AN: Woooooo, back in the game… kind of, if you know you count the poor grammar and lack of plot line in my last pile of crap work, that's discontinued by the way. Anyways This is also going to be a borderline crack fic with little to no plot. I'm writing this out of boredom and for the sake of laughing at my own bad jokes. So no actual pairing in this story, and please don't expect me to update regularly or at all. This is done at my leisure… and all that… yeah, so read on!
"Girl, leave. We have no reason to end your life now." Blood red eyes carryingthe Sharingan stared out at the two figures not ten meters in front of them. Itachi kept his eyes trained on the pair in front of him, one struggling to get back to his feet, the other standing protectively in front of him.
Sakura narrowed her eyes at those words. Clenching her jaw and setting her shoulders she slid into a defensive crouch, one arm raised holding a parrying kunai. Naruto squawked behind her.
"Sakura, I'll be fine, just go!" Naruto was now beside her gripping her arm and trying to tug her back behind him to safety. Of course that feat would be near impossible since Sakura was as strong as a herd of elephants on steroids, when she moved it was normally of her own volition. Naruto cast a worried look at her, which she ignored. "Sakura, I'll never be able to live with myself if you get hurt." He was pleading now.
The pink haired girl sighed annoyed not taking her eyes off the insanely strongrogue ninja in front of her. "Naruto, you idiot. Didn't I tell you before; you don't have to protect me anymore." Sakura titled her head to glance at him "Also, its my turn for you to look at my back." She grinned then; Naruto returned a reluctant smile, not exactly okay with the whole situation.
"So be it, Kisame do not kill the Kyuubi, I shall deal with the girl quickly." The shark man, who had been ignored for the past exchange, gleefully charged at the pair before fazing out and nearly crushing the pairs skulls from behind with his sword. Rolling away, Naruto gave Sakura a worried look beforeleaping at Kisame, Rasengan forming.
Peeling her eyes off her friend's battle she turned to face her opponent. He had not moved a muscle and was just staring at her. Okay…a tiny bit creepy but alright, at least he hasn't come over here to slit my throat yet…Stay positive Sakura, you have to at least stall him for Naruto's sake. Just like that her resolve hardened, she tensed her muscles getting ready to unleash an explosion of chakra strength, when she looked directly into his eyes, that happened to have pretty spinning little wheels dancing in them. Oh shit...You know…he is alotprettier then Sasuke inthat older guy kind of way… Her last free thought before she was sucked into the world of the Mangekyou Sharingan.
Sakura sat up from the squishy forest floor to look around shocked. Okay, this is either the weirdest dream I have EVER had or…no red sky and red moon is kind of naturally impossible. So where the heck am I? To answer her question, there was a shift of clothing above her in the trees and when she looked up she found Itachi sitting with an air of calmness in a tree branch a few meters off the ground, not that he was ever not calm, actually he was kind of freakishly calm all the time. Before Sakura could come up with a witty comment Itachi jumped down and made his way towards her.
"I told you girl, you should have left when you had the chance" Itachi suddenly multiplied a few hundred times and now surrounded her from all sides, a gleaming sword in each Itachi clones hand. "Now you will know the torture of 1000 deaths within your own mind. Useless girl, all you're doing is biding the Kyuubi mere seconds." Just like that Itachi brought his sword back, as if to stab her.
1000 deaths! Oh crap, Oh crap...wait Useless, bastard!…wait, my own mind?…as in we're in my mind… Then that means it's mine, I bet I could control this place like I can control my dreams. Sakura grinned as the first sword stabbed her trough her right lung. It looked strange but damn if it hurt at all. Before the next sword came, she imagined herself as a stone statue, impenetrable and solid. The sword glanced off of her as if she were made of some sort metal, making Itachi's eyes widen frationally.
Sakura stood removing the first blade from her chest and grinned maniacally at Itachi, who didn't change expression other than a small quick blink, which was monumental coming from a genjutsu user. Suddenly the 1000 Itachi's turned into 1000 Sakura's all grinning and all holding a sword.
Before Itachi could move, the horde of pink hired medic-nin's howled "SHANNARO!" and charged him. When the first sword pierced through Itachi's abdomen, the world of the red moon's sky seemed to crack and it did so continuously every time Sakura stabbed or sliced the Uchiha. Finally the moon itself seemed to crack and an intense light was emitted from the fissure that continued to grow.
It was after both parties noticed the change in the sky that there was again only one Sakura and she threw Itachi a panicked look, who despite being cover is blood and holes, was now staring at the moon in what Itachi would call wonderment and everyone around him would call indifference. There was suddenly a flash of red light and both Itachi and Sakura knew no more.
Both Kisame and Naruto looked up from where they were beating each other bloody at the sound of an explosion and watching their partners be thrown and hit trees on opposite sides of the clearing. Both sat stunned for a moment before Naruto regained his senses and was made his way to the fallen girl at a dead sprint. Kisame fazed himself over to stand next to his fallen partner, looking down at him in shock.
Naruto didn't even think before he slung a knocked out Sakura over his shoulder and ran full force towards the Fire country border in search of medical attention, leaving a bewildered Kisame in his wake.
Kisame continued to stare at his comatose comrade even half an hour after the Kyuubi had left. Finally the shark man pinched his nose and made a rather disgusted sound in the back of his throat. "Great I'm gonna have to fucking carry you, aren't I?" and with that the disgruntled former mist-nin, hefted Itachi over his shoulder and made his way back towards their home base miles away, muttering angrily under his breath about a failed mission. Had Kisame paid attention though, he would have noticed Itachi's soft murmur of "Naruto…" but of course the shark man was too aggravated to pay attention.
AN: So my fight scene anything is complete poop, but you already know that. This fic is supposed to be funny, so I'll be picking up the cheesy jokes in future chapters… maybe… if you review XD. Lots of luff for oooou!
To be continued