Couldn't resist. Ending sucks. Thank you everybody who reviewed last. Enjoy.
I can't believe that happened. You would have thought something like this would spawn at random a few more years down the road, seeing how housing arrangements are. Then there comes an instant where you throw back your head and laugh wildly at how stupid you were, the rarity of the situation yet not surprised since you've know each other since the beginning...maybe I should explain it more.
I kissed him.
He didn't kiss me. I kissed him.
The lobby was completely destroyed, windows blown out, electricity in the Tower sapped dry, the only thing salvageable was the refrigerator in the kitchen. All the low chairs, the couches, and including the brain-melting television set trashed beyond saving.
And Robin's in the medical sector.
I, of course, escaped the fiasco unscathed minus the cuts from airborne shards of broken glass and a couple fragments embedded into my hands, easily taken care of with a pair of tweezers. The only reason I didn't get severely damaged was because of the protection Robin's arm was providing tightly hugging me down to the floor of the lobby.
What possessed me apparently didn't learn a lesson from this because I still remember the moments before chaos ensued. My own irrationality fondly recalls the conversation we were having, about personal space and how I wanted mine back from him. I had a firm grasp on my emotions up at that point, if I hadn't, several light fixtures in the hallway outside the room would have became unidentifiable black blobs. But the tension I was receiving from his clasp on my right shoulder caused a drained glass of OJ to tremble precariously on the countertop. Thinking back on it, I should have just chucked it at his head.
After wrenching myself from any physical contact, I made it clear that if I saw his face within the next 24 hours, there would be hell to pay. I was past being the nice person to this ordeal, and he finally developed a gist of restraint, giving me the polite gentlemen curtsy act. It sounded amazingly icy to my receptive ears.
In all honesty, from there I don't have an idea of what happened. I made up my own theories but dwelling on it doesn't help me. I distinctly remember feeling my entire body lighten considerately and uttering a phrase very uncalled-for in the decency of language before grabbing the back of his spiky head and smashing his innocent face into my own.
Four seconds before couch stuffing soared into my eyes, seven before he blacked out from a concussion.
Four seconds of his rigid expression softening against mine, of the blind grace spinning blissfully behind my closed eyelids, of the clumsy intimacy between the two most unlikely people.
… … ….he tasted like peppermint.
Starfire spent her nights sleeping in the medical sector, even after Robin woke up, she insisted he needed the company. She probably slept in one of the ten extra beds we stock on that level.
If I even passed through that hallway snaking to the rooftop entrance, unconsciously Starfire would bar the gaping double doorway with herself or deliver a critical stare in my hooded direction.
She didn't know about what we had done, only that this entire thing was my fault. I could have gone in any time I wanted to but I had no desire to confront him, or her, or any of them for that matter. I had already wasted my energy on seeing that the little green nuisance stayed out of my way. Not that he particularly aspired to be around my presence after bearing in mind what I did to his leader.
Say it was poor judgment but I did know it was my fault, Starfire had a reason to hate me, Beast Boy had a reason to fear me, and if I could find a way to make an apology for all I did I would take it no questions asked. If it was within good tastes. From my route back, following my daily ten hour meditation session during sunrise, I made myself known in the sector. Thank Azar Starfire had nine stomachs to feed.
As I expected, Robin had chosen the thinnest mattress to rest in. What I wasn't expecting was his half drowsy greeting, sleep gnawing on the edges of his coarse voice.
"I would have never guessed you to be a biter Raven."
He chuckled at his secret tidbit of information, a slow warm smile crawling up his mouth. I did my best to remain unmoved by its appearance.
"You know that can never happen again."
"I'm willing to take a few more hits to the head in exchange."
I was compelled to issue a maddened breath, trying my hardest not to roll my eyes at his pigheadedness, I would not let him know he was getting to me.
"You would throw a fit if you saw how it looked downstairs, that's what you get for tempting me."
His eyebrows underneath the domino mask rose ridiculously intrigued, "Tempting you?"
He sat up, exposing the cotton bandage stretched over his temple and side of his head when he did. He could have gone on about how I was the one who started it, or some other absurdity, instead his tone feigned innocence, "Do I turn you on Raven?"
I spun around at the heel, incredulous that he had the guts to say that to my face, "Alright I've had enough of you for one day," and added over my shoulder sarcastically, "Besides, how would Starfire feel if she caught her boyfriend trying to flirt with another girl?"
I hoped that hurt. Based on the confusion, skepticism emitting from behind me, I'm assuming that it did.
He was persistent.
"What are you suppose to do about a relationship then?"
I called back, a touch of irritation tainting my words, "What the hell are you talking about?" Against my better instincts, I stopped walking.
"Well, if you can't control yourself when you're with someone, how are you suppose to maintain a relationship?"
I frowned at his idiocy, face hidden by indigo, "I'm not. I don't date. I don't fall in love. I'm destined to be alone."
Robin seemed genuinely unnerved by the notion; almost cringing at the dead approach I showed towards the subject, "That's wrong."
Was I ever going to get through that thick skull of his?
Sincerity engulfed my empathic senses unmercifully, the source coming from the speaker with a strong resolute stance, "Raven, if anyone deserves love and understanding, it should be you. You do so much and ask for nothing back. I don't know a lot of people out there who are like that."
"People who put their leaders in an unconscious state for three days?"
Robin declared, the white in his masked eyes narrowing, "I've had worse. Believe me. I think it's unfair you have to live your life without having someone to spend the rest of your life with, someone you can grow old with."
"Life never asked me what I thought was fair or unfair," I got off the doorframe to fluidly seat myself on the edge of the nearest bed, "And you're wrong by the way, I have you, much to my misfortune."
The monotone couldn't cut away the slivers of humor I accidentally inserted into my statement. Stiffly, he climbed onto his feet, the second both of his feet touched the cold tiles, I followed his lead, preparing to bolt if I felt by any means threatened. I didn't have to see all of his countenance to know what he sought after, how he felt about me, despite all my efforts, my indifference, and at times cruelty. How does someone like him handle so much rejection, and become so relentless in his pursue?
"You're tempting something you have no control over," I warned him dully as his steps take him closer to my position, I do not back away like a frightened animal against the wall but stand firmly rooted to the ground. I will not be intimidated by a boy who uses an alias named after a harmless bird.
He was right there in my personal space again, inches away, he had the audacity to remove my hood. From there I should have knocked him off his feet and sent him back into his previous coma.
I should have done a lot of things I didn't.
"I've known that since the first day I met you," he dropped his voice to a gentle whisper, lowering his face near to my ear, "Didn't stop me before."
Robin was much too close for comfort and I turned my head away, inadvertently exposing a part of my sallow neck from behind the curtain of violet. Warmth from his breathinghit my skin; my being began to shudder violently. A whimper clogged my throat, I struggled to keep my own breathing placid but it came out ragged and quick.
I cursed him for coaxing my power to wreak havoc, cursing myself for allowing him to do this to me, cursing the feelings I cannot have that craved him wholly.
Abruptly, his skin brushed into the groove of my jaw, the heat made me moan involuntary, eyelids fluttering and widening when a light bulb exploded noisily above our heads.
My body shook harshly from the remembrance of sensations, with one hand extended out; I doubled over and put up a barrier between us, twice his height and span. It only blocked him from me. Tresses of indigo fell over my face.
"I won't let you do this. Not when it can hurt people."
His outline glowered, "I don't care."
My hand generated a sinister black, "I beg to differ," from there I wouldn't go on and snapped impatiently, "You can't have me Robin, whatever fantasy you conjured in your mind that included us, let it go. You need someone who can give you what you want back, I can't do that!"
He shouted angrily, pure frustration ripping from his tone, "I know! I know this!" His green fists clenched and unclenched, "I know it's wrong….if circumstances were different…"
I confirmed truthfully, "Then I would be yours." Robin stared unbelieving as the shield dissolved in front of our eyes; I continued in an inquiring fashion, "Did you think it was just hard on you?" Reflexively, my hood summoned itself back into place concealing my blanking facial expression. I could see precisely where his hand intended to land and I turned halfway to send Robin with his back to his bed, the impact caused the legs of the frame to scoot a good two feet head on into another cot.
My palm disappeared into the confines of my cloak as he wheezed pathetically, to my satisfaction, his chest rose and fell into a normal rhythm.
Starfire passed me on the first floor, determinedly staring at a spot on the wall ahead of her, down in the lobby where I wandered, Cyborg was working on fixing the windows with much stronger glass panes, he saw me coming and smirked, "Don't you dare think about it."
"Wouldn't dream of it," I grabbed a red apple from the vegetable crisper and headed back for the stairs, he yelled curiously at my retreat, "Mind telling me what happened?"
What if the circumstances were different?
It's not like I've never thought about what I would do, I was just hoping that Robin would get the message and chase after someone far more attainable.
I thought about my response. I belonged to no one. I was not a prize to be won. I was not to be set on a pedestal. But my irrationality had wants, all these wants! I wanted this, he wanted this, she wanted this, we were selfish beings. My heart wanted security, emotions, and love without consequences. His heart wanted the same but from a creature after his own traits. Starfire's heart wanted the image of righteousness and confidence, only half of what Robin consisted of. No one would have what they wanted. We were helplessly spiraling towards a dead end of sorts.
Before we hit the wall, I would like to have held his hand one last time.