I don't own Harry Potter. R&R if you want me to keep going or if you don't. I wanted to write this after seeing The Lake House (good movie, by the way).
It's me, James, even though you probably already know that because I probably delivered these in person…or I didn't, I'm not really sure because you won't be reading this for months and I can't tell what I'm going to be doing then, you know? But I'd like to think that I would deliver these to you myself, so I'll just assume that you know who I am, but I told you anyways just in case, so now you definitely know…I'm babbling. Sorry. I'm going to write you a letter a day, Lily, and I mean that. One for every bloody day of our bloody seventh year. And at the end of it all, when we get on the train back to King's Cross and are going away from Hogwarts forever, I'll give them all to you and maybe then you'll believe me when I say that I've matured and that I love you.
I told you that today, on the train. You laughed and kind of scoffed at me, and you told me that I'd never grow up and that even if I did I would still be too much of a prat for you to go out with me. Why do you do that, Lily? I mean, I know I can be a bit immature at times, but you don't really know me. You could if you wanted to. If you tried, I'd let you in. I'd answer any question you asked me without hesitation, because I want you to know me. If you're going to put me down, I'd like to think that you had spent enough time with me for what you were saying about me to actually be valid. And maybe I don't know enough about you, either, to claim that you're flawless and amazing, but I've tried, Lily! I've asked you about your family and your childhood and what's going on in your life and what are you doing for summer and what do you want to do after school ends and do you know what you do? You shut me down and you walk away.
I saw you at King's Cross. You were with your mum and dad (your sister wasn't around, but she usually isn't), and you were crying. You weren't sobbing or making a scene or being loud or anything, and you didn't seem angry, you were just…sad. And I really wanted to go up to you after they walked away and ask you what was wrong but I knew you'd yell at me and I really want you to like me so I'm trying really hard not to make you angry with me, so I just sort of watched you walk off and wipe your eyes and get into a compartment where you met up with some friends, and after that I went off to look for Sirius and Remus and Peter. I didn't see you again until we had to go up with the prefects.
You seemed really surprised when you saw that I'd been made Head Boy. I was too, of course, as were my friends, but your reaction was almost insulting. You snapped at me that stealing Remus' badge wasn't going to impress you and that if I didn't return it right away you'd take points way and we hadn't even gotten to Hogwarts yet. You really don't have any faith in me, do you? And I'm sorry if you read this and think that I don't like you very much, because I know this is kind of how this is coming off and that's how I mean all this, its just that I don't think you really realize how I really feel. I said earlier that I'd tell you everything if you asked, but you haven't and this is the only way I can think of to get you to sit down and realize what I feel and go through on a daily basis and I kind of just wanted you to know that it hurts when you yell at me when all I want to do is impress you, even if I don't ever show it. And maybe that's my fault and maybe I should, I don't really know. But I think you'd tease me if I showed it, too.
Hope you had a good day and I hope that whatever it was you were crying about wasn't something serious and I hope that when I give these to you, you make it to the end of this letter and don't just chuck them all in the fire or stuff them in your suitcase or something and I hope you know that I think you're the most amazing creature on the planet, I really do. More amazing and beautiful and wonderful than a Veela, even, and if you know what a Veela is (and I think that you probably do, since you read so much), then you know that that's a really big compliment.—James