Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter…people would sue me anyways for destroying the series with my writing. So whatever.

Dedication: To Yazzy Fizzle. She knows the true meaning behind the phrase "Bulgarian sex." She also knows what this fanfiction really means…among others, but she was the first.


It was bloody horrific, having the entire class staring at me as my face rebelliously turned three shades of red. I just had to be the on with all the answers, didn't I? Not that I mind most of the time, but now my mouth had overshot what my brain had been screaming in warning and protest against, and it was all I could do to keep from screaming in frustration myself. Now it was blatantly obvious to my potions class that there was some scent in that substance that I didn't want anyone else to know of.

Perhaps I was being paranoid, and prematurely so, but it quite literally felt as though in those few moments before Slughorn had picked up the lecture once again, every student in class was attempting to dissect my brain to find what I had held back.

Damn that Amortentia. Damn my knowledge of Amortentia. I simply didn't know when to shut up, did I? Note to self: stop being such a bloody know-it-all. Ron tells me this regularly, and I'm suddenly beginning to see what he means. I couldn't just name, define, and list common characteristics, oh no. Hermione Granger, Brainy Git Extraordinaire had to continue with what aromas she could smell from the cauldron at the front of the room; the smells that attracted her.


Something like that.

And people actually call me intelligent. If I were truly intelligent, and not the fool that I actually am, I would've known to shut my fact spewing mouth before it became blatantly obvious that there was something I could smell in that potion that I don't want anyone else to know about.

So maybe I'd caught a whiff of Ron Weasely's hair. And perhaps it wasn't coming from him, but the Amortentia.


It was a complete accident the first time, I swear it, but that…smell soon became a small addiction of mine. That's not to say that I go around tackling the poor bloke at random moments and snipping off bits of his hair shouting "LOOK! DNA!" I'm not so infatuated as that, and I'm quite certain that all his locks are intact. His hair simply smells…nice.

…Attractive nice.

I-almost-wish-I-could-tackle-him-at-random-moments-and-snip-off-bits-of-his-hair nice.

I had been sitting in the library a little over a year ago and Ron had slid into the chair beside me, hoping to copy my homework, as per usual. His hair was slightly damp; he'd obviously taken a shower in recent hours. That wave of…hair-scent, I suppose, hit me the way any person's smell hits when you pas another on the street in a particularly rapid and close manner. That was all that happened. I was simply overtaken by it, and from then on took every opportunity I could to be near him. Near enough to smell his hair.

That's all.

…And Ginny says Ron has mental instabilities. If she got a look at the way my mind seems to work, I think she just might wretch.

We were walking to our next class, Harry, Ron, and I, when my paranoia appeared to become a reality. I'd just finished chewing Harry out for following potentially dangerous orders he'd found in some old potions book that Slughorn had lent him, and apparently he was seeking a spot of revenge. Grinning, he addressed me though his eyes were on Ron.

"So Hermione, I'm curious. What else did you smell in that potion?" I'd had a faint notion that Harry was aware of my…subtle attraction for our friend, and his look now confirmed it for me. Splendid. I decided to play dumb, something I don't seem to be very good at.

"What potion?"

"Amortentia, mate," Ron laughed, getting in on the joke but thankfully not fully understanding its significance. "And I can smell freshly mown grass and new parchment and old textbooks that nobody cares about anymore, and-" I promptly whacked him on the arm to end his mockery of me. If only he knew. Unfortunately, Harry wasn't quite so keen to give up just yet. His voice acquired the same unnatural alto that Ron had been using just moments before as he continued the impersonation.

"And Hogwarts, A History! Oh, I can smell the pages I rustle through at least thrice a day! How I do lust for it on long, lonely nights-" Ron was on the verge of hysteria, and there was nothing I could do to stop the madness.

…Or was there?

"And Victor Krum, oh dear sweet Vikky! I smell his Bulgarian cologne! Hmm…Bulgarian sex!" Ron had gotten very quiet at this, and I couldn't hold back a small smile at his reaction. Still, I whipped out my want and brandished it threateningly in Harry's direction.

"Alright, I've been properly ridiculed in retribution for lashing out at you at the end of potions. It ends now, or I'll hex you into the following month. And you," I moved my wand over to Ron and took a stop closer, the wooden tip almost touching his chest, "will stop laughing."

"I'm not," he muttered. And it was true; he'd grown somber at mention of Krum.

"You were," I hissed despite his words, leaning forward even further so that he could see that I was serious.

Oh, and maybe so that I could catch the faint scent still just barely lingering in Ron Weasley's hair.

We'd reached the door to Defense Against the Dark Arts, and as I was about to follow Ron into the room, Harry held me back.

"Really though, what else did you smell in the Amortentia?" I shook my head and made to walk into class. "It was Ron, wasn't it? You smelled him." His voice was light and teasing, quiet enough that no one had heard but me. I turned around with a smile, slipping my still visible wand back into my robes.

"Sorry to disappoint you…you are one of my best friends and everything…but I'm afraid you'll never know."


Definitely not my best work, but still fun to throw together. Erm…please don't take this as Hermione-is-a-stalker or anything, it's more like…just one more thing that she finds attractive about Ron; the smell of his hair. And I think her paranoia would be valid…I can totally see her as the type who kind of freaks when she thinks that someone knows who she likes. I think there are a couple people who'll get the full meaning of this piece…but not many. Oh, and the Bulgarian sex thing?

…Erm…yeah. xD

Anyways, hope you guys liked my first attempt at HermionexRon. I may write another soon.


-slinks back to the Teen Titans fandom-