Well, this all started when I was laying on my bed thinking about what would I think if I was a certain anime character. When I thought of Naruto, I realized that there's no way Naruto could have gone through so much and still be happy. So this is what I think would happen if he sat and thought about things.
Disaclaimer: If you don't see Naruto and Sasuke cuddleing, then it's a safe bet I own nothing.
Naruto sighed as he sat in a meadow, alone, his only company being the forest creatures in the trees behind him and the fish jumping out of the lake that he sat in front of. He let out a shuddered breath as he curled his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them. As much as he tried to hold them back, tears began to flow down his face.
He shut his eyes tightly as he tried to block to tears, but, once again, the tears refused to stop and a muffled sob even escaped his throat. He hated the villagers, he just hated them so much. Everyday he would go, pretending their cruel words weren't affecting him in the least, but he was much softer than everyone gave him credit for. Ever since he found out what he was, his hatred of the villagers only increased. Why are they blaming him for what the fox did? Did they think Naruto had anything to do with what happened all those years ago! Did they think he wanted to be the vessel of a murderer! He honestly wouldn't think twice if he had a chance to let the fox out. So what if they would hate him for letting it out, they were hating him anyways! He was damned either way, so why not make it so the very people who scorned him went down as well?
They weren't even going to tell him…
That's what had always stung Naruto. He was the vessel of a demon and they weren't even going to tell him! He would have gone the rest of his life, knowing that the entire village hated him, but never knowing why! Every day, seeing disgusted glares or murderous glances, and never knowing why! Again, it was a question as to why the villagers hated him so much. Everything the fox did it was the fox that did it! Not Naruto, Naruto was too young to even know what killing was when it happened. Yet it was Naruto who was being blamed for it. His hands were stained with imaginary blood the villagers put there just so they had someone to hate. Someone to blame because they knew if they went up to the real cause of the destruction, they would have their eyes gouged out. Naruto sighed as he looked out at the lake in front of him.
Would anyone miss him?
Heh, probably not. In fact, if he were to kill himself, they would probably celebrate. They may make the day he dies a national holiday. There would be a party, dancing, smiles, and cheers. Not only the adults of the village, but the children as well, who were the ones who hated him for no reason. They hated him because their parents hated him, so he hated them more than their parents. At least their parents had a reason to hate him! Not a good reason, but a reason nonetheless!
Naruto bit his lip before snatching his kunai and slicing a large gash on his arm, just barely missing the main vein. He panted as he watched his blood drip down his arm and felt a little woozy at the amount of blood escaping. The cut suddenly began to close and heal up, leaving a very faint scar. Naruto growled at the demon's healing powers and he crossed his arms over his knees. His attention then turned to a river at the side of the lake. He knew there was a waterfall a few miles out…a waterfall means a high drop, rocks, and a slim chance of surviving if he went down there.
Unconsciously, his body stood and his feet started moving. All the while, his mind was having a silent argument.
What am I doing?
What you know is best.
I don't want to die, what about my dream?
Keh, like the villagers would ever allow you to become Hokage. They almost didn't let you become a ninja!
What about my friends?
Are you blind! She hates your guts, she wants you dead!Iruka…
Why would he want his parent's murderer alive?It wasn't me!
You are the vessel of the fox demon, in the eyes of the villagers, it may as well been you.Master Kakashi…
He doesn't care about anyone, least of all you!S-Sasuke?
Naruto felt his breath hitch in his throat and his heart clench when he thought of the raven haired boy. Like his strength, Naruto had been faking his hatred of the other boy. No matter how cruel he was, Sasuke was the only one who could slightly relate to Naruto. Naruto couldn't help but like him. No…Naruto couldn't help but love him. He has loved him for a long time now, he cherished every moment with the other boy. Every single time Sasuke stopped acting like a jerk, Naruto loved those moments. It was the only times that he ever felt that he saw the real Sasuke. When Sasuke almost died to save him from Haku's needles, that only fueled Naruto's love even more.
He hates you as well, or has that not become obvious to you?
Naruto bit his lip and continued to walk towards the falls. The echoing crashes could already be heard. He knew Sasuke could never accept his feelings, and he knew that Sasuke could never love him in return. Tears rolled down Naruto's face as he approached the falls.
This is for the best, no one cares, no one will ever care. Even if I somehow survive, I'll be left for dead. No one will look for me and I'll drown or be eaten alive by fish or sharks or something…
Naruto was scared, he was terrified. He hated the thought of dying, but living every day of his life in a lie was worse. Living everyday where all he had to look forward to are the villager's scorn, his 'friends' lies, Sasuke's disgust. He couldn't take it. Naruto looked to a tree for a second before he carved out a message on the trunk. Then he took off his forehead protector and pinned it with his kunai. When that was done, he face the waterfall and jumped…
"Naruto! Naruto, where are you!" Sakura cried walking around the village, looking for the blonde bundle of joy.
"What are you yelling about?" The pink haired girl jumped and whirled around, standing face to face with the village heart-throb.
"S-Sasuke! I didn't see you there. Hey, have you seen Naruto? Master Kakashi wanted to talk with him about something." She said blushing slightly. Sasuke scoffed and turned away.
"Why would I know where he is?" In truth, Sasuke was wondering where Naruto was himself. It was very seldom and very strange that Naruto went the entire day without causing trouble.
"Um…could you possibly…help me find him? Master Kakashi and Master Iruka seemed very worried. Of course, considering Naruto hasn't been seen anywhere today, it's very surprising. He wasn't even at the ramen shop!" Sakura, although her teammate annoyed her to no ends, worried about Naruto sometimes. When Sasuke had told her about how completely lonely someone who grew up without parents could get, she wanted to be as nice as she honestly could, even though she still wasn't all that nice. Sasuke sighed and nodded, earning a grateful smile from his pink-haired teammate. "Thank you! I think I'll go check the forest, he may have been training himself to exhaustion and passed out."
"Whatever." Was all the answer she got and she took off. Sasuke, meanwhile, began searching places he had seen the blonde go that he was sure no one else knew of. The sun had almost completely gone down when he realized that Naruto wasn't anywhere in the village.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" A sudden scream pierced the air. From the sound, it was far off, but it was extremely loud and very familiar.
"Sakura!" Immediately, Sasuke went towards where he heard the scream. More screams followed, all of them Sakura's. The moment he got to her, the more experienced ninjas also got there. They saw Sakura sitting by the top of a waterfall, clutching here hair and shaking her head, still screaming.
"Sakura! Sakura, what's wrong?" Iruka asked running to his former student.
"N-Naruto…Naruto…" She cut herself off as another scream escaped her throat.
"What about Naruto?" Iruka asked. It amazed Sasuke that no one noticed the forehead protector pinned to a tree by a kunai, a note scribbled hurriedly on the bark. Sasuke's eyes widened as he read the words carved into the wood.
For whoever finds this,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being a selfish brat, I'm sorry for being who I am. I know I'm the vessel for fox demon the fourth Hokage sealed over a decade ago, I know why everyone in the village hates me. I only have one thing to say, you guys are jerks. Why do you hate me for what a demon did? I'm not the demon, I'm the vessel holding a demon! Are you scared that one day I would let the demon get out and kill you all? Maybe I would if I had the will to live. By the time anyone finds this, it may already be too late.
I do only have one regret in my life. Of all the stupid things I have done, the stupidest thing is not telling someone how much I loved them. How much they meant to me, how much I needed them. So I hope that maybe you would let that person read what I have to say if it isn't too much trouble.
Sasuke, I love you so much. I've loved you since the day I first saw you. Yes, I flirted with Sakura a lot, but I guess the love I thought I felt for her was just a sibling kind of love. You're the only one I could ever love, and I'm happy to die with that love in my heart. You may be disgusted that I could feel that for you, after all, I'm a 'monster', not to mention I'm a guy. No matter how much you could hate me, I loved you. I wanted to be by your side always, if not as a lover, than a friend. Someone that would be there no matter what. Someone who would give you support no matter what happens. I would have been that someone, but that was a faint dream. So I'm sorry that you have to be burdened with my confession, but I need you to know. I'm sorry to everyone for being the bratty, selfish, worthless child I always was. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry…
Sasuke fell to his knees with wide eyes when he saw that, he was breathing heavily, the only sounds he could hear was the sound of the waterfall and Sakura's screams.
"Damn him…" he snarled.
"Sasuke?" Kakashi said and he just noticed the suicide note. He read it quickly and his own eyes widened. "I want every available ninja down at the waterfall, now!"
"What's wrong?" Iruka asked.
"N-Naruto! He…Master Iruka, Naruto jumped! He jumped down the waterfall!" Sakura screamed, barely able to get control of herself. Iruka gasped and one of the other men snickered.
"Well then, lets all go home! We're better off without that monster anyways." He said and the others behind him agreed. Sasuke glared dangerously at him, causing the elder to step back, startled at the venom in his eyes. Sakura, Iruka, even Kakashi were also looking like they were ready to kill.
"Let me make this as clear as possible. If I here any more objections or insults about finding Naruto, I will make sure the one complaining will be the next off this cliff!" Kakashi said calmly, but angrily, being sure to emphasize Naruto's name. All the ninjas, fearing his wrath, nodded and went to search for the village clown.
"I'm going too!" Sasuke announced, determination and…something else coursing through his veins. Iruka looked at him softly and shook his head.
"No, you go take Sakura home and you have to wait for us. Don't worry, we'll find him and we're going to make sure we find him, alive." He told the younger male.
" It's not you I'm worried about." He sighed when he figured what Sasuke meant.
"If anyone of them lets him die they will be put under the severest punishment possible. I doubt the Hokage would object." Sasuke turned away for a second, trying to object, but he found his mind to frazzled to think of anything. What was that idiot doing to him?
"Fine." He helped Sakura, who was still too torn apart to get up, onto his back and began jumping towards the village.
"Sasuke…" she said in a soft voice.
"What is it?" Sasuke asked a bit harsher than he meant to.
"I…saw what Naruto wrote you. Of course, I suspected all along that he had feelings for you. The way he looked at you when he thought no one was watching him. It was obvious." She murmured holding on tightly as the boy made sharp turns, trying to dodge leaves and branches.
"So? What's you're point?" he said not up to running and talking at the same time.
"Sasuke, you feel the same, don't you?" He froze at her words and looked over his shoulder, meeting knowing green eyes.
"What makes you think that?" She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.
"I don't think, I know. You're always protecting him, defending him. No matter how annoying he gets or how mean you are to him you two were always together. Even if you masked it up by saying it was just to spar or to discuss the next mission, I can tell. They were all just excuses, for the both of you, just to be together." Sasuke paused and thought for a moment. Was that what it was? Every time he found a reason for Naruto to stay, every time his body moved to protect the young troublemaker, was that love? Sasuke didn't know. He didn't know what love was, what love felt like, so how could he know if he loved Naruto?
"How would a person know if what they felt was love?" he muttered voicing his thoughts. It was very unlike him, but he needed to know.
"You don't know, you just feel. What does it feel like whenever you go near him? Does it feel so unsettling, yet wonderful at the same time? Do you want to be with him no matter what, and protect him despite the consequences? Every time he's sad, do you want to comfort him? Just feel, Sasuke! Don't think anymore, just feel." Sakura caught Sasuke's smirk, a smirk she knew well to be one on his face when he realized some kind of crucial information.
"We better hurry up." He said and continued towards the village.
"Thank goodness he's going to be all right!"
"The healers said he lost a lot of blood when he hit his head on one of the rocks. It's a good thing we found him when we did."
I feel numb all over. Is this what it's like to be dead?
"Sasuke's still here?"
"Yeah, he's been here for the entire month Naruto's been unconscious. He barely eats, sleeps, and only moves when he's being dragged out."
"Stupid Naruto, jumping off thinking everyone hated you. What are we, walls? Master Iruka cares about you, Master Kakashi cares about you, I care about you! Even Sasuke cares! He cares so much, Naruto you idiot! You automatically assume he wouldn't return your feelings, but did you even stop to ask?"
Sakura! Wait a minute…Sasuke cares?
"Sakura, we better leave now. They both need their rest."
What's going on! Am I alive! I was supposed to die! Who saved me? Why did they save me?
"Finally they're gone." Naruto, eyes still closed and body unmoving, felt someone hold his hand tightly. The voice was so familiar, but Naruto's head hurt so much and he was beginning to feel more pain crawl up his body. Even though his body was screaming for him not to, he opened his eyes and all he could see was black. It took a moment for Naruto to realize that the black was Sasuke's hair and that the mentioned boy was laying on his chest, a rough hand softly caressing his softer one.
What is he doing here? Wait a second…what is he doing! Naruto thought startled at the usually indifferent boy's gentle touches.
"You know, Naruto, she's right. You are an idiot. There are more people who care about you than you think. Of course there's Sakura, Master Kakashi, and Master Iruka, but there's more too. The Hokage, that brat, Konohamaru and his friends, even his perverted teacher respects you. You think everyone hates you, but you've got to give yourself more credit than that. Those stupid people who you claim hate you don't know you well enough to hate you. They don't like you, I can't deny that, but they can't hate you either." Naruto felt his eyes watering, but kept still, wanting to here more. "What have you done to me, dunce? I've never said anything like this in my life. I feel like I'm writing a romance novel! I guess…Sakura was right…I do love you. What am I saying? I know she was right." Naruto couldn't hold in his voice any longer, but he willed his tears away before saying anything.
"My God, Sasuke, since when have you been such a romantic?" Sasuke's head shot up and his coal, black eyes were widened as they stared unbelievingly at Naruto. Suddenly a fist was right in front of Naruto's face, as if the owner wanted to punch him, but thought better of it. The hand retreated and went to rest on top of Sasuke's head.
"Do you have any idea how worried everyone has been? Of all the stupid stunts you've pulled that was by far the stupidest! Sakura…she was the one who found your note, and she screamed! She was so broken that she could barely speak! Master Iruka hair was turning gray from worry and Master Kakashi's hair probably got whiter! Naruto, how could you be so…reckless!" Sasuke demanded, eyes glittering with anger and Naruto could also see worry. He turned his head away, his eyes were watering again and he couldn't stop tears from seeping out.
"I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what else to say! I know I was selfish and I made everyone mad again, but-" He was cut off when Sasuke put his hand over his mouth.
"Stop it! Just stop it now. One more negative comment about yourself and I'll reconsider not hitting you! Who said anyone was mad? We were all dead worried!" he said, his voice getting softer.
"Don't lie, I know there were people who were mad!"
"And who gives a rat's ass about those people? They're bastards that judge on appearances only and aren't even worth a second's consideration. Feel sorry for them, protect them, care about them, fine! But do not let their opinions control you!" Naruto looked at Sasuke through angry/sad eyes. He then looked down, his eyes hidden behind the shadows of his bangs.
"I…I wanted to die…" Sasuke almost didn't catch that and it was a bit of an unexpected comment.
"I wanted to die…so badly. I hated the way the villagers glared at me. When I found out that the fox was sealed inside of me, it made me hate the village even more. Tell me, why is it that everyone looks at me as if I were the fox! Why? I didn't do anything! Nothing at all and they hate me so much. It's not my fault! It isn't! It isn't!" Naruto held himself as he sobbed. Only a second later, he felt another pair of arms wrap around him. He didn't even have to look to know who it was, and he didn't care. Naruto clung to Sasuke and cried. Everything he's held in for longer than he remembered came out and he cried, loud, mournful cries as Sasuke held him and stroked his hair soothingly.
"Don't hold it in anymore. Let everyone know just how hurt you are. No more fake smiles or laughs. Even if it's only around one person, let all of your sadness out, promise?" Naruto hiccuped as he nodded and he continued to cling and sob. Sasuke could hear some people who seemed like they were considering coming inside before just leaving. It was a good thing, Naruto just needed to be comforted right now, and Sasuke, as uncharacteristic as it was, was more than willing to give it to him.
About an hour later, Sasuke was on the hospital bed with Naruto in his lap. The blonde was asleep, eyes puffy and cheeks red from the continuous crying. Even with his soaked shirt and uncomfortable position, Sasuke continued to sit and hold the boy.
"Sasuke! Sasuke, over here!" Naruto cried from the middle of the streets. It's been about a week since he was released from the hospital and, for the first time in a long time, he was smiling happy and it was a real smile. He realized that Sasuke and Sakura were right after the string of visitors that came to him after he woke up. There was Sakura, Iruka, Kakashi, Konohamaru, the Hokage, and Ebisu, of course. What stunned Naruto was when a lot of the people he knew at school came. Hinta, Rock Lee, Guy, Ino, Kiba, Shikamaru, some more than that, but Naruto was too brain dead to remember.
"Do you ever shut up?" Sasuke asked walking up to the blonde, but Naruto could tell there was no bite behind those words.
"Come on! Master Kakashi said we had a new mission today!" Naruto took the elder boy's hand and began to run in the direction they were told to meet.
"Slow down! He's usually late anyways." He considered that and slowed down.
"Okay!" He grinned and they both walked, Naruto only a few inches in front. As he walked, he couldn't help but overhear a hushed conversation.
"Look at that beast."
"Shush, you know it's forbidden to speak of it!"
"He knows himself already. Damn, why couldn't he have been found a little bit later? That way we wouldn't have to be burdened by his presence."
"You're right. Look what he has done to Uchiha! The poor boy must have been forced by those masters of his to hang out with the monster!" Naruto's face fell as he listened to the two women scorning him as if he wasn't there. He suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap gently around his waist and a head rest on his head. Sasuke's head was turned to the women, who were staring at him in shock, as if to say 'I'm here because I want to be, so shut up before I send you flying!' Naruto blushed but smiled as he rested a hand on his boyfriend's.
Okay, jumping off the waterfall wasn't the brightest thing he's ever done, hell, it had to be the stupidest! But the outcome of it made the pain seem slightly worth it. He knew he had more friends than he ever considered, he realized that nothing he did could change the villager's dislike, so he may as well just live with what they say and laugh about all the things they say about him he knew wasn't true. After his little crying fit, he's felt lighter and happier than he's ever felt in his entire life, his depression long gone, and one more thing, something he felt was more important than everything else put together.
He and Sasuke were together now, and that, by far was the best thing that could have ever happened to Naruto. Even if he went the rest of his life without the villager's respect or never got the Hokage title, as long as he still had Sasuke, everything else didn't matter. Even Sasuke, usually hard, indifferent, cold Sasuke, had changed. Naruto didn't realize that the elder boy could be capable of so much emotion. Not that he was complaining.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Sasuke murmured in his ear, causing Naruto to visibly shiver. The two were now in a deserted alley, Sasuke's arms still wrapped possessively around the blonde.
"I was just thinking of everything that has happened in the last two months." Naruto said leaning into Sasuke's embrace.
"You shouldn't think more than your brain can handle." He teased and Naruto turned around to hit his shoulder playfully.
"That was mean!"
"What can I say, I'm a mean person."
"Sasuke, how did you get so weird?"
"Most likely being around you."
"I don't know."
"Now who's the weird one?" Naruto giggled childishly at the playful argument they just had. He felt a hand lift his chin up and he was looking into mischievous black eyes. Sasuke smirked before leaning down and capturing his boyfriend's lips in a rough and passionate kiss. Naruto immediately responded as he parted his lips, allowing Sasuke's tongue to dive in and explore the sweet caverns. Sasuke was addicted to Naruto's taste, that was something they both knew, but as much as he loved Naruto's taste, Naruto loved Sasuke's more. Only he never had to initiate a kiss because Sasuke was always beating him too it.
The boys suddenly felt as if someone was watching them. Both boys turned to the entrance to the alley, both their faces flushed and their lips swollen. Standing there were Sakura and Kakashi. Sakura was shaking her head and giggling to herself while Kakashi…well, they think Kakashi smiled a perverted smile, but who could tell with that stupid mask.
"Please, carry on! Don't let us interrupt!" He said.
"Pervert." Sasuke growled, his arms still around Naruto's waist. The mentioned blonde smiled before pulling away and taking Sasuke's hand as they walked to the rest of their team. Okay...Naruto was a monster, but he was a happy monster and that's all that mattered.
I don't really like this story, and I know the chars are a bit OOC, but here it is. This is what happens when you have a sprained ankel and have nothing to do but wallow in your thoughts.