Stalker!

By: chocolate rules


A/N: My contribution to the stupid monster challenge. All dialogue. Unbeta'd. For Nid, my BFF, because I can write anything - so booyah! LoL.

Had to pass this through Notepad, if anyone else is having tech probs I think that should work for you, too.!

Celebrating the summer:D


"There has to be some kind of reasonable explanation for this."

"Not everything has a reasonable explanation!"

"It's not following you!"

"Yes it is!"

"No, its not!"

"Yes, It is!"

"No, it's not!"

"You weren't there!"

"And?"

"You didn't see the look he gave me!"

"Oh God here we go again."

"He was following me with his eyes!"

"You are so conceded!"

"Am not!"

"Are too"

"Am not!"

"You think everyone's looking at you. Hate to break it to you, but they're not."

"Yeah, you wish."

"Vain."

"Ass"

"Jerk"

"Bitch"

"Is that it?"

"Fuck! Yes, that's him."

"Where'd he come from?"

"Nowhere! He's evil I tell you!"

"He's all about fun and joy."

"No, that's Santa Clause."

Laughter

"Don't laugh at me!"

"Dude, you're going way too far on this."

"Sure, easy to say. He's not following you!"

"Hey, dumbass, I'm in the car with you."

"So?"

"God, you're hopeless."

"It's not the same thing!"

"Why are you speeding?"

"Hello! Evil being on my ass!"

"That's it! Pull Over!"

"What? Why?"

"This is ridiculous!"

Silence

"PULL OVER!"

"No"

"I'm not going to drive around all through town with you going insane over this!"

"Fine, you wanna walk?"

"I want you to grow up!"

"This has nothing to do with maturity"

"No, it's the lack of it that's sad."

"Asshole"

"Dickwad"

"What?"

"Shut up and pull over"

"Already said no"

"Wasn't a question"

"Who's driving?"

"Control freak"

"Whatever"

"Look, you're going thirty on a twenty five and he's going five!"

"He's stalking me!"

"Can you please take the high road on this?"

"If there was another road, trust me I'd be on it"

Glare "We are sooo not related"

"If only"

"Just, pull over, please, this is insane"

"FINE!"


"Hi, Jeffery is it. Look, I know you weren't following us or anything, but I have this stupid paranoid brother and you were freaking him out just now."

"That Black Chevy there?"

"Yeah, that's him."

"He was just in the park with that little kid"

"Uh, yeah. Hut, you weren't following him here or anything, right? Cause I know this is the main road and all. You probably have no other route to take for a while here."

"I know the back roads"

"Oh, okay."

"He's hot, you know."

"What?"

"Your brother. He's hot"

Silence

"Making me melt. I can't take melting too well, but damn I'll make an exception."

"Oh. My. God"


"So?"

"Sorry"

"I knew it!"

"Wow!"

"What'd he say?"

"Apparently you're hot."

"Told you"

"And you're making him melt"

"Okay, bad pick up line"

"What. Ever."

"So, he was following me. Why the hell's everything stalking me!"

Silence and dumbstruck awe

"First that damn snuggle bitch and now Mr. Soffttee."

"Wow"

"Freaky world we live in"


"Are you going to try and kill him too?"

"Who?"

"Mr. Softee"

"Why would I do that?"

"Cause, you were very determined to find the Snuggles bear and excerize it."

"Yeah, well this is different."

"How?"

"I like his ice cream"

"Sell out"

"Geek"

"Jerk"

"Bitch"

"Mr Softee's whore"

Glare

"Ow!"

"Pansy"

"Hey, does he give you sprinkles for free?"

"You wanna walk?"

"I want ice cream"

"Damn it, me too."

"Hear that?"

"No"

"But, he wants you"

"Shut. Up"

"Come on. You're going to make him cry and salty ice cream really sucks"

"You're taking this too far."

"If you abandon him, then he's going to make sure that no Mr. Softee ever gives you ice cream again. Ever."

"He can't do that"

"They have a network"

"Shut up. No they don't"

"You better hope so."


"Um, can I have a cookie dough sundae?"

"You'd like that wouldn't you"

"What?"

"After what you did to Jeffery."

"Who?"

"Get out of my face! I can't stand to look at you! Next!"


"Stop eating that in my face"

"Told you so"

"I mean it, stop!"

"Mmmm, cookie dough"

"You don't even like cookie dough"

"But you do. And I think I'm getting a taste for it"

"Bitch"

"Mmmmm"

"That's it, we're going back"

"Ah!"

"Haha, that's what you get for eating it so fast"

"Shut up. So, we're going back to find Jeffery?"

"Who's this Jeffery guy?"

"You're stalker"

"Oh. Damn."

"Uhuh"

"What exit?"

End.


A/N 2: And, I don't know if everyone out there knows who Mr. Softee is - he's the ice cream man that plays the ice cream man song and drives around REAL SLOW and you yell at him to stop and then you but ice cream. Yeah, he was soooo following me and my friend the other day and she was like you should write about an evil Mr.Softee. So I did. But he's not that evil, not really. And he stops in front of my house. Spooky.

Please Review:D