Harry Potter/Pirates of
the Caribbean cross-over
Lord Voldemort versus Jack Sparrow! (Total crack!)
"Why won't you just die?" Lord Voldemort hissed as he threw another deadly curse in Jack Sparrow's general direction.
Jack stood perfectly straight not even bothering to dodge the green killing curse. He grinned arrogantly when the magic had no effect on him what-so-ever.
"I don't understand! Only Harry Potter can survive my attacks!" Lord Voldemort wailed in despair flinging his wand to the ground in disgust and stomping on it.
"Ah, but you have forgotten one very important thing mate," Jack interrupted the great dark wizard's temper tantrum. Lord Voldemort looked at him, a dour expression on his reptilian face. Jack began to weave a cursed Aztec golden coin between his fingers. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow! Savvy?"
Lord Voldemort snatched up his wand and flew towards the pirate, intent on strangling him at least to the point where he could no longer speak. "I may not be able to kill you but I can shut you up!"
The two tumbled in the cave, rolling into an area where moonlight was cast to the floor. Lord Voldemort quickly removed his hands from Sparrow's neck and rose to his feet in disgust. "You're an ugly skeleton!"
Jack frowned, reaching up to touch his boney face. "I'm not ugly," he countered. "At least I don't have a snake nose!"
Voldemort's eyes grew wide at the insult. "How dare you, you insult me you muggle! I'll kill you!" He raised his wand and began shouting off more curses.
Jack sighed, "Are we back to the killing me part? I thought we might call it a night and enjoy a bottle of Rum."
Lord Voldemort lowered his wand. "Rum?"
Jack's eyes grew bright and misty at the thought of his long time love, Rum. "Yes, it's the most amazing thing in the world."
"Better than world domination?" Voldemort asked skeptically.
Jack picked himself off the cold stone floor of the cave and slung his arm around Voldemort's shoulder. "Definitely."