My first humor! Hopefully this is okay. I wanted to do a humor for who knows how long, and finally I wrote one!
First off, I'd like to dedicate this story to Tollgatekeeper. After a good long talk with him, he helped with an idea. So the idea was pretty much his. I just wrote it, and changed a couple of ideas. It's okay though, cause he said I could. Thanks again! Hopefully this story turned out okay.
And yeah, the title sucks. Who cares?
Reunion of a Lifetime
Link nervously paced back and fourth in his dorm, contemplating to himself on what do to. His mind raced with many thoughts and ideas, but nothing seemed to work. He was in a tight dilemma at the moment, trying to find a way to escape it. The ideas that came to mind weren't going to help him out, only ruin him. They were going to hurt him in the long run.
One smasher who seemed pretty excited about this, was the redheaded teen prince Roy. He sat on the edge of Link's bed, silently watching the Hylian pace back and fourth. A smile was held upon his face, as he rested his hands on his knees.
" So, did you come up with anything?"
Link stopped and shook his head. " Nothing! Roy you have to help me--" Link suddenly stopped short, remembering all of the times he had asked Roy to do him a favor. Link immediately frowned and shook his head. " Never mind, don't help me out."
Roy's eyes widened. " Come on Link! I can help you out this time."
Link crossed his arms. " Remember the last time I had asked for you do me a favor?"
Roy bit his lip, pondering the thought. " Ah...no."
" Well I do..."
Flashback: Christmas Party
Christmas music played in the background as the group of smashers sat in the lounge, dressed for the occasion...
Link was sitting--
" Wait, I do remember!" Roy exclaimed.
Link sighed deeply and nodded. " That's why, I don't need your help."
Roy grinned, reminiscing back to the party. " Eggnog...mistletoe..." He laughed deeply.
A knock came to the door causing the two swordsmen to turn their attention to the Altean Prince who entered the room. Link and Roy's mouth hung open as they glanced upon their swordsmen friend. Instead of wearing his usual attire, Marth now wore a black hat, which was cocked to the side, a long blue T-shirt that fell to his knees, baggy black pants, and white sneakers. He wore a long golden chain around his neck, and gold watch and black sunglasses.
Link's arms fell to his side, as he and Roy exchanged perplexed glances. Marth made his way into the room, noticing the awkward gazes.
" Yo, wud up homies?" Marth asked.
" What's with the look, Marth?" Link questioned, raising an eyebrow.
" Well since people think I'm gay, I decided to change my look. Young Link thinks it will help me." Marth explained. " I want to prove to those white trash--"
"--You listened to Young Link?" Roy asked, bursting out in laughter. " Why gangster?"
Marth frowned. " Don't hate, man." Roy continued to laughing. " Look, I gotta bounce and go hook up with my crew. I'll holla at ya'll later."
Link's mouth hung open in disbelief, as Roy was now on the floor dying of laughter. Link shook his head and turned looking down at the prince. He ignored Roy, and left the room.
(In the Hallway)
" What's the problem?" Captain Falcon asked, the troubled Hylian as the two walked the hallways.
Link sighed deeply. " I have a friend who's coming down to visit."
" Really?" Captain Falcon's eyes lit up. " A girlfriend?"
" Well, her name is Malon."
Captain Falcon grabbed Link's arm. " Malon from the ranch? The really hot redheaded one?"
Link steadily grew anxious as he stared at Captain Falcon. " How do you know?"
" I've played Ocarina of Time, like fifty times!" Captain Falcon answered. " Man, when you both are older, she is so damn fine." Falcon whistles.
" Okay...I'll act like I didn't hear that." Link explained, becoming a little grossed out.
Captain Falcon moved on, actually now focusing on Link's problem. " So, why are you so tense?"
" Because Malon and Zelda have been having this battle between me. They both want me, and I don't know who I want…"
Captain Falcon chuckled, crossing his arms. " You're really in a sticky situation, man. Good luck with that one."
Link nodded, but then grabbed Captain Falcon's arm. " Do you have any idea on how I can get out of this."
Captain Falcon nodded. " Yea, you pick one. I take the other."
Link suddenly frowned, pushing Falcon away. " I'm serious!"
" Okay, okay…uh…" Captain Falcon bit his lip thinking of an idea. Pretty soon, his lip began to bleed because of thinking so hard. " I'm clueless."
" Obviously." Link muttered.
Captain Falcon noticed his bleeding lip and panicked, screaming loudly. " Ah! Link! I'm bleeding! Oh my god, I'm going to die! I'm going to die!"
" Falcon! Calm down!" Link cried, completely embarrassed by his friend. " You're fine--"
" Samus! Mommy! I want my mommy!" Captain Falcon began to cry, as he ran down the hallway.
Link sighed deeply and shook his head, heading further down the hallway. As he came upon a group of smashers, his eyes fell upon Marth. A smile appeared on Link's face, as he snapped his fingers finally thinking of an idea.
" I got it!" He exclaimed.
A light bulb appeared and lit up above his head, but then died. Link frowned and nervously looked around the hallway, before quickly leaving.
(Later That Night)
Link sat in the dinning room, nervously awaiting Malon's arrival. The smashers had all agreed to help out with the occasion, and decorated the dinning hall, like a fancy restaurant. Link was astonished at how well the dinning hall turned out.
Luckily Master Hand agreed to set things up.
Link sighed deeply, resting his elbows on the table. He listened to the soft ballad music that they had set up in the far corner. Bowser played the piano, while Pikachu sat at the drums, and Captain Falcon rocked on the guitar.
White cloths covered the tables, and a fountain sat in the middle of the room. The fountain was carved of Master Hand, but ever since of the Frisbee plate incident between Roy, Young Link and Mr. game and Watch, Master Hand now has four fingers.
All of the smashers were present in the dinning hall, with a few exceptions. Most smashers were sitting at the other tables, while others stood off in the side in groups. Marth, of course, still acting gangster.
Link's eyes widened as he stood and swiftly turned, surprised to see Malon embrace him with a hug. Captain Falcon was heard in the distance, whistling.
" I'm so glad to see you!" The young beautiful redhead warmly smiled.
Link nervously chuckled. " Heh, yeah me too."
Malon pulled away and took a seat across from Link, ignoring the gaze from Zelda. Link sat back down.
" How have you been?" Malon questioned.
" I've been good…the tournament is almost over."
" Really? When?" Malon's blue eyes widened.
" In a week…" Link nervously bit his lip.
Malon raised an eyebrow, noticing Link's anxious expression. " Link…you okay?"
Link nodded and turned to the small band playing in the distance. He had to think of some excuse, to by him some time before telling her.
" This music…is terrible…" Link commented.
" Do you want something different?" Malon questioned steadily.
A smile appeared on Roy's face in the distance as he pushed himself passed Marth over to the band. " How about some salsa?"
As if on cue, the band suddenly started playing " Hips Don't Lie," by Shakria. Roy abruptly tore off his clothing, wearing nothing but tight black pants. He spun around, and started belly dancing.
" Wow!" Captain Falcon laughed. " Shake it Roy!"
Peach crossed her arms a little disappointed and turned to Samus. " Okay, that's a little disturbing. You can have him."
Marth's eyes widened as he shook his head. " Fa real yo, that's messed up."
Link's eyes widened as his jaw practically fell to the table. He sighed deeply, shaking his head, as Malon finally turned away from Roy.
" Okay Link…" Malon explained. " I didn't come here to just see you."
Malon shook her head. " I want you to choose!" She cried. " I'm tried of all of these authors writing these love triangles between you, me and Zelda. And not to mention the Malon bashers! You have to choose right now, Link! Is it me, or her?"
Link's mouth hung open as he began stutter, thinking of the right thing to say. " Huh…well…the thing is…"
" What Link?" Malon questioned, almost pleading.
I have to say it. Link closed his eyes. It's the only way to get these women off of me.
" I'm….gay!" There I said it.
The entire dinning hall, gasped, as the music abruptly stopped playing. Roy practically fell off the stage after hearing this news, and Zelda actually fainted. Marth who was the first to recover from the news ran to the middle of the room, laughing.
He pointed to Link, looking around at the other smashers. " Yo! What I did tell you? I knew I wasn't gay! Link is the one who's gay! You hear?"
A voice came from within the audience. It belonged to Bowser. " Marth, do we look like we care? Shut up!"
Marth frowned and pounded his chest. " Keepin' it real!"
Malon, who sat with her mouth hanging open, finally blinked and shook her head in shock. " No…it's not true."
Link frowned and nodded. " Yes, Mal. It's true…" His eyes averted to Marth. " I am in love with…Marth…"
Malon's eyes widened. " Oh no! I did not wait seven years, for you to tell me I have lost to some confused blue-haired prince!"
Marth seemed surprised. " What did you say? Oh, bring it on bitch!"
Pretty soon, the entire dinning hall was turned into a Jerry Springer Stage. Marth, Malon, the fainted Zelda and Link all sat up on stage, while the rest of the smashers at in the audience.
" Ness! Ness! Ness! Ness!" They all chanted.
Ness walked onto the stage, carrying a microphone in his hand, while playing with his Yo-Yo.
" Alright, welcome back to 'Ness.' " Ness greeted.
Pikachu stood on the side of the stage, holding up a large card, that read:
My boyfriend cheated on me for a man. Now he's gay.
Link glanced at the card and shook his head. " Wait a minute!" He turned to Ness. " I'm not their boyfriend…"
Ness grinned. " Of course not. You're gay, remember?"
Marth gangster leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms. " Yo, why da hell am I here?"
" You all are here to settle this issue." Ness replied. " Now do we have anyone from the audience who wants to say something?"
Captain Falcon rose to his feet. " Malon babe, you just need to leave Link's (beeping sound). Go out and find yourself a better (beeping sound) man! Like me!" Captain Falcon grinned. Malon turned looking disgusted. " I got a hot tub at home, we can chill and watch movies…and…"
" Okay, moving on!" Ness interrupted. " We'll figure out Link's decision, after the break."
The audience stood to their feet. " Ness! Ness! Ness! Ness!"
Ness bowed, blowing kisses to the audience and walked off the stage.
" Yo, I gotta bounce. This ain't no place fo me." Marth stood to his feet, and looked down at Malon. " Yo, sexy mama. How bout we head back to my crib? I got a pimped out Escalade we can ride in."
A smile immediately appeared on Malon's face as she stood and grabbed Marth's arm. " Okay." She turned back to Link and frowned. " We're through."
" We were never together!" He cried.
Malon and Marth both walked off stage, leaving the building. Fox appeared from behind stage and walked over to Link, who was now upset that Malon had left. Fox crossed his arms and shook his head, apologizing.
" I'm sorry, you lost Malon." Fox looked down. " You always have Zelda, right?"
Link frowned looking down at the unconscious Zelda and shook his head. " Ah, no…I think I'll pass…"
Someone from the corner, whistled, calling Link's name. " Hey sexy."
Link looked over, and almost gagged at the sight of Ganondorf. Ganondorf grinned, and winked, blowing a kiss in Link's direction.
Link's eyes widened, as he jumped to his feet. " Get me the (beeping sound)out of here!"
Fox laughed as Ganondorf ran after Link.
Ness walked back on stage. " Well, that's it for this week's episode. Tune in next week, when gays become straight and when a woman claims the man she loves is the father of her fifty-eight kids.
Ness waved his hand in the air.
" Night everybody!"
Okay, again…my first humor. So go easy on the reviews. Hopefully it was funny, some of you had to at least chuckle, cause I know I did. Then again, I wrote it, and I think everything is funny…oh well…
Again, this is dedicated to Tollgatekeeper. :)
Oh, I'd like to make an annoucment. The Malon bashing and a couple of other things, was from KILL THE EMPIRE. He's such a great humor writer and I was inspired! Go KILL THE EMPIRE! You rock!
And yeah, pretty much halfway through the story things got random.
Until Next Time!