori and nodded.

"I'm ready. Let's go."

Day 1 : The Torture Box

It wasn't really a good thing...but Kaoru had to admit that he was impressed. Mighty impressed. There were two large boxes at the back of the classroom. And they both had small doors. Kaoru also noticed that the teacher had a small microphone on her table. Turning his gaze back to the boxes he noticed that they didn't have anything else except the small door...and a small lock!

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"I assure you Hitachiin, we're quite serious."

"You're keeping Hikaru in one of these monstrosities?" An angry blush made itself known on Kaoru's cheeks. "Put me in one and let him out! There's no reason to have him in one of those!"

Some girls cooed happily at Kaoru's obvious concern over his big brother and cheered him.

"It's the king's wish." And with that Mori grabbed Kaoru and proceeded with 'Operation Separation'.

When the class started Kaoru was feeling too peevish to be impressed by the fact that the box was soundproof and it had a small speaker so he could hear the teacher drone on about the current subject. Whoopie doo daa.

Later that day...

Today...had been horrible. Class had been so much more boring then usual. Kaoru thought he'd go crazy inside that box, sure he wasn't a trouble maker(maybe just little) in class...but being forced to have nothing but plain walls staring back at you was just boring, mind numbingly so. The only thing that existed inside the box was the teacher's voice. That, and that only. Lesser men could have been driven insane by such torture, Kaoru was one hundred percent sure of it.

Shouldn't this be illegal? He had a sneaking suspicion that Tamaki and Kyouya were after his and Hikaru's sanity.

Too bad for them though...Kaoru managed to keep his mind together by doodling on the walls and plotting revenge for those two.

At lunch he had been forced to eat with Tamaki... and his pack of fan girls. Wasn't there a saying that said 'Don't take your work home'? Listening to Tamaki croon at the girls and whisper 'sweet nothings' to them wasn't his ideal way of spending lunch time. That really made Kaoru miss his quiet lunch times with Hikaru, and Haruhi as well...when the twins actually managed to drag the girl along.

Sure, he didn't actually have anything against the fan girls. He was a host (with ulterior motives but who's counting?), but he wasn't really in the mood for this. Girls reminded him of the host club, and that reminded him of Hikaru. It had to have been the longest lunch time ever since the accident which involved glue, a chair, a misplaced Kaoru and a very apologetic Hikaru.

After lunch hour Kaoru was temporarily transferred to study with a different class. Most likely the teachers had had something to say about the torture box. Which was sort of a relief, but soon he had other matters to be concerned with. While Kaoru had absentmindedly been walking down the corridor, he had managed to slip and was well on his way to greet the newly waxed floor. By impulse Kaoru had expected that a pair of arms would grab him and stop his fall, but just as he was about to hit the floor he remembered. Hikaru isn't here to catch you, you fool. The last though that ran through Kaoru's head before the hit the floor was, Damn that Hikaru for not being here to catch me.

Inside the newly arranged host club room Hikaru winced and rubbed the back of his head. "Ow..."

Nurses office


"He's awake! Kao-chan! Are you alright? Would you like some cake? I brought some as a get well present, but...I ended up eating half of it. And the chocolate coated strawberry. But! There's still half of it left. Do you want to have some Kao-chan? Or would you let me eat the rest? I really liked this cake..."

"Mitsukuni. I don't think he wants cake." Mori gently lifted Hunny from Kaoru's bed.

"Ugh...yes...no thanks. I don't think I'll want to eat anything now..."

Slowly Kaoru sat and reached out a hand to touch the bump on the back of his head. Wincing slightly, he turned to look at Mori and Hunny. "I fainted?"

"Yes, you did, Kao-chan! You should be more careful, the floors can be very, very slippery sometimes!" Hunny waves a scolding finger at Kaoru and poked his nose. "You were lucky the nurses said! There's nothing really wrong with you. Though Hika-chan was pretty livid that he wasn't allowed to come and see you, but rules are rules!"

"Mitsuki. Please refrain from talking about Hikaru in Kaoru's presence."

"Whoopsie! Sorry that slipped!"

As if on cue someone started banging on the door. "We had to lock the doors...just in case." Not long after that the door handle started rattling as if someone was trying to tear it off its hinges. It didn't take very long for the rattling to cease and the handle rose back to its original position with a smooth click.

"He's so persistent."

Outside things were getting pretty close to chaotic. A pack of girls could be heard screaming happily, cheering the flushed twin on as he struggled against Tamaki's and Kyouya's hold while he was being dragged off from the hospital wing.

"I want to see Kaoru!"

Day 2 : Smoken!

Who would have though that it would already feel this bad to be away from Hikaru? Some may call it weird, some may call it simply too much and someone might even suspect something deeper between the twins, but they never really cared what others thought. Thus, Kaoru didn't feel bad about sulking over the absence of Hikaru. Last night hadn't been a very soft landing to the week without the other. The nurses had insisted that he spend the night at the hospital wing. Just to be sure that everything is ok. Kaoru hadn't had it in him to argue. Thus that night he found himself in a strange room, sleeping on a strange bed and with no one to keep him company. His first night without his brother in ages. Kaoru had felt so alone.

That night there had been a breakout attempt at the Hitachiin estate. Dogs had barked. Sirens had shrieked. Spotlights followed a very shocked looking redhead that was trying to make a run for it on the yard. Even a helicopter appeared. A voice carried out from the midst of all the noise. "Hikaru, I hope you realize how much this little escape attempt of yours will cost you?" Hikaru could have sworn that he could almost hear a pen scraping across a notepad and the numbers ticking off inside Kyouya's head.

Life was boring. Kaoru couldn't help but to sigh as he made his way to his next class. For the umpteenth time that day Kaoru reached out his hand only to clasp at air. The reality of the situation was starting to sink in: his other half was missing, and thus Kaoru continued to sulk.


"I think this whole thing is ridiculous." Haruhi couldn't help but to wonder what these rich bastards would think of next. The lengths that they went through to keep the twins apart were absurd in her mind. Haruhi couldn't help but to sigh and shake her head as she gazed out of a window to the yard. Outside there was a greenhouse that was full of plants. Well at least the walls and roof were covered by them. Earlier, Tamaki had praised his own idea of making a small jungle outside. He also had very 'discreetly' asked Haruhi to be his Jane. The word 'No' shot through the air like a bullet, and Tamaki retreated to his little jungle while whimpering like a kicked puppy.

"You couldn't help me get outside and in there, Haruhi?"

Regretfully, Haruhi shook her head at the twin that was currently leaning against her shoulder. "I'm sorry, I can't..."

Oh, and Haruhi, please do not assist the twins in any way. Unless you'd like to double your debt. That is all. Have a nice day.

"...Kyoya, eh? Sometimes he's too sneaky for his own good."

"I'm greatly flattered that you think so, but that doesn't excuse you from your duties."

"Yeah, yeah, we're going, we're going."

Host Club is Open

"Oh Kaoru-kun. Are you alright? It's heartbreaking to watch you in this state."

Kaoru looked out the window and started to get teary eyed. "I don't know. I... we... haven't been apart like this ever." Gingerly he took a teacup into his violently shaking hands. The cup was on the floor in a few seconds.

"Oh, forgive me!" Kaoru kneeled next to the broken china cup and gathered a few pieces of it in his hands. "I'm just...I feel so weak without Hikaru." With that the suffering twin looked at the pieces of broken porcelain as if they were the pieces of his broken heart.

"Please don't apologize, Kaoru-kun!" "Yes! We understand your gentle soul!" "You must have Hikaru-kun with you to be complete!" "You must be reunited with him as soon as possible!"

"...Alas...that is not possible, for we made a deal with the devils. (Tamaki and Kyouya sneezed violently at the same time.) And we need to be apart for a total of seven days." I really deserve a Oscar for this. Sometimes Kaoru just wanted to laugh so hard at how well the girls ate up his acting. But Kaoru managed to pull off a straight face, along with a few sobs and shaking shoulders.

"How can you two live apart for such a long time? What will happen to the brotherly love?" The girls gasped in unison.

Truth be told, Kaoru wasn't sure how to answer them.

I miss him.

By some freak accident, the ongoing events outside went unnoticed by the occupants of the indoors Host club.

Now, if they had looked out the window they would have seen a flaming inferno where the proud mini jungle had once been. If one of the witnesses had been asked about the reason of the spontaneous fire, they most likely would have been at a loss, because the reason for the start of the fire was just about as clear as the smoke in the air. Though if one looked hard enough somewhere in the midst of all the smoke, a dark figure could be seen running. If you squinted and looked harder you would notice red hair under the coat of ashes. Hikaru was making what seemed like the perfect escape, up until he got tackled to the ground by a certain Senior escorted by Mommy dearest.

"If you keep this up...you're going to end up owing me -I mean the host club- more money then our dear Haruhi."

Hikaru coughed under Mori's weight and sighed, defeated. Game over...for now.

The rest of the day was spent fairly normally. Kaoru wondered about the mystery fire, though. No one seemed to be willing to talk to him about it. Hope Hikaru wasn't hurt, or anything like that.

Day 3 : Family Togetherness

Kaoru tried his best to hold down a small twitch. He valiantly tried and failed. Somewhere in the rational part of his mind the inner Kaoru pointed out to him that the twitch was somewhat psychotic looking. Kaoru didn't care. He had been there. He had spent the night... Nothing would be the same anymore. Twitch. A few girls glance at his direction curiously and whisper something about him and Hikaru. Kaoru doesn't care. He has been -there-.

He had spent his night at Tamaki's home.

"My sweet twin, separated from your one true love by your own childish actions! You may sleep over at my place tonight! I'm sure you'll have fun. I can even teach you a thing or two about the ladies and...other things."

If only had he known then. If only. He would have ran screaming away from the spot, fought his way to Hikaru, kidnapped him and run away with him, never to return. That would have saved his innocence, or what little had been left of it. But...alas, he didn't realize the direness of the situation. What a fool he had been.

Last night had started off with a formal meal. Why is Kyoya here? He had thought at the time. But all questions, well at least that, were answered later. But not late enough.

After the meal Tamaki had graciously offered read: Kaoru was threatened with lethal doses of sparkle – to play 'dress up'. Of course, Kaoru hadn't bothered to fight back much. Some of the suits that they tried on really looked nice. In the midst of dressing and posing Kaoru noticed something. Was it just him, or was Tamaki flirting with Kyouya? And if he was, he wasn't being very discreet about it. Not thinking too much into it, Kaoru decided to ignore it and pass it off as the never-ending Tamaki charm. As time passed, he started to think that maybe things would go pretty well, but then something pink found its way into Kaoru's hands. Something pink, ruffly and with red laces. Kaoru had the grace to blush. Kyouya just smiled in a predatory way and Tamaki quickly retrieved said piece of clothing from Kaoru. Adult things are not for you yet.

Ok, things like this weren't new to Kaoru. Truthfully: he had kissed his brother on many occasions (Mostly the kissed had been pretty innocent, but Kaoru found himself not minding the thought of serious kisses (...I'm just suffering from Hikaru deprivation. That's all.), and when they woke up in the night both blushing and panting, well...

The -point- was. This was Tamaki, alias 'Charming prince, the king of every girl's heart, Mister I-live-for-my-princesses, Mr. Be-mine-Haruhi, etc. etc.' and Kyouya, alias 'Cold, calculative, sneaky, notepad writer, money greedy, world-conquering, cool and silent type'. Kaoru's brain almost suffered from a total meltdown. As the image of Tamaki in the pink frilly thing paraded itself through Kaoru's head, his brain threatened to quit its job.

"But Daddy, the children have to learn sometime..." Kyouya motioned Tamaki to come over to his lap.

"Oh Mommy! I think he's still too young!" Even with that said, Tamaki slipped himself onto Kyoya's lap and made himself comfortable, with a little squirming that provoked the most interesting sound from Kyoya.

Kaoru's brain and sanity were racing one another to the nearest door.

Kaoru must have looked as dumbstruck as he felt because Kyouya decided to take pity on him. "Your room is right across from this room. Make yourself comfortable."

"Sleep well!" Tamaki all but chirped and sparkled.

Kaoru made his escape from the room as fast as his feet could carry him.

The rest of the night he spent clutching his blanket and trying not to hear any of the noises that he didn't -want- to identify.

God, I miss Hikaru.


Never...again would he go there again. Mom and Dad could keep their business to themselves. He didn't need to know that. There were other reasons why he was feeling slightly uncomfortable with the situation. Sometimes he had...similar thoughts. Someone could call him narcissistic. Someone might think him a pervert of the worst kind. But Kaoru didn't care what other people though about it. He cared for Hikaru. A little too much at times.

The night at Tamaki's house had reawakened some painfully embarrassing visuals and dreams that Kaoru had hoped to have been forgotten. And boy, had things come back with a bang. Kaoru sighed tiredly. When this is over...I swear I'll do something about it.

On the other side of the school, Hunny managed to accidentally mention Kaoru's sleeping arrangements to a certain older brother.

Kaoru felt a sudden bang of anger. Then loneliness, and after that an unexplainable jealousy.

Great, I'm having mood swings. What next? A dress?

Day 4 : Girls to the Rescue!

Oh, the humiliation. The things he did for his brother. Kaoru was going to need some serious brotherly bonding and comforting when Hikaru got back. So far, the week had pretty much been one big mental scar.

Yesterday, Tamaki had come to him after Host club activities were over and presented him with two options. Either he chose to come and sleep over at Tamaki's place again or his brother would go there for the night. Yesterday's events still fresh in his mind, Kaoru almost chose option number two. But then he thought about his brother going there...and seeing Tamaki and Kyouya in full action.

Kaoru could never be so cruel to his brother.

So Kaoru took the bullet for Hikaru. He took one for the home team, the greater purpose, and all that. Even with that knowledge, it still didn't remove the painful humiliation of being forced to wear a dress. Kaoru didn't understand how that had happened (I think my mind is trying to block it off to save my sanity) but he had a sneaking suspicion that it involved Kyouya and the ridiculous amount of money that Hikaru owed him. When had he managed to get such a debt?

And as if to rub salt on his wounds Kaoru had to listen to another night of Mom's and Dad's activities.

God, I miss Hikaru.


"Kaoru-kun! Kaoru-kun! Come here."

Kaoru had only managed to get one foot inside the Host club room when a group of girls ambushed him and grabbed ahold of him to drag him away from the other people inside the room. Kyouya nodded approvingly, it seemed that the twins were actually getting more customers like this.

The girls looked around in a secretive manner before giving Kaoru an adoring look. "Poor Kaoru-kun. We see how you suffer."

"So we decided to help you get to your brother!" Another girl inserted.

The girls looked around again and whispered. "Tomorrow, after classes are over, come to the girls' toilet near Music room one, about a hour before the Host club opens."

Kaoru could only nod slightly and wonder what he was getting into. It'll be worth it, though, if I actually manage to see Hikaru.

The only problem with this plan was that he had to make it back to school for the next day. Kaoru only had to survive the night, over at Tamaki's place. Again. He could only hope that Hikaru hadn't managed to land himself into a big debt. Kaoru didn't think he'd survive another night of being the doll that Tamaki got to dress.

Not even a peaceful night

Kaoru crawled into his bed feeling completely drained. The night hadn't been so bad. Tamaki had only taught him how to treat a lady properly. With 'Mom's' assistance. It could have been worse, Kaoru kept telling himself, Just try to sleep now, and tomorrow you might even get to see Hikaru.

Just as Kaoru was about to get some shut-eye, a siren started to scream. What's that noise...is someone launching a nuclear missile at us? Kaoru thought, as he scrambled out of bed and to the nearest window.

"What the hell?"

The front yard was full of men dressed in dark uniforms, let it be bolded and underlined that there were a lot of them. A lot. And they all seemed to be running after something, Kaoru couldn't see what, though. For some reason the sight made him feel anxious. Kaoru didn't have much time to dwell on the matter since he heard the door open and Kyouya peeked his head in.

"Forgive the intrusion, but please ignore the current situation outside. I assure that everything is under control, and this matter does not concern you. Sleep well Hitachiin." And then Kyoya closed the door, leaving Kaoru staring stupidly at the door. The siren stopped, and as Kaoru looked outside he could only see the darkness. As if nothing had happened at all.

I need to sleep.

"Hikaru, did you honestly believe you could invade Tamaki's home without my knowledge?"

"Kyoya's got one third of his private army here, just in case something bad might happen!"

"Hush Tamaki, please do not mention my 'family private police' to other people."

I miss Kaoru.

Day 5 : The Plan of Plans

Kaoru was standing around looking like any other student would, killing time wandering around aimlessly in the spacious corridors of the school. But he wasn't just any old student, Kaoru was a student with a mission. A mission that he wasn't quite clear about but he was sure he would find out soon enough. That 'soon' hopefully being in the space of a few minutes. Kaoru glanced at his clock again. Exactly one hour till the Host club opens.

The door to the girls' bathroom creaked open, and a girl peeked out. "Kaoru-kun! Over here! Quick!" Then she disappeared back inside.

Feeling a bit reluctant Kaoru made his way to the door, glanced around so that he was sure no one was around (What would people think if they saw him going into a -girls- bathroom!) and slipped inside.

" We're so glad you came Kaoru-kun!" "Our plan is going to work like a dream!" "Don't worry – leave everything to us."

As reassuring as the girls sounded, Kaoru couldn't help the feeling of impending doom that settled over him. The looks the girls were giving him were quite frankly scary. Like a cat that decides to play with the mouse it caught.

Hikaru, I miss you so much, I think I'm going to punch you for letting us do this.


It had been some time since the Host club had opened its doors and Tamaki was still left alone. Where were all his patrons? His princesses? Maybe they thought of different ways to spend their time! Tamaki gasped at the thought of that. Naw, that couldn't be possible, no one could get tired of the Host club's King!

Tamaki sparkled proudly by himself.

And noticed a small pack of girls enter. Finally! Some company for him.

"Greetings my lovely princesses! How are you on this beautiful day?" Tamaki bowed and pecked the hand of the nearest girl.

"Oh Tamaki-kun!" The girl swooned and blushed slightly.

"We're here to show our new friend Renzu the famous Host club!" One of girls chirped and pulled at another girls sleeve. "Renzu meet Tamaki-kun, the King of the Host club.

'Oh another lovely lady for my harem? Ahem, Patrons. They're patrons.' Tamaki stood up to his full height and pulled a rose from thin air offering it to the somewhat shy looking girl. "Welcome to the Host club Princess Renzu." And putting all his Tamaki charm to the max he gently took the girls hand and pulled her up against himself to gently put the rose into her hair. "Even the beautiful rose pales in your comparison." Tamaki whispered and pecked Renzu's hand.

Kaoru was shocked beyond belief. He couldn't help the blush on his cheeks, partly from embarrassment and shock, partly from the fact that Tamaki had -kissed his hand-. The girls weren't helping either, he could hear their excited giggles very well.

Kaoru had to do something quick, he didn't think that a pair of colored contacts, some make-up, a wig, fake breasts and a corset would go so well with Tamaki or any other member of the club. Speaking of which Kaoru was ready to faint, and it didn't have anything to do with Tamaki and his sparkled charm. How did girls survive with these constricting pieces of clothing?

But now to the matter at hand, quite literally, Kaoru had to act his best to pull this off. Managing a polite cough, Kaoru did his best to speak in the girliest voice he could muster.

"Tamaki-kuuun." Kaoru gently pulled his hand from the over excited kings clasp. "I'm flattered that you would think so." A slight blush and a shy glance to ground. The girls practically screamed. "I wouldn't want to bother you, the King who has many patrons, so I would like to be accompanied by one of the Hitachiins." Kaoru looked up at the King and gently worried his lower lip. "I've heard they're quite handsome!" And then, he could only hope for the best. The girls certainly didn't seem to be offering any help, they were too busy blushing and saying things like "Oh, we have a love triangle!" Kaoru hoped that Tamaki wouldn't suspect anything, because he wouldn't live down the shame if the whole club saw him like this and realized who he was.

"The Hitachiin twins? Oh, those two can't perfectly appreciate a beautiful princess such as yourself. Those troublesome twins won't be able to give you the attention someone like yourself deserves." The King gave him a sly wink.

Kaoru nearly had to bite his tongue not to say anything about the things Tamaki just said about him and Hikaru. Did Tamaki know who he was? No, no, no, that would give Tamaki way too much credit, and he refused to admit it. Bravely, Kaoru kept up his blushing maiden act, though it was a bit strained. "Oh really? I've heard quite the opposite actually." When had Tamaki managed to capture his hand again? "If you're so certain about their lacking qualities, perhaps we should go meet them?"

"Oh such a brave princess you are! But I refuse to make any sorts of experiments with a beautiful lady such as yourself! It would go against my honor." A peck on Kaoru's hand. "But since you seem so keen on meeting the members of your club perhaps we should go see Hunny-sempai and Mori-sempai?" And with that Tamaki started dragging him to where Hunny and Mori supposedly were.

Panic slapped it's hand across Kaoru's cheek. No, no, NO! Not those two! They were too sharp, especially Hunny-sempai. They'd see through his disguise faster than you could say 'It's Kaoru in drag!' Trying to keep calm and collected Kaoru tightened his hold on Tamaki's hand and refused to budge. "Oh, I think I'll be just fine in your company!" Kaoru tried to manage his best smile.

"That's splendid! I knew you'd come around!" And with that and a broad smile Tamaki swooped him off.

Kaoru could only hope that Hikaru got bored enough to come bother Tamaki.

It turned out Hikaru wasn't feeling bored that day.

Kaoru tossed himself onto his bed. Kyouya had told him that they were feeling generous enough to let him go home tonight. Kaoru had gladly accepted and mentally wished Hikaru all the best of luck. He would need it.

Sometime after Kaoru had left the Host club, Tamaki had went to Kyouya to boast about his newest "princess" but was left rather horrified after he found out that his newest member of the Tamaki harem, was actually a male. And to boot, not just any male, but Kaoru!

The shock had left Tamaki quite breathless but not for long as he spotted Hikaru at the corner of his vision. Misery loves company as they say and thus Tamaki coughed as if to catch Hikaru's attention and continued talking to his friend a bit too loudly for the resident twin to not hear.

"Guess what Kaoru was wearing today when he came to see me Kyoya..."

Kyouya could only sigh as he watched the King run around the room crying about curses, followed closely by a furious Hikaru who was scribbling a certain someone's name behind a Beelzenef doll.

Day 6 : Boring ol' Sunday

Beep Beep Beep Beep...

"Hikaru...it's your turn to..." The rest of the sentence was muffled by the pillow Kaoru plopped over his head to block away the evilness that is the alarm clock's noise.
After a minute or so when the beeping didn't cease Kaoru peeked out from under his pillow and looked over to Hikaru's very empty side of their linked beds.

"Oh...yeah...you're not here..."

Kaoru lifted his hand with much effort and put an end to the alarm clock's wails. The loneliness was starting to creep up on him again. Squirming a little closer to his brother's side of the bed, Kaoru reached out to take Hikaru's pillow, and pulled it into a tight hug. Burying his face into the pillow, Kaoru took a deep breath, the pillow smelled just like his brother.

Today could wait a little longer. Kaoru dozed off peacefully with the pillow still tight in his grasp.

Suou Mansion

Hikaru had always wondered what Tamaki was like 'Off duty'. But now he was quickly starting to regret ever feeling curious about that; some things were supposed to be left in the dark. And this most definitely was one of those things to be left alone.

"Kyouya! Why do I have to wear the dress?"

"Because lavender suits you and makes you look more beautiful?"

The King sparkles. "That's true. Oh you always think what's best for me♥"

Hikaru shuddered as he continued watching the two discuss things that he really didn't need to know and tried to ignore as best as he could. I'm not here, I'm not here, I'm at home with Kaoru. A glint of light reflecting off glasses brought him quickly back to the cruel reality.

"Hikaru will help of course...Tell us...which would you prefer, light blue or light orange? The maids of honor need to have their dress colors picked."


"Don't worry, we've got the whole day to think about the perfect color!"

Hikaru could only gape at the two. Kaoru, my dear, dear twin, what have you been through?

Not nearly enough, it would seem, since Kaoru actually hoped he could be at the Suoh mansion. At least he wouldn't have to roam around at home feeling lonely and alone. The twins' mother, it seemed, was at some fashion event in Paris, and their father was traveling abroad as well. There was no one to keep him company. Sigh. He had called Haruhi and tried to get some sympathy from her, but the girl's advice to take this as a learning experience hadn't helped much.

I need to get through today and tomorrow and then this will be over. Kaoru sighed again. Two days never seemed so long.


Day 7 : When Desperation Strikes

Kaoru stared out of the window with a absent look on his face (the teacher had long since given up on trying gain the twin's attention), wondering how it was possible that time went on so slowly. Kaoru was simply itching for something to happen to keep his mind off his missing brother, which wasn't an easy task. It had been a long week full of clumsiness, leaning against something that wasn't there, loneliness, the absence of the occasional touches he and his brother shared, boredom, Kaoru knew no better company to ward off boredom then his brother. All in all...it had been a lousy week, and it was taking its toll on the poor separated twins.

Kaoru needed to do something, do something drastic and quick before he would go out of his mind.

And the teacher continued his monotonous speech about what ever.

Moments later...

Let it not be said that the Hitachiin twins don't have a taste for dramatics.

Currently, one of the sides of the Ouran high school was buzzing with life, mainly firemen, some people from Kyouya's private army...correction... family police, and a few helicopters. And as time passed, more curiously whispering students started to gather. It didn't take long for the crowds to notice a certain redhead hugging the side of the school building up on the highest floor of the school.

Soon enough, the host club made their appearance.

"Kaoru! Daddy is not pleased! And neither is Mother. I'll have to punish you for this later." A few girls giggled at this and Tamaki blushed. I don't like SM!

Kyoya quickly snagged the megaphone from Tamaki and cleared his voice with a cough. "Indeed, I'm not very pleased. What did you hope to accomplish with this ridiculous stunt?"

High up at the top, Kaoru simply whimpered; what a time to discover that you're afraid of heights. His oh-so-dramatic plan had been to get to the neighboring class room(He knew Hikaru had classes there that time of the day) via the side of the building, enter, grab Hikaru and elope together to some far away place. Maybe Kyouya's private army wouldn't find them right away? ...Not that it mattered now, his plan had been doomed the moment it was born. And now with his latest discovery of acrophobia, the plan was beyond doomed.

"Tama-chan, I think Kao-chan is stuck."


"Really, you think so?" Tamaki blinked at Hunny and Mori then snapped his fingers. "Kyoya, give me a pair of binoculars!"

In a few a pair of binoculars appeared on Tamakis hand and he looked up at the poor stranded twin.

"...He's not moving. He's just standing there, clutching the wall...He really is stuck up there!" Not waisting a second Tamaki sprang into sparkling action. "We need to start operation save poor Kaoru from his own plan!"

"Hurray! Let's go save Kao-chan, then eat cake!" Hunny cheered.

Haruhi sighed and muttered something about rich bastards and no common sense.

After a small negotiation, the club decided to have Mori lowered to Kaoru with a rope and safety harness, then, after Mori took a good hold of the twin, the both of them were lifted over to safety. (Kyoya had been selling binoculars to fan girls, who were having a regular field day thanks to the show the host club was putting on.)

As soon as Moris feet touched the roof Kaoru jumped out of his arms and practically kissed the ground he was on, if anything at least he'd learned to appreciate the nice firm ground he walked on. Kaoru fell onto his back and sprawled on the roof staring at the sky trying to gather his thoughts and calm his racing heart. Mori gazed up at the sky as well as if to see what was so interesting. A part of Kaoru was glad that his brother wasn't there to see this humiliating little incident. No doubt he'd hear about it though, not with the audience they had. Exhaling loudly Kaoru rubbed at his right temple, Hikaru would never let him live this down.

Blinking slightly the twin noticed the tall shadow looming over him and cracked a small smile. "Thanks for saving me Mori-senpai..."

"Hmm." Was the only answer Mori gave him.

The soft scratching of pen on paper could be heard. "It would seem that the little show you pulled actually earned us some money, all the Kaoru and Mori merchandise was sold out almost immediately. Not to mention reservations for future products. Would you like to do this again some other time?"

Kaoru gave Kyouya a murderous glare that one could interpret as No-Way-In-Hell, You-Think-I'm-Batshit-Crazy, I'd-Rather-Dress-Up-In-The-Frilly-Dress-Tamaki-Has or something in the lines of that. Kyoya flat out ignored the look he was given and continued writing on his notepad.

"Oh, you're dismissed for the rest of the day Kaoru. Your teacher though it would be best if you spent the rest of your day at home."

"Why? I'm not sick or hurt."

"It's a real shame really, but he though it would be best if you didn't pull any more of these kinds of stunts."



Kaoru was currently having a stare-down with the clock in his and Hikaru's room. The bored twin was getting more conviction behind his theory of time going slower when you wanted it to go faster. Kaoru blinked his eyes tiredly hardly registering the fact that it was five to midnight. I wonder how they're going to handle this...situation... I really hope I don't have to wait till morning to get Hikaru back.

Time continued its slow crawl, making a real effort to stretch the remaining five minutes to what Kaoru would later swear to be the longest five minutes of his life.

As the clock struck midnight a polite knock could be heard from the door, Kaoru bolted up from the bed and to the door. He tried really hard not to seem too excited as he opened the door. The first person he saw was Kyouya.

"It would seem that a week has passed."

Tamaki stepped out from behind the dark haired teen. "Hope you two learned your lesson! Don't play with daddy's looks!"

Kaoru nodded frantically. Yes yes yes yes, just give me back my Hikaru!

Tamaki couldn't help but to smile. "You can come inside!"

A door opened and Hunny bounced inside, followed by Mori, who was carrying Hikaru. The three of them were tailed by a silent-looking Haruhi. Of all the ridiculous stunts.



Mori set the older twin in front of Kaoru and retreated to the background.

It must have taken less then a second for the twins to attach themselves to one another.

Kaoru gave his twin a shy look from under his lashes, a slight blush tinting his cheeks. Tamaki slightly paled at this, Kaoru really had been that girl.

"Hikaru, I missed you so much!"

Hikaru let out a low growl and tightened his grip around his brother's waist. "Has anyone dared to touch you while I was away?"

The younger one let out a small sob and clutched the front of his brother's school uniform. "I couldn't help it! The King left me with no other choice! I was trying to get to you but he wouldn't let me go!" Kaoru did the teary-uke-eyes™.

The rest of the Host club members all gave Tamaki a questioning look and a raised eyebrow.

Blushing a bit guiltily, Tamaki waved his hands in exasperation. "I though he was a girl!" he hissed at the others in a low voice.

Meanwhile Hikaru had taken hold of Kaoru's chin and they were busy staring into each other's eyes. "Where did he touch you?"

"He kissed my hand..." Blush.

The Host clubs attention was centered on the main event again.

Hikaru gently took Kaoru's hand and gave it a wet kiss. "Where else?"

Kaoru averted his eyes bashfully and unbuttoned a few of his shirt buttons to motion at his collar bone.

Everyone looked at Tamaki again. Who was busy staring at the twins with large eyes. "I did no such thing!" Was all he could whimper as Hikaru lowered his head and thoroughly molested the spot Kaoru had motioned at.

When Hikaru deemed the spot 'purified' enough, he licked his lips and looked up slightly. "And?"

Another pretty blush and Kaoru motioned at his neck. "Here..."

Tamaki was absolutely flabbergasted. Kyouya was starting to give him a hard look that promised unmentionable things to happen in his near future. "I didn't! I swear I didn't!" Everyone gave him the 'that's what they all say when they get caught' look.

"And here..."

While the others had been concentrating on Tamaki's perverse nature, Hikaru had worked his way up over to Kaoru's lips.

And thus the Host club gawked as the twins busied themselves in a passionate lip lock.

"...Tamaki..." Kyouya's glassed glinted dangerously.

"..." All poor Tama could get out was a whimper.



"..." More staring.

Some groping was starting to take place. The two really seemed to be getting into it. I guess this would mean there really was something to the brotherly love act after all, Haruhi thought.

When Kaoru wrapped his legs around Hikaru's midsection and started making interesting motions with his hips, Tamaki squawked and placed his hand over Haruhi's eyes. "Not suited for me lovely innocent daughter," he whimpered.

The two twins were blatantly ignored everyone else in the room and actually started started to claw at each other's clothes.

"..." Tamaki wondered absently when his brain had decided to abandon him and left him rooted on the spot. Well...at least the others weren't doing much better then he was.

At the part where the twins had managed to rid themselves of their shirts they actually had the decency to move things to the bedroom and close the door after themselves. Which had been an interesting operation to see, considering that Kaoru was hanging on his twin and the both of them seemed to have their hands very busy.

Slowly Tamaki lowered his hand from Haruhi's eyes and stared at the door. "Well..."

"I didn't know you had an interest in Kaoru, Senpai." Haruhi gave Tamaki a dull stare.

"Neither did I." Kyouya was scribbling on his notepad, mouth a grim line.

"No, no, no...my sweet daughter, Mommy! Daddy is perfectly faithful to you both! Why would I want to do such ungraceful things to your brother?"

Mori and Hunny were oddly quiet in the background, they exchanged looks.

"I don't know...why don't you tell us--" Haruhi was cut short by a low moan that echoed from behind the door.

"OH...Hikaru! ♥" Floated through the air after a moan.


Tamaki covered his nose hastily.




Hunny jumped into Mori's arms and waved at the others. "We're going now, bai bai!" The two of them were off before Haruhi had the chance to blink.


Another low moan.

Tamaki whimpered a bit and took out a handkerchief to help with the 'flood control'. Kyouya growled just slightly and dragged the King off by his ear stopping only to motion Haruhi to follow them.

Soon after everyone had left, giggles could be heard from the twins' room.

Payback was a sweet thing indeed.


"...Oh! Kaoru!" ♥

The End

Hope you were able to enjoy that XD; Was my first written piece of fanfiction, ever. Laugh at my first cracktastic child.
I haven't read all of the manga so I hope I didn't do anything against cannon xx; And please forgive me if some names are different (struggled with Hunny).
In any case...I salute thee since you managed to read all that random sillyness♥ XD