DISCLAIMER: All of this belongs to JK Rowling.
DISCLAIMER 2: Actually, to be technically accurate, the whole concept of this concept needs to be attributed to a bit of dialogue I read in a fic a few days ago. It's "Sweet Emotion" By kazuli and the line is:
"Seeing his friend's trepidation he added, "C'mon Moony! It's nothing to get freaked but about! There's nothing wrong with a friend helping out another friend. It's not like kissing me will make you gay! Honestly, Moony, I don't know why you're so worked up, you attempt to kiss me often enough when you're drunk!"
"I WHAT?" Remus panicked.
"Oh, I forgot, it was supposed to be a secret," Sirius said apologetically, "When you're drunk you kiss almost anyone; it's so funny watching you that we weren't going to say anything. Now you'll never drink again."'
So yes, I thought I should give that a bit of a disclaimer 'cos the idea isn't really mine. Anyhoo, on with the story.
WARNING: Unfortunately, because everything belongs to JK Rowling, the two poor boys are being kept apart. But I, their saviour, have brought them together in this short fic, one last time. Oh yes, it's slash.
"I don't, do I?" Remus asked, bewildered and embarrassed. Three honest, amused, straight faces nodded back at him. "Well, I'll be … all of you?"
"'Fraid so, mate." James told him sympathetically, although Remus thought he detected a hint of laughter underneath.
"How come I don't remember any of this?" He asked in rhetoric wonderment.
"Er …" Peter fidgeted uncomfortably and the other two nudged him quickly to shut him up, but by the gleam in Remus' eye, they knew they were too late.
"What, Peter?" Remus demanded suspiciously. Peter looked nervously between Sirius and James and swallowed, turning beet red.
"O-oh, it's just that, well, you don't remember because – er – the hangover cure we give you afterwards is really – er -."
"A Zonko's Memory Abolition Potion." Sirius cut in, sighing. "We didn't mean to deceive you or anything, Moony." He added earnestly.
"So why do it?" Remus asked, hurt and anger in his tone. A small smirk broke out over Sirius' face and suddenly the other two found themselves snickering as well.
"I'm glad you find it amusing." Remus snapped, glaring at the three of them.
"Honestly, Remus." Sirius choked out. "It's just so bloody funny. You have no idea."
Remus surveyed him coolly.
"No." He said. "I guess I don't, and we both know whose fault that is, don't we?" He stared pointedly at each of the shaking Marauders and swept from the room.
:O :O :O
Remus reached the sanctity of the dorm room and sank down thoughtfully on his bed, tapping his fingers on his chin. If he really did as the others said and tried to kiss people wen he was drunk, then maybe this could be used to his advantage.
He began to plot.
:O :O :O
"Hey, Remus." Sirius began, sitting down next to Remus at breakfast a few days later. "Just because you know what happens when you get drunk doesn't mean you're not going to do it anymore, does it?"
Remus carefully placed his fork on the plate and looked squarely at his friend.
"No." He said simply and went back to eating. Sirius grinned happily.
"Oh good." He said with feeling. "Because James and Pete nicked a whole heap of Firewhisky from the kitchens this morning and it needs a home."
"Alright." Remus shrugged nonchalantly and went back to eating. Sirius disappeared a few minutes later, bouncing happily. After he had left, Remus allowed himself one small smile.
:O :O :O
The Firewhisky felt good and warm on his lips and in his stomach. He was glad he was actually going to remember what happened tonight, after he got completely bollocksed. This was something that shouldn't be wiped out.
Remus sat placidly and quietly in the large, comfy, big-enough-for-two armchair by the fire. A half-full Firewhisky bottle balanced delicately on his knee and he surveyed the room with a bleary, half lidded gaze.
Peter, James and Sirius lay sprawled in various positions throughout the Common Room, empty Firewhisky bottles strewn haphazardly on the floor. They were going to be in very big trouble if McGonogall walked in right now. Remus watched as the other three Marauders lazily discussed the best way to skin a newt, a topic Remus strangely knew a lot about. Nobody seemed to expect him to contribute, however, so he didn't.
"Oi." James said, suddenly sitting up. "Remy is very quiet tonight. I haven't been molested yet! What's up Moony, ill?" He called across the room. Remus just held up his Firewhisky bottle in front of his face.
"Ah, leave him alone, Prongs." Sirius said, reaching for another bottle. "He's only on his one … two … three … fourth bottle. He doesn't start till his fifth."
"Yeah and you'd know exactly when he starts, wouldn't you?" Peter teased, grinning dazedly. Sirius hit him.
"Hey! I gotta get my kicks somehow." He replied. "And I know you'd get your mitts on him if I hadn't claimed him first, so don't you be passing judgement."
"It's true." Peter moaned mournfully, draining his bottle and lying down on the floor. "If only Moony were mine."
"Don't think kissing Moony will solve all your problems." James warned wisely, hiccuping a little and spoiling the effect.
"He's right." Sirius agreed. "Kissing Moony just makes your troubles worse, because then you have to deal with wanting to kiss him all the time, and having to be in bed before him so he can't see your hard-on when he changes, and wanting to kill all the girls he speaks to, and -."
"Okay!" Peter cut in. "I get it. Remus won't solve all my problems."
There came an awkward silence.
"You really should tell him, you know." James said eventually. "When you think about it, there must be some reason why he tries to kiss you most often – and usually succeeds."
They all stared at the somnambulant Remus for a minute before James yawned and said he was bored and was going to bed and Peter passed out. Which left Sirius alone with an increasingly drunk Remus, if the bottles piled up around him were any indication.
"Well, Moony." Sirius said, addressing Remus like a cadet. "What happens now?"
"I'd say I'm going to kiss you." Remus said and his speech came out almost unintelligible, but Sirius seemed to understand it anyway and got onto the couch with him.
"Well, come on." He said. "I've been waiting all week for this," and he leant forward and claimed Remus lips with his own.
It was exactly everything Remus had thought it would be. Those warm, soft lips touching his, the hands tangled in his hair to bring them closer and the slow exhalation sent Remus' mind into a spin.
"I wish you would let me do this when you were sober." Sirius panted, staring down at him. "You don't know what you do to me."
In response, Remus pulled Sirius' closer and felt the strong bone of his neck against his lips and smiled. He leaned up and tangled his fingers in Sirius' hair, bringing his ear down to his lips. Then he spoke in a very clear voice.