A/N: Here's a new fic. I wanted to write something funny and longer than "Follow Me," so I came up with this. I hope you enjoy it and get a laugh or two!
"Come on, Iruka-sensei! Let's go get some ramen!"
Naruto pulled on Iruka's sleeve and steered him towards his favorite ramen shop. The tan chunnin was momentarily caught off-guard, but he soon smiled and nodded his head.
"All right, Naruto. We can go celebrate the completion of your last mission."
Naruto let out a yell in delight and dragged his sensei along faster. Once they reached Ichiraku, they promptly sat down, and Naruto began ordering what would probably be the first of his next ten bowls of ramen. Little did they know that someone was watching them. Someone not too far away…
To remain unnoticed by both the gennin and chunnin, this man had to be more than slightly skilled. He was in fact, one of the most famous ninja in all of Konoha. This jounin was recognized as far as other countries and was known to be highly dangerous by his enemies and highly unpunctual by his allies. His past was a mystery to most, and few had ever even seen his entire face. He watched the two dining before him carefully with two mismatched eyes. He studied everything- the way Iruka smiled, how Naruto continued to rant about everything that had gone wrong during the mission (and how he had yet again proven himself to be undoubtedly superior to Sasuke through his amazing ninja techniques), as well as the general atmosphere between the sensei and his former student. Iruka ruffled Naruto's hair affectionately, as proud as a father would be of his son. The jounin studied Iruka the longest. His beautiful tan face distinctly marked by a long, even scar…His deep chocolate brown eyes that lit up with happiness and closed with delight as he smiled…His shiny hair, tied neatly back into one perfect ponytail…The jounin sighed. He envied Naruto and the all time he was able to spend with the amazing chunnin, while he himself was only able to watch from afar.
True, he had tried to approach the chunnin before, but Iruka had shied away from him, or rather, had run away from him. The jounin supposed that tackling him before confessing his undying love had not been the best approach after all. Well, he could learn from his mistakes. His next attempt would have to be a bit more…indirect.
He wanted Iruka to return his feelings so badly…Iruka with his eyes and smile and hair…Hair? He realized that the dolphin's hair was always tied back whenever he saw him. He had yet to see Iruka wear his hair down. He pictured it- long, shiny, silky, hovering just above his shoulders, framing his irresistibly beautiful face. His heart melted just thinking about it. He couldn't be satisfied with simply imagining it. A new mission had come, he decided. Tomorrow, he would make a plan…
Iruka was walking through the village the next afternoon, on his way home from the academy. It had been a long, tiring day, and he was exhausted. He carried his notes and binders with him, staring up at the sky and admiring the weather. The sky was nearly cloudless, and the sun was shining brightly upon his face. He left the busier part of town and headed to the outskirts where he was surrounded left and right by houses…and lots of places to hide.
A certain jounin was wedged somewhere between these houses, watching Iruka's every move. He heard his thumping footsteps as he walked. He watched him scratch the bridge of his nose where his scar was. He softly hummed along with the tune he heard Iruka humming…and through all of this, Iruka never even knew he was there. He never had a clue that anyone was there- until he sensed the shuriken flying towards his ponytail.
Now Iruka, at chunnin level, was nowhere near as skilled as any jounin in the village. He could not catch two shuriken and spin them on his fingers while reading Icha Icha Paradise (for one thing, he would probably never be reading the book), and he could not break out of an advanced genjutsu that a skilled enemy might throw at him…but Iruka was a schoolteacher, and like anyone who had to deal with annoying, loud, squabbling children, he knew a thing or two about preparing for anything the class clown or prankster might throw at him…even if what the kid was throwing was a shuriken (which it very well could be, especially during weapon training outside). With expert skill and grace, he swung his head down just as the shuriken went whizzing by. Iruka smirked. Nice try, he thought smugly. Too bad his "assassin" was no pushover. Even before Iruka's smug smirk could disappear, he felt something behind his head loosen as two more nearly silent shuriken came whizzing by. These were the backups…and they cut through most of the slightly thick hair-band that he used to tie back his hair until there was only one little tread holding it together. Just before it snapped, however, Iruka's hand quickly shot up and he grabbed the base of his ponytail, keeping it from falling down. Then, he naturally pulled a spare hair-band out and tied his hair back up again, letting the broken one fall to the ground. This left the hidden jounin frustrated, but he was determined not to give up.
It was only a moment after an annoyed Iruka had finished tying up his hair that he heard a familiar voice calling to him.
An excited-to-an-unthinkable-level Naruto came running towards him with a big smile on his face. When he reached Iruka-sensei, he jumped up and hugged him, even more tightly than usual. Iruka grunted slightly from having his ribs squashed and ruffled Naruto's hair, smiling.
"Good to see you, Naruto. How are you doing?"
Naruto didn't break away from his hug.
"Great, Iruka-sensei! I beat Sasuke today in training again! We had a contest to see how many kunai we could hold in our mouths, and I won with twenty-two!"
"Oh really, Naruto? Good for you," Iruka laughed slightly, trying to imagine Sasuke with a mouth full of kunai, but somehow, failed to do so.
"Yeah, well I always did have a big mouth," Naruto laughed.
Iruka was surprised to hear the gennin somewhat insult himself, but he shook it off.
"With all the ramen you eat, of course you do!" the brunette smiled…before smacking himself on the head.
He had just said the "R" word.
"Ramen!" Naruto yelled, as if on cue, "That sounds great! Let's go get some right now!"
And with this, he gave Iruka a tighter squeeze and nuzzled his head against his sensei's chest like a cat. Iruka looked down at the mass of blonde hair and sighed. He knew there was no saying "no."
As they walked to their favorite ramen shop, Naruto grabbed onto Iruka's hand and started swinging it merrily. Iruka looked at the gennin with a smirk on his face. The kid looked happier than usual. Training must have really gone well for him today. Of course, any day he can best Sasuke is a good one to him, Iruka thought. Naruto clutched Iruka's hand tighter, his face beaming. When they finally reached the restaurant, the blonde ninja leapt onto the stool next to his former sensei and leaned towards him, resting his head on Iruka's shoulder.
"You seem rather affectionate today," Iruka commented.
Naruto leapt, as if caught in a suspicious act.
"I'm just happy to be with you Iruka-sensei!" he replied cheerfully, "You know I love it when you take me out to ramen!"
"Of course," Iruka laughed.
They ordered their bowls of ramen and started their regular conversation.
"So what's new with you, Naruto? Anything happen between now and, um… yesterday?"
"Not much," Naruto replied, "Besides me beating Sasuke, that is. Kakashi-sensei had us doing litter patrol in the park. It was boring!"
"Doesn't sound like a very fun sensei…"
"He's not that bad!" Naruto said defensively, "I mean…at least he trains us well. Even picking up trash is good for…discipline."
"Discipline, huh?" Iruka asked, amused.
Naruto shrugged. There was a moment of silence between them before Naruto finally turned to Iruka slowly with a harmless look on his face.
"What do you think of Kakashi-sensei?" he asked innocently.
He gave the blonde ninja a confused look.
"That's a bit random, don't you think? I barely even know the guy…"
He thought back to the time he had been tackled and shuddered slightly. The Copy-Nin had knocked him to the ground and squeezed him so tightly, ranting about his undying love and unquenchable passion and whatnot until Iruka had just wanted to scream and stab him with a kunai. He had finally escaped by grabbing onto the edge of Kakashi's mask in his teeth when the jounin had gotten close enough, and the threat of having his face exposed had startled the Copy-Nin so much that he had instinctively reached up to prevent himself from being unmasked, thus giving Iruka a chance to break free and escape. It had not been a memorable experience.
He didn't want Naruto to think that he hated his sensei, though, so he didn't say anything about this.
"He's…all right, I guess. A little strange sometimes…"
That's a bit of an understatement, he thought to himself.
"Why do you ask?" Iruka demanded suddenly, "He hasn't been saying anything about me has he!"
Their bowls of ramen came, and they continued to talk while eating them, Iruka feeling a little nervous. Naruto looked uncharacteristically calm as he broke apart his chopsticks and took a short slurp of noodles before turning back to his sensei.
"Kakashi-sensei told us that he thinks you're a really great person," Naruto informed him with a smile, "He says you take your work seriously and you're very disciplined. He also says you're the kindest ninja he's ever met, and you really care about your students!"
"K-kakashi said that?"
Naruto nodded eagerly, slurping his noodles.
"He also thinks he was an idiot…for whatever happened last week. He wanted me to tell you he's sorry."
"Why didn't he just come and apologize himself!" Iruka demanded angrily, but then caught himself and tried to cool down.
He didn't want Naruto asking him questions about what had happened between them.
"He thinks you wouldn't want to talk to him," Naruto said simply, with a hint of sadness in his voice, "He thinks you hate him."
"I-I don't hate him…" Iruka stammered.
"Really?" Naruto asked, almost hopefully.
"Really," Iruka confirmed, "Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. I suppose I could forgive him…"
He was unprepared for the force of the hug Naruto gave him, which was another rib-squashing squeeze.
"Iruka-sensei! You're such a nice person!" the gennin yelled happily.
Iruka's face turned red again, and he pushed Naruto away embarrassedly.
"H-hey, come on now. Look, you've only finished one bowl of ramen. That's really strange for you. Usually you wolf down your first three bowls only seconds after they arrive! Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
He put a hand to Naruto's forehead as if checking for a fever. Naruto blushed at Iruka's touch and concern, but then put up his hands reassuringly.
"No, no! I'm fine! I swear!"
A drop of sweat slid down his neck. Iruka looked at him suspiciously but then shrugged.
"If you say so…"
As if to prove his point, Naruto slurped down his bowl of noodles and asked for another one. Iruka watched the young ninja enjoy himself, with a smile. Even if he was acting a bit strange, Naruto seemed even happier than ever. Iruka was glad to see him so content. The brunette leaned over his bowl and continued slurping his own noodles.
Next to him, the young blonde ninja stared at the chunnin out of the corner of his eye. Now's the best time, he decided. Iruka reached to grab another napkin as the broth from the ramen dripped down the sides of his mouth towards his chin. Naruto was hunched over his own bowl, as if about to pounce. Then, without warning, the gennin sat up quickly and formed a hand seal.
"KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!"
"Naruto, wh- Ah!"
A clone suddenly jumped on his back as if giving him a hug while at the same time, pinning his arms to his sides. The chunnin was too surprised to react. What was Naruto doing! Just as he was about to break free of the clone's hold, another one leapt at him from the side, reaching for his ponytail. Iruka's eyes widened as the clone's hand grabbed his hair-band and pulled it off in a flash, letting Iruka's hair fall loose. It drifted down and hung just above his shoulders, shiny and smooth. The gennin beside him watched it as if it happened in slow motion and was held in awe as he gazed upon an Iruka that he had never seen. So beautiful! he thought, breath-taken. Finally, Iruka regained his senses and broke free of Naruto's clone. He attacked the ones surrounding him until they all disappeared in puffs of smoke before turning back angrily to the original Naruto sitting next to him.
"So you were the one who was trying to attack my hair-band earlier!"
He glared at the young ninja, who strangely enough, was looking at him with a red, gaping face as if he were in a trance.
Before Iruka could even finish his sentence, the gennin leapt onto his lap from his stool and wrapped his arms around Iruka's shoulders and neck. Then, pulling him close, Naruto pressed his lips against his sensei's in a way that could only be described as passionate. Iruka could barely move from the shock. His long hair brushed against the gennin's whiskered cheeks, and he could barely register that his former student's small lips were locked with his own.
When Iruka finally was able to think clearly again, he realized the truth, and suddenly, everything began to make sense. Red with fury and embarrassment, the chunnin shoved the gennin away from him, and with one powerful punch, sent him flying towards the ground.
"YOU!" Iruka roared.
Naruto's form suddenly changed to reveal Kakashi's crumpled body.
"Oww," the jounin whined, rubbing his sore cheek.
Iruka was trembling in fury.
"Kakashi, I can't believe you would do such a thing! I take back everything I said about forgiving you!"
Kakashi attempted a smile, even though sweat was sliding down the back of his neck. He raised his palms in defense.
"Come on now, Iruka…It was just a joke…I really did mean everything I said about you being such a nice person…"
The chunnin was unforgiving.
"You won't think I'm 'such a nice person' when I'm through with you!" Iruka screamed at him.
With that, he leapt at the jounin and attacked him relentlessly. Moments later, Naruto passed by and saw the two fighting.
"Iruka-sensei!" he cried, "Why are you beating up Kakashi-sensei!"
It took a moment for Iruka to convince himself that this was the real Naruto, not another one of Kakashi's tricks. He looked up at Naruto from the ground, Kakashi's neck locked in his elbow.
"Oh…Hi, Naruto. Kakashi-sensei and I were just, uh…training! Yeah," he laughed.
Naruto gave him a strange look, but then grinned.
"Oh…Okay, then…Here, you dropped your hair-band," the young ninja said, handing it to him.
"Thank you," Iruka said, taking it before realizing that he hadn't seen Naruto pick it up off the ground.
"By the way, Iruka-sensei, your hair looks really good like that!"
Suddenly, the Kakashi Iruka was holding turned into a stool in a poof of smoke just as the "real" Naruto sped away. Iruka blinked for a moment before his face resumed its red color, and he leapt up to give chase, screaming.
The disguised Copy-Nin laughed as Iruka ran after him- afraid of getting caught, but at the same time, enjoying the chase all the way.
So, at what point did you figure it out? Haha. I tried to make it somewhat obvious, but it might be funnier if you read it over again,knowing the truth the entire way! Hope you liked it. I will love you forever if you leave me a review! XD If you liked this, you might also enjoy the sequel, Iruka's Revenge! Check it out!