I'll never understand where the phrase 'Cold Feet' came from, especially when used in relation to grooms.
If anything, I'm uncomfortably warm.
Stupid wool suit that doesn't breathe.
And this stupid bow tie is strangling me.
Did Carson really have to tie it so tightly that it's cutting off the circulation to my brain? Hmm? My brain is my biggest asset, starving it of oxygen is not a good thing.
Yes, before you ask, we're back on speaking terms. Me and Carson. Unbelievable, isn't it? You'd think that after he bashed my face in (my sinuses still make this kind of wheezy noise when I take a deep breath in) that we'd never speak to each other again.
Of course, things are different here on Atlantis. You come to realize that the few friends you do have, you need to try and keep.
Plus, I had the flu. I couldn't avoid the infirmary anymore.
It was a win-win scenario.
So now, here I am, waiting at the foot of the ramp that leads up to the Stargate, Carson to my left as my best man, Lieutenant April across from me as Laura's maid of honor, and Elizabeth between, ready and waiting to officiate.
Oh, God. There she is.
In her white wedding gown, she's so...so...
Pretty? Magnificent? Beautiful? Amazing? Incredible? I can keep going if you want...
All of the above. None of the above. Everything in between.
Indescribable, that's what she is. No thesaurus in the world holds enough adjectives to depict her properly.
Uh oh. Hyperventilating.
"Hy-hyper-paper bag-Cars-paaaaper ba-"
Wheeze, wheeze, wheeze.
Oh good. A non-turkey club smelling paper bag.
Breath in. Breath out.
How the hell did I get this lucky? How did it come to be me that she's coming down the aisle towards, and not someone more deserving?
Breath in. Breath out.
You're plenty deserving she-
Oh, no I'm not. No, I'm most definitely not. I don't deserve her. I know it. She knows it. Everyone knows it.
And yet, there she is. Walking down the aisle, towards me, looking like I don't know what, Sheppard at her side and-
I don't like the way he keeps glancing at her.
Could they move any slower? Each step she takes seems to make her even further away.
Oh..well, that could be the oxygen depravation making me hallucinate. Of course.
She's finally here.
Sheppard kissed her on the cheek!
Glare at him.
Back off pal, in a few minutes she'll be mine for life.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Rodney McKay and Laura Cadman."
She's smiling that luminous smile of hers. The one that, for some reason, makes my toes all tingly.
Hurry up, would you, Elizabeth? I want to be married already!
"Do you, Rod-"
Oops. Seemed to have jumped the gun a bit there. I can't help it, I'm excited!
"So do I."
Ah ha! So is she! She's blushing prettily, hazel eyes sparkling at me.
"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife."
Husband and Wife, Rodney and Laura, Husband and Wife, Husband and Wife.
"You may kiss the bride."
Oh may I? Gee, I was actually going to ask for permission.
Kiss my bride.
Mine. Mine. Mine. Allllll mine.
Pull away reluctantly.
"Ladies and Gentleman, it is my pleasure to present, Doctor Rodney and Mrs. Laura McKay."
The crowd cheers.
She's smiling at everyone.
God, I want to kiss her again.
And not stop until I die from oxygen deprivation.
There'll be plenty of time for that later.
Time for the reception now.
Which goes by far too slowly for my liking.
Do I really have to go over here and let her talk with Jamie April? Do I have to stand here and make pleasant conversation with Carson right now? Can't I go stick to her side like a leech? Please?
She is mine now after all. It should be my prerogative.
Uh huh, and you're hers...
I belong to no one...that I'll ever admit to anyway.
But just between you and I...
All of me, why not take all of me, can't you see, I'm no good without you?
That's an old joke. A fitting joke, considering our history, but an old one regardless.
Not that I mind.
Oh? Time for the toast already?
And here I was enjoying listening to Carson prattle about the engagement ring he got for April. So what if it's a sheep sheerer heirloom?
It's still no-where near as nice as the one I got for My Laura.
Yes. My Laura. For now, and for always.
Okay. Toast time.
Weir's being maternal. Sheppard's being an ass. Carson's being...ugh..sweet.
She's clutching my hand and smiling that hundred watt smile.
Is she trying to crush all the bones in my hand? I need those, you know!
Shut up, you don't mind.
You're right. I don't.
Raise my glass and-
She's managed to spill champagne on her dress.
Never been such a pretty stain. This time, I know I'm to blame for all her wardrobe related accidents of the past few months.
I'll gladly take the blame for that from now on.
A/N: As with its predecessor, this story contained numerous pop culture references. They were from: The Princess Bride, Ghostbusters, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Ramones, the Lone Gunmen, and the film, as well as the song, All of Me.
"I'm Not!/And Neither Am I!" may be over, but my Laura/Rodney pairing gets on last hurrah in the story "Waking." It stands alone, definitely, but is also a wonderful companion piece. Thanks again, you guys, for making my welcome to this fandom so very, very warm and being all around great people. :D