Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN A THING. Everything's J.K.Rowlings, my plot only.

Author's Notes: Thanks for all that reviewed My Dear First love, and for those who supported my idea of turning the poems into a story. Thanks to those who are loyal reviewers and those who speak their minds. It means a lot.

Won't keep you long, This is my first chap of "Deep Inside my Soul" uhm, don't know if I like the title, read the chap and then tell me what you think of it.


Chapter 1 : Love drives me crazy

A year have passed since Voldemort was killed and his Death Eaters locked in Azkaban. Two years and some months have passed since her heart was broken by the death of Sirius Black.

Hermione never told her feeling about Sirius to anyone. Her life went worse and worse till she found a way to take her feeling of lonelyness and sorrow out of her. She bought a book where she could write her feelings down.

Her heart have hope still. Her heart still believes she will see her love again.


'Hermione! Wait!' a man's voice called down the hall.

Hermione stopped and turned to wait for her fellow teacher and her best friend Ron Weasley. He was taller now and his red wealsey hair was shorter and brighter than ever. He walked fast to her with his right hand behind his back. In his mind only two things were on, the first was on how beautiful Hermione looked and the second on how she would react to his invitation.

'Thanks for waiting' he said. Hermione just nodded. ' Happy birthday, Hermione.' Ron took his hand from his back and gave her a red roses bouquet with a small card.

Hermione looked strangely at the bouquet as if there was something wrong with it but neithertheless she thanked Ron for his gift. Ron blushed a bit and as if he was looking for words he played with his hands a bit.

'Hermione...,you know that ...'he babbled ' you know that I ...ah...well the thing is that...'

'C'mon, Ron! I don't have all day! I'm late as it is already.' she snapped. Hermione was furious as it was her birtday and to her life seemed worthless.Since the end of the war that Hermione was making herself an outsider, she yelled at everyone and stopped going out with Ron and Harry. She made Snape have a run for his money! Even students called her the "Evil Granger", even the Gryffingors hated her as she was extremly severe and bad to them, though she was their Headmistress.

Ron noticed that change in Hermione but his love towards her was too strong to do something about it. After all he loved her too much since he first saw her as the beautiful woman she is.

'Oh..Okey, ..., Hermione will you have dinner with me tonight?' he asked very fast and very blushed.

With that Hermione stopped her walk and stared at Ron as if she was seeing him for the first time in her life. She knew that in the past Ron had loved her but she didn't see this coming. Her brain said yes but her heart said no. Her heart was still holding the small hand of Hope, wishing she could bring her love back from the veil.

Ron was glaring wishing an answer but Hermione didn't give one. Her mouth opened and closed but no sound came. She was speechless. On one hand she didn't want to broke Ron's heart and in the other hand this might be one oportunity to come out of her misery.

'No, Ron' she whispered finally gaining her voice again. ' I won't go out with you on a date'

Ron looked at his feet and asked why, if there was something wrong about him, he wanted to know if there was something bad about him.

'Don't be a prat Ron!' her temper rising easily as for the past years ' I just can't! I just can't...'

He looked deeply into her eyes 'Is there someone else?' Her mind told her to say no, her heart said 'Yes, Ron there is'.

With that she turned her back on him and went on with her walk.She needed to see Ginny Wealsey. They had business to do.

She was on her way to Hogmead when another shout for her name made her stop and angrily say ' Ronald leave me alone' but it was not Ron that called her but another close friend.

'Happy birthday, Hermione' Harry Potter said from his broom, landing just next to her. Giving her a kiss he asked if there was something wrong. 'Nothing's wrong, Harry' she lied as usually.

'So, Hermione are you going to the party tomorrow?' he asked with his esmerald eyes sparkling deeply.

She gave him a small smile 'No, and don't try to make me go.'

'Why?'

'Because I'm tired and I've plans made for tomorrow' she said goodbye and continued her way to Hogmead and to the Three Broomsticks.


Ginny must be waiting for her. She felt nervous, if everything went well maybe she could have a life again. She sat in the corner drinking a Firewisky. She took her personal book, her diary, from her bag and started to write. She had bought that book to spill her feeling out.She was tired of all that sadness and goshts haunting her but that was about to end and if they didn't,she would end herself.

'Look the birthday girl!' a red-haired woman sat beside her and Hermione put her things back on her bag. ' Looks like it's working,yeh!'

Ginny Wealsey, her best friend and the only one who knew that Hermione was lovesick. Hermione never told her she loved Sirius but she thought that Ginny knew everything. They talked about everything though never using any names. But it was time to do business.

'Hello, Gin. So, did you bring what I asked you?' Hermione asked in a soft low voice. She drank a bit of her drink and then looked back at the red Wealsey in her front.

' It's all there, dear' she handed Hermione a blue bag and Hermione opened it to confirm everything. She nodded there was only one thing missing but that she was going to get tomorrow night. 'So, you actually going to do this?' Gin glared trying to guess her friend's mind.

Hermione thought for a bit but there was no need for thinking, she had already made up her mind. She was going to fight for her freedom even if that meant handless magic that only the powerfull wicthes could handle.

'Yes, Gin. I think I will.'

'Oh, Hermy!Don't! Please, I don't wanna loose you' she gasped ' I gave you the things but please don't, don't use them!'

Hermione sighed, Ginny proofed to be a good and loyal friend, she could trust her with her secret.

'I never told you who rules my heart, Ginny. I think now is a good time to tell you and I need you to help me once more.' she paused as trying to decide if she was doing the right thing. But before she could say anything she saw Ron walking in the bar with Harry. As he saw her, his face turn red and he whispered something to Harry. Both turned and left. Hermione was not sure Harry saw her but Ron did and it hurted to think that she had hurted him so much with her denial.

Ginny glimpsed to see who Hermione was staring and then she turned narrowed at Hermione 'What's up with Ron?'

Another sigh 'He asked me out and I ...well, Gin, I'm not prepared to go out again' Ginny nod.

'You were going to tell me who is he...' she insisted.

'The man I love was our friend, as you know he died...his name was...' the door opened with a loud sound and both ladies looked upon it but no one entered, only the wind entered freezing everyone in the bar. The owner closed it and Hermione turned her gaze to her hands. Should she tell her his name...maybe she already knew...

'Hermy, please continue...'

Okey, here it goes, she thought ' Sirius Black' she whispered.

'What! C'mon be serious... who was he?'

'Sirius Black' she whispered again trying hard to stare Ginny in her eyes.

Ginny looked surprised, that was not who she thought it was. She thought it was Krum, he died in the war a year after it officialy started. All the Hungarian Quittich team was murdered. Ginny thought it was Krum because Hermione started to show her sorrow and pain after his death... or was her, Virginia, that only saw it then?

'Sirius, Mi? Snuffles?' she gasped.

'Yes, go ahead...joke all you want! I know I deserve to be joked... How on earth did I fall for a man old enough to be my father?' little tears were forming in her eyes.

Ginny felt guilty but it was after all an unusual match. Hermione was a every-thing-must-be-perfect-girl and well, Sirius was more a mischivious little bastard, though with a good loving heart. There was no reason for her, Ginny, to suspect Hermione was in love with the Marauder.

'Did he know of it?' was all she asked after a long pause.

'Of course, Gin! I just popped in his room all naked and said, eh doggy I sure fucking love you, though you are older and I'm a fucking fiftheen years old girl!' she snapped her temper going up fast. But then she looked at Ginny, who was a bit angry with her and she sighed.

'No, do you think I would say anything? I was only fiftheen! He would have joked about it! I couldn't handle it if he did so... Then, he died...he fall into that misterious veil... I started to miss him so much, my heart ...I cannot deal with it any longer, Gin...!' Hermione stood up her hand in her face trying to stop the sobs. ' Do you understand why I need to do this? Do you understand now?'

Ginny stood up as well, yes she understood...she knew the feeling. 'I will help in all I can, you bet your big arse on that!' she mused.

Hermione hugged Ginny tight and only then she asked for the big favour... ' Can you make me enter the Ministery without being seen? Tomorrow night...'

Ginny pulled away, tomorrow, wasn't it Halloween? Why on Merlin's sake was Hermione going to do on Hollow Eve? But suddenly a evil and dark idea crossed her mind. Was she going to go throw the veil or was she going to pull him back?

Knowing Hermione as she knew both ideas sounded possible. 'Yes I can but I will go with you!' Hermione smile at this and agreed. With a little kiss she walked back to Hogwarts.

'Tomorrow, Virginia! At eleven p. m. I will be there with all I need...' she said to herself a dark evil shadow in her eyes.


A/N. What is she going to do?

Did you like it, Please review and tell me what you think, no flames please.

Kisses for everyone,

Tuxita