Title: Lucas's Pain
One Tree Hill
Character: Lucas Scott
Theme set: Alpha
Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill.
Sometimes when I speak, I feel like no one is listening.
Oh, how I long to just reach out and touch what seems to be just out of my reach.
I keep hearing that the memory is the first to go, but I believe it leaves long after the pain stops.
The clouds always remind me that like vanilla ice cream, everything under the sun melts and fades way.
Like is not always like a box of chocolates, sometimes it a big bowl of nothingness.
Ways and Means
I keep trying to live my life by ways and means that are beyond my control.
I used to have a belief in good people, but that died with Keith.
Why does happiness fade and evil linger?
Why is light sometimes so full of luminance and other times, there is no light?
Is love some kind of ornament you show off until it breaks?
Coup de foudre (Lightning Blow)
Is the earth just a plot of land waiting for the big final Coup de foudre?
Are we just people trying to get into the archway of Heaven anyway we can, no matter who we hurt?
Is fate something for fools or dreamers to believe in or is it real?
Everything in this world has a pulse, everything has breathe and life, except Keith.
I wrote Brooke an apology letter today and put it an envelope on her desk.
I feel so cold, like I'm in a freezer; the wind is so cold.
I need to go home; my mom needs me to go home.
However, I can't drive, I'm drunk, need to call someone.
Need to put my happy mask back on and call Haley to come get me.
I placed a rose on Keith's gravesite today, one single solitary rose.
Keith and my mom were so happy; the two of them were planning on getting married.
Keith had a chance for a fresh start in North Carolina, but he came back for Dan.
Then Dan bribed me to move out of my mom's and in with him, how do you use your own son's health to hurt someone else?
I made a huge error in judgment with Peyton the other night and Brooke hates me now.
I haven't had a real appetite in days; I don't even remember my last meal.
I'm trying to refrain myself from calling Peyton, but right now I need her.
My family, what there is of one anyway, is falling apart.
It is impossible for any of us to truly grieve the loss of Keith; no one truly believes he's dead.
Life is so short; we are all here for such a short time and then like a vapor, we're gone.
The last time I saw Keith before he was murdered, he offered me tea and advice on girls; advice I wish I had listened to.
I think it's time I call Haley and get ready for a cold hard dose of medicine.
I never understood the difference between a butterfly and a moth, except like Dan and Keith, one flourishes and one doesn't.
Keith was the perfect father to me and he didn't have to be.
If you give a man enough rope, he'll find away to hang himself; I proved that.
The wind is picking up and slapping me in the face; I wish Keith were here instead.
I'm at a crossroads in my life; do I go after Brooke or go to Peyton?
This is going to be one very long summer no matter what I decide.
When I was a kid, Keith would give me candy if I fell off my bike; no amount of candy is going to fix this wounded soul of mine.
I keep thinking of the last photograph I took of Keith and my mom, they were so happy, so in love.
Last night I saw mom crying while she was washing dishes, she found Keith's favorite spoon.
Sometimes you miss the forest for the trees; maybe that's why I've always missed out on being with Peyton.
I don't like the man I've become, can't stand looking at myself in the mirror.
I'm all smoke and mirrors, no one but my mom and Keith ever knew the real me.
Will the sun ever shine again?
I feel like a balloon someone popped and let go of.
I feel like there is a vine wrapped around my legs and stopping me from moving.
A butterfly lands on my hand and I watch as it flies away.
I feel like an old pair of gloves that someone threw out with the trash; I've always felt like that though, nothing new there.
I feel the venom rising up in me; it would be the blood of Dan coursing through my veins mixed with the alcohol.
I can not remain in One Tree Hill; there is nothing left for me here. /lj-cut