Know Your Stars Naruto

Summary: If you've ever read any other Know Your Stars fanfiction or seen the skit Know Your Stars you'll know what this story is about. For those of you who don't know, Know Your Stars is a skit on All That which gives out false information on the characters of the show.

Dedication: Titi and Tom who are getting me hooked on Naruto

Disclaimer: That's not a place for dogs! That's a mine field!

Victim One: Uzumaki Naruto

Naruto was busy practicing his ninja centerfold jujitsu when he came upon a door which was cracked open. Being the curious person he is Naruto wandered into the room and sat in a chair that just happened to be on a stage under a bright light.

"Know your stars! Know your stars! Know your stars Uzumaki Naruto!" A voice suddenly declares making Naruto jump three feet into the air.

Appropriately startled Naruto begins to look around the room for the location of the voice. "Sasuke is that you?"

"Do I sound like I could be Sasuke?" The voice demands insulted that someone thought she was a he. "Uzumaki Naruto he is really an escapee from a federal prison and that is why he has an orange jumpsuit!"

"I'm only twelve how could I have been in federal prison?"

"You would be amazed." The voice replies. "Uzumaki Naruto who escaped from federal prison- he is the love child of Hongo Yui and Nakago from Fushigi Yugi."

"I did not escape from federal prison!"

A girl with short blonde hair and blue eyes and a man with blonde mullet type hair and blue eyes burst in from separate doors.

"Yui san you had a child?" the man asks in an accusatory tone.

"I never even slept with you!What anidiot!" The blonde girl shoots back. "How the hell could I have had your child?"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Fighting in front of the child." The voice scolds. "No wonder you were the villains."

"Hey! I was tricked by that sadist!" Yui points at Nakago when she says this.

Nakago tries to look hurt. "Who are you calling a sadist?"

"Oh I don't know maybe the guy who ripped a bird's head off?"

"Uh did I say love child? I meant hate child." The voice corrects herself.

"Please don't tell me that these two are my parents!" Naruto pleads.

"We are not your parents" Yui and Nakago say in unison.

"Thank Kami!"

"Uzumaki Naruto who escaped from a federal prison and is the love child of two Fushigi Yugi villains he really hates ramen!" The voice announces

"What! That is so not true! Believe it!" Naruto shouts angrily. " I love ramen!"

"Okay. Uzumaki Naruto- he wants to marry ramen."

"You can do that?" Naruto gets an image in his head of him marrying a cup of instant ramen.

"No! You can't really do that."

"Well don't tease me like that!"

The voice sighs and tries to think. Then a very odd idea pops into her head. "Uzumaki Naruto who escaped from a federal prison."

"Stop saying that!" Naruto shouts angrily.

"Will you shut up and let me finish?" The voice growls.


"Uzumaki Naruto, he is in love with Yamanaka Ino because her hair is made out of ramen."

Naruto begins to drool and his eyes begin to glaze over. "Is that true?"

The voice shrugs even though you can't see her doing that. "You know what? I have no idea."

"But it could be true."

"Yes what are you getting at?"

"I have to go find Ino!" Naruto jumps out of the chair and runs off to find the soon to be very unfortunate Yamanaka Ino.

The voice shakes her head (just picture it okay?) "And now you know Naruto the twelve year old who escaped from a federal prison."

The end

Well this ends the first chapter of my newest story. I hope everyone liked it. The next chapter will be about Sakura so if anyone has any ideas please share them. I will give credit.