Ja: I have to edit the last chapter, but I thought I'd update first. Sorry, I moved my room, didn't have internet . . . etc. I hope that I won't have many more distractions now.


"Suguru." I blinked at my cousin's teal eyes swaying slightly. My cousin looked like he had run, but I doubt he had. I figured it may have been windy outside.

"Yeah?" I said slowly. He came through the door and shut it quickly I leaned back against the wall sliding to the floor, my body felt too heavy to hold up anymore.

"You stormed out before I could finish." His voice sounded like it as miles away. I nodded because of the pause, I assumed that was what I was supposed to do. "Suguru, as I told you in my office. . ." That was all I heard before my head began to buzz and drift off.

I swayed where I sat and I felt sick. I was dizzy, and my stomach was revolting. Then in the fuzz I heard his voice.

My drug addled mind perceived it as salvation. I crawled toward him. Then his voice went away. I near stopped but I knew he was close. Groping blindly I found his thigh.

"Touma."I whispered, my voice sounding huskier then I would have liked but my mouth was dry.

I really didn't feel like having sex at all. I was tired, I wanted to curl up in his arms and sleep, but my cousin's fingers wrapped around my hand on his thigh.

I knew what was running through his mind. My vision blinked in like a random camera flash. My cousin pushed me against the couch. I didn't protest. I don't think I could have. Again my vision flashed and he was kissing me. I couldn't feel it but I saw it.

I think I was falling asleep. And the flashes were random moments of consciousness were making me paranoid. I shivered, as I could feel the slight tickle of his hands on my sides.

"Suguru." I inhaled sharply. My body winked out of consciousness

It was nice I was pretty lost to it all, and it felt like everything make sense at that moment. Free falling is usually very scary, but I had been approaching that cliff for far to long, so I had the prep time to fall out and off that afore mentioned fissure in my consciousness.

Upon feeling that free fall, I decided a lot of things. Maybe going after Touma wasn't the best function. Maybe the form I needed to follow was a true meeting between two people. Or maybe it was a vodka chaser, I didn't know which was the best but the alcohol seemed like the best idea.

"Suguru!" It sounded panicked, but The free fall was like flying and I never wanted to leave this semi-captured moment of euphoria.

I felt like a violent wind whipped around my upper body changing my trajectory. I tried to fight against it, but I could move my heavy limbs. And the lack of control was a godsend.


I flet fuzzy and it seemed to be getting brighter.


The speech made the black turn in tone and shapde whiter or greyer and it made me frustrated, my fee fall was slowing down too much and I was sure I was goign to break a one when I landed instead of being crushed on impact.

"Pulse. It's faint but he's got one."

"What do you think was the cause?"

"Maybe dehydration?"


Damnit! Leave me alone! My black free fall had turned into a stop in whiteville. The light was blinding and I lifted up my arm to cover my arms.

"It's too bright." I groaned out.

"Sugi!" I groaned again.

"Touma?" I opened my eyes to be greeted with a close range look is a flashlight bulb. I snarled and again covered my eyes. "Will you stop shining that damn thing in my eyes."

I tried after a few minutes to open my eyes again, and the light was gone, I was on the floor in my living room. I looked over at my cousin. And forced a little smile. It came to me what had happened I went out on nod and the stress of the situation induced hallucinations.

"What happened?" I asked playing the naive role.

"You passed out and your breathing slowed down and so did your heart rate. I thought you died so I called a paramedic team. "


The on call medic started to ask me questions I pointed it at dehydration. So soon with starting drugs again and I was going to be found out. Fat chance. I was tried of feeling the slow tick-tock and no relent, and drugs made the slow clock move faster.

I talked with my cousin after the team left, having successfully scared him he gave me water and other fluids just like the medic asked I tried to act as causal as possible under his hawk eyes. He knew the effects of some drugs, hopefully he didn't know all that much about heroin.

After I bid him goodbye I went to sleep.

I was out for a while, I remember him touching me but it made me wonder if had done anything with me while I was free falling.

"Trapped under ice, comfortably cold. I've gone as low as you can go. Feel no remorse no sense of shame. Time's gonna wash away all pain . . . Gospel of rage, a faction of hate deviate from the absolute. Born of revenge, raised on cement."