A/N-So I came up with this idea while reading a few stories (mostly HPSS) and thought it would be funny to write. I hope you like it!
General warnings-As the "story" goes on, there will be some guy/guy or girl/girl (cause that's just the way I am) pairings. I'm sorry if you don't like it. I will warn you at the beginning of each "chapter" what the pairing is.
As well, for all of you out there who hate it when stories are AU, I suggest that you get away from this story fast. Each person will be incredibly out of character. So again, if you don't like it, don't read it.
Chapter warnings- SLASH. BOY/BOY LOVIN'. AU. MINOR LANGUAGE USE.
Summary- Severus never meant to fall in love with the Gryffindor Golden Boy. It just sort of happened. So when he does, he takes matters into his own hands about dealing with it. Needless to say, Fire whiskey was probably not the smartest thing to turn to.
And so we begin
Severus stared gloomily into his cup. It was filled to the brim with fire whiskey and he was wondering how he could drink it as he knew it would spill the minute he picked it up. That was when he noticed the quill sitting on his desk.
It was a new quill that he didn't particularly like but he saw the boy had one just like it so he bought about a hundred of them. It never hurt to be prepared.
He picked it up and waved his wand sloppily. It turned into a straw, miraculously… Albeit a funny looking one.
He put the straw into the cup and started sucking. When he finished he tipped the glass upside down and frowned, noticing nothing was in it.
"I could have sworn there was something in there…" He puzzled over this for a while before getting up to search for… Well, whatever was supposed to be in the cup…
"Now, then, If I was supposed to be in a cup, where would I be…?" His eyes lit up and he strode over to a cupboard. He opened it and stared up at all the cups. "In a cup of course… Unless I wasn't in a cup…" He closed the cabinet and stared forlornly around the room.
Just as he was about to ask him self what he was looking for, there was a knock on the door.
"Visitors!" He squealed (yes, squealed) in delight.
He opened the door and saw… A broom. That was strange…
He closed the door to his broom cupboard and turned around. He was about to go find out what happened to what was in his cup when there was another knock at the door. He turned around and opened the door again. He saw the broom.
Giving it his best glare, he pulled it out and threw it at the wall, where it promptly clattered to the floor, lying there motionless.
Severus smiled triumphantly and went to sit down at his desk. Before he got there however, there was another knock. He spun around but the broom hadn't moved. Looking suspiciously around the room, he called out, "Come in…"
He heard a door behind him open and he spun around coming face to face with… Him.
"Potter. Why, may I ask, are you here?"
Potter looked decidedly nervous. "You said I had detention tonight sir…" He shifted backwards slightly. "You told me to come at precisely 11:59 and not a minute later. So…"
Severus narrowed his eyes in thought. Then he remembered. The boy had melted a cauldron during potions that day.
"Yes, yes of course…" He said off hand. "Follow me." He knew exactly how to go about this detention.
"What am I to do sir?" Potter asked, following his professor into the sitting room.
Severus held out the cup and said, "I had something in this cup. I don't know what it was but it was in there. I want you to help me find it."
Potter had the gall to smirk at him before he said, "Professor, I think that we'll have to go more in depth to this… Mystery. I will ask you a series of questions and I want you to answer with the first thing that comes to mind, okay?" Potter looked like he was talking to a six year old.
Severus nodded anyway and sat down on his couch. He started intently at Potter intently, waiting for him to continue.
The boy wiped the smirk off his face and began, "Was what was in the cup, alive?"
"No," Severus answered.
"Was it ever alive a one point in time?"
"Was it a liquid or a solid?"
"Was it alcohol?"
"Was it fire whiskey?"
"Did you by any chance drink it all with a funny looking straw I saw on your desk?"
"Do you love me?"
Potter smiled and stood up. "Well, I think my work here is done. If that is all, professor, I think I'll be going." He turned around and walked to the door.
"Harry, wait!" Severus yelled.
'Harry' stopped and turned around, his eyebrows raised. "Did you just call me Harry?"
Severus looked up at the ceiling. "No," He said.
Harry smirked, "Liar." He took a few steps forward, put his hand behind Severus' head and tilted it down. He closed his eyes and leaned up to kiss the older man. Before Severus could figure out what was going on, however, Harry stepped away, waved and, quite literally, skipped out of the room.
A/N-I like it. As I said, out of character. I personally think Severus would be an angry drunk but in my story I feel he should be a slightly confused drunk. I like it. Please review!