Tittle: Light bulb
Character(s): Axel and Demyx
Warnings: Axle's mouth (of course) and the humiliation of Nobodies. A bit of boys love as well.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts and make no profit from its name and characters.
A/N: Because I should never be allowed to change light bulbs…here's why.
This was getting ridiculous. Scratch that, this had murdered ridiculous, taken its throne and demanded a hundred story replica of itself. Now it was just plain annoying.
Random Nobodies moved out of the way whenever the volatile pyromaniac walked by, since Axel had taken an exceptional liking to randomly setting them on fire. Even a Nobody knew that flammable was not natural in any given situation. Wasn't it bad enough that they were cursed beings doomed to damnation? Did they also have to be a whack-jobs sparkler?
Axel muttered obscenity after obscenity, glaring at a particularly colorless Dusk –it was their default setting after all but he wasn't going to remember that- and earning a blank expression in return. He growled, throwing his hands up in defeat. The only reason he ever talked to the stupid things was because they looked like they listened, twitching in response or staring at him for awkward amounts of time. Which was why he usually just cut the middle man and set them on fire. Saved everyone a big headache in the end.
Ultimately the corridor shifted, Dusks replaced by a throng of aquatic servants whom he detested even more but, elementally, couldn't set on fire –which just defied the whole purpose of being irrationally angry to begin with-. He moved toward on the only door in the entire hallway; thrust it open with the heel of his foot –not like anyone ever used doors anyway, what with materializing in a flashy show of darkness and all- and stared into the confused eyes of the Melodious Nocturne.
"Axel, what are you…?"
"You called me remember? Sent me a memo with one of your aqua friends which, by the way, was a stupid idea because now its toilet paper."
Demyx had the decency to look contrite, one of his aquatic servants handing over the sodden sheet of paper he'd written the note on and watching it disintegrate in his hand.
Demyx shrugged. "Whatever. You came anyway." he suddenly grinned, smiling in appreciation. Axel growled.
"I've been coming every damn day for the last month, thanks to your stupid moving fishbowls. I can't believe they keep sucking out the electricity, can't you cage them up or oww…OWW!"
Apparently Demyx's moving fishbowls were not incredibly fond of the pyromaniac's suggestion, and took the opportunity to let him know by biting him extremely hard on the ankle. "Fuck, these things have teeth?"
"I know, aren't they adorable? They're teething!" Demyx squealed, picking up a particularly nasty little monster and hugging it to his chest. The water servant returned the affection and Demyx held it out to Axel, smiling at the pyromaniac's incredulous expression.
"Come on Axel, make love, not war."
"It's hissing at me…"
"That's its version of 'I love you'"
"You were a neglected child weren't you?"
Eventually the servant grew bored, jumping of its master's embrace and returning to its duties. Demyx shrugged, moving to a nearby drawer and scrounging around for something.
"Demyx, look, not that I mind waking up to your demons from hell sticking to my bed, the roof, my arm, the sink, my coat or any other stupid place for a gelatinous blob to be but this is getting ridiculous. Can't you ask anyone else to change your damn light bulb? Or better yet get rid of the stupid things so they'll stop burning them out?"
Demyx turned back toward Axel, his expression blank. Whether Axel actually got through to him or Demyx was planning a one-idiot riot he wasn't sure. Demyx moved closer, standing passively in front of Axel, his hand snaking between them until all Axel could see was the bulbous outline of a light bulb. "Found it."
"…who hates me…"
"…who ignores me…"
"…who you killed…"
"Exactly. You're the only one whose tall enough so please fix my light bulb? Pretty please?" Demyx begged, his puppy dog eyes disturbing Axel greatly. In the end, he couldn't contend with Demyx's powers of annoyance and swiped the light bulb away, walking over to the desk and standing on it. He placed one leg on the corner of the table, the other on a neighboring bookcase shelf and unwound the existing light bulb, replacing it with the new one. Once he was done he jumped down, making a bee-line for the door. As it stood four of the stupid dancers were doing the robot and six more were hissing at him. The rest were just swaying in place, like it fucking meant something. And this was with the lights off. He didn't want to stay for when the stupid things saw light. It might give them epileptic seizures or actually make them sane -perish the thought-.
"Thanks Axel!" Demyx called, flicking on the light switch and observing the happy swagger of his servants. Axel mumbled, handing the burnt out light bulb to one of the aquatic dancers who, seemingly entranced, began to shake it, like a toddler with a rattle. Except it didn't rattle…it just kind of became absorbed, floating around in its gelatinous body which was kind of funny… but the point remained that it didn't rattle.
"Demyx…this light bulb isn't broken." Axel began slowly, turning back from the doorway. Demyx smiled, walking over toward the pyromaniac who was turning a nice shade of red.
"Oh, I know." He replied nonchalantly, retrieving the light bulb from the dancer's stomach and tossing it into his drawer for safekeeping. It would be of use tomorrow if Demyx had anything to say about it.
Axel twitched. "So why did you make me change the fucking light bulb?"
Demyx smiled, an innocent upturn of lips that didn't fool Axel for a second. "No reason…I just like to watch you stretch."