Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Gi Oh.
The Diaries of Bakura: keep out or I'll send you to the Shadow Realm!
By Silver Sailor Ganymede
I found this old relic in a junk shop in town today and decided to buy it – well I got Ryou to buy it for me, but that's beside the point. I have no idea why though. Still, it gives me an excuse to send people to the Shadow Realm, right? I bet Ryou will end up reading it, he's too nosy for his own good. The thing is that I don't want to send Ryou to the Shadow Realm; after all, whom would Marik and I prank then? Hmmm… maybe Kaiba, he's an arrognt prick and I swear he's in love with his brother. Or maybe the mutt… but then again maybe that's best to leave it up to Kaiba. Or maybe Anzu, her 'friendship is the light of the world and will save us all from disaster etcet-bloody-ra' speeches are so annoying: maybe we should just stick Anzu in a blender like we did to Ishizu's dog-rat-thing. No, wait, that was the cat; we shoved the rat-dog into the microwave. It went kaboom in there: it was kinda gross but really really funny. Needless to say that Ishizu didn't think so, damn woman!
But anyways, did I tell you the niftyest thing about this diary? (And if you're actually reading this then I shall be forced to send you to the Shadow Realm because, my dear Ryoukins your know you shouldn't go through my stuff. At least you should know by now after the 'accident' with the bear trap. You should have known it was there, and by the way I was using it to make roadkill). Anyway, it's cursed! At least that's what the old hag in the junk shop told me. Insert evil laugh here. Now I can unleash the curse and get rid of the damn Pharaoh, then Marik and I can rule the world and eat french-fries all day! And then Marik and I will destroy all the foolish mortals apart from Malik and get the Pharaoh and his brat to do our bidding. Maybe I won't kill Ryou though; he's so fun to annoy. And he looks like a girl (moreso than friendship girl or the mutt's sister: maybe even more than Mokuba, and he really looks like a girl!) And he drinks tea, which is funny because then I can add chilli to the sugar he puts into it and give him a hell of a fright.
Must go now, Ryou's made tacos and he says if I don't get down here now he'll be forced to spork me until I do. Since when has Ryou kept sporks? Al-bloody-right, I'm coming, jeez. I shall write more later… I wonder if Ryou's found his present yet.