Disclaimer: I do not own Azumanga Daioh.

(A.N thanks again, onee-chan, for inspiring such a wonderfully random fic. May the spork be with you :D)

Potato Mashers and Sporks
By Silver Sailor Ganymede

"Oh wow, they have a alien contancting device thing!" Osaka gasped one morning as they were setting up for cookery class. She had been searching through the draws when she had found something of interest to her.

"Um, Osaka, that's a potato masher," Chiyo replied, sweatdropping.

"Ah didn't know aliens eat potatoes," Osaka said, sounding genuinly confused. "But ah wanna see whether this works."

She held up the potato masher and began waving it around in the air and making strange, unintelligable noises.

"What's Osaka doing?" Tomo, who was behind Chiyo and Osaka, asked.

"Ah'm trying to contact the aliens," Osaka replied.

"No wonder you haven't had any success!" Tomo mock chided her. "You should use one of these!" She reached into her pocket and…

"Tomo, why have you got a spork in your pocket?" Chiyo asked.

"Because it's a spork!" Tomo grinned. She beagn waving around the spork at the same time Osaka waved around the potato masher, both of them making strange, alien noises.

Chiyo looked terrified; how was she going to survive cookery with these two?


At the end of the lesson Chiyo emerged looking as though she'd been scarred for life; even worse than by Yukari-sensei's driving, if possible.

Tomo and Osaka, meanwhile, were walking around as though nothing unusual had happened that lesson when suddenly Tomo spoke.

"You know what, Osaka?"

"What?"

"I think you may have some sort of point about the potato masher… and cookery class in general."

"Really?"

"Yeah, only an alien would give us detention for trying to contact aliens; she must obviosuly not want other aliens to discover this planet."

"Other aliens not meaning you and me?" Osaka asked.

"Yep."

"Aw, well fugeddahboudit then," Osaka sighed. "Ah always wanted to be an alien."