Howdy. Yaoi GenxRai… but that's not what this story is focusing on. It's just in my little perverted Naruto universe, wherein generally everyone is gay. Don't like it? That's fine with me. Shoo.

To Torment A Genma
Genma rolled over into the down pillow; his favorite down pillow, in fact, the most favorite and oldest down pillow he had. The old brown flannel cover was close to nostalgic, and the way the feathers curved around his head was like an old friend every night when he laid down. He loved his pillow like a child loved his teddy bear after the door had been shut and the monsters of the night began to crawl around. There was just no replacing such a wonderful pillow.

A swift kick in the knee rudely yanked the jounin from his pillow reminiscing, though, Raidoh turning over in his sleep and mumbling something about elbow tag. Genma mumbled back about knee caps and turned over lazily, reaching to his night stand while trying to avoid straining his morning brain functions. Fingertips met cooled wood, then traveled around the empty space expectantly, waiting from the second most nostalgic object in his life; his beloved senbon. It didn't matter which senbon, as long as he had one, any one, in his mouth to keep his wandering mouth, hands, and mind at bay when there was nothing else to do.

"Raaaidooooooh…." He kicked backwards several times, attempting to wake his partner. "Raaaidooooooooh." The intruding foot was rewarded quite suddenly, a scarred elbow snapping back to clash with Genma's skull. "Owwww…."

"Don' touch meh…" Raidoh rolled onto his stomach, hiding the pout on his face from having been awakened from an exhilarating dream.

"Raidoh… I can't find my senbon…"

An aggravated sigh was his first response, followed by a none to compassionate second response. "You have hundreds… and you wake me up… to tell me that you lost one from your nightstand?"

Genma considered this for a moment. "Well… yeah." He glanced over his shoulder anxiously. "I wanna know where it went!"

"I'm going to kill you."

"You're not a very good morning person."

Raidoh scowled and pushed himself out of the bed. "I'm taking a shower. Breakfast better be on the table when I get out, jackass."


"Hey. I don't see breakfast." Raidoh had made an effective dribbling puddle from the bathroom to the kitchen, his stomach growling and his towel already soaked with neglected water.

"Raidoh! I can't find- why are you in a towel? – Don't answer that. I can't find any of my senbon. They're gone. All of them. So are yours. Gone." His eyes were wide in fright. There was an undying revere in the back of his eyes, an unworldly feeling of some higher being in the house. "I have hundreds and they're all gone." By now, he was convinced there was a devil, and that he was for some reason the horrible butt of his joke.

Raidoh stared at his partner and long time acquaintance in a general disbelief, mostly convinced that this was a prank Genma was pulling on him. "Are you… I mean, that's impossible. Did you check the couch cushions? I always find some in the couch cushions. I usually find them with my ass, too." His eyes suddenly went annoyed. "You know, you leave those stupid things everywhere, there has to be some you neglected to clean up!" he left his puddle on the floor to weave a wet trail to the living room now.

"I looked! I even looked in the garbage can for the old one I threw out yesterday! And it's gone! I distinctly remember shoving it in an orange peel, and I found the orange peel with a hole in it!" he flailed at the counter, a maniac fear returning to his eyes.

"Kami-sama, calm down. Lemme go get some clothes on, then we'll look around some more."


Raidoh stared for a long moment, steely gaze plastered to his lover. "I'll give you three seconds to calm down before I pound your ass."

Effective for the time being, Genma took a deep breath and went to the refrigerator. "Maybe…. Maybe it was Kakashi. He's still all… uppity about the teasing… and all…" he wandered in a daze over to the refrigerator. "Maybe I shouldn't have teased him…"

Raidoh slipped from the room, Genma still mumbling to him even in his absence. Today had not started out well. First he'd been rudely awakened, and now he was hungry with a zombified Genma staggering around the kitchen. "Kami…"


Iruka's eyebrow twitched when he got a look at the frantic arms waving at him from the back window. So far, the students were yet to notice the distraction, and it was his only hope that they didn't see Genma. Last time the jounin had been in there, he had caused utter chaos. He'd been asked to substitute for five minutes, that was it! Sandaime had only taken him out of his room for five minutes! Upon returning, the students had been in bedlam, screaming, running, bleeding, and laughing all at once.

"Alright class, why don't you work a quick summary of the lesson, alright? I'm going to step into the hallway for a moment." He called loudly, Genma taking the hint and poofing into the hallway from the garden.

Iruka closed the door quietly behind him, but stayed visibly in the window of the door to keep an eye on the students. "You can't find Kakashi, right?" Iruka muttered flatly, eyeing a boy in class who was poking his partner with a pencil and giggling.

"Yes. It's an emergency. I think he stole all my senbon." Genma's voice ghosted out the horror as if he were mentioning someone coming back from the dead.

Iruka chuckled, "I'm sorry, Genma, he' been on a mission for the last two days." He apologized kindly, then squinted, "That's what's wrong! I couldn't place it!" he grinned, "You don't have a senbon in your mouth!"

Genma all but grabbed Iruka's flak vest to shake him. "I have NO senbon whatsoever! Gone! All of them! Can- can I borrow one of yours? Just to chew on until I get to the store?" The guiltless pleading was downright pathetic, earning him a look that clearly stated, 'are you that desperate, you little six year old?'

"Genma… the weapon's supply store is just down the road. Besides, I don't have even one. I'm teaching. I've found it best not to carry weapons, seeing as trying to get between rows of desks makes my weapons pouch an easy target. Raidoh didn't have any?"


"Oh. Hm. That's a dull prank." He snorted flatly. "Are you sure it wasn't Raidoh? Not that I'm implying he pulls dull pranks, but maybe you were mean to him about something?"

"No. This is so much more than a dull prank. Only a genius would know what this would do to me. I can't function properly!" he twitched angrily, eyebrow ticking.

Iruka hesitated, frowning. "That's… an odd quality. I've-hey!" he swung the door open and glared. "Put it down." He warned, pointing a finger at the boy who had raised his pencil to hurl threateningly.

He lowered his arm slowly, avoiding his sensei's eyes. "How'd he do that!" he hissed to his partner, who only shrugged and looked busy.

"Genma-san, as enthralling as this conversation is, I have to get back to them before someone loses an eye. I'll tell Kakashi about your… problem… when he gets home tonight, alright? – Hey! What did I just tell you?" he closed the door and snatched the pencil from his student, turning it around and poking the brat in the arm, "Does it feel good? Now imagine it being thrown at the back of your head!"

Genma turned, dejected, and started down the hall. "Weapons store. Down the street." He repeated Iruka's words to himself reassuringly. Of course a weapon's store would have his preferred weapon.


"I'm terribly sorry, Genma-san, we're completely out. Our last shipment didn't come in, and the next isn't going to be here till the month following." He shrugged apologetically. "I'm sure that you have extra stock at the Academy, don't you?"

"They're for training purposes only. Every single one of them has "Training Academy Senbon" scribed into them. They explode if brought off campus. Kids sneaking them out and all." He explained glumly, looking around the store. "None? At all?"

"Not a single one." He shook his head apathetically, turning to another customer that had walked up with a large basket of deadly looking weapons. "Goodmorning Ten-Ten!"

"Mornin' old man! Gots me some new places to put these!" she grinned, setting the basket on the counter with a dull thud

Genma's feet dragged as he left the store, his teeth instinctively chewing on the only thing available in his mouth: his cheek and tongue. At this rate, he'd be bleeding out the mouth by noon.

The local restaurants were bound to have them, or something like them. He nodded firmly and started his second quest.

I've had this on my computer forever, and I've finally gotten around to posting it. Now it's just a matter of continuing it. For those of you who are wondering about the 'teasing' Kakashi received from Genma, go read Revenge of the Uke (wherein Kakashi and Genma discuss Kakashi's recent sexual jaunt with Iruka) Poke me if you want this continued, because I have to will power.