Content Warnings: WINCEST.
Disclaimer: They are not mine nor is Supernatural. I wish they were, cuz oh the fun i'd have!
If you don't like Slash, then don't read it!
All feedback is loved and welcome!
Thanks to skycandygirl for being my beta!
This is a oneshot that I wrote at 1am last night. So I hope you like it!
Dean sits across the table from him, he's on his what, his fourth, fifth beer? And Sam knows, just knows, he's gonna pick up some bastard any second now. They've been here longer than it usually takes him. And yes, there it is. A tall brunette, wearing a black shirt and black jeans.
He looks about 19, 20? Dean's type anyway. And Dean as predicted, rises up. Empties his bottle and places it onto the table with a thunk.
He winks at Sam and follows the guy into the bathroom. The wink. Yeah Sam knows what that wink means. It means 'catch you back at the room, while I get blown.' Or 'I'm gonna be busy pounding that kids ass, have fun.' Or even 'Have another drink or so, whatever, i'm gonna get me some tonight.'
So Sam sits and sips on his beer. He Waits. Five minutes pass, He sits sips and waits. Ten minutes. He huffs and puffs, sits, sips and waits. Fifteen minutes go by. His sips and his bottle is empty, he sits and waits. Twenty minutes and he's had enough. He's had enough of Dean leaving him sitting here everytime. Leaving him to get blown, leaving him to fuck some guy. Had. Enough.
So he gets up and slams his bottle down on the table, making it rock. He leaves some money plus a tip and finds himself heading for the bathroom. He stops in front of the door and slowly opens it a little. He can hear the noises clear as day coming from inside. He hears the words Dean says as he fucks the guy hard and rough. Now he's really had enough. He turns away from the door with tears in his eyes. He doesn't remember walking back to their room from the bar. He doesn't remember unlocking the door. But he remembers the noises and the words. He remembers the images his mind is coming up with. He remembers stuffing his belongings into his bags. He remembers touching Dean's pillow as his heart breaks. He remembers leaving the laptop behind. He doesn't want it. It has too much Dean on and in it.
All this he remembers, as he walks down the long dark road.
"I hate him. I hate him! I HATE HIM!" He shouts. He kicks a stone and the rage leaves him. "I love him, oh god how I love him." He sinks to his knees, his body shaking with sobs. "He'll hate me. He'll hate me if he knows how I feel for him. I can't do this anymore, I can't watch and wait while he lets some freak suck him, some freak let him duck his ass." His hands are flat on the ground as he struggles to breath. "I'm the freak. I'm the one who wants to suck him, to let him fuck me." It begins to rain heavily. He lets it wash over him, soaking him to the skin.
Dean walks out of the bar with a shit eating grin on his face. His body is buzzing as he swaggers to the room. He unlocks the door, expecting to see the lump in the bed of his brother. There isn't any lump. He looks at the bathroom, expecting to see a light emitting from under the door.
There isn't any light. Something in his gut is stirring, a bad feeling wells up inside. Something makes him look for Sam's bags. They aren't there.
"Oh shit!" Dean panics, he has no idea why his brother has decided to leave him. Was it something he said? Was it something he did? But try as he might, he can't remember anything he has done in the last 24 hours, that would make him leave. Leave without a word, a note, nothing. He checks his phone for a message, for a sign. Nothing.
Dean races outside, he scans the area, no Sam. He throws the car door open and starts her up. He spits grit from his tires as he speeds out of the car park. "Okay, left or right? Which way would he go?" The rain starts to fall heavily on the windscreen, he turns on the wipers as he frowns. "Shit Sam, you're gonna get soaked. What are you thinking? Why are you leaving me again?"
He choses left and drives down through the dark, lights on full, looking for the figure of his brother.
Sam is still on his knees sobbing, when he hears a car approaching. It's too dark to see it, just the lights full and bright. But he knows, he knows it's Dean. And then he panics. He stands up and starts to run. His brain is screaming at him, 'you can't out run the Impala! He's gonna catch you. You are so screwed. You should have took the right road!'
Dean spots the figure up ahead. Sam. It's his Sam. And why the fuck is he running? He can't out run him and his baby! He floors it and overtakes Sam, once in front he brakes and spins the car around. Then he's out and running, running towards his brother.
'Shit! Oh shit' Sam's brain shouts. But he can't stop, he's going to fast and Dean is there, right there. Grabbing him, shaking him. Scared, angry and near to tears. He can't hear what he's saying. The blood rushing through him is too loud. His body is draining and completely soaked to the bone. Dean is still talking to him in silence, as he drags Sam to the car, throws the passenger door open and puts him inside.
Sam sits there numbly as his bags are thrown in the back. He can't move, he can't speak. He's frozen in more ways than one. Dean is looking at him in concern. He see's from the corner of his eyes, Dean wiping his own. Dean is crying. 'I'm making Dean cry! Don't cry Dean. I'm the freak. I'm the one going to hell. Please don't cry.' His mind is saying, but no words are uttered from his lips.
The car is moving again, as fast as it came. Then they are parking outside their room. Dean has the door open, his bags are thrown in hapazardly through the door. Then Dean is there by his side, pulling him out of the car.
"I've got ya', come on, lean on me." Dean's words are soft and gentle. "You're gonna catch your death if we don't get you out of this wet clothes. What were you thinking going out in this?" All Sam can do is blink. "You're scaring me Sammy. Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. I can't fix it if you don't tell me." Silence and Dean walks him into the bathroom. He switches on the shower and removes sam's clothes. Sam's brain thaws out and reality begins to hit him.
"I...I..." Then he bursts into tears and Dean pulls him into a hug. Soaking his clothes and he holds Sam tight, one hand behins Sam's neck, the other on his back. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry!"
"What for kiddo? Tell me what's wrong."
"I can't, you'll hate me." A fresh set of tears emerge.
"Oh Sammy, I could never do that. You're my brother dude. I love you. No matter what, I love you."
"Not this time. I'm sick, I'm evil. I'm a walking sin. I'm going to hell!"
"Dude! You're not making any sense here. If anyone's going to hell here, then it's me!"
"NO! No you're not Dean! I am! I AM!" Sam forced himself away from Dean. Anger in his eyes and his fists clenched shut. "I AM DEAN!"
He begins to pound Dean's chest. "Hit me! Punch me. Make me bleed! I deserve it!"
"Sammy! Cut it out! Stop it! SAM!" Dean grabbed the flying hands and forced them behind Sam's back. He held them tightly, as he closed the gap between them. Pushing Sam backwards against the tiled wall. His chest pinned his younger brother as he spoke to him.
"There is NOTHING on the earth, that you could do, that would make me hurt you. Ok? Nothing! I've always got your back little bro'. Always!"
"Oh God Dean!" Sam's head fell forward as Sam leant into his brother,
his body shaking against Dean's as he cried.
"Shhhh. Sammy. It's ok. Just tell me. Tell me what's wrong."
"I love you." Sam whispered.
"I know and I love you too."
"No. I love you."
"Yeah I got it Sam. You love me."
"No Dean! I LOVE YOU!" Sam shouted making Dean frown, clearly not getting what Sam meant. "I. Love. You!"
Dean's eyes widened as he finally understood those three words. "Oh!" Was all he could say. He stepped back away from Sam.
"Dean? Say something. Anything."
"I...You...Oh!" Dean began to breathe very hard and he stumbled out of the bathroom. Sam hung his head. His brother hated him. He stood under the cooling water as he closed his eyes. He had just lost his brother.
"Here, put these on." Sam opened his eyes. Dean was standing there, holding some clothes and a towel. "I'll be out there." Then he turned and left the room. Sam was confused. There wasn't a sign of hatred in his brother's eyes. Just shock.
"Maybe he won't hate me? Maybe...maybe he'll just make me leave." Sam dried himself off and got dressed slowly.
Facing Dean was harder now than before.
Dean was pacing. 'What the fuck?' He thought. 'How did this happen? It's my fault. I've done this. All that screwing around. It's messed him up. Oh God what have I done! He thinks I hate him! ME? Hate HIM? He should be hating ME!' Dean was biting his nails as he paced. He was petrified of what was going to happen, when Sam came out of the bathroom. 'He actually thought I'd hurt him! Oh shit!' The light went out as the door opened. Sam come out in the sweats and t-shirt, Dean had given him. His head was down as he shuffled out. His hands wringing in fear of Dean.
"Sammy? Sammy, it's ok. Just sit down, please."
Sam glanced up briefly at Dean, then quickly sat on the edge of his own bed. He couldn't, or wouldn't look at Dean. His hands were in his lap and he was extremely nervous. Sam jumped as Dean sat opposite him and leaned forward. As Dean went to touch his face, he flinched.
"I'm not gonna hurt you Sammy. I'd never hurt you. Please look at me." Sam complied and his eyes were full of threatening tears. "So, you love me huh?" Sam nodded. "How long have you felt this way?"
"Just before I left for Stanford." He said quietly.
"Wait, is that why you left? Because of how you felt for me?" Sam just nodded. "Shit Sam. Just. Shit!"
"What for? You haven't done anything wrong."
"But I love you! That's wrong! I'm you're brother!"
"No! What's wrong is this is all my fault! All of it. I've done this to you. God damn it! Making you cover for me, when i've gone out fucking around with guys. Making you lie for me to Dad. Telling you about it when you asked me questions. 'What's it like Dean? Is it better than girls Dean?' God I've been so stupid!"
"No! No Dean! It's not you're fault!"
"Maybe you're right. Maybe you'd be better off without me."
"I'll drive you to the bus station in the morning. Once back at school, you'll forget about me, move on with your life, your normal apple pie life."
"I don't want a normal apple pie life Dean! I want you. I want to stay with you!"
"I'm ruining you Sam! Don't you get it! I'm sick! I'm the one going to hell! I'm the one you wants his little brother, naked and beneath him. I'm the one who wants you on your knees and sucking my cock. Me!"
"So YOU are going back to Stanford, away from your perverted and sick brother. The brother making you have these feelings for me. The brother who's so fucking in love with you, that he has to fuck every guy he see's. Every guy that looks like you, just to stop the want for you!"
"You love me?"
"So run for the hills little brother. Cuz this wolf doesn't just bite!" Dean continues to rant, ignoring Sam.
"You want me?"
"This wolf will fuck you so hard into the ground, you'll end up in Australia!"
"Dean!" Sam shouts, this gets Dean's attention. When Dean looks at him, Sam grabs his face and kisses him. A hard and deep kiss that rattles Dean's bones. What feels like an eternity, only actually lasts a minute. Sam pulls away, staring into the stunned eyes of his brother.
"Sammy?" Dean squeaks.
"While I was in college, before Jessica, I went out with this guy." Sam began. "It just confirmed that I was bi. That I liked guys as well as girls. So it wasn't you Dean that made me this way. You just. You just awakened it in me."
"..." Dean opened his mouth, but noting came out. Sam chuckled.
"Yeah, so, well." Sam stood up. "Hi, my name is Sam Winchester and I am bisexual. And I am in love with my brother."
Dean was in a state of shock. His brother has just told him he was bi and had been with a guy in college. At this moment he didn't know which way was up. He stood up and looked right in his brother's eyes.
"Hi, my name is Dean Winchester. I'm also bisexual and is in love with my brother." Then he smiled and Sam knew they were ok. "So, do I get a hug now and a medal or a badge or something?" Dean joked.
"Come here!" Sam pulled his brother into a hug. "So, you over this 'blame Dean' now?"
"Yeah, you over this 'blame Sammy' now?"
"Yeah and the name is Sam!"
"So, Sam, why don't you get down on your knees and suck my cock!"
"What?" Sam was stunned.
Dean closed his eyes as he rocked with laughter. "You should have seen your face dude! Classic!" He howled. Sam's eyes glared at Dean.
"B...B..Bitch!" Dean just managed to say in between his laughter. Then he stopped as hands grabbed his arms and threw him backwards on the bed.
"Sam? Sammy? What ya' doing?" Sam unfastened Dean's belt.
"Just following orders!" Sam popped the fly open.
"Aww Sammy, come on now. I was just kidding." Sam yanked the pants and boxers down and off in one go.
"Oh no Dean. You asked for it."
"Sam. Sam!" Sam grabbed the base of the cock with his right hand.
"Shut up Dean!" Sam took the cock into his mouth, silencing Dean. He sucked on the member, hard and fast. Dean's eyes rolled to the back of his head. His hands fisted the sheets as a long loud moan escaped form his lips. Sam's left hand rolled the balls, making Dean arch up off the bed.
His groaning intensified and the cock was taken deeper and deeper, touching the back of Sam's throat.
"Oh fuck Sam! Yeah! Like that! Oh just fucking like that!"
Sam moved his right hand up to Dean's face. He pushed three fingers in the wet, hot mouth. Dean sucked them throughly, enjoying them too much. Sam withdrew them, moved them back down to his balls, trailing the saliva over them.
"Oh Sammy, Sammy, Sammy!"
Sam grinned as he sucked him harder, his fingers dragged down below the sac and found the tight pucker of his ass. He plunged a finger in.
Dean yelled as Sam found his prostate, he continued to stab at it ferociously. Then Dean was screaming, he was coming hard and fast. He filled Sam's mouth with his seed and Sam swallowed it all hungrily.
"Are we gonna have a problem with this?" Sam asked as he crawled up next to Dean, kissing his neck.
"You don't have a problem with this do you?" Sam licked and nipped at the soft flesh.
"Cuz if you do, then you won't be able to...Fuck me!" Dean shivered at the thought of penetrating him. "Do you have a problem with us?"
"No." Dean choked out.
"Good. You are all mine Dean. No one else get's any of this, you got that. I've had enough of it. No more sucks or fucks with anyone else but me."
"Now go to sleep."