I decided to repost this simply to compare the way I USED to write with the way I write now. There's certainly a gap there, and for that I'm eternally glad. I've gotten a better grip on the characters I write, and my use of words has improved.

I hope.

Anyways, I'm just reposting it because despite it's raging OOC Starfire (you'll see, trust me), I still kind of like it.

If you've never read this before, please don't judge me by this piece. I urge you to go look up some other recent oneshot that I've written and read that instead. This is only being reposted as a standard with which to compare that of 17 months ago with now.

This oneshot is a few filler scenes during Apprentice II, following the Titans' encounter with Apprentice!Robin on the roof of the Wayne bulding. I hope, despite the fact that the writing is crap, you like it to a certain extent.

Dedication: To Adriane. Because.

Disclaimer: As usual, nyah. That pertains to both Teen Titans and Evanescence's My Immortal.

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Starfire fell onto the soft plush of her pillow, sobbing. She was so confused. Nothing seemed right. What was going on? The Tamoranian was nearly hysterical, not possessing the ability to stop the tears that were coming. Why? Why was he doing this? Did he wish for her to suffer? Seeing Robin as Slade's apprentice...Starfire had been traumatized, too shocked to speak. She had found her voice now, and she was using it to its full extent. Wailing. Screaming. Crying. Her entire heart was pouring out, and no one was trying to stop her. As she lay face down on her bed, however, she found her spouting tears reducing to just a trickle. The Tamoranian breathed heavily, calming herself. He's gone. A voice in her head whispered. There's nothing you can do about it.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it wont leave me alone

Starfire, for the first time in her entire life, wanted to die. If Robin had betrayed her...the Titans... than what was the point for existence anymore? There are LOTS of reasons to exist...pretty reasons...Starfire laughed bitterly. Oh who are you kidding? She had loved him...trusted him...and he had thrown her aside for that...thing. Slade. Starfire wanted to drive a stake into that purely evil, loathsome...the alien girl shook her head. What was the point? Robin was still be Slade's apprentice, stake driving or not. I shall just have to learn to get over it... Starfire told herself, frowning. Another rush of tears poured from her bloodshot eyes.

So much for getting over it.

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just to real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

Robin's fist connected with the wall of his room. Robin snorted. Room? Cell was more like it. Dust clouds sprayed his face as he banged his head against the bricks that lined his new quarters.

What was he doing?

Even if he did somehow manage to save his friends, they'd still never trust him again. Raven, Cyborg, Beast Boy, Starfire...Starfire...

What about Starfire?

She looked so hurt, so destroyed, when he was aiming that stupid thermo-blaster at her. The usual light that sparkled in her eyes was gone; there was no joy in her voice when she spoke those powerful words to him. All that was left was a cold, weak, sad being. Of all things, Robin couldn't bear to see Starfire so sad.

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by
The life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

He cared about her, loved her, more than anything or anyone else ever before, and now he was throwing in his lot with Slade? Robin's entire body tensed as he fell onto the tiny cot in the corner of his room. She was driving him insane. She wasn't that important. She was making a mess out of him. She was interfering. She was clouding his senses. She was...beautiful. How could he put her through this?

You're trying to save your friends, right?

Yeah, so?

So Star'll be fine once she learns what's going on with the probes and all that...

I can't just torture her like that!

You're getting too emotional.

She's...she's important to me! I can't do this anymore!

You have to! It's the only way to save your friends!

As reason and emotion waged war against each other in Robin's mind, the apprentice had a different idea. Slowly, he got up and exited the room.

There was some business he and Slade had to take care of.

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real

There's just so much that time cannot erase

When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

Starfire inhaled and exhaled slowly, afraid that she might collapse into another fit of sorrow once again. It was all too much to take. She wouldn't cry again...she couldn't cry again...she wouldn't cry again...she couldn't cry again...

I try so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Tears unwillingly gushed from Starfire's eyes. She loved him too much to let go so easily.

When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years

"Titans! I think I found something!" Cyborg's voice jolted Starfire back into the real world. "Get your butts into the living room NOW."

Maybe it was the tone of Cyborg's voice, maybe it was her everlasting optimism, or maybe it was a strong love and devotion that could never be undone-even by the harshest of circumstances- but as Starfire exited her room, drying her eyes and hurrying through the corridors of Titans Tower, she had a feeling that Robin wasn't quite as evil as they had all once thought.

But you still have all of me

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How I love the smell of bad fanfiction in the afternoon. Again, if you're going to write a huge review bitching at me for how OOC the characters are or how simple my sentences are written, then please go read one of my more recent oneshots and shred THAT.

Please, thank you, goodbye.

Love,
SushiChica