A Tale of…

Rabid Raccoons and Kyuubi Pee

By: EEK…because you can't know my real name. Hah.

What makes a true story? A tale of an epic adventure, a hero… A tale of integrity, honor, justice, and fighting for what you believe in….A true story; one that touches that hearts of many….brings tears to the eyes of the reader… A true product of effort, time and the brilliant talent of using words to captivate everyone…

WARNING: This is not one of those stories. This is a product of boredom, too much free time, and Coca-Cola. This is my theory; Naruto and Gaara don't actually have the demons inside them, they just live on top of their heads (this theory occurred after me drawing a picture of Gaara and putting a raccoon on his head). Kyuubi pees on people (long inside story after playing Naruto: Gekitou Ninja Taisen 3) and Shukaku eats eyebrows, thus the reason Gaara is lacking them. Although, not matter how it comes off in this…Gaara is awesome…X3 (I loveth him!) Oh, and I don't own anything Naruto. But you all probably knew that.

Gaara walked down the streets of Konoha, followed by his siblings Temari and Kankuro. It was just like any other day…only they happened to be in Konoha because I put them there.

"I'm gettin' kinda hungry, who wants to stop?" Kankuro patted his stomach.

"I'm hungry too…" Temari added, hoisting her fan onto her shoulder.


"…" Temari gave her crimson haired brother an odd stare. "Did you not give Shukaku his food this morning Gaara?" she pointed to the rabid raccoon on top of his head.

"I don't carry a supply of eyebrows for him to eat," Gaara retorted. He had never really recovered from having his eyebrows eaten…


"Gaara, come here, I want to give you something," Gaara's father called out. Little Gaara ran up to his dad, his aqua eyes shining. Daw.

"What is it?" He asked anxiously. His father reached behind him and picked up a funky looking animal. Gaara made a face. "I don't want it. It looks like a piece of icky poo."

"Oh, silly boy," His dad placed the animal on his head. "His name is Shukaku and he's yours now." Gaara went to move the radical raccoon from his head only to have his eyebrows swiped off in a one swoop. Gaara cried.

"Silly boy," His dad laughed again. He then fell into a hole, and no ones knows what happened to him.

END FLASHBACK! SNAP YO! (Little side note…I know that's not how it happened, deal with it)

"….I know, but…." Temari took a step back. She was scared of the crazy raccoon atop her brother's head.


"And people give me a hard time for carrying around a demented puppet," Kankuro mumbled.

"What did you say?" Gaara snapped his head back, which caused Shukaku to latch on and pull out some hair.

"Um…nothing…PLEASEDON'TEATMYEYEBROWSTHEYTAKEALONGTIMETOGROWBACK! ILOVETHEMSOMUCH!" Kankuro grabbed onto Gaara's ankle and pleaded for mercy.

"…You don't really have eyebrows," Temari poked him in the face with her Fan. "Do you?"

"…They're there….they're….just…covered with paint!" Kankuro laughed.

"…I don't believe you," Temari said flatly. "Though your funky tribal paint does tend to hide any resemblance of a real face." Suddenly, since Gaara was standing too close, Shukaku tried to attack Temari's face and take her freshly plucked eyebrows. "GAH! NO! BAD RACCOON!" and WHACK! She bashed Shukaku (and Gaara) in the head with her fan.

"I hate you," Gaara growled. He growled almost as much as the raccoon.

"FLURACKAHLAKALFEMISHIGANASHAMANAHAAA! HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" What Temari didn't know was that she was just cussed out in Raccoon. All seven words no less. See if you can count them all, foolish mortals.

THEN SUDDENLY! Who else would appear? But the ever faithful SQUAD 7!

"Hey!" Naruto, the ever hyper ninja yelled, waving his hand in the air.



Rabid foam and pee went all over the place. Not just any foam and pee, but Magical Shukaku foam and Magical Kyuubi pee.

"I peed a lot!" cried Kyuubi.

"That's disgusting!" Sakura, the ever annoying pinked hair ninja chick screamed.

"…Nasty," Sasuke added.

"Don't make fun of Kyuubi's kidney problems all right? I'll make him melt your face off with pee!" Naruto shook a fist in Sasuke's face. He turned his back to him and pouted.

"…" Sakura and Sasuke sweat dropped.

"So…" Temari started, trying to break some of the tension. "What's up?"

"We where on our way to Wal-mart…because Mr. Game boy needs a new fix," Naruto pointed at Sasuke.

"Pee," Kyuubi said in an upset tone, sensing Naruto's anger.

"Hey!" Sasuke snapped.

"Do you know the quickest way there?" Sakura laughed nervously, trying to move to a new subject other than Sasuke's recent addiction to games.

"No," Gaara said flatly. Shukaku spit up a little.

"Oh, come on Gaara! Yes we do! We have to go there and buy my facial paint all the time…and not to mention, all the sweeper bags. You drag sand everywhere man!" Kankuro teased. Mind you his teasing came to a vicious halt when Gaara threw Shukaku on his face.

"Anyway…" Temari stared at her younger brothers and scratched her head. "Would you like us to take you there?" She smiled and threw open her fan.

"…You can get us there with that?" Naruto pointed to the gianormous fan. And without more than a wink from Temari, WOOSH! They flew to Wal-mart on her magical fan of doomness.