Title:Oh My God!

Rating T: Language

Disclaimer:I do not own Charmed or any of its characters. I do however own Spike.

Summary: Chris revelation fic. Takes place around the time of Witch Stock.

Author's note: This is my second Chris revelation fic. I like doing them.

Part one: No One is this Neat

"Energy ball!" Paige called, before sending the energy ball back at the demon. It had no affect as it dissipated into the demons skin.

After the incident with Bianca, Chris had been determined more than ever to protect Wyatt. This meant a new demon vanquish every day. Today it happened to be the Caza demon, which was possibly one of the ugliest ones yet. Piper and Paige were in an alleyway behind P3, fighting said demon.

"PIPER!" Paige shouted. "Wanna blow him up?"

Piper flung her hands up. The demon exploded into a million tiny pieces.

"Two down, one ...to go," Paige said as the demon reformed. "Oh."

"Now what?" Piper asked, blasting it again as it reformed to give them more time.

"I don't k-" Paige was cut off as the Caza reformed and telekinetically flung her into a wall, unconscious.

Then her turned to Piper and threw an energy ball.

Piper flew her hands up to freeze it, but nothing happened. "Uh oh."

She dodged to the ground as the energy ball hit the wall behind her. When she looked up, a woman was throwing a series of potions at the demon, the last of which caused it to go up in flames.

The woman was in her early twenties, she had hot pink hair with black streaks that came down to just below her ears(when neatly brushed), and bright blue eyes. She was wearing long, worn jeans, a knee-length spaghetti-strap grey and pink stripped dress, several long necklaces, and a few weapons tucked away here and there.

"Who are you?" Paige asked, regaining consciousness.

But the woman ignored her and shimmered away.

"You okay?" Piper asked, helping Paige up.

"Yeah," Paige answered before orbing the duo back to the manor.

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"That's the fifth time in two weeks Paige," Piper said, following Paige up the stairs.

"I know."

"Where are we going?" Piper asked.

"To get a scrying crystal."

"Why. What's to scry for."

"Our little demon friend," Paige smiled, turning to her sister, holding up an athame.

"Where'd you get that?" Piper asked, taking it from her hands and examining it. It had a black handle with the letters SPMH engraved in pink fancy letters. The blade itself was different than the normal metallic color. It was metallic, yes, but when you moved it, it glowed different colors depending on the lighting.

"Orbed it off her during the attack," Paige answered, taking the blade back and holding it opposite the crystal, and began to scry.

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"Paige, are you sure this is the right place? Piper asked as they knocked on the door for the fifth time.

"Yes. I checked four times. Maybe she left. Let's orb in." Paige took her sisters hand and orbed into the apartment.

"Wow," Piper said.

"No one is this neat," Paige said, then added, "With the exception of you."

Now there's two kinds of neat. The kind that says the person that lives there is almost never around and has very little stuff. And the kind that says that the person who lives there is a total neat freak. This happened to be the latter. Nothing was out of place. Makeup, jewelry, a hairbrush all aligned. Bed neatly made. Refrigerator contents neatly organized.

"Oh my god. Piper come look at this." Paige had been looking through a drawer and found a picture held in a plastic cover.

"Oh my god," Piper said. "It's us."

The picture was of a large group of people. Some recognized, others not.

"Me, You, Phoebe, Leo, Mom, Victor, Sam, Grams, Prue! Darryl, Sheila. Our mystery girl. That kinda looks like Wyatt and Darryl Jr." And indeed it did, but older. A lot older. Wyatt was probably 16. "And that looks like Bianca and... Oh my god. Is that Chris?" Paige pointed to a young teen with shaggy dark blonde hair, and green eyes.

"It is," Piper said, wide eyed. She took the picture from Paige and turned it over.

"The last time we were all together. The last time we were happy," Piper read aloud. "I wonder who the rest of these people are."

"Let's ask Chris," Paige smiled, taking her sisters arm and orbing away.

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"CHRIS!" Paige called, once back at the manor.

"Yeah?" Chris asked, orbing in.

Paige held up the picture with a look that clearly said What the hell is this? Piper's expression mirrored Paige's'.

Chris' eyes grew, and his face went pale. "How did you get this?" he asked, the mask having fallen over his face once again.

"You know that demon that has showed up to several of our vanquishes. I got her athame and we scryed for her. We found an apartment and then we found this. What is going on? Who are you really?"

"Where's the athame?" Chris asked, ignoring Paige's questions.

Paige pulled it out of her purse and handed it to Chris.

"God damn her," he shouted to no one in particular, after seeing the knife.

That's when Piper noticed that at the bottom corner of the back side of the picture, the letters SPMH were written in loopy pink letters.

"What is going on Chris?" Piper asked.

Chris ignored her. "SPIKE!" He shouted. "SPIKE YOU GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

The woman with pink hair shimmered in. "Hello Chris," she said happily, ignoring the rage in his eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked angrily.

"I don't even know how you found out."

"Well, maybe if you'd paid more attention to when someone orbs something out of your pocket, you would be able to figure it out," he said, holding up the athame.

"How'd you get that?" she said, snatching the blade away from him.

"Paige orbed it away from you at the vanquish you helped them with. Then scryed for you, and found this," he held up the picture, "at your apartment. Now what the hell are you doing here?"

"I came back to do the same thing as you."

"And leaving a picture that could mess up the future lying around your apartment seemed okay to you?"

"You have a copy of it too," she said rudely. "You never go anywhere with out yours."

"Yes," Chris said, pulling an identical picture out of his pocket. "But I never leave it sitting around where someone can find it!"

"Quit yelling at me! You are not my father!" Spike shouted back at him.

"No. I'm not. But I have taken care of you since you were fourteen!"

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-Ella-the-crash-test-dummy-