There was a new student in our class. Her name is Susie Derkins. She's smart, like I care! Hobbes thinks that I like her, but I don't. I DON'T! Anyway, I insulted her after school, and she ran to her house, crying. Sure, she told my mom (Man, she's such a tattletale), but it was worth it. HA, HA! I like her. Please. Like that's going to happen!
I'm making a Valentine's Day card for Susie. A mean one! All I need are some flowers, and it'll be the perfect 'I hate Susie' Valentine's Day card. I need to go to that flower shop. Gotta go! Hobbes is going with me.
I went to the flower shop. I looked at the flowers that they have. No dirty ones, so I looked in the dumpster they have at the back of the shop. I found one! Dirty, smelly, it's perfect! I can't wait to see Susie's reaction when she see that card! Ha…ha, ha!
Susie was really mad! She threw a snowball at me! I had a huge frostbite! At least she noticed me. Oh, she made my heart…I-I mean, that jerkface! Ooh, I could get a mallet, and hit her in the head with it! Then again, at least she noticed me.
This is where Hobbes writes in Calvin's diary. I told him that idea. Here's the story:
Me and Hobbes were in Calvin's room, looking at Calvin's diary.
"So, where's Calvin?" Hobbes asked.
"He's still looking for me." I said.
"He's probably at my house right now."
"I have a question. What's your real name, age, height, gender, and where do you live?" Hobbes asked.
"My real name is leave me alone, my age is nice try, my height is none your business, my gender is male, and I live In good-bye."
"I have an I dea!" I said.
"HobbesLuigi82 gave me this idea. How about you write in Calvin's diary?"
"Wow! Thanks, Comic book!" Hobbes said.
So Hobbes started writing in Calvin's diary.
Today, Calvin was complaining about homework, so I helped him out. I didn't know anything about math, heck no, so I guessed. Boy, was he mad when he got an F! Hee, hee. I should do this more. I have to go. Calvin's back from school, and I'm going to give him the pounce of a lifetime!
Calvin stole Susie's doll, Binky Betsy. Susie found me eventually, and she took me to her house. She gave me a belly rub. Oh, that felt so good! Oh yeah, baby! Ahem…anyway, so Calvin gave Susie back her doll, and Susie gave me back to Calvin. I adore Susie! Her hair blowing in the breeze, her green eyes glistening in the moonlight, her hot, juicy lips…Oops, Calvin caught me! Gotta go!
Calvin saw Hobbes writing in his diary.
I was there.
"One, who are you, and two, what is he doing writing in my di…I mean, math book?"
"Cool it." I said.
"My name's Comicfreak. I told Hobbes to write in your diary."
Calvin glared at me.
"It was HobbesLuigi82's idea!" I said.
"Oh sure, blame someone another member on Fan friction!"
"It's fan fiction." I quickly corrected.
"Whatever. Get out of here Comic book, or I have to beat you up!"
Calvin was screaming, running to get me.
"You're on your own, Comic book." Hobbes said, running away from Calvin.
"IT'S COMICFREAK!" I yelled, running away from Calvin.
He hit me with a football.
I fell to the ground.
Calvin was now on me.
"It's about time I meet you face to face!" Calvin said.
Calvin slapped me in the face left to right.
"HAVE MERCY!" I said.
And that's how I got beaten to death by Calvin. Lets not talk about that again. Calvin may have defeated me in the battle, but this is NOT the end of the war! Please R&R! OUCH! That's going to hurt in the morning…