A/N: Warning: SLIGHT intense parody 'yaoi' content included!
Disclaimer: I dun own the Naruto series... (I seriously dun know what to type! XD)
Neji walked after Tenten, who was happily looking from left to right, searching for one more item before their adventure back home. The Hyuuga sighed and stopped for a second.
"Neji-kun...?" Tenten looked behind her. Neji snapped back to reality and nodded.
"I'm fine... ano... Tenten-chama? Can I catch up to you in a couple minutes...?"
Tenten cocked her head for a second.
"Nande...?" She asked.
"Well... I..." Neji started, trying to think of something to say. "Oh, nothing... just go on, okay?"
"Well, alright... but, be sure to catch up, kay?" She smiled and leapt off, leaving Neji alone. The Hyuuga sighed and turned.
"...I have this strange feeling that someone already found her diary... and I'm not liking it..." He thought to himself aloud.
"Sasori no Danna... I think we're-"
"Don't say it!"
"But, I really think-"
"I said, DON'T SAY IT!"
"No. We're not."
"Don't... just, don't..."
"We'relostun!" Deidara spluttered really quickly. Sasori twitched.
"...I told you not to say that..."
"But... it's true un... We've passed that same tree twenty-three times now..."
Sasori stopped. He didn't ask anything. He just stopped and gaped at the blonde's stupidity.
"Deidara. All the trees look the same..."
"...yeah, so un?"
"...meaning we've passed twenty-three trees one time..."
Sasori shook his head and walked on, then stopped right before taking his second step. Deidara bumped into him and looked around his shoulder to see what he had stopped at.
"I am super squirrel..." Came a voice from above.
Sasori and Deidara looked around.
"FEAR MY SQUIRRLY WRATH!"
Before the two Akatsuki nin knew what had hit them, a boy in a giant squirrel costume and a bunch of little flying squirrels beside him had swooped down from the unknown and snagged Tenten's diary.
"...who are you?" Sasori asked in a bored, yet surprised, voice to the 'squirrel avenger'.
"I AM NEJI: THE VIBRATING SQUIRREL OF DOOM! FEAR ME!" With that, Hyuuga Neji silently placed a vibrating squirrel plushie on the ground and leapt off into the unknown. Sasori and Deidara were silent as they listened to the soft 'brrrrrr' sound the squirrel was making. The semi-silence was broken when a screaming flash of green whooshed by them.
"GIVE ME BACK MY SQUIRRELS, HYUUGA!" Lee called, leaping after Neji.
Sasori and Deidara just stared on, clearly perplexed by what had just happened.
"...so...un..." Deidara said slowly, breaking the silence.
"..." Was Sasori's response.
"YES, I GOT IT!-!" The Hyuuga yelled, stripping his squirrel costume from his body. He slowly pet the diary in his hands, about ready to cry. "Oh, kami-sama... thank you for life...thank you for fate...thank you for Tenten...thank you for my ultimate squirrel powers...oh! And, thank you for vibrating objects..." He cooed softly, slowly molesting the small book with his hands.
The Hyuuga leapt nearly ten feet in the air and landed reverse sided and hissing. He suddenly stopped hissing when he saw it was Tenten...and that she was twitching.
"Neji-kun...why are you stroking that book?" The weapons mistress wondered, about ready to take a couple steps away. Neji twitched.
"Eheh...wh-what book?" He asked, slightly imitating Salad Fingers with his stroking. Tenten and Neji just looked at each other for a bit.
"Uh..." Tenten said slowly.
"...yeah..." Neji whispered.
"Uh... think we should...go back, maybe?"
"...OH MY GAWD! I LEFT MY HOUSE UNGUARDED WITH AKATSUKI AND...AND...AHHHH!" The Hyuuga suddenly realized, going into a mad-panic. Tenten sighed and did what every good girlfriend would do. She slapped him. Hard.
"...thank...you?" Neji questioned, blinking. Tenten nodded.
"TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!" They both heard the voice of Tobi say off in the distance.
"..." Were their responses.
Back at Neji's house...
Everyone sat around the wide screen with popcorn and sodas, watching and laughing at the fan-made videos they were watching.
"Oh my GAWD!" Itachi cackled, flailing his arms madly and cry-laughing hysterically at the screen. Him and Kisame were now rofling.
"Neji... I-I...can't..." Sasuke stuttered, blushing wildly.
"Don't worry, Sasu-kins... I'll go easy..." Neji's sinister voice sounded.
"O-oh!-! Oh, N-neji! A-ah!" Sasuke moaned. Neji slowly sucked on the Uchiha's cock. "Oh, N-Neji! I-I'm...I'm c-com...coming!"
The crowd howled with laughter. Then, everything went silent.
"What...are...you...WATCHING!-?" Neji growled, an evil aura behind him. He and Tenten were now standing in the doorway. Everyone screamed and leapt about wildly.
"Wow...I never knew you were like that, Neji-kun..." Tenten blinked.
"WHAT!-? Wait a minute, I-"
"Whatever you do..." Itachi came up to Neji looking pissed, then knelt down and held the Hyuuga's hands like he was going to propose. "...I support your relationship one hundred percent..."
Everyone was silent. The crickets slowly chirped.
"...It's not like that...at all..."
Itachi blinked. "It's...not...?"
"...no...those are fan-made..."
Itachi was shocked. "WHAT!-?" He sprung up and struck a dramatic pose. "Fan-made!-? Who the hell makes that kind of shit up!-?"
"...the author of this fic..."
Itachi collapsed. "But... it was...so...BEAUTIFUL!"
Everyone turned to look at the staircase. A chibi Sasuke pranced down the stairs in a night-dress. The second he reached the bottom step, he turned normal again and got this serious look.
"S-Sas...uke...?" Itachi asked. Sasuke let his night dress sleeves fall down his shoulders, revealing a nicely toned chest...except...
"EEEK!" Everyone hollered.
Sasuke...was a hairy beast.
Then, he started singing...
"I'm...too sexy for my shirt-"
"NO!" Everyone hollered as he tried to pull off his shirt.
Neji stole this moment to go upstairs and put the diary he had retrieved in the safe he had bought the previous day (somehow).
"Oh my God... thank you..." The Hyuuga sighed relievedly and slid down on his back to the floor.
Suddenly, a vibrating squirrel of doom flew through Neji's window and landed at his feet, once again vibrating sinisterly and making that soft 'brrrr' sound.
"Eh...?" Neji questioned.
Sasori and Deidara leapt through the window in superhero costumes.
"We are... Konoha's Yellow Flash... RELEASED!" They chimed, a theme song playing interestingly in the background. Neji cringed.
"...dude... both of you need to not dress in spandex...I almost used my byakugan...and you know I altered it recently to see through clothing..."
Deidara and Sasori looked down and realized the wonders of spandex used in the lower areas.
"Oh, snap..." They both blushed wildly and covered their asses.
"YOU SHOULD USE METAL PANTS!" They all heard Sasuke call from downstairs. With that, Deidara and Sasori flew away, crash-landing about ten feet from the window. Neji rolled his eyes as he heard the 'ROAWR' of some foreign cat that had been knocked off it's railing with their descent.
"Well, I'd better go down and get everything in control now..." Neji smiled as he tucked the safe away where no one could find it.
Neji traipsed down the staircase to the first floor to find himself welcomed with a howl of laughter and the pitter-patter of a conga line, Itachi in the lead with a giant bowl of fruit on his head. Had everyone gone utterly insane?
"Join in, mi'boy!" Itachi hollered, his tone raspy like an old mans. "Get off my lawn, you crazy kids!" He added quickly. Neji twitched once and leapt outside through his window, using his super-squirrel powers for the last time.
"How in the world did everything turn out like this...?" The Hyuuga whispered to himself, looking longingly at the star-stricken sky above him. The conga music was still playing loudly from inside the house. He rolled his eyes as he heard the familiar 'Yabadabadoo' of Kisame trying to imitate Fred Flintstone for the umpteenth time that night.
The Hyuuga perked, turning his head around at the speed of light.
Neji and Tenten came nose to nose, both bright red in the last rays of moonlight as the sun became apparent over the horizon. The two looked away embarrassedly.
"Um..." Tenten broke the silence shakily, turning back to Neji with a smile on her face.
"Eheh...Um...yeah..." Neji laughed back, not sure what he was saying. The two stood in awkward silence, neither making a single move.
Neji looked back to her, eyes locked onto each other's. "...thanks...for everything..."
Tenten cocked her head. "Huh?"
"I mean...well..." The Hyuuga smiled. "You've done so much for me...I don't know...I guess I just wanted to say thanks, really..."
Tenten smiled widely. She had never felt happier.
Neji felt her peck a quick kiss on his cheek, making his face flare in blush.
The weapons mistress giggled satisfactorily, seeming to have wanted that reaction. She turned towards him and took hold of his hands, interlocking her fingers with his.
"Neji. You're blushing," She snickered.
Before Neji or Tenten could realize what was happening, a vibrating squirrel plushie was thrown out the window and hit Neji smack in the back of the head, causing him to fall straight into Tenten's lips, a kiss unfolding between the two.
Tenten's eyes struck wide, as did Neji's. The two sprung apart panting, Neji falling over and Tenten grabbing hold of a tree for support.
"Uhh...T-Tenten?" Neji blinked, eyes still wide as saucers.
"...sure..." She whispered with a laugh.
"...betrayed by my own vibrator..." Neji cursed. Tenten looked towards him with a questioning look.
"V-vibrator...?" She gasped. Neji blinked, then suddenly understood.
"N-no! It's not like that! It's...the squirrel...and...it...um...!"
"MINE!" Lee and Gai swooped down from the treetops and stole Neji's "vibrator" from the ground, flying off once more.
"...does anyone else get the feeling this is getting a bit strange...?" Neji asked, wondering how in hell two nin could swoop down from the unknown then be gone. Genjutsu, maybe?
"Let's go inside?" Tenten asked, holding out her hand to the Hyuuga, who was still flat on the ground.
"Sure," Neji took hold and felt her pull him to his feet.
The sun was now well-risen, the party still raving inside. Didn't they ever quit?
A/N: Damn...is this fic ever going to end?...lol...review, please? And sorry it took so long...eheh...
Btw...I'm not dead... o.o! whoo? Hope I didn't lose any fans... T.T And...
ZOMFHSG!-!-!-!-!-!-!-! THE FILLERS ENDED!-!-!-!-!-!-!-! O.O!-!-!-!