The End of Yesterday's Tomorrow
Disclaimer: Teen Titans isn't mine never has been never will be. The characters belong to their respective owners but I'm sure you knew that.
Warnings: Nothing too explicit. Angst warning. That is all.
Raven sat in her room, as she always did, alone as she always was, deep in meditation. The house was, for once quite, and she planned to take full advantage of the situation. Robin and Starfire were out on a mission that apparently only required two people aka they wanted some alone time and Cyborg was out helping Titans East with a technical problem. This meant that everyone was gone, well everyone except for…
"Hey Raven wanna play Tekken? I got the new one!" came the uninvited voice of Beast Boy as he marched into her room as was his habit lately.
She did everything in her considerable power to ignore him but his voice tore through her calm. He was now 17 and well past his 'voice cracking stage' but through the change it never lost its grating quality. She sighed resigned to the fate of having to talk to the boy and opened her eyes. He stood before her in his usual purple and black holding the aforementioned game. Even though in the last few years she had grown a few inches she was now the shortest member of the team since his growth spurt made him the tallest next to Cyborg, making looking up at him rather strenuous.
"You know I come in my room and close my door on purpose, it's not an accident." She said struggling to keep her steady rage under control.
"Yeah I know but I figure you do it cause you don't know there are better things to do." He said with a smile.
Raven calmly stood bringing herself face to chest with her comrade, "Listen I like being in here understand? I LIKE my room! What I do not like is being harassed to play games you KNOW you can beat me at."
"You'll never get any better unless you practice."
Did he even hear anything I said? She thought fiercely, then suddenly realizing that she was being sucked into the maddening vortex that was Beast Boy she shook her head and sat back down.
"Look I don't want to play anything ok?"
"Awww come on Ray! Hey how about this if you win I won't make another sound for the rest of the day."
Her eye shot open, "Do you swear?"
"Scouts honor!" he said while making the symbol for rock 'n roll.
Raven weighed her options, listening to him whine and get nothing done or play relatively quiet video games and get nothing done with the possibility of parole, "See you in the game room."
He gave a leap of joy and dashed out into the hall, Raven sighed heavily and followed. By the time she got there he had already started the game and selected his character. Raven sad down and selected a character she could have sworn was Bruce Lee and started to play…and got thrashed every single time. On the upside Beast Boy was so into trying to thrash a novice he was silent which was a victory of sorts for her.
"Come on Ray you aren't even trying!"
Damn he noticed! She though moodily, "I told you I don't want to play!"
"You can control the powers of hell but you can't make Law do a back flip? I don't buy it, you could do it if you tried just thinking of all the peace and quiet you'll get if you win."
"I'm thinking of all the peace and quiet I'd get if I sent you to another dimension." She grumbled.
"Jeez just…" it was then that the alarm went off throughout the tower bathing everything in a red light.
Raven had never been so grateful for criminals in her life, the screen blanked out and blinked back to life showing them the location of the disturbance. She flew off without waiting for him to follow and made a beeline for her destination.
The location was the docks, some halfwit was on one of the ships screaming about how rich he was now. Raven flew down to see someone she had never seen before dressed as Robin. Upon seeing her he took out a weapon that looked like a cereal box boomerang and threw it at her. It was made of hard plastic and may have mildly hurt had he not thrown it like a 90 year old woman having a heart attack.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos." Was all it took to sent the imposter flying.
As the fake Robin lay sprawled out over several crates by the water, Beast Boy came running up as a cheetah before morphing back to his usual form.
"Geez you could have waited!" he panted.
"And you could have stayed home this guy was a total…"
The plastic toy exploded sending everyone and everything in different directions; Raven didn't have enough time to erect a barrier was knocked out cold by the blast and thrown forcefully into the water. Beast Boy became a turtle last minute and was only thrown back a few feet but upon seeing Raven fall lifelessly into the water he felt his stomach drop to his knees. He jumped up and dove in after her making himself a dolphin and leading her to the surface as soon as he could. Changing back to normal again he pulled her out of the water and looked around frantically for help, but no one was there that wasn't badly injured themselves. Panicked he looked down at Raven and saw that she was not breathing. Like a small child he danced around wondering if he should leave and try and find help or stay.
Not knowing what else to do he tried shaking her, "Come on Ray wake up!" he whined.
When she didn't respond he grabbed his hair and tugged at it helplessly when a thought hit him; Mouth to Mouth…Argh! No way she'd KILL me! He cried to himself. He looked at her again, she looked quite dead, her face was turning very blue and the rest of her was unusually pale. She was dieing in front of his eyes, her life was slowly ebbing away and he was just sitting there. With a growl of resignation he wiped his mouth, pinched her nose and blew air into her lungs. He couldn't help but notice with a blush how soft her lips were…he pushed this thought from his mind as he began to press the water out of her lungs he felt a panic well up within him as she seemed to not be responding. What if he was doing it wrong? What if he was making it worse?
He put his lips to hers and blew and at that moment her eyes shot open and he got a mouthful of seawater. Raven sat up coughing and gasping for air, her face began to gain, or loose depending on how you look at it, some of its former color. Beast Boy was almost in tears by the time she turned to him.
"What?" she asked weakly.
He swept her up in a hug that could have put a bear to shame, "Raven you're alive I was so scared!"
"Okay okay put me down!" she snapped.
He obliged and she did her best to straighten her robes, "Are you alright?" he asked looking her over.
"Yeah I'm fine." She said taking a step and proving herself a liar by falling down. "Well I am a little winded." Was all she said before she passed out.
"Aaah Raven!" he screamed running up to her, but upon closer inspection he saw that she was resting not dead. He vaguely remembered Robin telling him something about her healing herself this way.
He let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding and picked her up in his arms. A quick glance around showed him that the wannabe Robin had gotten away, not that it mattered there was noting else he could do about it anyway, but wonder why a grown man would dress as Robin and try and steal something from a ship. Whatever the reason it could wait until the others returned to address it.
As he carried her he noticed how small she was compared to him, she had always been smaller than him but in his arms and unconscious she seemed so frail. She had allowed her hair to grow out and it framed her face making it seem paler in comparison. He had never told her but he like her hair long it made her look kind of angelic… that thought snapped him out of his stupor making him realize that he had been staring at her the entire time he had been walking. Shaking his head fiercely he carefully put her on his back, became a pterodactyl and flew off towards the tower.
The first thing she saw was light and then a face…Beast Boy? No… Robin. Robin? He was away with Starfire… that meant…
"AzarathMetrionZinthos" she blurted.
Her eyes hadn't focused and her aim was off causing someone next to the fake Robin to go flying through the ceiling.
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Raven it's us!" shouted, what she recognized now as, the real Robin.
"Wha…when did you get back?" she asked rubbing her head, she could not remember anything after the blast.
"Two days ago. You've been out for almost a week."
"Huh?" She looked around and saw the relieved faces of Starfire and Cyborg next to him.
"Who took care of me?"
"Beast Boy, he's taken care of you the whole time, He called us right after your accident and we all returned as soon as we could."
"Where is he?"
"Uh…" said Cyborg looking up at the hole in the ceiling.
"Oh." She said blushing hotly. "Right."
"He'll be fine he's been through worse." Laughed Cyborg.
His voice had become deeper over the years and his laugh was a rich and pleasant sound rather than the rash boyish laughter he used to make. Otherwise he was unchanged except in height, he had made himself taller just so Beast Boy would not technically be the tallest.
Robin smiled at the joke and offered her his hand to help her up, she stood carefully feeling better by the second. Starfire stood next to him trying not to look like she had spent the last couple of days attached to Robin's face but her disheveled clothes and hair just made her innocent act look silly, she had grown into quite the curvaceous woman and one that had no confusion on how to use them. Robin was attractive and muscular and, like everyone else, taller, the top of her head came just up to his chin. He had let his hair grow a bit but it was still the spiky mess it had always been and he still had his mask and cape which kept him looking like the small boy he used to be no matter how much he changed. Yet with all these changes between the two of them neither of them seemed to have become acute enough to know that ALL their comrades knew they a couple, even the Titans East knew, hell even Slade and the Hive Five knew.
With a quiet word of thanks she left and walked to her room, and happily sat on her bed to meditate. The house was silent for now and Beast Boy was probably unconscious somewhere so she decided to take advantage of this. The world around her was tuned out and she let herself drift into the dark quiet recesses of her mind. It was like being in outer space, there was no feeling, there was no sound, there was only her. Time was a mere concept and an unimportant one at that, in this nothingness she floated until something interrupted her. It wasn't external but it came from somewhere within her, the feeling was slightly painful and a little aggravating, this feeling broke her concentration enough for an errant memory to rise to the source. In the nothingness she could see the memory like a film that was out of focus. Curious as to what it was she allowed her self to drift to it, but even though she got incredibly close it was still too fuzzy to see. Now she was very curios about what memory in her mind had been strong enough to break into her meditation. She floated around it pondering what it could be and weighing the dangers, in this sort of meditative state entering ones memories was not the same as merely recalling them while fully awake. Doing this would be like reliving the incident and Raven could think of many powerful memories that she would never want to relive. However none of them had ever broken her meditation before they had merely made it hard or impossible to achieve a true meditative state. This one was the first to break it outright. There was also a possibility that this memory was particularly traumatic and if that was the case then she could end up in a coma.
She gave the matter a few more moments of thought and then, deciding she could handle it, pushed herself into the memory. Immediately she felt pain and then shockingly cold numbing out the previous burning sensation. All she could see was blue and a bright light above which she assumed was the sun, the air was choked out of her lungs was water replaced it. She realized with a panic that this was what had happened earlier at the pier, she had been unconscious during this before but some part of her brain had remember the events. Trapped in this unconscious body she was like a passenger on a sinking ship, she watched her body turn from the light and towards the oceans depths and her eyes slowly closed casting the area her consciousness was in into total darkness. There was a feeling of being pulled and then the cool touch of air passed over her skin but none came into her lungs. In the endless time that passed Raven wondered what the hell Beast Boy had been doing while she lay there. In the distance she could here his voice, he was whining about something, but she could not tell what. Soon even his voice was completely gone and an eerie feeling of cold nothingness enveloped her. This nothingness was different than meditation, it was consuming and scary, it made her feel light and heavy at the same time, with a start she understood that it was the feeling of death. There was no white light, no tunnel, just a slow fade into nothing. She felt cold like ice, everything was numb and panic began to set in when all of a sudden something warm touched her lips, and on her icy body it felt almost hot. Warm air filled her lungs and was then pushed out then the feeling of heat on her lips again. Without any warning the water that had been lying dormant in her chest stirred and her eyes shot open. In that instant she realized that her lips were touching Beast Boy's, she knew it was CPR, but it was too close to a kiss for her liking. What made it even worse was it wasn't even half bad. The mood was broken for her however by the rush of water from her lungs and into his mouth, but even when that happened the look of relief and joy never left his face. The memory suddenly started to fade and as the last few seconds played she saw for the first time that his face was quite handsome. The memory ended and she was ejected straight back into reality, putting her face to face with the last person she wanted to see. She gasped half from being throw into full consciousness so abruptly and half because Beast Boy was inches within her face.
He jumped back a little from sudden movement and immediately looked ashamed, "Hey um Raven? Sorry for coming into your room without permission, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You gave me a couple of scares before the others got here to help…" he said shyly looking at the floor as he childishly shifted his feet.
If he had been looking at her he would have seen her face was beet red. Her heart was racing at three times normal speed and she felt a little dizzy. What bothered her more than that was that she knew it was not entirely due to being thrown into consciousness.
"I'm fine you can go." She said suddenly.
"Oh, sorry for busting in." he said turning to leave.
"Uh, Beast Boy?"
"Yeah?" he said turning hopefully.
"Sorry for…you know, blasting you through the roof…" she mumbled.
"Aw shucks you've hit me with worse." He laughed.
His smile hit her in the chest like he had thrown a rock, it was literally like a physical blow. Her breathing became more shallow and her head got light again. The moment the door closes behind him she shook her head hard, What is wrong with me? Whatever it is it's serious! She thought, a little angry at herself for letting her emotions run errant like that. This was one that she couldn't control because she had no idea what it was…no idea what it was…That's it!
She leapt up and raced to her dresser and grabbed her mediation mirror, it was a new emotion so it must be lurking in her mind somewhere. If she could find it and get to know it better she could keep it under control. Relieved that she had a possible solution she touched the mirror was pulled into it leaving her room empty and dark.
The first thing she noticed upon arrival was that several of her emotions were all gathered around her landing point presumably to meet her. Upon closer inspection they were arguing with each other, Logic and Love seemed to be at the center of the debate with Shyness standing off to the side. Aloof and Fear and Caution were also there but they seemed to be merely observing.
"Hey what's going on in here?" she asked no one in particular.
"What's going on? What's going on! I have no idea!" screeched Fear, "We are all gonna die! This is freakin' insane."
Deciding she wasn't the one to talk to Raven looked at Aloof and guess how that conversation would go so she steered herself towards Caution instead.
"What's happening here?"
"We have a new arrival it seems."
"Who is it?"
She shrugged, "No idea, she's been causing a bit of a commotion though."
"Yeah I noticed. What are they arguing about?"
"Well Logic is saying that this whole thing stinks of Love and Love is saying that affects of this magnitude are not within her power. Shyness is trying to get them to stop fighting, but you know that's a lost cause."
"What do you think."
"Well Logic is right, the increased heart rate and that one errant memory that was unimportant yet that powerful, sounds like Love to me."
Raven felt her chest tighten and Fear had a freak out session next to her, "In LOVE with BEAST BOY!"
Her outburst brought Love and Logic out of their argument, "Impossible right? That's what I said." Logic huffed marching over to Raven.
Love trailed behind frantically trying to explain herself, "Listen I know it looks like me but it's not, Raven you know me I have never done anything like this right? You know why? Because I can't!"
"Then what on earth possibly could?"
Love scratched her head and thought for a moment, "Hmmm, no clue."
"Arg! I HATE not knowing!" randomly screamed Fear turning to Raven she finished dramatically, "That's why I called you here in the first place!"
Raven shook her head, "Where are the others?"
"Looking for the noob." Said Cockiness as she arrived from behind them, "But they won't find her 'cause I already did."
"Take me to her." Ordered Raven.
"My pleasure, follow me guys and try to keep up."
She led them down several long trails and to an area Raven had never seen before. It was a large cave structure that looked you could see it from anywhere in their world, leaving her wondering how she could have missed it this whole time.
They entered the cave and walked down a long dark passageway that emptied out into the largest brightest room Raven had ever seen. Even Happiness' domain wasn't as vibrant. The walls were like Mother of Perl and the furniture was made of crystal that reflected the colorful light of the wall back out in amazing patterns. The room was furnished like a living room and on the couch sitting as though she had been waiting was the new arrival.
Raven approached carefully and felt the breath leave her body when the new arrival turned to face her. The girl looked nothing like her; she was beautiful, she was the most beautiful thing Raven had ever seen. Sure they fundamentally looked alike but this girl was very different, her skin was thin and so pale it almost glowed, their eyes were the same color, but hers shone with a life and vibrancy she had never seen in her own. Her hair was smooth and looked soft and light as a feather. She was much thinner than Raven, but not to the point of looking unhealthy so and the smile on her face looked wholly natural and in place.
"Hello you must be Raven." She said he voice was like warm milk before bed or laying in the sunshine in a grassy field.
"Wha…" was all she could think to say.
The girl stood and she noticed that her robes were unlike everyone else's they swirled with all kinds of colors and each time she moved the dominant color changed, "I'm True Love."
"Huh?" they all said in unison.
The new arrival giggled softly and everyone found themselves in awe of this person wanting desperately to hear that calming sound again.
"How…uh, Why…When did…"Raven fumbled.
"What do you mean you're true love? We already have love!" snapped Logic.
"Yes but Love is the emotion felt for those that are important to Raven, Cyborg Robin, Satrfire, Raven loves them all but none of them have called me into being. I am someone who can be destroyed and replaced or reborn unlike the rest of you. I also am only active concerning one person."
"Please don't tell me it's Beast Boy." Said Fear with a quiver in her voice.
"Of course it is, he is why I have been created."
"Aww SHIT I KNEW it!"
"Wait, Wait what about this place? How long has it been here?" asked Raven.
"It was created with me through a powerful memory."
"I knew we shouldn't have looked in that thing!" screamed Fear.
"Wait that memory is what triggered this?" said Raven feeling panic and wishing she didn't so Fear would shut up.
"Yes and no. It's true that memory built this place suddenly, but it was being built anyway slowly and over time. That event just set us ahead a few years."
"Please tell me you're kidding!" Fear whined practically in tears.
"How in the world could we love him? I mean he's…he's…he's Beast Boy!" Logic stammered.
True Love gave that melodious laugh of hers taking some of the tension out of the air, "That's exactly why I love him."
Those words totally freaked Raven out sending Fear running from the cave screaming at the top of her lungs.
"I don't really have time to deal with this now but for the moment could you do me a favor and stop with the heart racing crap?" Raven said, the anxiety evident in her voice.
"Afraid not, with my mortality I am granted the ability to act on my own." She said punctuating her sentence with a sugar sweet smile.
"Oh I SO don't need this." Groaned Raven.
"Eh nothing we can't handle." Said Cockiness with a yawn.
Aloof spoke up for the first time since Raven arrived, "Look not that I care but why are you hell bent on getting Raven all emotional?"
"I'm not, but when he's around I just can't help it."
"You're new here so maybe you don't know the deal but…"
"Your powers are controlled by emotions. I know, I know everything about you Raven, more than any other emotion here. I am the very voice of your heart. I have technically existed within you your entire life but I have been unable to have a more solid place with you because you would not let yourself close enough to anyone. My existence isn't as bad as you thing it simply means you are becoming a woman, without having met me at least once in you life you could never fully mature. This is just a necessary part of life."
"But I mean come on Beast Boy?" said Logic.
"Yes, Beast Boy."
"What if I refuse." Said Raven defiance in her eyes. "What if I refuse to accept him as my true love."
She laughed once again, "You can if you want but being stubborn only amplifies my affects."
"Well see about that." Raven Growled as she marched out of the cave and made her way determinedly out of the mirror.
When she was younger she had been told by her mother that any emotion could be denied and suppressed even if you couldn't exterminate it. It may lead to unhappiness later but for her powers to work it had to be done. She would prove to herself and 'True Love' that she could do anything she put her mind to. She burst out of the mirror and purposefully marched to Beast Boy's room to yell at him for…something, she didn't know what yet and decided to figure it out once she got there. She would prove that she was no slave of emotions.
She slammed his door open and saw him standing in front of his mirror pulling his shirt off. Her eyes went straight to his well muscled chest and her face went completely red. He noticed her standing there did a goofy Power Ranger-like pose flexing his muscles.
"Like what you see?" he asked, obviously joking.
Raven however couldn't respond, she felt slightly dizzy, as a result of all the stimulus a bit of her power leaked out of her control and threw the door straight at his head. Luckily he ducked in time, barely missing decapitation.
"Dude I was just kidding!" He squeaked from behind his dresser.
Flustered Raven stormed away wishing to throttle True Love, she marched into the recreation room where Robin and Starfire were pretending to observe the night sky. Obviously she had walked in on something and she didn't care. She moodily threw herself on the couch and started watching television hoping something good and distracting was on.
Starfire took her eyes off their 'enthralling stargazing' and for the first time took notice of Raven's mood. She quietly told Robin she would meet him later but not without a parting kiss.
She approached Raven slowly and sat next to her contemplating what to say, she came up with, "Are you not feeling well friend?"
"No." was her only reply.
"May I ask what is the matter?"
"No." she snapped ignoring the hurt look on Starfire's face knowing that the girl was too thick skinned to truly be hurt by that.
"Is it your stomach that is causing you the trouble?"
Starfire nodded and adopted a contemplative look, "Maybe you are upset with someone?"
She thought some more, "Maybe something has happened while we were away?"
As she said this, the feel of his lips on her mouth worked its way to the front of her mind. Her face went hot again and this time the television blew up, angrily she stood and started out the door.
"Dammit Starfire I'm mad and I don't want to talk about it!"
Unphased Starfire followed her into the hallway, "Please friend if we are to talk about your anger maybe you will fell better. I know it works for me." She said hopefully.
Raven stopped and rounded on her, "I'm not mad at anyone! I'm just…" she faltered and found herself blushing a little.
Seeing this Starfire's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, "You are in love!"
The 'L' word sent her heart on a trip to her throat and abruptly every light in the hallway exploded. Hastily Raven slapped her hand over Star's mouth and dragged her into the nearest room which happened to be the briefing room.
"Do not say that!" She snapped furiously, but Starfire was unabashed.
"You ARE in love! Oh friend this is wonderful! Who is it that you are feeling the affection for?"
"Starfire please listen when I say I don't want to talk about it."
"Oh, he does not feel the same?"
"No it's not that I just can't fall in love, the lights and the TV are just the beginning if this keeps up the whole tower will be trashed!"
"I must know! Who this young man is you feel the affection for."
Raven's face went red again and she could not look Starfire in the eye, "Said I don't wanna talk about it." She muttered.
Suddenly she felt a change in atmosphere and a green glow told her she had ruffled Starfire's feathers "It's not Robin I swear!"
Her eyes returned to normal and her way to happy smile reappeared, "Then is it Cyborg?"
"What? No he likes Jinx anyway look Starfire if you are a true friend you will drop this."
Starfire ignored her and rambled on, "Well I don't think it would be anyone of Titans East meaning it is someone here….That just leaves…I know! You love Beast Boy!"
Every light bulb Titan Tower simultaneously exploded.
In the ensuing darkness Raven heard, "So I am correct!" without warning she was swept up into the excited alien's arms and squeezed like a small child, "I am so happy you have…." She was finally silenced by the black light that was growing around Raven.
"Starfire I will only say this one time. DO. NOT. EVER. TELL. ANYONE. Do you understand? No one, not Robin, not Cyborg and ESPECIALLY not Beast Boy. Are we clear?"
She nodded meekly, though the slight smile that was still on her face made Raven wonder about her sincerity. "I understand."
"I really mean it Starfire."
They were interrupted by the sound of the door opening; Robin, Cyborg and Beast Boy were there with flashlights.
"Are you two ok?" asked Robin.
"Fine." Said Raven.
"I am most glorious." Chimed Starfire.
Raven sulked out of the room and wondered how that girl always managed to pry everything and anything out of her.
She said she would control herself and, control herself she did, by completely avoiding Beast Boy altogether. Starfire tried on my occasions to get her to take the direct approach and ask him out on a date, but after their third blackout and Silky's near death by a fan blade she accidentally flung, Starfire learned the folly of her ways. Ignoring the issue, as was predicted, only made it worse, she couldn't meditate properly anymore every time she would try unwanted images popped up in her mind and they became more and more explicit until she had to give up meditation entirely to get any remote piece of mind. This didn't totally expel him from her thoughts, everything she did started to remind her of him and it was just plain aggravating. She had to spend every free moment in the basement and change hiding spots every few days because inevitably Starfire would find her and blurt out where she was to the others 'accidentally'. She refused to admit to herself that she was hiding from Beast Boy and subsequently everyone he might hang around. During missions she fought fast and hard so she could fly straight home and disappear. She hadn't gone back inside the mirror since the last incident knowing no matter how much she pleaded nothing would change.
One evening as she sat in the darkest recess of the Titan basement she began to wonder how long she could keep up avoiding the others, it was not only stupid it was…well...boring. She had read every book in her library four rimes over and it had only been a month. As lay back on her makeshift bed of blankets she wondered if being away from him this long had weakened the effect.
Then, as if the punch line to some cosmic joke his face appeared in front of hers. Her heart skipped a beat and this time her face went nuclear, every object within a yard of her ended up buried deep into the walls and every light for a mile burst into a fine powder.
Beast Boy had dodged the blast and stood holding a flashlight, apparently unconcerned with her outburst, "Though that had something to do with you."
"Leave me alone!" she snapped.
Her anger faded as she saw how hurt he looked, "What did I do to make you hate me? I thought we were doin' good ya know?" he said sadly rubbing the back of his head.
"I don't hate you." She said unable to look into his eyes.
"Then what is it? I mean everyone else can talk to you, but when you see me you jet! Not only that but you keep throwing things at me!" he shouted tears filling his eyes. He rubbed them as though he was jut removing dust and did his best not to tear up again.
She was still unable to meet his eyes, "I…I can't tell you."
While she was not looking he got right in her face and looked into hers, "Yes you can."
He was close enough to smell, and while he used to smell like tofu and old socks he now had an animal musk that was not at all unpleasant, "I'm sorry, but trust me I can't." she said scrambling backwards.
He did not allow her to put the distance between them and soon had her backed against the wall.
"Ray I know we haven't always gotten along, and I know I'm not cool or funny or anything, but I thought we were at least friends. What changed?" his face was the most serious she had ever seen.
It took every ounce of willpower she possessed to keep her power in check, "Nothing changed!"
"Don't lie! I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."
"I CAN'T!" she screamed. Her body shook and her heart was pounding so loudly she had a hard time hearing anything over it.
He looked at her for a moment and then moved away, she almost had a chance to feel relief until she saw he had just moved back to sit directly in front of her.
"What are you doing?"
"I said I wasn't going to go until you tell me why you are avoiding me."
"Then I'll go." She said flatly and stood to leave.
As she walked past him he grabbed her arm, surprised by this she stumbled and fell into his lap; this coincided with the Titan Tower loosing its roof. Raven reflexively sent out an energy wave to push him away but he held on, the blast hurt like a fist to the gut but his resolve was concrete.
"Just tell me." He said sadly.
She looked into his sincere face and found it hard not to just hug him and cry and tell him everything, but if she let her emotions go like that there would be bad consequences.
"Can you just believe me when I say that I can't tell you. It's not something you did I swear."
"No way, you obviously told Starfire 'cause she's been giving me all these weird cryptic Tameranian sayings everyday for weeks. What's so special that you can tell her and not me."
"I am going to kill her." She grumbled.
"I …..Beast Boy I ….love you…." She said, so softly even his keen ears almost missed it.
"Is that all? I knew that! I love you too..."
For a moment time froze.
"We all love you Raven you're our friend and we know you love us."
Time came crashing to a start.
"You thick-headed primate!" she screamed.
This time the blast she gave off threw him across the room and she marched angrily out the door.
"Aww man now whud I do?" He whined to himself
It was totally dark in the room and she was the only one in it but if the lights had been blindingly bright and it had been full to the brim Starfire would have known who Raven was talking to.
"What is the matter Raven?" she asked innocently.
"You sent him down there didn't you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Starfire I EXPLICITLY asked you to NOT tell anyone ESPECIALLY not Beast Boy and the FIRST person you talk to IS BEAST BOY! "
"I told him nothing of your love for him." She said earnestly.
Somewhere across the lake a little boy's favorite stuffed animal was ripped to shreds.
"You have been trying to!"
"I have merely been encouraging him to not be deterred by your apparent distaste for him. He was disheartened by your hiding."
"What about my hiding from him made you think telling him where I was a GOOD idea."
"What will you do Raven? Spend your entire life hiding from him? We are a team and we are friends; friends do not hide from each other."
"Starfire this is an emotion I cannot control! This place falls apart every time someone says….you know… and whenever he is near me we loose an important piece of our home!"
"Maybe so, but will it matter if you tell him? Maybe confessing will make it easier to control."
"I'm afraid to tell him." She said plainly.
"It's time to try something besides hiding."
Starfire for once was totally right and Raven was totally wrong, hiding was stupid and she had never been one to hide. She would just tell him and more than likely the novelty of it all would wear off. Now determined she set off to find Beast Boy, she checked in the basement, but he was not there, she tried the recreation room, his bedroom, the workout room, ultimately she ended up searching every room, but one and when she realized which one she felt stupid for not trying it sooner.
The door to the sick bay opened with the soft hiss of air, the many medical machines that littered the room lit the area with an eerie green and blue glow in the absence of regular lights. She took a deep calming breath before stepping into the room There is nothing to be afraid of.
Beast Boy sat on one of the beds bandaging up his elbow, he was dressed only in his boxers and she could see a large bruise on is stomach. When she came in he looked up, she expected him to be fearful, but he looked relieved.
"I'm sorry about earlier, you didn't want to talk and I forced you. Guess I gotta lot of nerve talking about us being friends with me being a big jerk."
"No I was being unreasonable and I realized it for the first time today. I was afraid to tell you the truth. I guess I'm really bad at admitting when I'm afraid."
"What about you loving us and all?"
She shook her head sharply, "No! I don't love everyone, not like this."
He gave her a look that directly mimicked the face of a confused puppy, "Huh?"
Ever since she had faced her feelings for Beast Boy she had done a lot of stupid things, but this was the first time in her entire life that any feeling completely overrode her personal wishes and forced her to act on its' will. In a few short steps she was next to him and in a quick movement that totally horrified her she took his face in her hands and kissed him. She had no idea how long it lasted but it felt like eternity cramped into a tiny section of time, she wanted to pull away but she was too busy enjoying it. When they finally broke apart she found that she was panting heavily and so was he and it had little to do with shortness of breath.
"I love you, as in I'm in love with you. That's why I have to stay away from you." She said turned to try and leave but as she suspected it wouldn't be that easy.
He blocked her path with an unreadable look on his face, "Wait! What do you mean I love you and I have to stay away? That makes no sense! If you're worried I won't return your feelings don't be. I've loved you that way for a long time…" he said getting quieter as he admitted his feelings, "But since we first met I thought you hated me and early on you kind of crept me out so I started to think of you just tolerating me was impossible. Then we became actual friends and I was so happy that you thought that highly of me to consider me a friend. I just never imagined that someone as pretty as you would ever think of me as more than that, that's why I just didn't get you at first." By the time he finished he was blushing severely.
"I am happy to hear that you like me as well but you don't get it, this kind of love is strong and uncontrollable, I can't keep my powers under control when I'm around you."
"So you're going to just pretend that you don't like me?"
"No, already tried that hence the blowout. I thought telling you might help, but it doesn't," If anything it's worse, "I'm going to look into my books and try to find a way to seal it."
"I won't let you do it." He said seriously with a determined look on his face.
"Please don't be like this…"
"Then you shouldn't have told me, there's no way I'm gonna let the prettiest girl on the team tell me she loves me then throw that feeling away."
She was a little shocked by that, everyone usually referred to Starfire as the prettiest and her as the weirdest, "If I don't everyone could be in danger. The damage has been relatively minor, but it could get worse, much worse."
"You're scared again, that's ok, but don't try and run from me 'cause I'll chase you. Besides you know that saying 'Better to have loved some moss than to never have shopped at the mall'…or something."
"This was a mistake." She growled and tried to move around him and get to the door but he blocked her again.
"You can't be that stubborn!"
"Yes I can and you know it! Besides I know you wanna kiss me again." He said and took the liberty of doing it himself.
Her mind told her to break free and make the rest of his body match his stomach but instead she leaned into his arms and wondered what it was about him that made her knees weak. The thought of not feeling this way anymore saddened her a little, it was kind of nice to be emotional every once in a while even if it meant Cyborg would be changing light bulbs until his dieing day.
For the first time in a long time Raven sat in her own room and looked into her meditation mirror. It was still difficult to meditate regularly, for the most part she could keep things peaceful, but after a while the entire meditative process would be a mental smutfest staring her and Beast Boy so when that happened she called it a day.
Today she decided to brave facing True Love again and see how the others were really doing. She was quite confused about how she truly felt about everything and this was the best way to sort things out. There was a brief feeling of weightlessness and she was inside.
This time she noticed that the dark clouds had dissipated and sunlight was shining through. With a frown she walked the path she had taken to get to the cave. She found it right where it had been, but it was more vibrant and colorful than it had been the last time and if possible True Love looked even more radiant. Inside with her were Logic and another whom she had seen before but couldn't quite recall. Off in a far corner cowered Fear, she looked a little more crazed than usual and was feverishly sucking her thumb. Ignoring this she went to join the others conversation.
"I'm telling you we shouldn't get involved." Said Logic.
"Oh please this is the best thing that ever happened to us. Right dearie?"
Upon hearing that pet name she recognized the emotion; Sexuality, they hadn't seen each other in quite some time.
"How have you been it's been too long hasn't it!" she squealed and leapt up to give her a hug. When she did Raven was allowed to see that her collar was cut down to her waist totally exposing her midriff and everything below the belt was practically a g-string.
"Ugh, what do you want?" She asked; this was one particular emotion that always made her uncomfortable.
"Why to speak to the new arrival of course, she just loves all my ideas. I mean kissing and shy looks are all well and good dearie but it's been a week already and he's a man I think it's time to step things up."
"Do you HEAR yourselves?" screamed Fear as she burst from her corner marching up on Sexuality looking positively rabid. "Have you all eaten stupid pills! Am I the ONLY one that sees how dangerous this is! He could die! Worse yet WE could die! True love my ass, you have put EVERYONE in danger!"
"Fear don't worry I would never do anything to harm my beloved."
"What are you talking about you hurt him TWICE last week!"
"No the first time was you and the second time it was Anger. Nothing I did ever hurt him or anyone else, and that was on purpose."
Fear had no reply to that so she returned to her corner and continued sucking her thumb.
"As I was saying maybe we need to step this whole relationship up a notch." Said Sexuality as though she had heard nothing Fear said.
"I like things just the way they are." said Raven.
"No you don't you must admit you do wish for more." Said True Love.
"But not on the basis that we've only been dating a week." Logic snarled at Sexuality, she merely shrugged at the jibe.
"That is true, but Raven you must be careful, I'm afraid that with my arrival Sexuality has been given more power and will be harder to control. Actually the balance of power for all of your emotions will be shifting keep that in mind."
"Knew I shouldn't have come here." Raven growled angrily to herself.
True Love laughed softly, "Just because you don't come here does not make the truth less true."
"Yeah I know!" snapped Raven as she left for the exit before she got any more 'good news', but before she could get out she was stopped by a voice. She turned to see Caution running up behind her.
"Raven, come here for a moment!" she whispered as she waved her to a small crevice in a nearby rock fixture.
Raven pondered whether she even wanted to know whatever it was she wanted to say, however upon remembering True Love's words on the truth she shrugged and went in anyway knowing it would make no difference.
She slipped into the cramped crevice to see Caution looking absolutely scandalous, "Did anyone follow you?" she asked.
Raven looked dramatically around the three inches of space that remained for a possible intruder, "I don't think so."
"I mean it, I could be in trouble for telling you this."
"Telling me what?"
"What none of the others want you to know. Fear is totally right things are out of hand."
"What do you mean everything looks fine."
"Yeah at a first glance it does, but it's not. Only two of us see the whole picture and that is Fear and me; Fear is too much of a chicken to address the issue and they're on to me."
"Hmm okay can we skip to the part where you tell me what you are talking about?"
"True Love! That's what I'm talking about!" she whispered fiercely. "She is thoroughly upsetting the power balance!"
"Yeah I know she told me things would get a little off, but it's nothing I can't handle, besides I can always seal her up if things get out of hand but for now I kinda wanna enjoy this."
Caution shook her head solemnly, "You don't get it at all, first you can't seal her it's far too late for that. Maybe you could have at first but now there is no way."
"What do you mean?" asked Raven slightly alarmed.
"Haven't you noticed the sky? How clear and sunny it is? The ground is softer and the nightmare creatures can only be found in Sadness' sector. She did it all of it, to seal her you would have to seal this entire area leaving you an emotionless zombie. Second, maybe she did tell you there would be a power shift but did she tell you why?"
"It's her she is the one granting power to the other emotions!"
"Yes and what's worse is she is picking some rather dangerous friends to grant it to."
"How is that possible?"
"Apparently her capacity for loving him is endless meaning endless power, Anger Sadness, Happiness, we all have power granted to us by life experience and even then it's a limited amount and that's only if you let it affect us. She on the other hand comes with an unlimited supply and gives it quite freely to those she likes and I will warn you now she REALLY likes Sexuality."
Raven groaned in exasperation.
"Trust me that's not the worst of your problems, she is also quite close with Doubt, Sadness and Happiness, those three I know for a fact have gotten at least five times more powerful. What's worse it others like Logic are losing their standing, no one listens to her or me anymore."
In the cave dwelling of True Love, Fear began to look like she was having epileptic seizures.
"They haven't exercised their power yet, but they will, not only that but there are others even more dangerous, I know she has given an enormous amount of power to Anger and one other but I was found out before I could discover who."
Raven spoke her next words very carefully and deliberately, "When you say enormous what exactly do you mean?"
"Remember when Trigon got loose in here?"
Raven came out of the mirror in a panic, if any of what Caution said was true then there was no way to protect herself let alone others. This was way more dangerous than she had originally thought and she felt stupid for not realizing how bad this could get from the beginning. She was started pacing and desperately tried to calm her fear, she didn't need to send the emotions that were still normal out of control worrying about the ones that were. Once relatively calm she threw herself face down on the bed and closed her eyes, Why is life so hard?
Without warning there was a heavy weight on her back and a familiar scent filled her nose, "Hey Ray whatcha doin'?"
Does he have a radar that tells him when the worst possible time to bother me is? She thought angrily.
"Nothing now, what about you?"
"I was just thinking about how gorgeous my girlfriend is and I got an urge to come and hug her."
"Oh is that all?"
"Maybe not." He said slyly planting kisses all over her neck.
The moment his lips connected with her skin she felt a surge of …something… whatever it was it was in the pit of her stomach like a hot coal that was moving from her stomach to…lower places. She had felt frisky before and a few times in her youth she had even hit horny, but this was beyond both. She turned and met his mouth with hers and found that this only made the whole thing worse, the warmth that rushed through her body became a throbbing heat that seemed to only desire more friction, which Beast Boy was more than happy to provide.
They had made out before, but this was the first time things had become this intense, Raven was vaguely aware of a voice warning her to not continue, but she happily chose to ignore it. That is until Beast Boy managed to pull her top down and pay special attention to what he found there. Her breath caught in her throat and the alarm went off full blast, while elsewhere in Titan Tower the T-Car blew up as Cyborg put the finishing touches on his 6 hour buff job. Now panicked she pulled away as if burned and scrambled to reapply her clothing wondering when he had removed her cape, and where it was.
"Sorry, too soon for all that huh?"
She nodded meekly.
He scooted towards her and pulled her into his chest, "I'm sorry."
Without a word she stood and left the room leaving him alone on the bed.
After watching her leave Beast Boy left as well, furious at himself. He walked to his room and deliberately let his head slam into the door before opening it, "I'm so stupid."
Raven sat on the edge of the newly assembled roof of Titans Tower watching the sun set in the distance. There was a nice breeze coming in off the water that helped cool her still hot body, she took a deep breath and contemplated how close she had come to completely losing control, not of her emotions, but of herself. This whole this was viciously confusing and she didn't like it one bit…well, she did kind of like the attention…
"Friend is something funny? You seem highly amused."
Raven made it a point to completely remove the smile from her face before she turned to glare at Starfire who had somehow gotten beside her without her knowledge.
"No, nothing's funny."
"Maybe not funny, but pleasant?" she said with a devious smile.
"What is with you and guessing games!" snapped Raven.
"They are fun and are also the only way to obtain information from you." She said with a giggle.
"Yeah well it's annoying so stop it."
"I take it you and Beast Boy are doing well."
Her first thought was to tell the other girl to butt out, but then it occurred to her that maybe Starfire really could be of some help.
"Can I ask you something personal?"
"Oh yes! Anything!" said Starfire, literally floating with joy, "I long to share girl talk with you!"
"Have you and Robin ever gone past making out."
Starfire's face went the same color as Robin's vest, "Wh-wha-what do you mean!" she stammered looking anywhere, but at Raven.
"Look I know you two have been seeing each other for the longest, actually everybody knows."
"Really?" she said still blushing, "Robin would be so embarrassed if I told him."
"Then don't, I'm sure he likes to think he's fooling everyone."
"That is true!" she laughed.
"You don't have to answer the question if you don't want to."
Starfire thought for a moment, "What is included in 'past making out'?"
"Basically Starfire I'm asking if you guys have ever had sex."
Her face went rouge again, "Yes we have."
"How did you know you were ready?"
"Hmmm, I think we had both been ready a long time ago."
"I'd believe that."
"It sort of just happened."
"Were you scared?"
"A little, but not of him, but of what he would think of me. Are you thinking of becoming mates with Beast Boy?"
Raven's face went flush, "No I still think it's too soon for that." She said hurriedly.
"I don't know maybe you are ready, but just afraid."
"I am not afraid of him!"
"Then of yourself."
"That I can believe…"
They were interrupted by a heavy booming voice behind them, "Hey! Star where did you put the extra bulbs I can't find them?" They turned to see Cyborg approaching from behind.
"I thought you had finished your task of changing light bulbs." replied Starfire.
"I did but after T-Car the Twenty-Third randomly blew up I took my aggression out on the poor little guys." Raven did her best to look innocent, but it came off as plotting death and destruction, "Rave you ok?"
"Fine." She said giving up the pretense and looking out over the city instead.
"They are kept next to Silky's toys."
"Thanks Star, oh and Raven, B.B. wanted me to give you this."
He handed her a small box, she looked at him quizzically, but he just shrugged and went back inside. Curious she opened the box to find a small golden locket with a note attached, there was a picture of a green, wide eyed kitten with its' lip poked out next to the word, 'Sowy'.
"He thinks you are cow-like?" asked Starfire.
"No it's just his way of trying to be cute by spelling sorry wro…" she cut herself short upon realizing who she was talking to.
"What is he sorry for?"
She speedily slapped the lid on the box, "Nothing."
She flew off the top of the building and into one of the lower level windows before Starfire was inclined to start her eerily accurate guessing game again.
"What! No way!"
"No freakin' way!"
"Cross my heart and hope to die!"
"Tekken Eighteen! So soon after Seventeen!" screeched Beast Boy spewing half eaten veggie pizza across the table.
"I tell you no lie, and word is it will be a thousand times better than the previous version." Cyborg stated importantly.
Starfire, Raven and Robin merely listened to their geek talk while eating and making occasional conversation until Beast Boy's excitement died down and they could actually hear each other. It was just like the old days, sitting outside eating pizza together and listening to Beast Boy and Cyborg be the biggest nerds they could be for the first twenty minutes of every meal. While Robin chewed on his food Starfire filled her quiet moments gazing lovingly at him and Raven wondered if she would ever sink that low, a quick glace over to Beast Boy who had shoved four slices into his mouth at once to challenge Cyborg made her feel it was unlikely. She looked away before Cyborg responded to the challenge with a feat she was sure would gross her out. It had been a month since the incident and beyond the locket they had not discussed the issue. They had gone places alone on what was technically a date, though she did not like to count them as such because the usually came at the end of missions. Despite all this alone time they had barely held hands let alone anything else. Raven began to wonder if her reaction had been too severe or if she had somehow done something and as time had gone on the feeling grew, it took her very little time to realize the Doubt was her new worst enemy.
"By the way Robin did you ever find out more about the guy who attacked us." She asked desperate to think of something other than her own inner turmoil.
"Nothing," he said, troubled, "No one has even heard of him, which I guess is a good thing."
"Maybe he was just a horrible villain who wanted to look cool." Offered Starfire never breaking her gaze with Robin.
"Aww dunph waawie abutch et way." Said Beast Boy through a mouth full of pizza.
"I said don't worry about it, that guy was an idiot who got off a lucky shot, it's not like he's Red X or anything." Hearing the name made Robin flinch and Starfire to look like an overprotective mother who had seen her child fall of his bike. "Oops sorry."
"Nothing to apologize for, it was my mistake not yours."
"Don't go getting all gloomy on us Robin especially not today." Said Cyborg with a smile.
"Why what's today?"
"Today is the five year anniversary of Titans East!" announced Beast Boy.
"And why do we care?" asked Raven, but she was totally ignored.
Robin looked confused and Starfire looked positively elated, Raven was silently preparing herself for the long day of chaos that lay ahead. There was nothing that could steel her nerves to Starfire's over elated squeals and Cyborgs' demands for a commemorative game of Stinkball. The possibility of a quiet afternoon was completely shot, they were rowdy at the pizza place, talkative on the way home and once they arrived back at Titan Tower the trouble really started. Cyborg disappeared and momentarily reappeared with something large under each arm.
"Who's really ready to party!"
Raven's eyes bulged, Please don't let that be what I think it is, "What the hell is that?"
"What's it look like?" said Cyborg with a king sized smile.
"It looks like a couple of kegs, but it can't be because we are a team of superheroes who are supposed to be role models to the community!"
"Says the spawn of Satan." Joked Cyborg.
To that Raven just scowled, this wasn't the first time any of them had drunk, but it was the first time that liquor had been in the tower in such quantities. Cyborg, predictably downed more alcohol than the average human could tolerate before dieing and Starfire was close on his heels, soon he had to swagger off to get more leaving a very drunk Starfire with an over intoxicated Robin. Unluckily for him she was a very angry possessive drunk, and he was a very meek and passive one, Raven tried her best not to compare the two to a sexually abusive husband and an unhappy housewife. Starfire muscled him into kissing her while spewing random Tameranian mixed with garbled English and he struggled sadly to get away.
"Koriand'r methou right in the fla'ish hanath'r blogvag and yer gonna like it!" Shouted Starfire pointing lividly at the space next to Robin obviously to drunk to actually see him.
"What will everyone think of me if they see this!" whined Robin like a twelve year old girl, "and what's a fla'ish?"
To her surprise Beast Boy was still nursing his first cup and watching the couples' antics with great amusement next to her at the counter. Raven had seen him drink before, and, especially in the presence of Cyborg, he would down as much as he could get his hands on. He did not seem troubled, however, he was not totally throwing himself into the moment which was completely unlike him.
"Isn't it usually Starfire who remembers these dates?" asked Raven, trying to make small talk, which she reflected with some amusement, was completely unlike her.
"Yeah, she's been a little preoccupied lately though." He said with a smile.
Raven glanced at Starfire as she tried to disrobe her preoccupation, "I can see how that could happen. Why are we celebrating this anyway?"
"Easy. Cyborg got his hands on liquor and spent a month trying to think up a good enough reason to drink it all."
"That makes sense…and what's with you? Only one beer?"
His face suddenly became somber and she began to wonder if she had asked the wrong thing, "I just don't wanna…well you know how I am when I'm tipsy."
"Goofy as hell."
"Yeah I just don't wanna look goofy…"
"You don't want to look silly in front of me? It's never stopped you before." She laughed.
"It's not just that I just wanted to not you know do anything that might embarrass you."
"Like what…" she glanced over at Starfire who had managed to get Robin's belt off and was now trying to take his pants. Robin, for his part, was putting up a heck of a fight, he was using something akin to drunken boxing to fend her off…In actuality it was closer to boxing while drunk which isn't quite the same. "I see, yes well I appreciate the thought."
"I also wanted to apologize again for before, I really mean it…"
"No it isn't, I've messed up so many things by pushing to hard, I'm clumsy and unlucky to boot and it just makes experiences like this short lived."
"Honestly I'm ok."
"Are you sure because I…"
She shut him up with a kiss that was half because he was so handsome when apologizing and half because of the third beer that had settled in her stomach.
"Whoa! I MUST be getting tipsy!" shouted Cyborg unnecessarily loudly as he swaggered into the room with a keg under each arm. "I am seeing some STRANGE things!"
Beast Boy pulled way so fast he almost knocked himself off his stool, "It's uh…I can explain…"
"Don't bother he doesn't even know his own name right now." Said Raven calmly.
He looked at Raven who pointed over at Cyborg, he was already fighting with Starfire over the first keg, incident forgotten. Robin scrambled in circles in his boxers trying hopelessly to catch his pants from the ceiling fan.
"Well, shows what I know. Now where were…"
He was surprised to find she had taken the initiative and closed the distance between them before he could even finish his sentence. She had missed the contact more than she had though she would and soon that feeling to well up inside her. This time it was more powerful than before and she made a mental note to check in on that. In the mean time she couldn't take her mind off how good his tongue felt on hers. Her whole body was heating up and she felt herself feeling even more ensnared in the entire event. Vaguely she wandered if the alcohol had anything to do with it, but she knew it would take more than a couple of beers to loosen her up and beers or no she was most assuredly loose at the moment.
There was a long moment of passionate kissing that was broken by the need to breathe and as she leaned back she felt a wall. A little surprised she looked around to see that they were outside her bedroom. How did we get here? She thought more than a little panicked. She was completely stunned to see her had reach out and open the door completely against her will. She pulled him in after her and the door promptly shut leaving them in the consuming darkness of her room. She pulled him to the bed and let herself fall onto it pulling him after her.
Stop it damn you! She screamed at herself, Don't do this! This isn't what I want!
Isn't it? Came a distant reply from within her.
I still control myself!
Of course you do dearie so what does that tell you about this incident?
I don't want this!
Her hips moved of their own accord pushing his hardness directly between her legs, the restraints of there clothing making her groan in frustration.
If you want to stop then stop the decision is yours, it always has been because I am you…
Suddenly she found herself in the present in total control with a fresh understanding. This whole time she had been blaming everyone inside the mirror forgetting that they were merely a part of her, they, by essence of their existence, couldn't do anything she didn't honestly want and she realized that right now she really wanted Beast Boy. So for the first time in her life she ignored, caution and logic and let herself go.
Beast Boy was surprised by the sudden change of pace, suddenly she was on him with wanton lust. He found his shirt over his head and on the floor before he could even voice a question and as she rid him of his shorts he understood how Robin felt and regretted laughing at him.
She had never felt this kind of overwhelming need before and found that the more she fulfilled her desires the more intense they became. She had heard many things about how this would feel the first time, but it felt nothing short of incredible. All of her senses felt heightened and the only thing they sensed was pleasure, maybe it was because of lifelong isolation, maybe it was because of her constantly repressed desires, but what she felt was so far above anything she had ever felt in her life and if there was any harm in loving him she was willing to accept it, even if it meant the destruction of her very soul she knew she could never let him go.
The morning broke to find her nestled closely to Beast Boy's chest sleeping happily. When her eyes cracked open it was another story, she shot up wracking her brain to figure out why she was naked next to him and more to the point why she was naked at all.
It took very little inquiry to recall the reason and though she didn't regret it as she was fearful of the apocalypse that was sure to follow. However, the seconds ticked by and the sun continued to shine, Trigon didn't appear from a dark nexus and swallow the world whole, there was nothing, but Beast Boy's even deep breaths.
She watched him sleep curled up next to her arms still positioned as if they were still in an embrace. Some of his hair had fallen in his face and she was surprised to find herself brushing it away lovingly, it was so not like her, but at the same time it felt totally right. She stood and after a sharp pain shot from between her legs she opted to hover over to her clothes and dress before heading out of the room to try and find the others.
They were right where she had left them, in the game room sprawled out all over the place. Robin had somehow gotten his pants back, but instead of putting them on he had curled up on the couch and hugged it like a safety blanket. Starfire was lying haphazardly over an empty keg snoring with her mouth wide open, her hand faintly glimmered green indicating that she had been fiercely guarding her find until recently. Cyborg in the meantime was dead asleep on the floor in front of her with a bicycle pump in one had and a tazer gun in the other leaving Raven to wonder if it was really the keg that Starfire had been protecting.
She sat gingerly on the couch and took a deep breath, nothing had gone out of control Caution was simply being too cautious. However she may have been onto something concerning power boosts, she had never felt such rapturous joy in her entire life of course that could have been totally due to Beast Boy's efforts. The joy that welled up inside her made her feel like she could take on the world, face any danger, right now she was invincible.
"Bathar ORGVARG!" swore Starfire as she woke, holding her head dramatically.
"Such language so early?" Raven joked.
Starfire looked over at her lazily through the only eye that wasn't plastered shut with sleepers, "I am sorry friend, but I have never experienced such cranial displeasure." She groaned as she stood.
"Called a hangover and they're a good reason not to drink."
"Never a reason not to drink." Mumbled Cyborg, still asleep, as he rolled over curling closer to his bicycle pump.
"Did you enjoy the festivities? As best as I can remember you were not having much fun."
Raven fought the uncharacteristic smile that seemed to be dying to get on her face, "I enjoyed myself."
Starfire fiercely rubbed her eye until it was able to open again and gave a couple of test blinks before speaking, "Don't tell me this enjoyment had to do with you and a book alone in your room."
There was a shifty glace to the left and to the right followed by a hasty, "Yeah sure."
Starfire gave a deep sigh but at that moment Beast Boy stumbled in yawning wrapped up in Raven's sheets. He sleepily made his way to the fridge pulled out a plate of tofu snagged a fork and drugged back out unaware of his audience. Raven slapped her hand over her face desperate not to see the look of understanding that would be on Starfire's. Yet she never got a chance to see it, the room went red alerting to some disturbance.
Robin shot straight up looking like a deer in a truck's headlights and Cyborg stood straight up looking as serious and alert as be could holding a bicycle pump an a tazer gun.
Grasping the situation rather quickly Robin shouted, "Titans…" he stopped upon seeing his pants clutched in his hand, in one movement they were back in place and he was once again their fearless leader, "Titans trouble!"
The city was empty, there wasn't a soul in sight, no one; that was never a good sign. Cyborg did a scan for life of any kind and found nothing, Beast Boy tried sniffing out the problem, but came up clean, the town was literally deserted.
Beast Boy yawned sleepily, "So where is everybody?"
"They've been taken care of already, you guys are late."
The group turned to see all of the members of Titans East plus on new member, "Yo guys it's been a while."
Raven's heart felt like it was being blown apart with C4 every time it beat, her mouth went dry and she felt nauseous. The only person who seemed to notice was Starfire who looked with a panic between the two. The only one to say anything was Beast Boy, the name came softly off his lips, making her feel truly ill.
"What are you guys doing down here?" asked Robin oblivious to the drama happening around him.
"We wanted to stop by and compare notes ya know hook up and talk when we ran into the Hive Five and decided to take care of it for you." Said Bumble Bee.
"Who's watching your tower?"
"The state of the art security system so quit whining you girl." Said Speedy lazily.
"Well who' watching your city!"
"Kid Flash actually, said he'd jog on down and get us if there was anything he couldn't handle." Aqua Lad said as he and Mas y Menos appeared from behind a building.
"What do you want really you've never been one to ask for help?" Cyborg asked Bumble Bee.
"Really? We really want your help on something, we think it involves Slade and if so the channels of communication are not safe. We have reason to think he may have our place bugged so we acted out this month long elaborate scene about wanting to surprise you here in case he was listening. We tried to make it in time for the anniversary party, but it looks like you guys already had it without us." She laughed.
"Slade…" said Robin.
Cyborg had a feeling that was all he heard. "When did you add that one on?" he asked playfully pointing to Tera.
"Oh her? She asked to join and had the right stuff so how could we say no?"
"Because she's in with Slade that's why!" Raven shouted in an outburst that surprised even her.
Bumble Bee rolled her eyes, "Duh, we know all about her dealings with Slade, she's the one who tipped us off to the whole thing going on at our base."
"Sounds suspicious to me." Said Cyborg.
"It did to us too but she checked out Tin Man so chill. She's already told us everything."
As Cyborg and Robin continued to argue the overall cleverness of allowing Tera on the team Starfire, being the easily excitable being that she was, was busy shaking Tera's hand, obviously accepting of the girls reinstatement. Raven was watching Beast Boy watch Tera, his face was unreadable and with every moment that passed with his eyes still on her, her chest got a little tighter.
"Either way lets' got out of the streets and back to the tower." Said Robin after realizing that arguing was getting them nowhere.
As they left the area Beast Boy continued to watch her and Raven continued to watch him. If she hadn't been so busy she would have felt the change that had just taken place, but it was best that she did not because it would have scared her to the core to realize what it was.
Once they returned to the base there was a lot of talking and laughing, but none of it done by Raven. She sat darkly watching Beast Boy talking quietly with Tera in a secluded corner of the room. Starfire seemed to be the only one to notice that this wasn't her regular moodiness, but was smart enough to not approach the other woman.
Robin invited the West team to stay for the night and Raven could simply feel her mood grow darker. It didn't help that Beast Boy did not visit her that night either and by morning midnight black would have been a light and cheery description of her mood.
As though the day were specifically tailored to piss her off Tera was the fist one to enter the kitchen after her. Her eyes were half closed and her hair lay on her head in dainty chaos. Raven tried to think of something to say that wouldn't sound snappy but in the end she found silence to be the best option.
"I'm sorry." Said Tera, in the unearthly silence her voice was like a bomb.
"For what?" Raven asked wincing.
"For you know, the stuff I did. I never got to tell you personally."
"Oh whatever it's fine." She grumbled.
"I really want to erase the things I did but I can't I hurt everyone especially Beast Boy…"
The sound of his name on her lips brought her blood pressure to new heights and she knew if she didn't do something soon someone was about to need a doctor.
"Maybe so, but we forgive you so let it go."
"I can't Raven," she said obviously not picking up on the fact that she was trying to end the conversation as quickly as possible, "He trusted me so much and I was such an idiot, even now he doesn't hate me. I can't say I could ever be so forgiving."
Raven knew that if she opened her mouth there would be blood so she ground her teeth so hard they were in danger of cracking.
"I just hope we can be close again like we were before I miss the way he made me feel…"
The straw floated gracefully down from it's long journey through the desert and landed gracefully on she five hundred or so pounds of luggage that already graced the camels back. It's landing coincided with a loud SNAP! As the camels vertebrae shattered.
Raven stood ready to wage mortal combat, but at that moment Starfire floated in with Cyborg and Robin on her tail. She was beyond furious, but she wasn't willing to expose her relationship with Beast Boy in a no holds barred fight with Tera. She contained her rage and made a beeline to her room before Starfire could say anything. There she contemplated what had just happened, despite her years of training her temper had just gotten out of control. She felt a little frightened as she realized that she'd had every intention of killing Tera. It was unlike her to have such powerful emotions over such trivial things. She was really beginning to see what Caution had been worried about.
Too afraid to do any mirror investigation she sat on the bed and tried to meditate, when that failed she curled up on her bed and focused all her energy on not crying.
Hours passed and she remained in that same spot wishing more desperately than she wanted to admit that she wanted Beast Boy to come in and tell her that everything was going to be ok. After a while someone came in, but it wasn't Beast Boy.
"Friend are you alright?"
"Go away." Raven said sharply.
There was a silence at the door but Raven knew it would take more than that to make her leave.
"You should not be alone…"
"Starfire shut the hell up I don't care what you think! Leave me alone for shit's sake take the fucking hint!" she screamed in pain and frustration.
Starfire looked very hurt but she still did not leave the doorframe, "I can see you are hurting because of Tera's return. Instead of turning into a Sarvoc maybe you should tell him your feelings." She said before she left quietly.
Tell him her feelings? It was a reasonable thing to do. It was rather selfish of her to think that he would come to comfort her when he had no idea that she was upset. Though he would have been able to tell if he could take his eyes off Tera for one second her mind replied. She stood and composed herself and went in search of the only person that was capable of helping her keep her abilities under control.
Beast Boy sat on the rocks that hovered over the water at the base of Titans tower with Tera chatting happily next to him. He was relieved to see that she was better, but he was still wary, that was how she seemed the second time she betrayed them…
"You know I have never been better in my whole life, I think joining Titans East was the best move I ever made."
"Buy why didn't you join with us?"
"I already told you, no one would trust me, you don't even trust me now." She giggled.
He hated to admit it but that was true, "Well I'm happy that you're happy regardless of the team you joined."
"There is one thing I will always regret though."
"Oh?" he asked letting the sound of the waves lull him into a trance and carry him to a warm place in Raven's bed. He had been trying not to think of such things at the moment but he couldn't shake the fact that he really wanted to go into her room and rearrange her furniture…so to speak.
"I really wish we could have been something more than friends."
"Huh?" these words snapped him back to his current reality and unnerved him a little, apparently while he had been spacing out she had gotten a little closer. Her large eyes bore into his and for a moment he was speechless.
"Yeah, but I huh…" he wasn't sure what to say, he had no idea how Raven would react if he told anyone about their relationship.
"You really are cute when you're flustered." She giggled.
"Heh, yeah I was really in love Tera but…"
"Don't." she said pulled him close and aggressively began to kiss him, so passionately it bordered on violent. He pulled away with all his strength and in the end had to resort to transforming into a gorilla in order to break her grasp. She seemed surprised by his reaction then it melted into confusion and then slight fear. He realized she wasn't looking at him and glanced over his shoulder to see Raven looking as mutinous as he had ever seen her.
"Ray wait!" he shouted, but she ignored him and left in a fury.
"Oh no I didn't know!" Tera cried.
"It's not your fault I should have told you!" he shouted as he made his way up the rocks, "Just stay away from her for a while!"
He dashed after her and tried to make it to her door before it slammed in his face, but he didn't, it slammed so hard he was sure deaf people in China heard it and it was followed by an even louder sound he couldn't identify.
He tried ramming to door a couple of times insistent upon making her understand, but apparently that sound had been her barricading the door because even his gorilla form couldn't take I down. Frustrated he leaned against the door feeling completely helpless.
"What's with this I'm hard up for a glace for a girl my whole life and next thing I know their all over me." He groaned.
Raven sat on her bed trying desperately to get a grip on herself, a small and steadily fading voice told her it wasn't what it looked like and that she should let him in and talk to him. Then there was a louder and much more insistent voice that dominated her mind…
'He never loved you! You were just a replacement for Tera!'
'What? No he loves me it was a misunderstanding!'
'Who the hell are you kidding! You're the pale weird hellspawn why would he be interested in you? He fed you lies about having always loved you and you fell for it! He always loved her more and he always will. HE WILL NEVER LOVED YOU!'
Those words did something, the moment they resonated through her mind she felt everything go out of control. Her powers surged and made her chest feel like it was about to break open. The mirror on her dresser began to shake violently and a dark mist began to rise from it, books flew from their shelves as her powers swirled out from her unchecked. She tried to move, tried to scream, but she was overwhelmed, paralyzed by her own powers. The mirror floated into the air and hovered in front of her and with astonished horror she saw something emerge, it was Anger and she looked positively crazed, her hair was everywhere, all the veins in her forehead pulsed with rage. Deep guttural growls came from her foaming mouth and all of her eyes glowed red making her look more like her father then she could have imagined. Raven tried to move away but it was a completely futile attempt, Anger grabbed her face and rammed her own into it but instead of impact she felt her take over as if she were now merely a thought in the mind of Anger. Pain followed blinding pain that would have caused her to scream if she was capable of making noise. The pain came from within her chest and was for a completely different reason that the searing heat she felt in her new position in her own body. Anger was burning her up from the outside and the …something that was going on inside. She however didn't get a chance to reflect on it any further, the pain became too much and she lost consciousness.
Beast Boy had almost come up with the words he wanted to say to apologize, he stood going over it and finally knocked on the door. At the very moment his knuckles touched the metal there was crash that literally shook the building. Truly alarmed he transformed into a T-Rex and swung his powerful tail sending the door flying. He looked in and the first thing he noticed was that half of the room was missing. It was just plain gone and off in the distance he could see a red aura floating towards the city that he knew in his heart was Raven.
"Aw come on would you just let me explain!" he shouted at her distant figure.
He turned to try and chase her down; however, Robin and the others came rushing in before he could get a chance.
"What the hell happened?" Robin asked looking at the damage.
"Uh Raven's kind of upset at me, but I'm trying to talk to her and fix it up." He said sheepishly.
"Where is she now?" Cyborg asked his face clearly indicating that he blamed every inch of it on him.
"She's headed for the city." He said leaving out the bit about the glowing red aura.
"Does stuff like this happen every day?" asked Speedy.
"More than it should." Replied Robin.
"Look guys don't worry it's no big deal. I'll just go find her and apologize. Really everything's cool." His sentence was punctuated by a loud explosion coming from the idle of the city and the distant screams of civilians and that was followed by their alarm going off.
"You better hope that isn't her." Robin said before he ran out of the door.
Beast Boy tried not to look sheepish as the others hurried out but it didn't really work. He sighed sadly before he looked out at the city, "Raven why won't you let me explain?"
He turned to leave but a rattling sound caught his ears he moved some rubble to find Raven's mirror in the corner spewing dark energy. "I bet I know what this is about."
He looked at the door and considered following the others then he looked at the mirror. It would be easier to confront her hurt feelings directly than having to get past her bristly exterior and unwillingness to let him talk. However the mirror did seem rather foreboding…he looked out at the city and saw another blast light up the night sky.
"Oh hell same difference!" he shouted at himself as he leapt headlong into the unknown.
There was an odd pulling sensation in the pit of his stomach and the next thing her knew was the cold hard kiss of the ground. He stood rubbing his head and immediately knew that this had been a mistake. In his time with the Titans he had seen many nightmare worlds, but this one made the skin on the back of his neck stand up. Everything was in turmoil the sky was the color of blood swirling angrily above him making a sound that could only be described as painful. The earth looked like there had been a massacre only moments before and there were no signs of life just chunks of flesh that must have belonged to the birds that used to inhabit the area because he saw beaks, feathers and eyes scattered amongst it. He wondered where he should even begin to look, but a high pitched scream made up his mind for him.
He swiftly transformed into a cheetah and ran as fast as he could to the source of the scream, his ears led him to a large cave with a particularly nasty looking cloud over it. He returned to his normal form and ran in knowing whatever was in there wouldn't be good. Inside it was worse than he thought, it looked like someone had committed mass murder. Bloody handprints stained the beautiful walls of the dwelling and pools of blood littered the floors making his stomach turn.
What could have possibly happened?
He looked around for the source of the blood, it was made apparent when one of Raven's emotions came flying over his head and crashed unceremoniously into a table. He rushed to her side and saw immediately that she was not like the others. Even through the cuts and bruises he could see that she was much fairer than Raven, she looked dazed as she should but when her one good eye met his she smiled softly.
"You came." Was all she said before she was grabbed from his arms.
He turned angrily to see who it was, but had the fire snatched out of him when he actually saw. It was another of Raven's emotions but he had never seen this one before, it was closer to a nightmare creature than an incarnation of Raven. It, at its base, was her, but it honestly looked nothing like her. It was built like the Hulk and just as green for starters. It had long vicious fangs and long scraggly hair that curtained piercing green eyes. He would have never pretended to be an expert on emotions but he was willing to bet his life that this was Jealousy.
While he stood gawking it grabbed the other emotion by the throat and began to squeeze her neck with it's considerable strength. Beast Boy saw this and emerged from his stupor just in time to try and tackle her attacker. It was something like running headlong into a brick wall, but it did the trick, it dropped her and turned to him.
"You…" it said in a voice that could barely be recognized as human.
"Uh yeah me. Um could you not do that I think she's had enough?" he said heart thumping in his ears. It looked like she had enough power to crush his soul with one fist.
"YOU!" it screamed like it hadn't heard a word he said.
It came at him with a speed he had never witness and slugged him with the force of a speeding train. His thoughts quite literally left his head and he was sent soaring into the wall. As it approached he tried to force his body to move, but motor had yet to return to his limbs, his arms shook violently from the effort and he blinked furiously to see through the blood that was running from his head into his eyes. It was over him now about to strike when the other Raven appeared and blocked him.
"You cannot kill him!" she yelled, her broken body was unfaltering before the monster making him feel even more helpless.
The creature looked like someone had thrown molten lava on it, it's face distorted in anger and it let loose a roar that made his ears vibrate. In a furry it grabbed her by the throat and slammed her against the wall.
"Why do you defend him? He needs to die! He has to die! It won't stop if he doesn't die!" it screamed squeezing her neck tighter with every word.
"Let her go!" Beast Boy screamed turning into a gorilla, with all his might he swung knocking it away from Raven.
Quickly he scooped her up into his arms and ran as fast as he could. He had no idea where he was going but he knew his attack would not stun the monster for long. He ran fast and hard putting quite a bit of distance between himself and the cave. As he carefully picked his way down one particularly steep hill he heard the girl speak.
"Stop." She said weakly.
"Stop? Are you nuts it'll find us!"
"She'll find us anyway, we are connected she will find me no matter where we go."
Despair took him over and he sank to the ground with her in his arms, "What am I supposed to do? I have no idea what's going on." He said almost in tears.
"Raven is hurting and Anger and Jealousy are lashing out. Anger at the world and Jealousy at me."
"That's why she's out rampaging all over town?"
"Yes, Anger could not gain control of Raven despite her considerable power so she left and possessed her."
Beast Boy shook his head while looking around frantically for the morphed Jealousy to return, "I don't really get any of this, I just wanted to tell Raven I am sorry," she said practically in tears, "I just wanted her to know it wasn't what it looked like and I'm sorry that she ever had to have reason to doubt me." As he looked at the face that looked so much like Raven's beaten and broken the tears that he had been holding back flowed down his cheek. "I didn't know it would come to this, I'm so sorry." He said clutching her to his chest.
"I know, don't worry about me it will take more than she can dish out to kill me, it would be best if you left before she does real harm."
"No I won't." he said stubbornly.
Smiling sweetly she replied, "I know you won't that's why I love you."
A horrific cry told them that their attacker had caught up to them, "I'll protect you…uh…which one are you?"
He chuckled to himself as he turned to face, what he was quite sure was, his death, "Figures."
He transformed into a T-Rex and rushed in, Jealousy took a swipe with her massive hand and missed as he made himself a hummingbird and maneuvered over her head where he became a hippo ad flattened her into the dirt. He was feeling good about himself until she stood, his weight still on her back and threw his up into the air with impressive force and before he could get his bearings she clubbed him with both fists. He flew a few hundred yards away before he began the bouncing and skidding part of his journey.
When he finally regained consciousness he found he had no idea where he was and subsequently had no idea how to get back. He looked around for a moment while assessing his injuries; three broken ribs, fracture of the left arm, broken nose while the rest of him was made up of cuts and bruises of varying severity. It was nothing he hadn't lived through before.
There was an unusual shift in the air and with great surprise Beast Boy realized that someone had managed to sneak up on him. He turned quickly mind already going through a list of animals that would be appropriate, but when he turned to face the person he saw it was not Jealousy or True Love for that matter. He had no idea who it was, he was not even sure if it was an emotion.
The person in front of him like True Love looked just like Raven, but very different at the same time. She appeared to be Raven at age 30 or so, even with the age boost she still looked beautiful. She was taller and her face radiated calm, her eyes were soft yet gave no delusions of weakness.
"Quite a flight you took there." She said with a kind voice that was just like Raven's only slightly deeper.
"Yeah…Where am I?"
"Who knows, everything around here looks the same to me." She laughed.
"Which emotion are you."
She shook her head slightly, "I'm not an emotion, I am Wisdom."
"Yes Raven created me like she did Trigon to try and work things out. I am all of her acquired knowledge put into an unbiased personality. I am a preverbal think tank unlike Knowledge who gathers information I am able to apply it and of course I carry a wealth of knowledge that can't be learned in books. You could even say I am the accumulation of her every life lesson."
"Wow." Was all he could come up with.
"Well how come I'm just now meeting you? Why aren't you running the show around here?"
"Ha, well you would be surprised how little people want to be confronted with blunt truth. I ended up getting moved far from the others, she hasn't visited me since she was five."
"I'm over it."
"So this is where you live?" he asked surveying the vast rocky wilderness.
"No I live further out, but all this ruckus brought me out of hiding so to speak."
"Oh no!" he shouted.
He leapt up but his ribs protested and he collapsed back to the ground.
"True Love is in danger! Jealousy is trying to kill her!" he shouted while struggling to stand.
"No worries she won't die, but you might."
"I don't care…I have to go."
"Hmm, well I should correct you on one thing, that girl is no longer Jealousy, True Love's power has given her that hideous upgrade, she calls herself Envy now and Anger is Wrath."
"How do you know that?"
"I told you I'm an accumulation of everything Raven knows meaning I am directly connected with her emotions."
"If you know what's happening then why did you even come out here."
"Cause it's boring at my place."
Beast Boy's mouth fell open, "Don't you care?"
"No and that's why I was given this position."
"Forget it, look do you know how I can defeat Envy?"
"Sure that's easy, but that isn't what you really want to know."
"Yes it is!"
"You just have to wake her up."
His face fell a little, "Who?"
"Raven of course."
"And where is Raven."
"According to Wrath in her own head."
"Well aren't we in her head!"
"No not technically."
"Then where technically is Raven!"
"Look I'll break it down for you, Raven is not in control right now because she was taken over by Wrath. Because Wrath took over externally and not internally Raven is literally stuck in her own head. We are a manifestation of intangible feelings in a nexus that she creates with her powers and the aid of the mirror."
"How does any of that help me!"
"Well because both of our locations are more or less inside her head we could reach her from here."
"Why didn't you say so! How do we get there!"
"Through that cave over there." She pointed to a cave that was quite literally a hop skip and a jump away.
"Why didn't you tell me that from the beginning!"
"You asked me how to defeat Envy, then you asked me where Raven was, then where we were, you neglected to ask how to get to her from here."
He found his mouth hanging open again. Determined he shook his head and walked towards the opening, "Whatever, I think I see why she hasn't been to see you." He mumbled.
Once they approached the entrance Wisdom stopped and motioned for him to go through.
"You aren't going?" he asked.
"No too dangerous."
"What! You said it would be easy!"
"I said defeating Envy would be easy and once you get Raven to forgive you it will be. As a matter of fact Raven should be able too suppress her on her own."
He frowned and shook his head, "Well dangerous or not, it doesn't matter I have to wake her."
Gathering up his courage he put one foot in front of the other and approached the dark opening.
Before he walked in Wisdom spoke, "Here's a free piece of advice, your physical body is here, but when you step through you're will body will be left here while your spirit enters. That doesn't mean that injuries sustained to your spiritual self wont project on your physical body and vice versa. "
A little bit of the courage he had been gathering took off running, "Um would you, um watch over my body while I'm gone?"
"Sure but if Envy shows up I'm outta here that chick is way too strong for me."
"At least you're honest." He sighed as he stepped though the darkness.
It was like stepping into a war zone there was an incredible noise coming from all around him and a red energy swirled around in the immense emptiness. In the center of all the chaos there was a ball of energy swirling furiously around something. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness and to see through the frenzy, when he finally could he saw that it was Raven at the center of it all. She looked like she was sleeping, more accurately it looked like she was dead, but he wouldn't entertain that thought.
"Raven!" he screamed over all the noise hoping she would wake up and this would all be over. "Raven!" he shouted again but she didn't stir.
He ran towards her but once he was within an arms reach the energy around her spread out and kept him from advancing.
"Raven wake up!"
A booming, enraged voice came from nowhere and everywhere rising over all the noise, "Go away there is nothing you can do here."
He had the sneaky suspicion that it was Wrath.
He ignored the voice and turned to Raven, "Please wake up!" he pleaded while trying desperately to get past the energy and to her, but it burned like fire and cut like knives. He nursed his bleeding fingers while trying to think of what to do.
"Don't bother traitor you aren't needed! I will destroy everything! Your city, your friends, and especially your precious Tera!"
He looked at Raven on the ground curled up looking positively beaten and made up his mind, there was only one way through.
He took a deep breath and tried to run through the energy, the second his skin made contact his body begged him to stop, but he pressed on. It burned like hell and cut him deep, one slice caught him in the eye and he felt sure he'd never use that eye again. It cut into his thigh just short of an artery and his wrists looked like the worlds worst suicide attempt. Despite the agonizing pain he buckled down and pushed through with all his might. When he was within arms reach he grabbed Raven and pulled her close to him.
"Wake up Raven! Don't let them control you! I know you! I know you can regain control! Come one wake up!" he screamed.
With a jolt her eyes snapped open and the swirling aura slowed and gradually stopped she saw his face and bewildered shock flash over hers. Then it felt like he was being yanked by his bellybutton out of the area and back into his body and he only caught a quick glance at Wisdom sitting by his body smiling knowingly before being chucked straight back up and out of the mirror.
He fell to the floor with a thud and then the gravity of the situation hit him as he watched, with his remaining eye, his blood pool and flow out the door.
Robin tried to land gracefully as Raven threw him effortlessly again, he managed a slight pose before his momentum sent him tumbling. Starfire went in for another go uselessly throwing star bolts that Raven didn't even seem to notice. Bumblebee was trying to get in close in her miniature form but that was utterly useless. Every attack they had tried had failed miserably and what was worse was no one could find Beast Boy which they were all sure was at the root of the problem. Tera was missing as well but no one made the connection but Starfire.
Then just as suddenly as she started rampaging, she stopped and fell to the ground.
Cautiously they all emerged from where ever she had unceremoniously thrown them and cautiously approached her still form.
Cyborg was the last to approach but the first to speak, "Okay what the hell was that about."
There were no words as the Titans waited patiently by Ravens bed, she had been still since she had fallen during the battle and many wondered if she would ever wake up. As they sat in silence Tera appeared, Starfire was the only one who actually noticed her late arrival.
She sat next to her bed with a woebegone look on her face, "How is she?"
"We don't know, nothing is showing up on the scans. As far as we can tell she's fine." Robin replied.
"Has anyone seen Beast Boy?"
"No I figure he got out of dodge, smart fella if you ask me." Said Cyborg.
Speedy fidgeted for a wile and then started playing with his hair, finally he sighed and said, "She won't get any better from us staring at her."
No one responded they continued to focus on Raven as though looking as her could bring her around. Speedy sighed again and slouched in his chair.
"Look man if you're bored then leave." Said Aqua Lad rubbing his forehead.
"Fine." He stood and left looking like he was fed up with it all, but truth be told those sort of situations reminded him of sadder times. Tired and more than little stressed he decided to go to the rec room for some sleep and of course a little food, but for some reason he had the urge to take the long way past Raven's room. He had always had a sense for trouble and he definitely sensed something.
"Eh, probably overworked nerves." He yawned and continued on his direct route.
He had no idea how long it had been and it didn't particularly matter, he was dying, he just knew it. He had managed to pull himself out into the hallway and up against the wall, but progress had halted there. With a feeble grunt he tried to lift himself up but it just caused every wound to scream and him to collapse back into a heap on the floor. Determined he pushed himself up on the wall and if his wounds screamed before they bellowed now, he teared up but remained standing somewhat. Blood pumped from the gash on his leg making his path slippery. He tried to call out, but his throat wouldn't make any sound not that it would matter, his communicator was broken and no one was within ear shot he was sure. His eye still had not really recovered from Envy's strike and every breath felt like he was breaking his ribs all over again. The only thing he could keep his mind on was Raven, he had to tell her, he had to tell her he loved her. He had to tell her the truth about what happened, he couldn't die without her knowing.
He took several steps before he slipped on his own blood and fell to the floor, he hit hard and he felt the last of his strength slip away. I can't do it, I can't move…He thought pitifully. "I have to tell her…" he said, so softly he wasn't even sure he had spoken. "Have to tell…her…" this time it was so soft it sounded like a mere exhalation. It was followed by a quiet blanket of darkness that fell over his remaining vision.
"BEAST BOY!" screamed Speedy upon seeing the most gruesome sight he had ever seen in his years as a crime fighter.
He ran up to the edge of the torrents of blood that surrounded and debated running in it for a moment before dashed in. He quickly felt for a pulse and freaked out even more when he didn't feel one.
He fumbled wildly with his communicator for a moment before he recalled how it worked, "Titans I need emergency care here Beast Boy is hurt BAD!"
His heart pounded as he waited for what felt like an eternity for someone to show up. He was followed his instincts at the last possible second before getting ready for a nice long nap but as he felt the blood seep into the cloth on his knees he distantly wished he hadn't, and as he heard the first of the Titans arrive he noticed something on the wall by Beast Boy's hand. Written in blood were the words:
raven so sorry
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