Note: this is a spoof of Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill, and I mean no disrespect to any of the OTH characters, for I love them all. Originally, since Hammy was my fa-
vorite, I was going to make him the hero. But I don't think it would be wise to let Hammy wield a sword. This also shows my hatred for Cars.

Kill Cars.


RJ led his friends to a candy machine, and as they were crossing the street,
three cars raced down the road. RJ jumped out of the street, and looked in horror as two of the cars ran over his friends. The third was swerved, trying to avoid them, and crashed on the side of the road into a tree. RJ dropped to his knees,
and began crying. Then, he saw a sword that had been thrown out of the third car.
RJ picked it up, and looked at the Car's name on its side: Mater. RJ's sadness then became hatred, as he plotted revenge.

Chapter 1

RJ was hiding in a tree, and with his binoculars, was tracking the other two Cars' movements. He then saw them come by the tree, and jumped down onto the roof of the second Car. RJ sliced his sword all throughout the Car, and ran away as it blew up.
RJ then looked at the final Car, and it raced away. RJ followed.

Chapter 2

RJ looked ahead of him. The Car had gone and hidden in the center of the junkyard. RJ ran through the entrance, when all of the Cars came to life. RJ looked around him, he was surrounded. RJ lifted up his sword, and raced toward the nearest Car. He jumped toward it, and sliced his sword through it in a straight line as he flew over it. The Car split in half, and its headlights went off. RJ then looked at the other Cars, and said,"Bring it on."

RJ watched as every single Car sped toward him, and he jumped into the air.
Five Cars smashed into each other, and RJ then landed on another Car, and stabbed h-
is sword into its engine. RJ jumped away from the Cars, and when the Car blew up,
it caused a chain-reaction, blowing up the rest of the Cars. RJ then saw the one Car remaining: the one he had followed.

Chapter 3

RJ raced toward the Car, and sliced off one of its tires. RJ then raced forward again and sliced off the rest of its tires. The Car's hood opened up,
and fired a wad of oil like a bullet. Time slowed down, and like in The Matrix,
and leaned back as the oil flew over him. Then RJ flipped in the air, and landed onto the Car, his sword stuck in its engine. RJ jumped away as it blew up, and its bumped sticker landed in front of him. He picked it up, and read it: McQueen.
RJ sliced an X over it with his sword.

RJ then noticed the gas tanks in the junkyard, and sliced them all open.
He then picked up a match, lit it, and dropped it.


RJ slowly walked out of the junkyard, as it all blew up behind him.

The End.