Author's Note: I kindly ask those who are not House/Cameron fans to refrain from leaving comments that attack this pairing. You are welcome to criticize my writing. But to criticize the couple, in general, is a little disrespectful – to me and to those who read House/Cameron stories. Thanks. Anyways, on with the show. (More reflection than plot.) Thanks for those who have continued reading this (and leaving reviews). I really do appreciate it! And to as a reward, it's two chapters a row!
House walked into work with a huge grin on his face. Cameron had indeed kept her promise of dressing up as a Catholic school girl then followed it with other fantasies of his over the next few nights. Yes, House was enjoying the fact that they were roommates more and more.
It wasn't just the sex that he appreciated – though, that alone made him one happy camper. He secretly enjoyed watching her go through her little morning rituals: brushing her teeth, putting on lipstick, combing her hair – even watching her put on her socks made him smile like an idiot. Living with Cameron was turning him into a bit of a sap; but oddly enough, it didn't disturb him as much as it should.
At times, she'd catch him staring at her with a sort of wonder, and she'd give him a confused look and ask, "What?" But House always responded with a shake of his head, not yet able to put into her the words the way she made him feel. He hadn't felt this, well, happy in a long, long time – if he ever did at all. For the life of him, he couldn't recall if Stacy had made him feel like this; and honestly, he doubted it.
She made the pain in his leg dull into the back of his mind, so that the Vicodin no longer called to him. She arranged his clothes, so that he always wore something she liked on him. She insisted on him teaching her how to play piano, so that one day they would be able to play duets. But most of all, she never stopped loving him, so that he didn't have to be afraid of chasing her away or loving her in return.
I think I'm going to have to marry her, House thought idly as he got into his chair – then froze. Where did that come from? House asked himself. He had been so caught up in his daydreaming about Cameron that somehow that idea snuck its way into his head. House was not the marrying kind. He had seen his parents' marriage, and it was a poor example. Even Wilson was proof that marriage was a flawed and almost meaningless convention. No, House did not believe in marriage. But Cameron did.
He could imagine her in a flowing white dress, walking down the aisle towards him with her face hidden behind a veil. A veil he'd gently pull back so that he could kiss her lips when they became man and wife. House inadvertently started fiddling with the ring finger on his left hand, feeling the phantom weight of a wedding ring.
It was too soon to think about this. Sure, she'd been working for him for years; but they had barely gotten together. In fact, she'd just moved in. And if his relationship to Stacy had taught him anything, it was to take things slow. But Cameron made him want to move fast and to go beyond any relationship he'd ever had. The woman had him thinking about weddings, for goodness sakes. The last time he'd seen a wedding dress, it'd been on some buxom babe with really heavy makeup in a badly acted porn movie. And this new vision of a wedding dress was a far cry from that.
However, House couldn't shake the image of Cameron in a white wedding dress from his mind. It was seriously freaking him out. House didn't doubt that she would marry him – some day. But deep down, he would always be the slightest bit afraid that it was because she saw him as some type of charity case. He had accused her of such on their "first date," and it still rung true for him. She'd married her first husband even when she knew he was dying. And no matter how badly House wanted to believe that it had been out of love, he couldn't help but be suspicious that it had been something else – something like her need to fix those who were damaged. Because regardless of the way House presented himself, he was uncharacteristically vulnerable when it came to relationships. And with Cameron, he often felt like he was baring his heart and soul – something he rarely (if ever) did with anyone else. And lucky for him, Cameron had repaid in kind, opening herself up to him in ways that made him feel like it was safe to do so.
House picked up the ball from his desk and started tossing it up into the air then catching it. He repeated this pattern as he contemplated what married life would be like with Cameron – not that he was seriously considering it. No, it was just him figuring out a puzzle – the most confusing puzzle of all: human relationships.
For one, he could crack jokes about her being a House as well and get some kind of kick from people confusing themselves over which House they were getting: the nice, sweet, female one or the misanthropic, sarcastic, male one. That would please him to no end, regardless of how juvenile it was.
There was also the side benefit of his mother not nagging him to settle down anymore. Although he didn't really show it, he deeply cared about his mother. And he knew that his mother would approve of his marrying Cameron without a doubt. They were alike in a way – being with men that didn't show their emotions often. Yes, House was sure that the two of them would get along just fine.
And on top of all that was House's inexplicable desire to make their relationship official. To have it recorded on paper that she was his. To have other men look at her finger and see his ring on her finger – even if the ring was picked out with some help from Wilson. Call it some outdated sense of male pride or whatever you wanted to call it, but House wanted something to shove in other people's faces that said, "Look here. She's mine, and you can't have her." He knew it was childish, but he was a childish man at times. He didn't like sharing; and he wasn't blind. He had seen the way other men had looked at her (even a few women, but he didn't mind those appreciative glances as much) – even Chase still looked at her that way sometimes. Although he knew nothing would come of it and that Cameron often didn't notice herself, it still riled him up sometimes.
No, House thought to himself. I'm not seriously considering marrying Cameron. Though in his heart, House knew otherwise.