Chie: Just quickly pointing out one thing. This fic was inspired by the movie G.I. Jane. You'll probably notice the similarities.

Chapter one - Are you dead yet?

The heavy rain continued mercilessly to fall. The ground was slippery and cold. Her clothes were soaked all through. Her pale hands were planted firmly on the mud. She was wet and tired, her whole body was sore, every fibre in her being cried of exhaustion. But she could not stop. She was going on until she would drop. For she would drop before he'd let her stop.

He was standing by her side, tall, silent and stoic. His face was free of all expressions as he continued to watch the woman doing push-ups. He was a beautiful man, a dream come true, an angel fallen from the Heaven above...

'Well that's what he is, all right', the woman thought to herself rather sarcastically. ' A fallen angel, the Devil himself.'

Footsteps could be heard and they neared the duo standing in the rain. Soon a sight of two muddy boots appeared in front of her eyes which travelled up and down in the rhythm of push-ups she was doing.

"I believe that this is very well enough Colonel Hidaka", a gruff voice called.

Not sparing the just-arrived man a glance Colonel Hidaka started to walk away towards the group of buildings in the distance.

"You may stop, cadet Higurashi", his velvety voice flowed through the rain.

The said cadet stopped finally doing the push-ups, collapsing into a puddle of mud.

How had it all ever wound up like this?

"No way. No. You got to be kidding me, Sango!"

"Oh come on! It'll be great", the taller woman chirped.

"Nuh-uh! For you it might suit but me? No way. Just forget all about it."

Of course she did not forget. Nor did she give in. Sango was like that, persistent. She had not let the matter drop until I gave in.

For now when I think about it, it was a good thing. I totally needed a huge change in my life. I had just had a rather crappy divorce with a guy I really loved - until I found out about that bitch he had been fucking behind my back. I'm a forgiving person but there are some things that are just unforgivable. Breaking my heart is one of them.

Anyway, Sango succeeded in persuading me. We packed up our bags and headed off to enlist ourselves. Army, beware, here we come.

... Sounds rather pompous, ne? Well, it wasn't. I think I was more afraid of the army than it was of me. As I said to Sango, that kind of things suit well to her, but me...

Apparently, everything considered, I wasn't that bad. What a surprise. Little girly me. I hated to see even my friends argue... But the wicked smile that rose to my lips as I blasted the hell out of that poor target with the assault rifle I had been given, made even Sango pale. That kind of a display of aggressiveness is not really like me. But when the target before me turned into the face of the oh so beloved, cheating fucker I once called my husband.... That's a whole different story, my friend.

Captain Miyagi Ayame took a liking to me. Especially after the thing my troop started to call 'the Wolf incident'. You see, Captain Miyagi wasn't the only one to take a liking to me. Oh no. Sergeant Tanaka Koga fancied me too. A lot. It was rather uncomfortable. That perverted wolf... I'm getting ahead on this, am I?

Sergeant Tanaka was my troop leader. He was rough, completely unmannered and loud. He probably could have had shouted my ears off if he wished. But that is not the point now. The point is that one day after another shooting rehearsal he decided that he wasn't annoying me enough with just his hints of what time he was going to bed. If I could even call them hints! He actually once slipped me a key to his room. I'd say that's pretty damn obvious and not anymore a hint. It's an open invitation. Of course, I threw that key into litter bin. In any case, this time he shamelessly grabbed my butt. Others were still walking off ahead of me, but they quickly turned around when they heard a smacking sound. They saw me beating the crap out of my troop leader. Beating up your superior isn't the thing you'd be rewarded of in the army. But hey, I had a helluva good reason to do that. Actually because I beat up my troop leader, because of 'the Wolf incident' I ended up here. They needed a woman to participate the SAF-troop as an experiment of some kind. They told me that I had the spirit. They chose me.

"You can not be serious."

"Colonel Hidaka, I am very serious about this matter", Ayame replied stiffly.

"She would have no chance."

"She's the right one. She beat up Kouga."

"Kouga is a jackass. Our troop is the elite, Captain Miyagi. The training of the Special Attack Force is the hardest training one can go in the military. There is no way a woman could handle it, only best of the men make it."

"Colonel Hidaka, this is a request from the senate. SAF is the only division where has yet been no women."

"And there won't be."

"I assure you, Hidaka, private Higurashi is not like the rest. She has spirit. She's a fiery little one. If someone can manage, it's her."

Colonel Hidaka snorted.

"Give up, Captain Miyagi. There is no chance I would allow some woman to be part of my SAF-troop. Even if the whole damn senate would be begging on its knees."

"Very well, colonel Hidaka. Be it your way then." Captain Miyagi pulled a mobile phone out of her pocket.

Hidaka narrowed his eyes.

"What are you planning, captain?"

"I just thought to make one quick phone call."

He glared at her but Ayame was not going to give in.

"You might not feel any respect towards the senate, but I'm sure your father - "

"Fine! Send her in."

Colonel Hidaka stood up and left without another word. Ayame pocketed her mobile phone and smirked. 'Gotcha.'

'Private Higurashi, hmmh?' Hidaka thought to himself. 'You won't last a week. I'll take care of that.'

So I packed my bags and got into the plane. I had no idea what was waiting me on the training ground of the SAF-troops. I wish I just had.

He was waiting for me. He was the first person I saw when I got out of that plane. And I could just stare. He had to be the hottest guy I had ever seen. His silver hair and amber eyes kinda reminded me of my jackass ex-husband. He was tall and just drop-dead gorgeous. Had I only known then that he was going to make sure, personally, that my life from then on would be one living hell. He stared me down with his glare. His eyes were of warm colour but the look in them was so cold it gave me chills.

"Cadet Higurashi", he greeted me. His voice was velvety and soft. I was positive now that he could have turned me into a puddle of goo, just with his voice alone. Though now I have to say that a few days later I already hated that voice of his.

"Colonel Hidaka!" I saluted. Hidaka. That too. Same surname my ex shared. Coincidence? Had to be.

If I only had been that lucky.


I knew that voice. I turned my gaze to see the man standing behind the ice prince. He was gawking at me, jaw dropped. My eyes narrowed into slits.

"You!" I shrieked, wrapping up my sleeve. My right hand was clenched into a tight fist and I had a strong intention to sink that fist into the middle of his sorry face. However, I was stopped.

"Cadet Higurashi, what the hell you think you're doing?"

It was the colonel, glaring at me.

"With all due respect, colonel Hidaka. If you can kindly excuse me or awhile", I bowed, showing my respect towards him. He was the kind of a guy you just had to respect - even if you hated him. "But now I'd like to beat the hell out of that lousy excuse of a man!"

Colonel Hidaka raised his eyebrow. Captain Miyagi had been right. This one had the spirit.

"Kagome, I told you I already, I'm sorry.."

I heard a hint of plea in his voice. He wanted me to understand. He wanted me to forgive him.

I'd forgive him all right!

"'Sorry' doesn't fix the mistake, Inuyasha", I hissed. "'Sorry' doesn't make up all the nights I spent alone while you were screwing that fucking zombie-woman! 'Sorry' doesn't wash away all the pain I felt. Sorry's not worth a shit."

"Enough", the colonel bellowed, his velvety voice turning into a steel in an eye-blink. "I won't stand quarrelling in my troops. Is that understood?"

"Yes, colonel Hidaka", I replied in an unison with Inuyasha.

"Good", he said, glaring at me for awhile before turning to face Inuyasha. "Captain Hidaka, explain."

"Kagome is - was my wife, colonel."

"Ah", he answered curtly. "I see it now."

My whole attention was turned at Inuyasha. I glared daggers at him, desperately hoping that I could kill a person with my stare alone.

"Cadet Higurashi!"

"Yes, Colonel Hidaka?"

"One punch, that's all."

"Sir yes sir!"

I swear I could see amusement flickering in those cold amber eyes as my fist made close friends with Inuyasha's nose. At that short moment I liked my new trainer very much and life was good.

Well that was then. My only comfort is that I broke that bastard's nose.

"Kagome, are you all right? Let me help you up."

I was lying still in the puddle of mud. All the push ups had made my body sore and exhausted. But I'd rather die than accept the hand he was offering to me. I'd rather die than accept his help.

Grimacing and ignoring the pain, ignoring the resistance and reluctance of my body I forced myself up. I stood there, my arms fallen limp on my sides, my back bent and my eyes closed. The rain continued to fall, washing the mud away from my pale skin.


I opened my eyes and stared into his for awhile. Then I spat at his feet.

"Inuyasha, I don't need your help. You know, you're only being nice to me because you regret what you did. Your remorse is wasted. What is done is done and there's no way to change it anymore. You cheated on me. You broke my heart. Regret is not going to fix up anything. It's useless."


"Leave me alone!" I yelled at him, brushing past him towards the buildings. "Just seeing you makes me sick. Stay away from me!"

I started to walk towards the main building, leaving him to stare helplessly after me. I was glad it was raining. For all the raindrops sliding down my face, no one could see how my tears mingled with them. I hated him for what he had done. I despised him with all my might. I truly was disgusted every time I saw him.

And yet... I still loved him.