A/N: I'm so getting lazy with updating. But tonight is my last night of holidays so I thought I might update just to celebrate. I posted 'Milk' on my LJ ages ago – nearly a year now, I think. Thought it might be nice to bring it to for posting. Once again – I'm too lazy to even type. I could laugh at myself if I wasn't laughing about the fact that my school mates want me to prance around in tights the same colour as the house I'm in. Joyous of all Joys.
Did you know you don't have to do a disclaimer?
It was his enemy.
He hated it so much…
To the extent where he could blow up every cow on the planet.
At least then they'd be used for something useful, other than milk.
Steak was good…delicious steak…
Looking up at the woman hovering above him, he could sense the black aura - different from the other people in the room - and they were looking at him as if he was a psychopath.
That solitary glass shook as she slammed her hand onto the table.
"009. Drink it now. It's not going to kill you."
"How do you know that? It could be off and I could die an hour later from food poisoning!"
"Idiot," 002 retorted, feet up on the table.
"You know, I've heard of people who've experiences traumatic events develop fears or phobias…but this is just ridiculous!"
Joe glared at the Brit and mumbled a nearly inaudible, "Like you'd ever know."
Joe, only about five or six years old was walking along one of the roads with his friend, Merry who cast a glance at him, "Hey Joe, you thirsty?"
"Sure, I guess," he replied.
Taking his hand she giggled and started dragging him "C'mon then!"
"Eh, Merry! Where are we going?" he asked, nearly tripping over his own feet.
"The farm? What the hell for?!"
He winced when Merry stopped and smacked him over the head "No swearing!"
"And the Father says no hitting either! If you weren't a girl…" he mumbled the rest under his breath. But, Merry was girl - he wasn't allowed to hit girls. However, After bickering for awhile, they'd kept walking (or dragged in Joe's case) until they came to a large gate. Merry easily climbed over it and undid it for Joe, who walked straight past her with no 'thank you'– which ultimately annoyed her.
Joe looked around while Merry ran up to a old looking house with a veranda. Joe cringed as the smell of barnyard animals and manure wafted and drowned his senses. The sound of chuckling caught his attention and he saw that the brunette was talking with an elderly man. "Merry! Long time no see little one! Oh! Who's this young fellow?" the farmer looked to be about 40, his hair was starting to grey and signs of age appeared on his face.
"This is Joe!" she said happily as Joe appeared beside her.
"Hiya…" Joe nodded silently and kicked the ground.
"Shy little one aren't ya? So, how about something to drink? I think that's the reason you came here in the first place." The farmer laughed when Merry squealed happily, confusing Joe in the process ("Damn it Merry, you don't have to squeal, you know!").
The farmer disappeared inside and came back a moment later with two glasses filled with milk. Merry grinned happily as she was handed hers, but Joe just took his with a look of total bemusement. "Here you go! Now, I have to go get back to work, so enjoy you two!" Merry waited until the farmer was out of sight, and downed the glass as fast as she could. Joe watched on in horror as she drained it quickly.
"Your turn!" she said, not realizing she had a milk mustache.
He looked down at his glass and glared.
"What's it made from?" he asked.
Merry blinked in confusion. "You mean…you've never had milk before?" she asked.
"Of course I've had it before!" he snapped back, "Just not…drinking it…"
"You're kidding?" Merry asked, still unable to believe it, "Well then; it's made in a cow."
"A cow? That's gross!" he yelled.
"So are you calling Daisy gross?"
Merry pointed over to a nearby field where a black and white cow chewed slowly on grass. "That's her! She's so cute!"
"That's even worse!" Joe shouted.
He poured the white milk out of his cup and onto the grass, turning the dirt into mud while shrugging, "Well at least it's good for one thing."
"Daisy is not gross and you wasted milk!"
He was then given the beating of a lifetime.
Of course he'd never tell them the real reason - that he'd been beaten up by a girl. He shuddered at the memory making everyone just as more curious.
"Just drink it and you can leave."
"I could just use my accelerator and be out of here in a flash you know," he said resting his chin on his folded arms. He was sitting on a back to front chair, still at the table with everyone else.
"Go on then. Prove to everyone and me that you really are a child."
He mumbled something incoherent under his breath and leaned back, "No way. I'm not drinking it."
Everyone except 003 sighed.
"Have it your way," 003 said.
009 sighed in relief. "About time…if anyone needs me-"
"I never said you could leave."
He looked back up at her. He got scared. She had a grin on her face that meant she was up to something…evil.
Taking the glass of milk, she drank some, but didn't swallow it.
"Oh big surprise. You're drinking it for me--"
In one quick movement, she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and crushed her lips against his. A few cyborgs hollered. He didn't know who they were, but he'd find out. He regretted let his thoughts wonder when he felt the creamy liquid pour down his throat. Letting go of him, 009 fell off his chair and onto the ground, face as red as a beet. "Now, are you going to drink the rest of your milk, or do I have to do that again?" she asked after wiping the milk that was left away from her mouth with her hand.
Crawling back up onto his chair, 009 looked up at her, still red in the face. But then he looked back down at his milk. "…No. Way."
003 sighed. "Alright…" she said taking the half empty glass of milk. "This shouldn't take long."
002 and 007 both looked at each other. "We don't like milk either!" the shouted in unison.
But she was already too busy trying to get 009 to drink his. He glanced out of the corner of his eye and gave them both the thumbs up.
"Bastard," 002 mumbled under his breath.