Summary: Post rescue, while Kate's sitting in prison, thinking over all of the things she's done, Jack is trying desperately to move on with his life, only to find it hard to forget a certain someone. Jate songfic.

A/N: This idea struck me late last night while I was listening to one of my CDs trying to fall asleep, and I decided to give it a try, as a sort of break from my regular writing routine. This is my first Jate fanfiction, so I hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: For the millionth time, I don't own Lost. Do you really think I'd be sitting here, writing this if I did? Don't get me wrong, I'd love to own Lost, but unfortunately it belongs instead to J.J. Abrams, Damon Lindelof, and everyone at ABC, Touchstone Television, and Bad Robot who help to make it.

Also, the song "Wreck of the Day" doesn't belong to me either, but to the talented Anna Nalick. I'm just kind of borrowing it for the purposes of this fic.


No Way to Live

It was 2:00 in the morning, and Jack was just heading home from another long day at work. There had been a six car pile up on the highway earlier in the evening, leaving both Jack and the entire hospital staff exhausted. Even so, Jack hadn't wanted to go home.

Driving away from the wreck of the day

And the light's always red in the rearview

Home reminded him of what could have been, of what would be different if they hadn't been rescued and still lived on the island, and that's why Jack usually spent every waking moment at the hospital. The only reason he was going home tonight, or rather this morning, was because his boss was threatening to make him go on a much needed but undesired vacation if he didn't leave and try to get some sleep. In fact, his boss had still given Jack the day off tomorrow even though he had vehemently protested against it and had already agreed to go home for the night.

Desperately close to a coffin of hope

I'd cheat destiny just to be near you

Jack hated everything about going home, even the drive. It wasn't because the drive was particularly long; it was because of what he had to pass by during the drive in order to get home. The prison. The same prison where, coincidentally, Kate was staying.

Kate.The same Kate who Jack had spent five years with on the island. The same Kate who Jack could never get up the courage to visit, instead relying on any news brought back to him from some of his friends that did regularly visit her, like Sawyer, Sayid, and Sun. Call him a coward if you want, but for Jack, the memories were just too painful.

And if this is giving up then I'm giving up

If this is giving up then I'm giving up

Jack tried quickly to think of a different subject. The only problem was every subject he thought of reminded him, in some way, of Kate. Even the subject of the six car pile up earlier reminded Jack of Kate. There had been, in total, fifteen accident victims, and they, through some hard work and determination, had been able to save all of the victims except one- a woman who had a startling resemblance to Kate, with her green eyes and dark, wavy hair. Somehow, Jack had got it into his head that saving her meant he was saving Kate, so when the woman ultimately died from her injuries, Jack pictured Kate, not the woman, lying dead on the operating table.

Giving up on Love

On Love

It would be much worse once he reached home, Jack knew. Going home was usually hard enough because of the thoughts of Kate that plagued his mind, but tonight was going to be even worse in and of itself, what with knowing he'd be spending the whole entire day there tomorrow as well and having thoughts of the woman tormenting him.

Driving away from the wreck of the day

And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus

Jack sighed heavily. He had no idea what he was going to do or how he was going make it through the whole day without going insane with thoughts of her. The only logical conclusion was that he couldn't stay in his house for the entire day. He'd have to go out.

Cause love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love

I'm just falling to pieces

Maybe he could call one of his friends to see if they could get together? Most of them lived in the area; however, a few had moved back to their old homes or stayed in Australia. A now married Charlie and Claire, along with a six-year-old Aaron and their daughter, two-year-old Marie lived in Australia, as did Bernard and Rose. Michael and a now sixteen-year-old Walt lived in New York, while Hurley lived in Florida. Sawyer, Sayid, and a happily married Jin and Sun, who had a five-year-old daughter, Maya, and a three-year-old son, Lee, still lived in Los Angeles though, not far from Jack. As for Locke and Eko, no one knew exactly where they lived.

Intent on not disturbing Jin and Sun, Jack opted for either Sawyer or Sayid, preferably the latter, and decided he'd give them both a call tomorrow, starting with Sayid. Sayid usually never had a problem meeting up with Jack at the last minute, and Jack hoped he didn't start minding now.

And if this is giving up then I'm giving up

If this is giving up then I'm giving up

Looking for a way to push his thoughts aside, Jack clicked on the radio. The song that was playing, filled with lyrics about a couple admitting their love for one another and realizing they couldn't live without each other did nothing to clear Jack's mind, and instead only filled his head with thoughts of Kate once more.

Giving up on Love

On Love

Did he love Kate? Jack knew, deep down, that the answer was yes, he loved Kate; he was just too afraid to admit it to himself. Kate was in prison. There was no way for them to be together even if he did love her. Still, didn't he owe it, both to himself and to Kate, to admit the truth?

And maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love

When all my resistance will never be distance enough

Jack suddenly understood what he'd really known all along. He knew what he had to do. It was time to do the right thing; it was time to stop pretending. Most of all, it was time to stop hiding from the truth. Because running from the truth was no way to live. Kate had taught him that.

He loved Kate. He had loved her ever since that first day on the island when she had walked out of the jungle and stitched up his back. On the island, she had saved him time and time again.

Tomorrow, instead of taking the cowardly way out like he usually would by calling one of his friends, he'd take a trip to a certain prison he was always afraid to pass by on his way home. Tomorrow, Jack would visit the one person he had to see. Tomorrow, Jack would visit Kate at last, and there was a very good chance he'd tell her that he loved her.

Driving away from the wreck of the day

And its finally quiet in my head

Driving alone, finally on my way home

To the comfort of my bed

Finally arriving home, Jack pulled off the road and into his driveway. After proceeding to park, Jack wearily climbed out of his car and grabbed his bag. Walking into his big, empty house, Jack was surprised to find he was glad to be home. While he hoped he'd be able to get some much needed sleep, Jack already knew sleep was unlikely. This time though, it wouldn't be because he was missing Kate, but because of the nervousness and anticipation he felt over seeing her for the first time in almost a year tomorrow.

And with that thought, Jack allowed a smile to softly grace his face- his first true smile in quite awhile, and then, despite Jack thinking he wouldn't be able to, he fell asleep.

And if this is giving up then I'm giving up

If this is giving up then I'm giving up

Giving up on Love

On Love


A/N: I really hope everyone enjoyed the story! There will be one more chapter with Kate thinking in jail, and that will most likely be it. And to everyone reading my Choices Series: I haven't discontinued it, I just wanted to try writing something new. In fact, I'm currently working on the oneshot in Jack's POV which will hopefully be uploaded by the end of this week, if not sooner!

I'd love to hear what everyone thought, so please feel free to review. Compliments, questions, criticisms, thoughts, etc. are always appreciated!

As always, thanks for reading!

LostObsession, a.k.a. Ana