Abby waiting anxiously for her shift to end. The ER was the last place she wanted to be. She needed to go somewhere she could think. She stared at the clock until the hands reached six o'clock.

A wave of relief washed over her as she punched out. Now she didn't have to worry about anybody's broken leg or swollen chin, just herself and what she was going to tell Carter. How do you tell your friend you don't want him to leave? How do you tell your friend you've finally realized he means more to you than anything else in the world?

It was still raining outside, but now it was only a drizzle, perfect thinking conditions for Abby Lockhart. She went to the spot by the river that she and Carter had claimed as their own. She sat on a cold bench and watched as the raindrops made ripples in the water, sending her into a relaxed trace.

She didn't think she was in love with Carter, but she did know she could fall in love very fast if she let herself. The problem was letting go of the fear of being hurt. If she just wasn't so damn afraid she wouldn't have a problem finding the words to tell Carter.

"Clear your mind Abby," she told herself. "It'll come to you."

Abby sat there for at least another hour. She noticed the people staring at her, thinking she was insane for sitting in the rain without a raincoat or any sort of protection. She had always thought that at least a part of her was insane. It had to be. How else could she have coped with everything she grew up with? And if not that, then at least some of it had to have rubbed off from her mother.

The sky became darker and the rain became heavier. All the while Abby never moved from that bench. She was determined not to go home until the answers came to her.

"He won't hurt you. He's been there through everything, he's seen the darkest sides of you. He won't leave, so just tell him."

This became her mantra as she repeated it over and over in her mind.

"He won't hurt you. He won't hurt you."

"You're going to catch pneumonia," said a voice.

"I don't care," she replied. She looked up then to see John Carter standing above her with and umbrella. He looked miserable.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him, immediately kicking herself mentally for not leaping into his arms right then and there.

"Just visiting one of my favorite spots," he explained, sitting down next to her in order to shelter her with the unbrella too. "What are you doing here? More importantly, how long have you been sitting in the rain?"

"And hour and a half, maybe two. I don't really know. The rain helps me think, that's all."

"I worry about you Abby. I don't know if I'll be able to go to New York unless I know you'll be alright."

"This is it Abby," her mind yelled at her. "Tell him not to go! Beg him not to go!"

"I'll be fine John." Once again, Abby's fear was stronger than her heart.

Carter's heart sank. She didn't want him.

"Well then. I guess this is goodbye," he said, trying to sound as strong as possible.


"Yeah. I've decided to leave tommorrow. There's no point in staying really."

Abby still didn't reply. He had now given her two opportunities to ask him to stay, and she didn't take either of them.

"I'll send you a postcard," he said as he stood up.

Abby just stared as he walked away, petrified at the fact that this could be the last time she ever saw him. Her heart began to pound and she started to cry, though no one would be able to tell for the rain running down her face. He was getting farther away by the second, and she knew this was her last chance to do something about it.

"He won't hurt you. He won't hurt you."

She took a deep breathe.

"John!" She then shouted through the now heavy rain. He immeadiatly turned around to look at her and Abby jogged over to where he was.

She was now three feet in front of him, staring into his sad but curious eyes. She thought her heart was going to jump out of her chest as she started to panic again. She bit her tongue in order not to catch herself saying 'nevermind'. She was determined to do this, and yet it was the most frightening thing she ever had to do.

"I've been an idiot," she finally said. "The best thing in my life was always with me, but I treated you so bad. I took advantage of you and I'll never be able to forgive myself for it. If you leave John, I'll loose my mind, I'll fucking loose it I just know it. I can't live without you John. Don't leave me, please don't leave me."

It could now be obvious to any one that Abby was crying. Her eyes were red and her body was slightly shaking.

Carter dropped his umbrella and took Abby in his arms. He was on the verge of tears himself.

"All you had to do was ask," he said. "I promise I won't leave you Abby. I swear to God I won't leave you."

He took her face in his hands and kissed her, showing her his promise was real.

Abby felt a great weight lift off her heart. She wasn't afraid anymore.