Note: I'm not gay, but I just saw Brokeback Mountain, so I came up with this.

RJ & Hammy.


Hammy had realized he was gay and liked RJ after RJ started dating Heather(
RJ & Heather). He knew RJ wasn't gay, but he still liked him. Then, a lightbulb blinked on inside his head.

Chapter 1

Hammy formed a plan. First, he would ask him to help him find his nuts.
Second, when they are alone, Hammy will ask RJ if he's enterested in him. Third,
RJ's answer.

Hammy & RJ searched the neighborhoods, and when they were far away, Hammy decided to strike. He asked RJ,"Will you go out with me?"


"Will you go out with me?"

"Hammy, I'm not gay."

Hammy started crying and said,

"You hate me!"

"Hammy, no! I don't hate you, I just don't think of you that way."

"I bet I even ruined our friendship."

"No you didn't, we'll always be friends."

They hugged, and RJ then said,

"Uh, Hammy...Please tell me that's a twig."

Chapter 2

Two years later, Hammy stood at RJ & Heather's wedding. He could barely stand being there. He had to stop himself from crying.

Hammy woke up the next morning, remembering RJ throwing the rock at his head after Hammy saw RJ & Heather having sex. He decided to just lay there, and began to cry.


Hammy turned around, and saw RJ standing there.


"You okay?"

"You threw a rock at my head."

"Yeah, sorry about that. But you were going to wake everybody up."


"Seriously, are you okay? You know, about me marrying Heather?"

"I just don't understand why I'm gay."

"There's nothing wrong with it."

"I know."


"I just want to be alone."


Chapter 3

Hammy stood in the tree, and thought about what he was going to do. Was he really going to jump? Yes. Hammy jumped.

RJ was just waking up, and saw Hammy in the tree. He then saw Hammy jump,
and raced toward the tree. He caught Hammy, and asked him,

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"I don't want to live anymore."

"Oh, Hammy..."

"I mean it."

"I'm not going to let you kill yourself."

"Try and stop me."

"Okay, I will."

RJ pulled out some rope, and tied Hammy up.

"What are doing?"

"We're going to talk. You need help."

"Untie me!"


"RJ, please..."

Hammy began crying, and said,

"I just want the pain to away."

RJ walked over to him, and gave his friend a hug.

"Hammy, killing yourself will hurt everyone around you."

"I don't care anymore."

"Fine. You kill yourself, I kill myself."


"Yep, you heard me."

"RJ, don't!"

"Then stop trying to kill yourself. Now, let's really talk."

Chapter 4

After talking, RJ untied Hammy, who said,


"No prob."

Hammy pulled RJ down, and kissed him.

RJ jumped back.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm sorry!"

RJ's mind began racing, and he realised that he had enjoyed the kiss. My god, he thought. I'm bisexual.

"Hello? Earth to RJ?"


"I'm really sorry."

"Hammy...I'm bisexual."

They both stood there for a moment. And then they both embraced and kisse-


Well, a love triangle began. RJ loved heather, but also loved Hammy. His mind was being torn apart, as they were making him choose. RJ then chose.


Heather ran off crying, and Ozzie puched RJ in the face, giving him a black eye. Hammy helped RJ up off the ground. Then, Hammy picked up a rock, and threw it at Heather's head, knocking her out. Ozzie turned around to them, and RJ threw one at him, knocking him out.

The End.