Even though I got inspired by the show 'Cold Turkey' I've actually never seen the show so HA!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Nintendo, Hal, Pax, McDonalds, Whatever thing the Cookies Monster is from (forgot)and yeah.


C O L D T U R K E Y


It was a freaking hot July afternoon, All over the mansion everyone was doing something different, except the fact that they all were either hiding a stash, holding a jar of, or eating gummy worms.

Ness opened his jar and pulled out some sugary delights when he realized all of it had melted together, "Treasure, sweet, sweet treasure!" Ness whispered at the mass of goodness.

Everyone came down to get more gummy worms or at least gummy bears when they noticed the world's biggest gummy worm. "GET HIM!" Capt. Falcon screamed. Everyone ran after the kid who screamed and ran off.

Ness jumped out a one-story window and landed in a bush, "ALL MINE!" he shrieked in joy and craziness, then Master Hand yanked it away "WTF?"

"Get out here!" the glove angrily yelled at the Smashers who ran around screaming for anything gummy. They eventually came out,

"Yesh?" the twenty-six all slurred at once,

"I have signed you all up on a cruise to relax!"

They stared.

"It also has an unlimited supply of anything gummy!" The hand added,

"YAYZORZ!" They yelled and rushed off even though they didn't know where to go and knew it.


Later the cruise went great until the Smashers invaded the kitchen and searched for something that even resembled a worm.

"This is mine!" Marth complained, tugging on a box of bear-shaped chocolate,

"O RLY, noob?" asked an aggravated Yoshi.

"Attention all Smashers." came Crazy Hand's voice from the intercom, "Please report to the deck."

They did so.

"All I see is boring water." Peach said, annoyed. Then Master Hand blew one big dart that somehow touched all of them, in to the crowd.


They awoke to find themselves in a weird mansion/beach house.

"I don't know where we are, but I demand gummies!"Pichu ordered,

"That is why you are all here." Crazy Hand said as he and his brother floated in from the main door revealing that they were on a desert island.

"Why?" Luigi asked dramatically and sexily.

"Well," Crazy began, "You all are friggin' obsessed with gummy bears and worms, mostly worms."

Everyone tried to look proud but failed.

"So you will all be in a reality television show calledCold Turkey!"

"NO!" Kirby cried while on his knees and looking at the ceiling, but realized he doesn't have knees and had a yeast infection. But noticed there was no yeast in sight so this whole line never happened.

"Anyway, all this will be is you acting crazy while annually competing in challenges and being recorded and shown on HBO so it looks more special than the other crud. In fact you are being recorded as we speak."

"KAY!" they all yelled at once, making a random wine glass shatter.

"Now first we have a guest come and tell you his/her addiction story of gummies." Master Hand announced, the two disappeared and the main door opened; there stood ZS Samus who bumped into a low hanging boom mike.

"Hey, get that out of my face!" she yelled, got up and noticed her legs tangled in the wires, she and the mike holder guy tried to get untangled but failed, "AW (CENSORED) (CENSORED) You (LONG CENSORED) piece of (CENSORED) I-"

She tugged on the wires and the screen went to the test screen with the colored bars and beeping noise.

Suddenly the manor came back on as ZS Samus stumbled onto a seat, breaking her clumsy fall, and sat there in the odd position as the nervous Smashers stared,

"Uh, I used to be really fat." She showed a picture that sentSamus to the bathroom holdingher mouth andBowser turninghis head to one side while turning pale, "Now I'm not, and I have great sex appeal!" she signaled the camera off screen for a close up on her breasts and butt with sexy music playing, "All thanks to going cold turkey!"

"Times up!" a guy grabbed the chair and pushed it out the windowand screamed.

"CRABBY TIME!" Roy yelled and smashed the glass table with a small statue of Master Hand, Fox, disguised as a lamp, (just a lamp shade on his head) leapt onto Roy and the two rolled around the floor.

Everyone ran around yelling obscenities in gibberish and pig latten.

Samus threw Jigglypuff at Mewtwo, Young Link tried to grab Kirby while dressed in a Cookie Monster costume.

C. Falcon tried lighting the drapes on fire with Marth's Tiara while the prince himself chased him.

Mario, Zelda, Pikachu, and Donkey Kong ran after the Hamburgaler to get their Happy Meals back "DK wants his cheap toy!" DK said.

It was going to be a fun time.


PLZ review or I will go L33T on joo!

Thanks!