Dear Genma,

I'm sorry I neglected you for so long and left you in a senbon-less limbo land. Please forgive me. Here is my update.

Sincerely yours,

Andraia (aka Lotus Aia)


To Torment a Genma, part 3


The situation defied logic. Genma was sure of this fact and tried desperately to convince his fellow shinobi. Every shinobi, from genin to jounin, even a few of the Anbu guards he had approached at Tsunade's door, lacked even a single senbon. It was absurd! How could the entire village be so unprepared with one of the most commonly used stealth weapons?

Raidoh had grown a little more than worried now. Soft expressions of puzzlement were followed by forlorn and bemused glances. His boyfriend was not psychotic, but he was on his way to getting there. Raidoh agreed that the situation was abnormal, but Genma's reaction was more so the problem to be worried about.

One particularly grueling day (the third day in Genma's torture?), the facially scarred shinobi sat his livid partner down on the couch and laid a gentle reassuring hand on his knee. "Genma. You are not. Going. To. Die." he murmured, treading carefully over this newfound rage. "It's a senbon. You cannot be this attached to something so… inanimate. And small."

"I know!" Genma tore off his bandana and ran a hand through his hair. Abruptly, Raidoh realized just how odd he looked wearing a shinobi vest without his senbon or his bandana. It was like a new person! The agitated man continued without knowledge of Raidoh's betraying thoughts of having the senbon permanently disappear. "It's not just the fact that I don't have my senbon now, it's the fact that no one has a senbon! It's crazy! Ludicrous! How can a ninja village be completely void of a ninja weapon?"

"…Have you tried chewing on the teriyaki skewers?"

"They're too long and heavy. Hurt my jaw." he bemoaned. "And the metal tasted bad and all…" A defeated sigh fell over him, body dropping to hang loosely over his knees.

Raidoh rubbed his back comfortingly, thinking to himself for some possible way to relieve this entire mess. "Why don't you keep looking around the house. There must be some around here, you always leave them in inappropriate places anyway. I'll go ask around and see if anyone has seen anyone acting suspiciously. You think it was Kakashi, you said?"

"Yes. Definitely."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because. This is something only an elite could pull off. And he's just the jackass to do it."

Raidoh shrugged and pulled on his hitai-ate. "Alright… if you say so. I'll see what I can find out." he promised, closing the door behind him grimly. He feared leaving the berserk ninja alone suddenly.

o0O0o

Kakashi knocked on the classroom window. Thirty curious eyes turned to face him, all staring openingly at the Cyclops-resembling jounin at the window.

Iruka scowled slightly and quickly excused himself from the front of the class, gliding to the window and tossing it open. "I'm busy."

"I can see that."

"…"

"…."

"What!"

Kakashi's single eye took on a hesitant smile, "Uh… do you know anything about Senbon… and Genma… missing?"

Iruka nodded, impatient to return to his class. They had just begun the silent visual connections which could only lead to the silent 'teacher attack mode' if too much time was left for them to plan.

"Yes, yes, he said something about he couldn't find his senbon anywhere, so I sent him to a restaurant or something. I'm in the middle of class Kakashi, you know I can't leave them alone for too long!" he glanced over his shoulder, distressed to find the little buggers had already begun, "Look, now they're already getting the paper shuriken folded. I have to go." he began to close the window, but Kakashi snapped one arm up and held it open.

"Iruka."

"What?"

"Give them back. I think you've gotten your revenge."

Iruka pouted. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Genma doesn't function well without his senbon. They're kind of like… his security. You have your hair tie, I have my mask… Genma has his senbon. I know you're unhappy about all the teasing he's been doing to us, but I think you've officially proved your point."

The chuunin eyed his boyfriend hard. "How'd you know it was me?"

Kakashi beamed. "Only the most elite prankster in Konoha could have pulled this off. And there's no one more elite than you, Iruka-sensei." he winked, then shoved his hands in his pockets to resume his lazy appearance. "Maa… it was a wonderful idea though, I wish I could have thought of it."

Iruka smirked silently and closed his window in finality.

The higher ranking jounin chuckled to himself and turned to saunter away, fully proud of his little chuunin and elite prankster.

o0O0o

"Genma!" Iruka smiled brightly to the disheveled commissions room worker. "For a while I thought you weren't going to be here! Last time that happened, we got a flood of mission reports and I couldn't handle them all." he chuckled, scooting his chair in to let Genma past.

"Hn…yeah'm'here…" Genma slurred, sitting down with a flop.

Iruka cocked an eyebrow at him, "Um… are you okay? Your cheeks look… is that blood dripping from you mouth…?" He stared in disbelief.

"Chewin'… on ma'mouth…" A dreary voice returned, on hand extending up to wipe away the moisture.

"Ah… oh! Your senbon! You still haven't found them?" The compassion in his voice was unmistakably realistic.

"No…" Genma sighed dramatically, eyes glazed and staring straight ahead.

Iruka beamed brightly, "Well in that case, I'm glad I brought this! When you told me you lost yours, I felt so bad for you! So I dug around in my closet and found these. You can have them all if you like!" From the inside pocket of his vest, he produced a thin almost flat pouch, wrinkled distinctly into senbon like shapes.

Genma's eyes grew wide as the holiest of all holy grails was handed to him, so simply, so happily by the savior Iruka-sensei.

Like a hungry bear on a happy camper, Genma attacked the senbon case and pulled out one delicately crafted and flawlessly beautiful senbon. Small words that were scribbled as 'Iruka-sensei' were painted in black on the sides, making Genma's heart flitter even more. Iruka's personal pack! Just for him!

"Oh, Iruka! You have no idea how grateful I am to you!" he lunged sideways, the heartfelt sentiment fleeting by in the form of an ecstatic hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! Kami-sama, you have no idea how much I appreciate this!"

Iruka beamed, "I think I understand."

Without further ado, Genma popped one into his mouth, the sweet, sweet feeling of ideal being washing over him. His protection, his sense of self. This was it. He had a senbon. Twelve to be exact! All thanks to Iruka-sensei!

"I'm so sorry I ever teased you and Kakashi about the whole uke-seme thing, I promise I won't do it anymore. You're my life saver! Thank you so much, Iruka." He breathed, clutching the little pack to his chest.

Iruka beamed brightly and patted him on the shoulder, "Anything for a friend, Genma-san."

Kakashi watched from the corner of the room, truly impressed. He couldn't believe it. He was dating the mastermind of prank. It was truly an amazing sight, both the transformation from hell-bent Genma, and the spectacular performance of a true pank artist. He giggled to himself. Indeed, he'd just witnessed the greatest conspiracy in Konoha.


Bwuahahaha! Naughty Iruka-sensei! Did you enjoy?

Feed the ego, leave a review!

PS! The 'teasing' is a reference to another story I've written, called Revenge of the Uke. It was a one shot turned two shot, a short and fun read that some of you may have already guessed was linked to this one. Genma's comment about the 'uke-seme thing' probably was a big hint.