A/N: I'm back. Ok, I'm sorry I didn't update for so long, but you know real life crap (like work and computer viruses) tends to get in the way. Lucky for me, real life seems to have evened out a little, and I should have time to more regularly update. Just know that I have some ideas for episodes I want to redo at least into season 5, and I'm going to write them. It just might take a while. I really appreciate everyone who PMed or reviewed or in any way expressed how much they wanted to read my stuff. HUGE thanks to luvcali76 who is super awesome in every way. :)

Recap: Hyde and Jackie are happily (and lustily) in love, Eric is oblivious to their relationship, and Donna is struggling to spice up her and Eric's sex life. Kelso and Laurie met in Cancun in a strip club where Laurie was auditioning, and Fez is a perv. :) (How crazy is it that something that started out as an excuse for J/H porn pure and simple has gotten actual PLOT elements? Crazy.)


"…the two robbers, one male and one female, have become known in Mexico as the "Banditos Rojos" because of the red bandanas they wear to cover their faces. So far this month, they have robbed at least twenty American tourists in the country and are believed to be heading towards Cancun…"

"But Ste-ven," Jackie's voice cut through the news anchor's as she pouted and paced back and forth behind the basement couch where Hyde was slouched watching television, "we have to go on at least one real date!" Stomping her heel on the concrete floor, Jackie sighed loudly at being ignored, knowing that she needed a change in tactics.

Hyde closed his eyes and sank into the couch, blocking out the sounds of Jackie's sad whimpers. It wasn't that he didn't want to go out with her, exactly, it was just this nagging feeling that suggested that things were changing too much, too quickly. A few short months ago they had been casual sex buddies, and now they were exchanging 'I love yous' and taking about dates? He didn't doubt that the 'I love yous' were real, he didn't doubt that he wanted to be with her, but something deep in his gut churned as she giddily babbled on about the next big step in their relationship. Relationship. That word didn't scare him as much as it should have, and the fact that it didn't scare him seemed terrifying.

"Steven...baby..." Jackie's sugary, soothing voice pulled Hyde out of his thoughts. He opened his eyes to find his girlfriend kneeling on the ground in front of him, her lips perched tantalizingly over his crotch, the TV black and cold in the background. "We don't have to go somewhere fancy and expensive, you know. It's not like I want to go to the Vineyard." The words were spoken innocently, sweetly even, but Hyde was an insecure man, and suddenly the real reason for his stubbornness about a date surfaced.

"What? You don't think I can pay for a nice date? I do have a job, you know." His voice was laced with an icy hostility that Jackie had learned to recognize as her man's vulnerability shining through; after all, since when would Steven Hyde care about paying for a fancy dinner?

"Baby, of course you can pay for a date anywhere we want to go, but we both know that you hate fancy restaurants, and I have so many memories of the Vineyard with Michael..."

Hyde's whole body tensed up at the mention of Jackie's ex-boyfriend, but she resolutely refused to move away from her seat between his feet.

"Steven?" Jackie tentatively rubbed her hand up and down his thigh, hoping to pull him out of his funk by staying calm in the face of his anger. "Baby, you know..." Hyde cut her off before she could continue.

"What Jackie? Places like that are good enough for Kelso but not good enough for me?" The words came flippantly, the anger buried behind Hyde's obvious fear of being vulnerable.

"Oh, for the love of God, Steven! Will you listen to yourself? You're arguing that you should take me to the Vineyard!" Hyde nodded almost sheepishly at that, admitting to himself that maybe he was just trying to pick a fight, but his arms remained crossed over his chest. "And what would make you think that I would rather go to places like that with Michael? You were there when I found out I was just an accessory to his dinner thieving!"

"So then why don't you want to go?" Jackie tried to hold back a smile at the way Hyde hid his pout behind tinted shades and a scowl.

"It's just that, you know...I went there with Michael a few times, and we...you know...in the bathroom…" Jackie rolled her eyes with embarrassment as Hyde caught on.

"So what, you don't want to ruin the special memory?" Finally, Hyde's sarcasm was too much and Jackie pushed herself up off of the floor and began to pace the room again.

"Yes, Steven...that's exactly it. I don't want to go to a restaurant with lots of memories of my ex-boyfriend because our relationship was just so special that I don't want to ruin it!"

"Well come on, Jackie, if we're going to cross off all the places where one of us has had sex with someone else, we're not going to have many choices." He seemed to be leering at her from behind his glasses, daring her to contradict him, watching for the slightest sign of jealousy. "There must be some other reason."

"All I meant was that I don't want our first date to be about Michael!" Jackie sighed, exasperated, and sunk down onto Hyde's usual chair. "I just want us to have a good night together, and you have to be a stupid ass about it!"

"Jackie..." Hyde sighed as the honesty behind her words sunk in. Slowly, the tension in his body eased and he pulled off his sunglasses before running a hand over his face and through his hair. "Look, I just think that if we avoid going to places because you were there with Kelso, we're really making it about him anyways."

"So, what, are you saying you want to take me to the Vineyard for dinner on Saturday?" Jackie asked quietly, keeping her head down and her eyes on the floor.

"Yeah, I guess," Hyde offered lamely.

Looking into Hyde's uncovered eyes, Jackie just shook her head and tried to hide her smile. "You just wanna do it in the bathroom, don't you?" Her smile grew wider at his waggled eyebrows and she jumped up from her chair in a fit of happiness. "Reservations are at seven, baby." With that, she skipped out of the basement to find Donna and tell her about the date she had finally convinced Steven to take her on.

"So, basically, you tricked Hyde into taking you to the Vineyard." Donna rolled her eyes as she spoke to Jackie, who was currently locked in a dressing room trying outfits for the date.

"That's just it! I barely had to trick him. He felt the same way!" Jackie stared dreamily into space, imagining what dirty fun she and Hyde would have on their date on Saturday.

Jackie couldn't see the disgusted look that Donna shot towards the slated door that Jackie stood behind. "I can't believe you're so excited to do it in a freakin' bathroom. That's just...eww!"

"Pfft. You're just jealous that me and Steven have such an awesome sex life, and you and Eric can't even do it in his bedroom without getting caught." As she finished her insult, Jackie popped out of the dressing room in a clingy red dress with a plunging neckline.

"Ok, first, Eric and I don't need to do it in bathrooms because we love each other and we're perfectly happy with our sex life. And second, you look like a tiny midget whore in that dress." Jackie was about to argue, but as she looked down at herself she just shrugged her shoulders and headed back into the tiny room.

"So, you and Eric have never done it somewhere exciting?" Jackie asked sometime later from within the small closet as she adjusted the spaghetti straps on the short cream colored dress she had on. She gazed at her reflection in the mirror approvingly. A pair of healed sandals and it was the perfect dress: revealing enough to be sexy, modest enough to avoid being slutty, the perfect shade of white to contrast her summer tan while not showing tan lines.

"Uh, well, we did it in the Vista Cruiser," Donna offered lamely, embarrassed at being schooled in sex by her younger friend.

"Come on, Donna! You have to do crazy things sometimes!" Donna nodded thoughtfully at her friend's advice, and was clearly considering a sexy adventure of her own when Jackie emerged from the room carrying the dress she would wear to dinner. "Come on, I need some shoes!"

"Come on dufus," Laurie sighed as she led Kelso into a rundown taqueria down the block from the strip club of her shame.

"So, I gotta hand it to you Laurie, you've got a really nice tan, especially on your..."

"Shut it, Kelso!" Laurie snapped at him shaking her head. "Let's get a few things straight." Her eyes narrowed threateningly, and Kelso took an involuntary step backwards, though his goofy expression didn't change as she began to rant. "Just because I gave you a lap dance doesn't mean that we're back together. I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you, and I definitely don't want to do it with you. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Laurie," Kelso rolled his eyes as he answered her, but Laurie was too irritated and embarrassed to care. Swallowing down her feelings of shame at being caught in such a compromising position, she walked up to the white man at the counter, clearly an American.

"What do you want?" Laurie asked Kelso, planning on having one lunch with her former pseudo-boyfriend and then not seeing him again until she got back to Point Place.

"Uh, how do you say 'burrito' in Spanish?" Kelso whispered in Laurie's ear, earning him an exasperated glare. Looking up at the blond man waiting to pass them their food, Kelso spoke slowly and loudly, waving his hands expressively as he said, "Sorry, uh," he paused as he looked down at his name tag, "Justin. I don't speak your language." Banishing him to a nearby table, Laurie quickly ordered their food and joined him.

"This food is pretty good," Kelso offered, trying to break the awkward silence that had fallen between him and Laurie. The blonde just nodded without looking up from the mess of tortilla and chicken that lay shredded on her plate. "Laurie...?" Kelso's voice was soft and purposeful, lacking the silly quality that it normally carried. "Why do you want a job at a strip club?"

She tried to glare at him, but Laurie's hardened face gave way to a vulnerable, watery smile. "I'm broke, Kelso. All I have is twenty bucks and what's in my bag." Laurie pointed to the battered canvas tote at her feet. Blinking her eyes against the sting of unshed tears, she continued, "I left without telling anyone, and I can't call Daddy now and ask for money." They sat in silence together until Laurie asked expectantly, "Well, aren't you going to say I deserve it for sleeping with your brother and running off?"

"No." Kelso sighed, tossing the remainder of his burrito on the cheap Styrofoam plate. "I know it's probably hard for you to see me right now, given how much we used to do it," his face was perfectly serious as he spoke, and all Laurie could do was smile and nod. "I mean, I can barely resist me sometimes," a slight grin broke through his sober demeanor before he continued, "but you deserve better than working in a place like that. I've saved up a lot of money from babysit… I mean, uh, bull fighting," he paused, silently congratulating himself on the great save, "and I can help you out."

"Look, moron, I don't know what kind of deal you're hoping for, but just because we've screwed doesn't mean I'm gonna…"

"It's not like that. I always liked you, Laurie. You're hot and blonde and you're really nice…sometimes. I always have fun with you, you know? That's why I wanted to be with you in Wisconsin and that's why I want to be with you here. So look, just come with me, we'll find a place to stay, and there's no pressure, okay?"

Laurie stared in awe at the goofy young man she had known for so many years, so fixated on him that she didn't notice the pair of menacing masked figures that stepped into the otherwise empty taqueria.

"Come on, Kelso," Laurie stood from the table and grabbed his hand pulling him towards the door. "I know a place where we can get a cheap room."

"No need to be stingy, little lady," Kelso grinned at her as he swaggered next to her. "I have almost a thousand dollars cash, plus I swiped Kasey's credit card." He winked at her cheekily, but before he heard Laurie's answer, there was a stab of cold metal at the small of his back that felt distinctly like a gun.

"I'll be taking that money, compadre," a husky man's voice whispered into Kelso's ear, prompting him to fork over his entire wallet. "And your bag, too," he looked to Laurie, who handed over her tote to the masked man's companion: a smaller figure, clearly female, wearing the same red bandana over her face. "Gracias, amigos," the pair laughed as they ran from the scene of the crime, leaving Laurie and Kelso standing together outside, penniless in Mexico.

"Well," Kelso looked around the dusty parking lot as he jingled the keys to his van. "We still have the van…and you can always get a job in a strip club, right?"

"You really do look good," Hyde whispered in Jackie's ear for the hundredth time that night as he pulled out her chair, kissing her bare shoulder for good measure as she sat down at their table, nestled in the corner of the Vineyard's large dining room.

"So do you Steven," Jackie answered, glancing back at her boyfriend. Hyde had opted out of a suit, but he wore his white button down well, with the sleeves pushed up his arms, and his khaki pants fit perfectly. In her giddy excitement for their night together, Jackie had already made a few grabs for his ass. "Do you remember the last time we were here together?" Jackie asked, her voice dancing with laughter as Hyde took his seat across from her.

"What I mostly remember is not leaving the bathroom for half an hour." Hyde shuddered at the memory of Donna and Eric's 'special' brownies. "I didn't know those two were capable of such evil."

"I can't believe that all the times Michael brought me here it was just a dirty lie," Jackie seemed to be speaking almost to herself as she wondered for the millionth time why she had ever been with her ex-boyfriend at all.

"Could we maybe not talk about Kelso for once?" Hyde spoke in a harsh whisper, loud enough to communicate his anger, but soft enough to keep from making a scene.

"Steven, I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Are we going to have to talk about how you did it together, too?"

Jackie, clueless as to what was causing Hyde's anger, bristled at his outburst. "Why do you keep acting like Michael is some kind of threat to you? Besides, it's not like you're totally innocent, Steven! You said yourself that you've been with plenty of girls in plenty of places!"

"So what if I have? I don't rub it in your face, and you never had to fucking listen to it, so what does it matter to you?" His voice was still quiet, but the anger and hurt he felt was obvious. Jackie thought back to a day several months ago, the day they had really become a couple in her mind, and recalled for the first time how it had all begun: with him overhearing an encounter between her and Michael.

"Steven..." Jackie began, but she was cut off by the appearance of their waitress, a tall, busty blonde who immediately recognized Hyde.

"Hey, Steven," the girl, whose nametag identified her as Rachel, greeted him along with a saucy wink. Jackie silently fumed as Rachel proceeded to recite a list of specials directly to her boyfriend, all the time ignoring the fact that he clearly had a date. And Hyde didn't seem to be in a hurry to call her on it; if anything, he was encouraging the attention.

"I get the chicken, the green beans, and the salad?" Hyde asked, his tone uncharacteristically devoid of sarcasm as he kept questioning the waitress while obviously staring at her ample cleavage and avoiding the angry glare Jackie was shooting his way.

"So who was that?" Jackie asked snarkily when the waitress left the table with their drink orders, her voice low and dangerous.

"Oh, that was Rachel," Hyde answered with a smirk, clearly enjoying the fact that Jackie was the jealous one for a change. If he knew he had overstepped the bounds of appropriate date behavior, his expression didn't show it.

"And who's Rachel?" Her voice was tight with anger, but Hyde ignored it and casually picked up a menu.

"Just some girl," he answered cooly, scanning over the list of appetizers in his hand.

"Just some skank, you mean," she seethed, reliving the easy smile that graced her boyfriend's face as their whorey waitress spoke to him. "Did you have sex with her?" Hyde's answer came in the form of a self-satisfied silence, and the mental image of the man she loved fucking someone else caused her anger to dissipate into horrified sadness. "You weren't kidding, were you, about there being a lot of girls and a lot of places?" She asked in a small, sad voice.

"It's not like any of them are a threat to you," Hyde threw back her words from a few minutes before. "Besides, you and Kelso…"

"Stop it!" Jackie's breathless whisper cut him off. Hyde had been sitting back comfortably in his chair, and it wasn't until Jackie looked up at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears, that he considered that maybe he had made a miscalculation. He had always operated on the principle that when he was hurting, he needed to hurt someone back, but seeing the pain he caused his girlfriend was too much. Maybe, just maybe, he had to accept that flirting with blonde whores wasn't the way to deal with relationship problems.

"Jackie, I…" He was cut off by her abrupt rise from the table.

"No, Steven," she shook her head. "I'm sorry you're insecure about me and Michael, but if you're going to pretend that I do things like that," the gestured between him and the blonde waitress as she emphasized the word, "then this just isn't going work." Not allowing him to get in another word, she rushed to the ladies room to pat away her tears before they ruined her makeup.

She hadn't been standing at the sink for more than thirty seconds before to Hyde pushed open the bathroom door, verified that the room was empty except for Jackie, and stepped inside, keeping his back pressed tightly to the door and thus blocking anyone else from entering. The first words out of his mouth shocked Jackie enough that she instantly forgot that she wasn't going to talk to him.

"I'm sorry." Jackie turned from the sink, her mouth agape from her surprise at the apology. "I… Look, I hate that you were with him, okay? I hate that every time you've broken up with him, you've ended up taking him back. I know…I know you don't try to rub it in my face, but Jackie…I heard you two…"

"Oh, Steven," Jackie sighed quietly as she took the necessary five steps across the bathroom to burrow her head into Hyde's chest while her tears subsided. "I understand why it bothers you, Puddin' Pop," she smiled up at him as she spoke. "It's the same reason it bothered me to see you with that waitress…it's because you love me." As she spoke the final phrase, her expression loss all traces of sadness and she seemed giddy with her realization.

Hyde made a valiant effort to refrain from rolling his eyes—a natural defense mechanism in mushy emotional situations—but he was there, in the ladies room at the Vineyard, and he figured he might as well get the whole conversation over with.

"But, that's the thing, Jackie." He took a deep breath, trying to figure out what he meant to say. "That girl… Jackie, I wouldn't have known her name if it wasn't pinned to her shirt. I've never…you know…been with someone…like this." He looked down to where her cheek was pressed tightly against his chest. "You and Kelso…I mean…you…"

"But baby, don't you know that I love you so much more than I ever loved him? Steven, there's just no comparison…" Jackie's words were cut off when Hyde abruptly pressed his lips to hers, covering her mouth with his own and sliding his hands around her waist possessively. Their tongues tangled in a passionate haze until Jackie realized where they were standing. "In there," she whispered into his mouth as she pulled him towards the stall furthest from the bathroom door.

Their lips parted momentarily as Hyde turned around to lock the stall door, but it took only a split second before he backed her forcefully against the cool tile wall and plunged his tongue hungrily into her mouth. Caught up in their passionate haze, Hyde's mouth drifted from Jackie's, unable to resist the temptation offered by her bare neck and shoulders.

"Fuck, Jackie," Hyde growled against her neck as one of her small hands drifted over the prominent bulge in his slacks, prompting him to slide her up the wall and grind himself into the warmth between her legs as her ankles crossed behind his back. While their lower bodies connected, driving them both towards ecstasy, he ravaged her neck, biting and sucking with an intensity that sent a rush of heat through Jackie's body, leaving her core wet and aching. Spurred on by the driving need to be filled by Hyde, to feel him pressing, moving, throbbing between her legs, she made quick work of his fly and soon had his khakis pushed down to his knees, exposing his lack of underwear. He had come just as prepared for tonight as she had, and the thought made her smile.

"Steven, please," Jackie moaned into his ear as she guided his manhood towards her. They groaned together as he slid inside, and Jackie sighed in pleasure and satisfaction when he was lodged completely within her. They both knew that this would be hard and fast, and both had spent the past several days fantasizing about the combined danger and pleasure of the evening. "I've been waiting all week for this baby," Jackie whispered, "I want…"

Whatever words she would have spoken next were swallowed by the horrifying whoosh that signaled the opening of the bathroom door.

"I told Charles I wanted the navy Lincoln, and he got black. I swear, Sharee, that man never listens to a word I say." A woman's voice filled the tiled bathroom, and Jackie and Hyde froze in their position pressed together against the wall. Jackie threw her head back against the wall in frustration as they listened to the quiet hiss of one of the stall locks sliding into place. Hyde was still hard and hot inside of her, and feeling him present but unable to move was a kind of torture.

"No, it's not just Charles. Why, I told my Frank just last week that I wanted the platinum band on my engagement ring, and he got white gold!" Hyde pulled his head away from Jackie's neck enough for her to see his expression of exasperation. It would have been foolish to imagine they would have the bathroom all to themselves forever, but to have to share it with these two? She nodded in understanding, wondering when discussions about cars and jewelry had started to sound so silly, and quickly deciding that it was probably around the time that she had figured out that relationships were about more than what kind of presents she got. Smiling happily to herself, she squeezed her internal muscles around him, content to just enjoy the feel of him until the women left the room. Hyde clearly had other plans.

A predatory gleam shining in his eyes, Hyde rolled his hips over Jackie's, moving slightly within her and wringing a shallow gasp from her lips that he smothered with the palm of his hand. As he thrust again, harder and deeper, he covered her mouth with his, swallowing the moans she couldn't restrain as he began to move rhythmically, hard and deep, but unbearably slow. Neither heard the sound of toilets flushing or the telltale sound of the women preparing to leave the bathroom.

He maintained his slow pace, creating a burn of desire through Jackie's body but leaving her unfulfilled, until the two ladies left the room along with their idle complaints about luxuries he would never have. If they noticed that the feet visible under the back stall of the room were clad in men's shoes, they didn't say anything to indicate it.

In the renewed silence of the bathroom, Hyde increased the speed of his thrusts, keeping Jackie's body pinned against the wall as he moved. Every sensation was magnified by the sense of danger and the need to hurry toward the end, and Jackie felt herself growing close from just the thought of doing something so dirty in a semi-public place. Despite the empty room around them, Jackie tried to bite back the loud moans that fell from her lips as Hyde drove her closer and closer to orgasm. She failed miserably, and the soft sound of her voice echoed out of the stall through the large tiled room, bringing a triumphant grin to Hyde's face as she spasmed around him. It took him no more than two thrusts to follow her over the edge, sinking his teeth into her neck to silence his cry of completion.

"Fuck, Jackie," he panted into her ear, sending shivers up her spine as he slowly let her legs drop to the floor. They stayed tangled together, leaning against the bathroom wall, for several moments before Jackie seemed to register their situation.

"Steven," she whispered, despite the fact that there was no need to speak quietly. "I'm gonna get cleaned up…I'll meet you back at the table, okay?" Hyde nodded, his head still burrowed against her neck where he left a lingering kiss before pulling away and righting his pants. One last chaste brush of the lips and Hyde left the bathroom, headed for their table.

Taking his seat in the main restaurant, Hyde smiled at the sight of two glasses of water dripping with condensation from the melted ice. They must have been gone longer than he thought. He grinned with the knowledge that anyone who cared to do the math could figure out what just happened; it's not as though there was any shame in having laid some kind of claim to the hottest girl there. He was still smiling when he saw Jackie leave the bathroom, and in a reflex he didn't know he could have, he rose from the table and pulled out her chair.

"So, are you like, ready to order?" The irritated voice of their blonde waitress cut into their moment as Hyde sat down again.

"Yes," Jackie announced, turning an evil eye on the girl. "We'll have a different waitress. Someone less whorey, please." At Jackie's rudeness, the blonde turned an appealing gaze to Hyde, who just shrugged his shoulders.

"You heard the lady."

"God, Donna," Eric groaned between kisses as his girlfriend pushed him into a bathroom stall, not bothering to lock the door behind her. He might have had no idea why she had been pressuring him into trying kinky new sexual ideas, he might have even been a little hesitant after their bondage fiasco, but Eric Forman was still a man, and he wasn't going to turn away a horny redhead who was ready to go in the bathroom at the Vineyard.

"Like this," Donna practically ordered him as she turned to face the wall of the stall, raising her dress so that her bare ass was presented to him. She craned her neck to watch as he lowered his pants and licked her lips slowly as his manhood came into view. "Eric, now," she pleaded, turned on beyond belief by the sensation of cold tile against her cheek, the prickle of fear that someone might walk in at any moment, and the pure anticipation of how good he would feel inside of her.

It took Eric mere seconds to position himself behind her and slide slowly into her waiting heat. "You feel so good," Eric moaned into her ear as he began to thrust, setting a fast rhythm that drove Donna relentlessly towards the edge. She was on the verge of screaming with pleasure when the door whooshed open.

"Oh my God, Eric and Donna, is that you?"

Startled, the coupling pair looked towards the stall door and noticed that it was halfway open. Staring at them through the resulting large crack was Crazy Caroline.

"I haven't seen you guys in, like, forever!" She smiled manically, nodding her head to herself, completely unfazed by the fact that the people she was talking to were naked from the waist down, and still intimately joined. "How's Fez?"

"Now's not really a good time…" Eric began, only to be cut off by her rambling.

"I knew it. He's seeing someone, isn't he? Dammit!" As she bemoaned the loss of a boy she hadn't seen in months, she banged her head softly on the outside of the stall, muttering, "Stupid, stupid, stupid…"

"So then Caroline walked in," Donna collapsed onto her bed, scowling at Jackie, who was sitting in her desk chair.

"It's not funny, man!" Eric frowned at Hyde who was sitting in his usual chair as Eric reclined on the couch.

"Yeah, it really is, Donna."

"Oh, yes it is, Forman."

"It's like we can't do it anywhere without something horrible happening!" Donna sighed at grabbed one of the pillows on her bed to cover her face.

"It's like she keeps pushing me into doing this weird stuff and BAD things happen!" Eric turned on the couch, flopping so he was facedown.

"Come on, it wasn't that bad, was it?" Jackie and Hyde asked, staring at their friends.

"She wouldn't leave! We had to get dressed while she was standing there banging her head on the stall and talking about Fez! I had to give her his phone number to get her to leave us alone."

"I didn't even finish, man!"

Jackie and Hyde both laughed.

"I swear, I'm not going to try anything else," Donna promised, clutching her pillow to her chest. "I don't think I can stand the embarrassment of being seen naked again.

"I'm never having sex again," Eric announced.

"Aww, Donna. Everything will be fine. Just don't force it. Not everyone can be as perfect as me and Steven." With a knowing smile, Jackie rose from her chair. "I have to go; Steven and I are going swimming at my house this afternoon." She flounced out of the bedroom, leaving behind a pissed off Donna who wanted more than ever to show up her friend with a great, non-humiliating sex story.

"Good luck with that, Forman." Laughing to himself, Hyde rose from his chair. "Well, I'm gonna go get laid." Eric sighed in defeat as Hyde grinned at him before leaving for Jackie's house.

Fez ran for the phone ringing next to his bed, hoping it would be Kelso calling to say he was coming home. Since his best buddy had left him, and his other friends were entangled in love issues, he had been lonely and hoping for any company.

"Hello, this is Fez," he announced into the phone, surprised when he heard nothing but silence on the other end of the line. Not even the soft sound of breathing carried over the wire. "Hello?" Suddenly, there was a loud gasp followed by heavy panting, as though someone had been holding her breath. Suddenly, he was very nervous. "C-Caroline?"

"Yeah!" She giggled over the phone. "You still know me so well, Fezzy!"


What happens when Hyde and Jackie go swimming together? Will Eric ever find out about them? Will Donna ever get a hot moment without someone walking in? What will Kelso and Laurie do, stranded in Mexico without so much as gas money? Will Fez ever get some? Does Johnny Carson eat corn? Find out next time in 'Hyde Bags Jackie.'
AN2: Thanks for reading. :) You know how much I want you to review, right? And that as soon as you clicked on this page, my little 'hit counter' went up one, and I start crying when the hit counter goes up and the review counter doesn't?

I'll be back as soon as possible with another chapter, but I'm getting a little bored with such a singular focus on J/H, so look for a few new one shots in the future that aren't really J/H but also will never ever ever have anything to do with J/H not getting together (and no Hyde/Donna, either). :) Kelso's really growing on me. Or maybe it's just Ashton Kutcher's arms. mmmmm...