Summary: AU. And it wasn't part of the plan to take off the night before the wedding, but he called and you ran because you missed him and it was wrong. Rory and Jess. Oneshot.
Disclaimer: No, I don't own them. Bummer, right?
A/N: I discovered this in my documents folder today. It was unfinished and fairly odd, but I vaguely recalled the concept behind it so I decided to finish and post. Let me know what you think – and for anyone who's wondering, it's supposed to be a little confusing. Portions of this are left up to interpretation, so I truly hope you enjoy.
You think this is the beginning of something new, but it's not. You've been here before, in his arms, his lips on yours, and it feels so fresh but it's familiar, too. And this isn't what your mother wanted, isn't what you had in your plan.
This isn't in the list you made.
And it wasn't part of the plan to take off the night before the wedding, but he called and you ran because you missed him and it was wrong. All of it. Logan, you, your job, LoganandRoryHuntzberger.
So you left for New York, because he couldn't resist his home for that long, and it's been three years since you last saw him but his eyes are still as warm as chocolate and you still get chills from his touch. You tell him you never want to leave him again and he looks sad but you're not sure why.
Maybe because you like to break your promises.
Or maybe because he always breaks his.
When he kisses you again, it is teasing. Light, wispy, the barest brush of his tongue against yours, and fuck but this is not how you remember it. He's stronger now, but no harder than before, and his voice is just as gravelly as it was when you first met.
It still makes heat pool in your stomach.
And now that feeling, that tingling between your thighs isn't scary but its welcomed. Logan can't make you feel like this and you're supposed to marry him in an hour. But he's in Connecticut and you are here, standing in the middle of an apartment complex lobby, and Jess is holding you and it's okay.
But you're willing to lie to yourself if you can keep feeling this way, so when you pull away from him and your cell phone rings, you throw it in the trash and forget it all because you can.
His bed is comfortable, and you get too much amusement out of the fact that he has memory foam under his sheets. Jess rolls his eyes and you smile brightly, falling into the old routine of bait, switch, and book debates. He asks you why you're really here and you shrug your shoulders, your smile suddenly gone.
You don't know.
And you don't really understand why you have to.
Stars Hollow seems like its miles away, and technically it is but you can't remember it anymore. It's been three weeks – that's less than a month – and already you find yourself at a loss without his eyes.
It's been three years since you last saw him.
And you broke his heart because you didn't know what else to do. He kissed you and you kissed him back, and then you remembered that you couldn't do that, so you ran out of his life and never returned.
Until it was convenient for you to leave and go back to him.
Until forever was too much to handle.
Jess is hesitant to touch you and you don't get why, but when his hands are on you it doesn't matter anymore. He isn't Logan and he won't marry you, but forever with him doesn't seem so scary.
When you tell him as much he remains silent, and it is then that you realize why this is different.
Because you are, and he can't touch someone he doesn't even know.
You try to change, but he doesn't know how to help. Hours are spent in his bed, under dirty sheets, and you're soaked in his sweat and you never want to be clean again. But it's you and him and you know this won't end happily.
He doesn't like fairytales and he never has.
You think you kind of hate him for that.
The first fight you have ends with you pressed up against the wall, your legs around his waist and his tongue on your neck. If there is one thing you can say for yourself, it's that you've never let Logan touch you like this.
Logan never let you feel this much passion.
Your eyes close and your head rocks back against the wall, and then a zipper cracks open in between the harsh, audible breaths and moans that are escaping your throat and you feel like you'll never see anything again.
Welcome to Stars Hollow.
For some reason you feel like the sign shouldn't exist anymore, like the town should be abandoned and ghostlike because of your absence. Images flash behind your eyelids when they flutter shut, and you have to inhale, exhale, breathe seven times before you can open them again.
You're driving on the wrong side of the road when you do and you're glad that commuter traffic is non-existent here.
There are no discarded cotton candy wrappers fluttering along the broken, cracked cement. The cement isn't actually cracked and there's a festival in the town square, but you want this to be a run-down carnival so you park the car and you watch.
And you don't bother to check in with your mother before you leave.
You don't really want to be bound to this town.
Jess isn't there when you return to the apartment that night, and you think you should be surprised but you really truly aren't. You left first, took off while he was in the shower, and you think you want this to end well but there's a voice in your head claiming that it won't.
You leave the door open when you walk into the living room and the scent of smoke fills the apartment. While you reprimand him for smoking in the house, the scent comforts you right now so you let it penetrate the air.
It's probably you. When you showed up here you made him swear he would never let anyone touch you but him, and now you're leaving the door open in a city filled with looters and rapists and loons.
The second fight is based on your carelessness. A dish breaks and you assume it will be cleaned up; he comes home to find the door open with you lying in your underwear on the bed. He tells you he isn't Logan, he isn't going to clean up your messes, and you start laughing because you don't know what else to do.
No happily ever after. Not quite a shocker since you didn't begin with a once upon a time, but you want your Dodger to love you the way you love him. And for once he doesn't break his promise – you do, this time – because that's really the only way this can happen.
You are not the second half of an epic love story.
Of course, you wanted to think you were when you showed up here four months ago, but now you're driving home – oh, what a funny concept – and you know you were delusional.
You have been since you said yes.
The ring is at the bottom of the Hudson and your wedding dress is in shreds in a dumpster somewhere. Probably Washington Square Park, but you don't really care anymore. You don't want it anymore so there's no point in remembering where it went.
Logan. Lorelai. Luke. Je—no.
You are not his girl and you don't want to be. You don't, you don't, you don't, you're—
Third time's a charm, that's what your mother said. She had tears in her eyes and so did you, but you got in the car and drove here anyway. He answers the door in boxers and a t-shirt, hair sticking up in every direction possible, and you start to explain but you don't know what you're saying.
Your tongue feels thick, too thick to speak.
But then Jess smirks at you and you feel a weight lift from the air. When he leans against the doorframe you choke out a laugh through tears you don't know you've been shedding, and he pulls you into his arms while you promise to be better.
And you blush when he makes a dirty comment.
So you're still not a princess and he's definitely not a prince, but fairytales are overrated and you're tired of hating him for hating them. Once upon a time, a boy broke your heart…