Who dreamed it?

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.

-Jacques Prévert

It was Sunday, or Saturday or maybe even Monday. No one knew, no one cared, it was December, it was cold and snow was falling in it's silent cold way. It was gentle, but snow was never really sweet, it was only icy, it didn't mean to hurt you. Harley leaned up against the window, feeling the coldness on her skin and looking out at the white snow, so gentle it seemed. Snow didn't mean to hurt anyone, it only wanted to touch you, to feel warmth, but that would kill it, so it fell unto piles with the rest of the snow, no one the same no one different. Just bundles of white snow, huddled together like a group of orphans.

On the radio that was in the kitchen, Harley could hear Time after time, by Janis Loplin. It was a sweet song Harley thought, about two people, who were always there for each other, even if it didn't seem they always could be..

Harley thought, "I wonder if mistah J would always be there for me when I need him, time after time." She thought out loud by the way, she thought out very loud.

So that someone who heard her said, "Well if he was it would be the first time." Harley craned her neck to look for the rude person and say something in her argument, till she realized that the person was simply her and she had never actually said that out loud. But loudly in her head and it echoed only when she heard it again it was slightly distorted, that happened now and then, she paid no mind to it, as she figured it didn't deserve to have any of her mind. Especially not as pay, as it hadn't done anything to get paid.

Harley sat there, cold, feeling the chill down into her body, into her soul, seeing how long she could stay in the cold. Time didn't seem to exist for her and her Puddin', he seemed to be able to control it, as if he could stop it and restart it when ever he liked. He was in bed, with the heater up super high, all the hot blankets snug around him, she thought of him. Laying in bed with his silk purple draw string pants, sticking to him from the sweat, his hair a mess, laying there, blankets probably tangled. His eye lids probably flickering, his eyes moving under them, dreaming, dreaming he was. She wondered what he was dreaming about, sometimes Harley wondered if she was the one dreaming.

If perhaps it was all a dream, that she was still his doctor and she had fallen asleep with his massive file open, with pictures of him scattered all over her bed. If maybe she had gone to sleep and was having one of the many dreams about being his, that she so had back then. If she might wake up soon and be Dr. Harleen Quinzel again, but the interesting part would be if she did all she did in this dream, if it were a dream, in real life. Then she could know what was going to happen, and make things right, before they happened. Or even more splendid a thought was that perhaps she would wake up, run away with him and he would marry her and retire from crime and they would live happily ever after.

Or, even a more intricate thought was that what if she was actually a student still looking over papers in her psychology class and came upon the Joker's papers and dozed off in the library, as she had often done. Ah, but then perhaps this wasn't even her dream, if of course it was a dream, what if, she thought; oh what if it was mistah J's dream. Now wouldn't that be interesting, she thought, if it was really Mistah J's dream. If perhaps it was her first day at Arkham and he had seen her, and laid down on her little bunk and fell asleep.

Then perhaps he had dreamed all this, or even yet the most interesting thought that had come to her, was what if she didn't exist at all? What if Joker just thought her up, just a fake little thought of the perfect girl, or just one that would amuse him. A little blonde, blue eyed jester, his little Harlequin he probably would have thought, then decided on calling her Harley. Perhaps for the same novelty the collage boys would talk about her, that always made her mad, even if she hadn't put out they would say she was 'a good ride'.

And perhaps, after he had thought about the idea of her for a few minutes to amuse himself, and under the influence of some hospital drugs, he fell asleep. And he was dreaming all of this right now, and soon, this was the worst part, soon he might wake up and Harley would be no more than a faded memory of an interesting dream. Perhaps that's why there was no time, she thought, and she didn't know what day it was, or maybe that was simply because she was faintly drunk, a bit of a hang over and she didn't have a calendar. But hey, who knows, right? All this talk of dreams reminded her of an old Chinese proverb. It was about an emperor who had the most intense dream that he was a butterfly, and when he awoke, the dream was so real he wondered if he was a man who had dreamed he was a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming he was a man.

Harley heard the bedroom door open, and the sound of soft footfall on the marble, black, so very polished floor. Marble floor? Had she ever noticed that before, how odd she thought that the floor was actually marble, how expensive that must have been to have done. Harley's family had never been rich, and she always felt that Joker was too good for her, and her faked knowledge and cheap taste. He always seemed so god like, so very….well perfect is what he seemed, above all else.

He entered the room like the king entering his court, she looked to him, like a noble who thinks it a great honor to lick clean the floor that the king has actually walked on. "Morning Mistah J." She said, voice slightly dismal, but happy, always smiling, giggles in her words she thought.

"Evening Harl." He said with a rather nice smile. She went over to him and put her warm arms around him, and on the very tip of her toes she reached up to kiss him, he was greatly distant but allowed her one small kiss before quickly moving on to the kitchen and escaping her grasp. She held on to the thought of the kiss as she traipsed in to the kitchen after him.

Joker pretended to pay no mind to her, as she hadn't done anything he thought worth paying her with his mind, or even paying her for that matter. She was wearing a silk red nightshirt, it looked like a man's button up shirt. It wasn't buttoned very much, just two buttons buttoned. The sleeves long, covering her hands, just dainty little finger tips showing. Her pretended not to notice the fact that her nipples were hard and her tiny little black thong, silk too was horrible noticeable. But pretending not to notice her was just too much fun.

It was just them, no gang or anything right now, no clown girls, or thugs, no one but them on the little island of St. Petersburg in Russia. It was such a beautiful little place, but the best part was it wasn't some isolated little no where place, no it was a highly populated place, where no one noticed them and no one thought they would ever be. It was sort of vacation, you could say, and they were in a little villa, with marble floors and huge four poster beds and all that lovely fancy stuff that was wonderful for a vacation and a nice change from run down toy and candy stores.

Harley watched Joker ignore her, and eat the frosted little donut for breakfast….no, it was dark outside wasn't it? Then she supposed eating the donut was perfectly fine. The night air was fluttering and fresh, but intensely cold, and rather uncomfortable. In side it was very warm, very, very warm actually, and that was fine. The moon was a bright white light bulb shining in the cloudy purple/black sky, with tiny little glimmer of stars. It had a real dreamy feel to it all, an almost unreal feeling that made Harley want to snuggle up all nice and warm in bed and everything to be perfect, just her and her Puddin' forever.

"Harley, is everything ready for tonight?" He asked in a palsied tone, that told her tonight was going to be a big one, the tone wasn't excited, because things would be exciting tonight.

"Yessir Puddin'". She said in a tone that suggested for the first time she was really sure things were ready.

"It's going to be the first time in a while that we did anything with out the chance of Batman being around….and the second time we did anything with just us two." He paused a second, and seemed to drift off to another time and place, his eyes glazed over, his memory had taken him off some where right then. Harley wondered where he was.

As he drifted off to a thought somewhere in the world, in his world, his mind drifted to the first time he and Harley had ever done a job alone…But to him it wasn't really a 'job', it was fun, pure fun. The world was their playground, the world was his, tonight no one would dare mar the perfect chaos that he planed to play in all through the night. Oh, it wasn't his city, there was no Batman, no gang, no nothing. Just his Harley, and the lovely city they were dwelling in at the time.

Harley thought of it as a vacation, as a break, but it wasn't…It was the start of something new, they wouldn't be here long. Just long enough to test something out, Harley was in a sense the bait for it all, or rather the trigger. And for once, he knew she couldn't mess this up, because she messed up every job they had, therefore she would do perfectly on this one. The first time they worked alone, she cling to him, she was scared but excited. She didn't know how to use a gun, and shot four people that night, even though she was only aiming for one. The first time she killed someone they weren't alone, they had some of the gang with them, it was a pitiful kill, but rather painful for the guy as it took her forever to shoot him in a fatal place.

She herself seemed rather, rather strange. Strange for whatever it was that she was, perhaps that's the only reason he put up with her horrible attempts at a sidekick and villain, he wondered if Batman had to put up with robin like this. Had she not been so very strange he never would have kept her this long, yet through her constant mess ups and failures she never failed to be amusing. Even as a doctor she was strange, utterly strange. She was scatter brained, messing up constantly, she took naps at work because she couldn't sleep well at night.

Super obsessive, very impulsive, smart in a strange way. She knew Chinese proverbs and read huge books about life and art, she wrote long term papers and analyzed things with high perception, but locked herself out of her car all the time. Dropped her lunch tray three times, and two times slipped on the drink she spilled. She was horrible clumsy, over sized glasses sitting on the end of her nose with her face in a 1000 page book that she could quote word for word after and call it fantastic and give a summery. However, she couldn't figure out what they wanted to know when they asked, "What is meant by neurotic."

She would sit across from Joker, with her note pad in one hand and her pen behind her ear. Then when she had a note to take, and couldn't remember what she did with her pen, she turned her office upside to find out it was behind her ear. Pushing the glasses up on her nose with her index finger and pulling up the skirt to make it more to her length, yet she tried to be so professional flirting with the guards but never smacking her gum. Talking with the big-time doctors about how utterly insane and horrible Joker was, but when he smiled at her in the cafeteria she blushed terrible. Strange, strange Harley Quinn. She didn't really seem insane, not right then or back before, just odd.

Screwing Joker, but trying to cure him right after, listening to his murder stories and asking for gory details, and wanting to know everything, listening like it was so interesting, so fantastic. Eyes wide, no longer disgusted by it, perhaps it excited by it he thought. But still trying to play perfectly sane doctor Quinn. Telling Dr. A it was perfectly okay that she was in love with him and there was no reason for her to loose her job over it, it wasn't like she was under his influence or anything. What? Just because she helped him escape a few times, slipped him weapons, covered for him, or logged him at her house once or twice, no, really she said, I'm in perfect control.

However, she ever fell in love with him he still didn't know, that had to make her nuts he figured. The simple fact that she glorified him, he knew killing those people was wrong, horrible, but that's what made it so fun. If it was okay, if he didn't understand what he was doing, it wouldn't have been the thrilling game it was. He tried not look at her right then, as she stared at him with that annoying little adoring look. Yep, he was sure, she was nuttier than he was, she was really out of her mind.

"Well go get dressed." He said getting up and going into his dressing room picking out the perfect thing for tonight.

She jumped up and ran into her bedroom, black light filling the room, red paint with black high lights. Pictures of Joker stapled, pasted, tapped, nailed up to the walls all over. Some of her favorite news clippings up too, a lot of gag toys and other junk that cluttered the little room. She swung open the closet door and pulled out the red and black costume that was her life. She was excited about working with just him and her tonight, and for once she wasn't going to mess up. No for once, she was going to do everything, perfectly right.

She put the costume on, she remembered the first time she ever put it on, how wonderful that had felt. How free, the freedom of her chains, she thought. How utterly free she was in that costume, how trapped and contained she had been before as a doctor. She thought she was free back then, but she wasn't, she was tied down to her job, to pleasing people she didn't care about and working for those masters that were only using her. People might think Joker was only using her, but she knew different, she knew she would have been dead long ago if he had been using her, because she wasn't much use.

Costume on, perfect, she thought as looked into the big gigantic mirror all cracked so it was strange but wonderful to look at. Still together, but in pieces, like everything really. And when she looked into it she saw her self, but in a million pieces, just like she was, in a million pieces. Broken, but more together than ever before. She grabbed her purse loaded with guns and ammo and gag toys and a rubber chicken with a brick in it, and exploding cigars and all that good stuff.

She walked out into the main room with a smile playing the sweet lips covered in black lipstick, thick and sweet, sweeter yet with each day. And the salty tears that touch them at night only make them sweeter, because it only makes her love her Puddin' all the more, all the more. Never hating him for what he does, she could never hate him, because she has no reason to hate him. She's only filled with gratitude and sweetness, the sweetness that he may have and he never even need ask, it's his for the taking.

He stepped out of his dressing room, black and silver Italian very tailed suit that fit to a tee. Purple, very shinned shoes and purple hat and trench coat, over the three pieces black and silver suit. Black and silver gloves with the shiny little black button, so tiny and glossy the button looked, snapped perfectly, Harley wondered if the button felt as glossy as it looked.

"Perfect me, well done you, are you ready?" He asked with a large smile.

Harley ran over to him and cling to him tightly, so tightly he couldn't push her away, but he made little attempt to. "I'm very ready." She said with glee in her voice.

They left the perfect little villa and got into the silver sports car with a deep purple, almost burgundy interior. Harley thought, the funny thing about it all was, the car was so expensive and classy, but on the mirror hung two stuffed dice. Harley put it in gear, and peeled out of the driveway at crazy speeds. Joker, not he least bit noticing, or so it seemed, looked perfectly relaxed. She turned on the heater, and let the warm air fill the car. She was stone cold in the spandex costume.

"Isn't this great Harley girl?" he looked to her saying.

She replied with a smile, "Yeah Puddin', it couldn't get betta."

"Now, your going to do everything just right tonight, otherwise I'm going to have to see how long you can survive stuffed inside a very small freezer…Kay?" He said smiling.

The thought of being stuffed in a freezer, right then, wasn't the most pleasant so she said back rather timidly, "I know mistah J, ta night's the night I get everything perrrrrrfecto!" She tried to be confident, because she really did plan to get everything right tonight. She would finally do something right, she didn't care how hard she had to try. No more, mess ups, no more clumsiness, no more fumbling, no more nottin! This time she would finally get it right!

The car sped quickly along the icy little streets, and pulled into a parking lot with little silence. Harley opened her door and jumped out quickly getting over to open Joker's door before he could. She smiled, he ignored her and jumped out of the car. They walked, arm an arm, up to the small, but elegant famous little art gallery. Joker stepped up to the door, he quickly picked the lock.. As they stepped inside he looked to Harley, "Do you have your powder?"

She nodded and quickly took it out blowing it in the main room and in the next room. The main room had only a security camera, but because most of the valuable stuff as in the next room, that's where the security beams were; and lots of the too.

"Well Harley why don't you go in first, get past the beams, shut down the alarm then come back and get me?"

"Me?" She asked.

"Of course you, who else is here…besides you can't except me to do it, you're the lackey."

She swallowed hard saying, "You got it mistah J." And blew more powder into the air. She watched the red security beams glow all over the room in a spider web design. She held her breath for a second, and thought back to her first backhand spring. It was all in her mind, her balance, her strength, everything to get past the beams. Then she thought to her first backhand spring on the beam, now that was scary. She wasn't so worried that she would fall off the beam, but that she would fall on to the beam. And she did fall, several times, but eventually she got it perfect, and tonight she would get it perfect.

Then she let her breath go and she started, under, over, in between, she even did a back walk over, and a front tuck. Amazing she thought, absolutely amazing, she hadn't set off the security yet! Joker watched, with less excitement. Yet, still as he watched her quickly punch in the security code, he thought, amazing. The one time he wants her to mess up, the one time he needs to her mess up, that's the time she does it perfectly. He needed her to set of the security, then they would have time to grab a few things and get out of there. But security would be alarmed, they would watch the tape, it would be breaking news. Joker and Harley Quinn in Russia, it was a simple test.

Batman had been trying to catch Joker for months now, after he killed that woman in front of her two kids, and Batman. They were playing tag, and so far Joker was winning. Now he wanted to see if Batman would hull his Bat-butt all the way to Russia. But of course, Harley messed up that plan too. Well maybe not, she might set off some other alarm before they were out of there, just maybe.

She came strutting back with a small painting under her arm, "OK Mistah J, lets go rob 'em blind!"

Then he looked up, ah, of course! The top part of the gallery had stuff they hadn't put out yet, and probably a loud alarm. "Great, good job Harl. I'll loot that room and you go upstairs and see if there's any good stuff, Kay?" He said.

She smiled and quickly agreed climbing the steps and picking the lock. He began taking the most valuable things and putting them in the bag. It had been about fifteen minutes before he came to the place where Harley grabbed that painting, that's when it hit him. That painting hadn't been on the wall like the others, it was set up inside a display case with other things that artist had done, and as he looked closer at the display case he noticed the slightly depressed small cube that the painting had been on. Silent alarm! And that had been fifteen minutes ago! Cops would be here any second! No, they probably already were.

They probably already had Harley too, damn it! Then as he heard a faint tapping above him, he looked up and saw Harley from a vet whispering, "Puddin, cop cars are on their way, I saw 'em from the window up here. We gotta get outta here! But, the door I came in at is jammed, I'm stuck."

He started out the door when he heard Harley's sniffled cries and went back to the vet, "Open the vet! Quickly!"

She pried open the vet, "I don't have any rope!"


"I can't, it's too high, I'll break my ankles from the impact."

He sighed then said in a mumble, "I'll catch you, now make it quick."

A bright smile spread across her lips as she jumped, landing safely in his arms. She kissed him before jumping out of his arms. They ran over to the door, only to see cops right out front. They quickly exited the back way and stole some old car, just making it home with out anyone the wiser. The plan worked, to some degree, they almost got caught.

"Harley!" He yelled, with rather unpleasant tones. "I can't believe you didn't see that silent alarm!…No wait, I can believe it! You could have got us caught, do you know that? Not too mention I lost my brand new car!" Harley was biting her lip and looking quite pitiful. Then, in the middle of scalding her, he heard several cars pull up to the villa, and he looked at Harley, "Did you watch to see if we were being followed?"

"I thought you were doing that." She said softly. He went to hit her, but realized there was no time.

"Great, that's just peachy Harley! Were caught now, you know that don't you, and not even by Batman! And let us not forget were caught in Russia! Were dead." He thought for a second, then headed to the side room. The fire place was off, which was good. He went in, as Harley watched. And moved a brick, causing the back of the fireplace to open out into the frozen garden on the side yard. The garden was huge and would allow them to be able to escape.

Cops began breaking down the door, Joker quickly exited into the garden. Harley ran to her room to grab her favorite picture, when the cops got in. She was on her way out the fireplace, when she was shot in the leg. She still managed to get out into the garden. Snow and cold frost covered everything, Harley was freezing, and every breath she took could be seen in the cold, cold weather. She was dragging alone in the snow, without the use of her left leg. She couldn't see Joker anywhere, she didn't want to call out for him fear the cops would hear her.

"Puddin'." She whispered softly, still no answer came. "Puddin'." She called out again louder. Then she heard footfall to her right, everything was getting kinda blurry, blood was flowing from her leg and she was so, so very cold, she was feeling dizzy. She turned to her right to see four cops standing over her with gun, they were speaking in Russian but she knew what to do. Hands up where they could see them, and all that jazz. Her Puddin', and left her, she thought, and she sighed, abandoned once again.

The cops slapped the cuffs on her and one of them kicked her, she assumed it was because they were yelling in Russian for her to stand up, and hadn't seen the blood gushing from her leg. Dizzier and dizzier, finally someone must have saw the blood and they patted her down for weapons before picking her up and starting to carry her to the car. Then she heard a lot of screaming and yelling, people falling, till splat, the guy holding her fell to the ground and blood was running from his head.

She giggled slightly in her dreamy daze and looked around, till she saw a tall skinny figure holding a twelve gage shot gun. "I always keep one of theses just in case." He said as his red lips spread in a smile.

He walked over to Harley, and scooped her up, she held on to him, freezing and dizzy. "Ya came back for me Puddin'."

"Course I did Harley girl." Then he kissed her, "I love you God damn it!" And pretty white snowflakes were quickly covering all the red, red, blood spilled on the ground as they got into one of the cop car.

Joker sat up in his cell in Arkham, he yawned and looked over to Harley who had woken him up by yelling, "Puddin'." Across from his cell.

"What do you want?" He said.

"Oh, did I wake you?" She asked.

He squinted a mean look saying, "No, I just like to lay around with my eyes closed snoring while I'm wide awake!"

"That's what I figured!" She said happily.

"Now, what do you want?"

"I had the weirdest dream!" She said.

"You think you had a weird dream, jeez, it must have been the cook's special that was served for dinner, cuz I've never had a dream like the one I had…I'm going back to sleep, so shut up." Then he rolled over.

Harley sighed, figuring she could tell him about the dream tomorrow, only, she wondered what was so strange of a dream, that he would think it was strange. He dreamed about dancing bright orange bears and didn't think twice about it, if he would tell her of course, she yawned and tried to go back to sleep. But then she wondered, what if her dream had been real and this was the dream….ah, what did she care, as long as she was with her Puddin'.

The End

-By mistah J's girl

copyright© Mistah J's girl 2001