Wow. I thought I posted this on ages ago. Maybe not. My bad.
Title: Mortis Veritas ('Death's Truth' in
Latin…or at least I hope so, I don't speak Latin fluently, sorry
if it's incorrect)
Rating: PG-13, because of the detailed psychological issues and death.
Summary: Kate sits alone with her thoughts; but she's not really alone, the ghost of someone she killed still haunts her – constantly.
Warnings: If you're not happy will blood, death or some psychological issues then this may not be the fic for you.Spoilers up to early Season 2.
Status of Fic: Completed one shot.
Disclaimer: I don't own 'Lost' or any of its characters or plots. They all belong to JJ Abrams, ABC and co.
Author's Notes: I entered this for the first ever Lost Forum Fan Fiction Challenge, didn't win but I thought I'd share anyway!
Kate sat on the golden sands of the mysterious tropical island, oblivious to the hot afternoon sun bearing down on her. Her eyes were unfocused, gazing in the vague direction of the ocean as her thoughts travelled miles away, carried by the rough and dangerous waves in the depths of her mind.
Scenes and memories flashed before her, the past unable to unravel itself from the strong, binding ropes that tied it down unwillingly. She wanted to be free, but he wouldn't let her. He wouldn't let her forgive herself, he wouldn't let her get attached to anyone, he wouldn't let her sleep without the nightmares plaguing her tormented psyche every time she tried to sleep.
It was Wayne that told her to run after kissing Jack. It was Wayne that said she wasn't good enough for him… for anyone. Wayne controlled her, and as much as she tried, Kate couldn't get rid of him. He was still there. Every single day and every single night ever since she killed him. Wayne was the voice in her head that kept her alive, it was him who told her to keep running and never look back…and ultimately, it was Wayne's fault she was stuck on this god-forsaken island. Not that he told her that. No, Wayne told Kate that it was her fault, it was always her fault. She was useless, pathetic and unwanted. But the most crushing thing Wayne whispered to her constantly was that she was unloved.
Kate believed everything he said to her; every lie, every insult, every single word that slipped out of his bitter and cruel mouth. She despised him. She wanted to kill him all over again, tape his mouth shut, cut his ugly wrists and watch all the blood seep out of his body, until there was no way he could ever speak to her again. But Wayne didn't allow this. He ruled over her, and he wouldn't let her kill him again, convincing her that she needs him the same way she needs that damn toy plane.
That was one of Wayne's favourite topics; right up there with the Jack and Sawyer debate and how she didn't deserve any of them. He would tell her how pathetic she was, holding onto that plane, and how stupid she was to ever let someone into her already broken heart, until he gradually reduced her to silent tears.
Kate knew Wayne was just a cruel illusion her mind created, but she couldn't stop. She didn't know how to stop him. She once considered going to ask Jack… but Wayne quickly dismissed it, saying how Jack didn't even care about her, and would care even less if she told him that she was hearing voices. He wouldn't even be able to help so why waste the doctor's precious time with her useless and futile thoughts?
No, Wayne made sure that Kate knew that she was alone in this and that no one either cared or could help her pitiful self. She didn't deserve anyone's help, care or love.
And, as she sat there alone in the sand and the sky gradually darkened around her, Kate knew Wayne was right.
She wasn't good enough.
Hope you liked it! Please leave a pretty comment!