Well, I'm still writing 'Popularity doesn't Matter' and I'm still working on the other fic. But once again, I've hit writers block. So to try and get the 'juices' following again, so to speak, I decided to widen my scope. I decided, after reading a brilliant Roxas x Kairi fic, I may try one myself. So here it is. It wont be a long one, perhaps a couple of chapters, but I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. Sadly, they belong to Disney and Square Enix. But one day they shall be mine! Muahahahaha! coughs Anyway…


Chapter 1: Me, him and my big, bad problem

When I first met him on that dull morning, everything changed for me. You could say he became my first crush. But it wasn't to be, he fell for my sister.

Now I've become accustomed to seeing him with her, holding hands and 'making out' (thank you Selphie). And to make things worse, we've become what are called 'best friends'. Now any hope I ever had of there being a 'him and me' has vanished. But if being best friends with him is the only way I can ever get close to him, then I can live like that and die a fairly happy woman. But I can't get rid of the feeling of longing inside me: I long for him. When I see him with my sister, I always wish it was me in her place, me holding his hand, me running my fingers through his hair, me making him smile. But it never was. It was always her. It was always him and Namine.

They became the 'cute couple that lived next door to each other'. Destiny Islands resident lovebirds. And she never shut up about him. It was always 'Roxas this' and Roxas that'. Then I'd hear it off others. 'Namine and Roxas did this' or 'aren't Namine and Roxas so cute together'. And yeah, I was jealous. But he never knew all this. He never knew that I felt a slight hatred towards my sister because she was the one he chose, not me. He never knew that his best friend was in love with him.


Since Roxas started dating my sister, we grew close. I saw him everyday. You could say we 'bonded'. That's when we became best friends. We hung out together when he wasn't with my sister. We became know as a dynamic duo. When he wasn't seen with Namine, he was hanging out with me at the park or doing random junk.

I guess I knew I was first in love with him when he gave me that necklace for my 16th birthday. That was two years ago next week. I've had a crush on him since we had met 4 months earlier. But him getting that chain threw it for me. I fell in love with him there and then.

We had been hanging out in the Destiny Mall all day. It was a week before my birthday and we had gone shopping because there was nothing else to do. Namine had been placed under house arrest until she finished his English assignment so he came with me. We had just left the bookstore as we walked past the Jeweller's. That's when I saw it. In my opinion it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Sliver gold chain with a diamond encrusted heart. My breath was taken away.

"Wow," was all I could say.

"What?" Roxas asked as he looked over my shoulder. I pointed to the chain and he let out a whistle. "Even though I am all male, that's beautiful."

"Aww, letting out your feminine side are we Roxas?" I giggled slightly.

"Shut up you," he said, nudging me slightly.

"But it is beautiful." I then looked at the price and it was my turn to whistle. "150 muney! That's a whole months wages!" I sighed and turned away. "Well, some things aren't meant to be."

"Cheer up," he said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I turned away so he couldn't see me blush. "Come on, I need you to help me buy a present for Namine's birthday." My blush faded as quickly as it had came. Jealousy stirred within me.

He dragged me around different shops, always asking my opinion on presents. As much as I love to spend this time with him, to hold his hand as he dragged me off around the stores, I couldn't help but feel a pit growing in the bottom of my stomach. He was doing this for him. It was going to be their 4-month anniversary the day before my birthday and he wanted to get her something 'special'. How I wished I were the one he was buying that present for.

He went back to the mall the next day and bought me that necklace, he told me. He said that I had looked at it with a sense of longing and he just had to buy it for me, regardless of the cost. I've only worn it a few times. On my last 2 birthdays, on his and really special occasions. I didn't want to ruin it. It was too special for that. It was because it was from him.

By now you probably think I'm some stalker chick who can't get enough of this one guy and does everything in her power to get close to him but it never works? Well, you'd be right and wrong at the same time. I'm not a crazy stalker chick, no matter what Selphie says, but I can't get enough of him and no matter what I do, I'm always seen as the best friend.


That leads us to the present day. He's still with Namine and it's their 2-year anniversary in 6 days. I dread that day. Actually, I'm surprised they've lasted that long. With Namine's track record with boys, I wouldn't have placed my bet on 2 years. Its not that she's a tart or anything, its just that she's had difficulties staying with one person for longer than 3 weeks. But here we are, in 6 days it will be their 2-year anniversary and on the day after that, my birthday, but it also marks 2 years since the day I fell in love with him. And in those 2 years, I haven't plucked up the courage to tell him how I feel.

At the moment I'm sitting on the couch watching 'Full Metal Alchemist', Roxas' choice of course. Yet, my attention isn't on the television. My eyes keep wandering over to him, his attention solely on the television. He always got like this when he watched this. His dazzling blue eyes are glued to the set as the light illuminates his light chocolate brown hair.

God, I sound like a fan girl.

But something is different today. This time last year, he wouldn't shut up about how it was going to be his and Namine's 1-year anniversary in a couple of days. But now, when their 2-year anniversary is around the corner ((which I think is more important), he seems strangely quiet. This worries me.

"Roxas? Are you alright?"

"Hmm." I was taken back. Even though his favourite program was on, he always gave me a proper answer. What's happened to him?

"Are you sure?"

"Hmm." I sit up straight. Now I'm officially worried. Maybe I should send him round to Selphie's for a bit? Or maybe not. I'd never inflict that upon any male. Except maybe Tidus. But I suspect he's got a crush on her anyway.

I reached over and put the television on mute. Roxas turned to look at me, his forehead wrinkled.

"What was that for?"

"Tell me what's wrong and I'll turn the mute off."

"Nothing's wrong. Stop being paranoid." Well, that's a first. He's never spoken to me like that before. I fell back into the chair and didn't look at him. For some reason, I felt guilty for the way he was acting. I should have stopped pestering him. I should have left him alone. I looked at my feet. Anything but him. Then his hand went under my chin and made me look at him. I never heard him cross over from the chair.

A frown was placed on his face.

"Kairi…I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for. It's my fault. I shouldn't have asked."

"You're my best friend." My stomach churned as he said that. "I'm glad you're worried about me, if that makes sense. It means you care. And I shouldn't have bitten your head off. I've…just got a few things on my plate at the moment."

"You know that we're going to university in November, after we finish college?"

"Roxas, I thought we weren't going to talk about this, and you weren't going to worry about it."

"I'm not, its just…you know that I applied to Avalon University?" I gulped slightly. That university was in the south of Fate Island, which is 16 hours away. And it's in the south, which is even worse! "Well…I got in."


Have you ever had a moment when you felt like the whole world was crumbling around you? Well, I had one of those about an hour ago. When he told me, I felt like the ground had given way. I knew he wanted to go there so badly, but I hadn't really thought about it. About what it would be like when he was gone. But in that moment, it felt like he had already left.

And now here I am, sitting alone on a swing in the central park. Roxas had left soon after he told me. I told him that I had to go to my grandmother's house.

I hate lying to him.

And I hate myself for the fact I love him so much.

I hate the way he's in love with my sister.

I hate the fact he's going to leave here.

And I hate the world for making my life so confusing.

Do you want to know who I am? What my life is like at the moment?

My name is Kairi Clarkson. I'm 17 and live with my 17-year-old sister, Namine. I attend D.H.C.C. I have a brilliant group of friends and an excellent best friend.

It may look simple, but it's far from it. This excellent best friend I told you about, well he dates my sister. The problem…I'm in love with him, and he doesn't have a clue.


Well, what did you think? Hope you liked it. Read and review people. Adios x x x