Author's note: I swore to myself a long time ago I would never ever never do this—Write PURE NO TRUE PLOT sasunaru. I said, "Hay, romance should have a plot and character development." But then—Here I am; about to embark on an adventure of just pure out sasunaru pervvy goodness. I am ashamed and yet slightly---exicited. Eeeee! I am writing smuutttttt! Gahahayayahha! o Eat this chunk of steaming hot smut exquisite and articulate literature aka: Faulkner's As I Lay Dying.

Ehm, please review!

This is wee bit AU…I'm just probably going to ignore the whole Ochimaru thing---or explain it later. For right now—Smile is denial!

EDIT: I revised! –touchdown dance-


Sasuke was a very practical man. He did not dilly dally with any task, no; he went about things smoothly and directly. If he required something he attainted it; no matter how strange or awkward it seemed to the rest of the populace. (Their opinions were inconsequential wisps in the wind anyway.) For instance, if he desired an orange sherbet frosty cone from the corner drugstore at 3 a' clock in the morning on Christmas Eve, he would get up and stroll through the deserted Konoha streets, in his pajamas, to acquire it. Organized and composed, he trailed through life on a very rigid, straight path, never wandering off into the abstract mess wallowing beside it.

--Until there was Naruto. Since the insufferable orange blur and the rest of his team had entered Sasuke's life, his straight trail had become twisted and tangled around him. He and Naruto were complete opposites and so with just his mere bouncy presence, Sasuke's world was sent teetering. He had always enjoyed his self-inflicted solitude up until then, curling up in the stately Uchiha library with a good book for partnership. However now, whenever he attempted any sort of project alone he felt just that—alone. Even after the slaughter of his family, he had never felt truly lonely for the burden of responsibility in revenging their deaths had kept him company enough to sleep at night without feeling the chill of the voiceless, lifeless wind. But somehow now whenever he plopped over unto his stale mattress after a long day of tiresome missions he desired a presence there—a life—warmth. The frigid wind now sliced his mind to pieces every night and left him to the early morning hours to figure out just where all the parts fit together again.

And so, being the very practical man Sasuke was, he deduced that what he so desperately needed at night to send him to his blessed dreams was a partner. A wife so to speak; but nothing like his mother whom had raised the very monster that had massacred her; and nothing like the relationship between her and his father. They were products of an arranged marriage between two prestigious ninja clans and Sasuke could never remember a time that they smiled at one another—or even seemed happy to be in each other's presence. They had always seemed like two lonely put-out stars that had lost all their glow. No, Sasuke concluded that he needed someone whom shared the same sentiments as himself. What good was cold company? He already had the wind to shake him awake all night and rip at the whole that had slowly been developing in his chest.

But, this problem, this little detour from his uncorking road, that had subtly been bubbling inside him for almost three years, suddenly came to a full broil on the day of his 17th birthday.

It had always been a tradition in the Uchiha clan to marry in the summer of one's 17th birthday. The reason for this Sasuke could plainly see: A ninja's life was unexpected and for the most part, terribly short. The average ninja's lifespan back in the years of his great ancestor's was 25. It had only upped ten years since then, so an early marriage ensured more time with family, and of course, more little ninjas. Sasuke had no intention of breaking it; it was a gleaming link to his family and he would not destroy anything of theirs—he would not be like Itachi.

However, he locked up his anxiety. He threw it into the same internal fire that he through the pain authored by his missing family into. He went about his straight day on his straight path with a practical mind. Aimlessly brooding over it for hours would not solve his feelings. Though sometimes, when he was with team seven, he felt as if it had all been solved—as if he was fine, complete, but the feeling soon departed when he and the team did. He would always look wistfully back at their retreating figures, watching them fade into their own lives. His heart would flip uncomfortably when he gazed at Naruto in particular, which he thought was simply because he knew that the fox boy was also going home to the same frosty conditions he was. But then the dreams started coming.

He had no idea where they had erupted from and he had at first wished for any way to plug up the tap from which they spewed. Perverse and just down right wrong, these dreams were something that he considered completely unnecessary and idiotic. Though, over time, he began to shamefully enjoy them. He'd wake up panting with an obvious, throbbing problem in his nether regions—but, he'd wake up warm and with fuzzy images of a certain blonde haired boy with sunny tepid skin writhing beneath him and gasping his name. Sasuke was a practical man, and as all practical men do, he attached a single reason to these ehm—occurrences: He found Naruto attractive.

It wasn't that hard not too. His childish and cheerful personality endeared him to most people, even as obnoxious as he could be sometimes. He wasn't that bad to ogle either; his wide, clear blue eyes shined with a glossy innocence that reminded Sasuke vaguely of that time before his awful memories—where everyday was his to shape with his own fingers and not his brother's. During longer missions, they roomed together in the same tent and often had to dress in front of each other. Sasuke had noticed that under the veil of that putrid orange jump-suit, Naruto's figure was slender and his skin was abnormally flawless. It was unusual that he didn't carry any scars; Sasuke guessed it was the lovely work of the Kyubbi.

Today, Sasuke happened to awaken to such an occurrence. Sighing, he tossed the covers off him and shivered at the sudden chill that rushed his bare chest. His dream had been so wonderful last night, ending with the fox boy sprawled naked on the Hokage's desk. Sasuke retraced the ethereal lines across his chest where Naruto had lazily trailed his hand. It was a dream, he reaffirmed in his head. Just a dream and nothing more. And so, with that regretful confirmation, he proceeded to take a very cold shower; the lasting remnants of his ravishing dream entangled with the soap and swirled down the drain.

After he was fully cleansed, physically and mentally, he made his way to the typical meeting place. Sakura was already there sitting on the bench. Her sea-foam eyes brightened at the sight of him and she eagerly jumped up, clasping her hands behind her back and smiling sweetly.

"Good morning Sasuke-kun! Did you sleep well?"

On the surface, Sasuke knew Sakura would make the best wife. She was smart, very pretty, and generally adored him, but he just couldn't find it in himself to like her. Of course he sometimes enjoyed her company, those rare times she wasn't totally consumed in her hormones and hanging shamelessly all over him. He tried to picture waking up to her every morning and found himself slightly disgusted. Sakura would make a good wife—for someone else.

"Yes." He grunted, plopping down unto the bench.

"That's goo—"

"Ohayo Sakura-chan!" Interrupted a strident, bratty voice. Sasuke turned to see the same boy with the same small nose that he had placed light kisses on in his previous dream. He almost felt like blushing at the sight of it. Almost.

"You're so loud Naruto! I bet you've woken up the entire street." Sakura chastised lightly.

"Ehehe, sorry." He scratched his nose with his palm, manifesting the appearance of a feline in doing so, and then switched his attention to Sasuke. Glowering slightly, his bottom lip projected out as happened when he pouted. Sasuke wondered how the tuft of soft skin would feel in between his teeth, nibbling—What the hell!

"Sasuke." Naruto acknowledged grumpily. Sasuke smirked, appearing more arrogant and all-knowing then he felt inside. His stomach felt like it was melting and rolling down his legs. A vein twitched in Naruto's head.



Kakashi arrived in the knick of time before Naruto lost his temper and went completely wild. It was a favorite game of Sasuke's to poke at Naruto's exterior fury. He enjoyed watching the blood rush to his cheeks, with his bright eyes contrasting brilliantly like two drops of rain in an orange, arid desert.

Kakashi explained that there were no missions about for their team (Naruto huffed) and so they would get in some much needed training. They ventured into the forest encasing the village. Some of the trees were still bare from winter's severe hand, while other's held earnest jade buds that glowed in the russet forest like vivid gemstones. Sasuke usually enjoyed the forest when it was like this—rusty and dead, but with a sanguine life brewing beneath it. However, today it worried him. If the leaves were beginning to sprout, that meant spring was on its merry way and that meant he didn't have long to find a partner.

Their perverse sensei decided that the bruises still visible from their last mission were proof that team seven needed more training in hand to hand combat. Prohibited from using any sort of ninja technique, Kakashi paired them off: Sakura with him and Sasuke with Naruto.

Sasuke had to admit that even though Naruto was terribly clumsy, he was a formidable fighter. They dashed and collided in ephemeral orange and black flashes, and just when Sasuke thought he had landed a punch, Naruto would dodge. Their skirmish lasted at least an hour and the Uchiha heir knew he had to end it. Both were sweating and panting heavily and scowling at each other's stamina.

"Hn, dobe. You haven't even touched me yet." Sasuke heaved , still achieving a haughty leer in his diluted state.

"I'm going to do more then touch you, teme!" Exclaimed Naruto, breathlessly. Sasuke felt his eyes widen as a ribbon of last night's dream seemed to tighten around his stomach uncomfortably. A flood of heat gushed to his face gazing at Naruto's chest heaving and the small tear of sweat that spilled slowly down his neck. Something perverted and warm seemed to click inside of Sasuke at that moment and being, of course, a practical man, he concluded in that moment that he no longer was satisfied with the dream Naruto—He desired the real thing.

"You're welcome to touch me anytime you want, Naruto." The Uchiha heir purred as he placed his hands firmly on his hips. From the vacant look on the blonde's face, he hadn't caught the underlying message so slyly slipped in between the words.

"Ass-hole..." Naruto murmured, rushing forward with his fist clenched in front of him. Becoming more passionate and clumsy when the Uchihia heir egged him on, the wild fox child began punching fiercely at him, which Sasuke easily dodged. He even maneuvered himself in such a way that when Naruto swung his furious fist at him, he toppled over just as Sasuke skirted away. However, he didn't account for the blonde boy's wayward hand that latched unto his calf as he plummeted. Both collapsed into the dry, crunchy dead leaves on the forest floor and for one uncertain moment, they were knocked senseless.

Sasuke was the first to come to and his cheeks burned immediately when he did. He was sitting on top of Naruto's slim hips, his hands on either side of him. Beneath him, the blonde boy shifted and he almost hissed with the sudden friction…there.

Two cobalt eyes slowly opened and blinked and at that moment, another stray ribbon from his dream swirled through his veins and tightened around his belly. Everything made sense now—that feeling of completion gripped him as he stared into the two drops of clarity underneath him. Naruto…He wanted Naruto…

He'd always been there—always; A housefly buzzing at the screen door; a snake hidden in the undergrowth, not seen clearly, but still lurking. Naruto knew his pain; knew the cold and understood it, surely. He desired to wake up not to the ruins of a charming dream, but to the dream itself. He wanted to wake up every day to Naruto—the loud, horribly aggravating…lovely boy.

And so, with that practical, straight mind of his, he concluded he would make Naruto his bride. No matter what.

"Sasuke?" The blonde boy from his night time wanderings murmured groggily. The Uchiha heir smirked.

And that was when he kissed him. Demanding and needing, he devoured his small lips, enveloped in the wild, sweet sent of Naruto's skin. It was much different from his dreams… much better as well. The mouth beneath him was soft but stunned. Reluctantly, he pulled up and grinned crookedly down at his bride.

"Naruto…I want you to marry me."

It was the first punch Naruto landed on Sasuke all day.


Naruto had thoroughly washed his mouth out eight times and yet he could still not get the Uchiha cooties all out. He had tried three different kinds of soaps, all of which were anti-bacterial and still not doing their self-proclaimed job of 'eradicating harmful germs'. He had even gargled hot water for ten straight minutes, however, his lips still tingled. When he put his finger to them they felt heated and swollen too—Just what jutsu did Sasuke use on him?

He had been shocked to say the least when the stony boy had pressed his lips to his and asked him—such an embarrassing question. Naruto could only see two fundamental motives behind Sasuke's odd behavior:

1-Somebody vindictive had kidnapped the original Sasuke and was currently trying to ruin his life.

2-Sasuke was screwing with him.

Naruto personally thought number two covered the situation pretty well.

It was ten a' clock when Naruto suddenly heard a knock at the door as he was brushing his teeth for the third time. Iruka had stated that he would possibly come over later for homemade ramen and so, without bothering to spit out the toothpaste, he went to open the door for him so he could start on the boiling water. However, who it was—definitely wasn't there for a cup of instant noodles.

"Faskay!" Naruto sputtered, swallowing the mint paste in his mouth. Coughing at the sudden burning as the goop slipped down his throat, he stared incredulously at Sasuke who leered evenly back with those blank, onyx eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I've come for you." The raven haired boy said, smiling softly.

Naruto's eyes narrowed. The tingling in his lips was just beginning to go away after this last wash and he didn't want to have to risk exposure to icky Sasuke cooties again.

" Well---I'm really busy now…Bye!" Quickly, Naruto slammed the door only for it to come swinging back open violently. Sasuke had snuck his foot through the threshold and prevented it from shutting. Both simply scowled at each other.

"Shall I make tea, or will you?" Sasuke inquired, pushing his way into Naruto's apartment while grinning conceitedly. The fox-boy's glare intensified. He would grant the bastard this round.

"Make yourself comfortable." He growled, stalking crossly to the kitchen to locate some form of tea. Behind him, he heard Sasuke sit down on the couch. The air felt terribly thick to Naruto, almost as if was congealing in his lungs. Placing the tea bags in the only two mugs he owned, he walked over to the couch and handed the steaming drink to Sasuke.

"Thank you." He hummed, blowing on the mist swirling off the tea and then hesitantly sipping. Swallowing, he smirked. "You won't make that bad of a wife."

Suddenly, there was a kunai positioned at a vital artery in Sasuke's neck. Naruto frowned down at the imposter.

"Just who the hell are you?" He snarled, increasing the pressure against his neck.

"Your fiancé, dumbass."

"You bastard! I'm for real! The real Sasuke doesn't act anything like this."

Sasuke—No the fake Sasuke sighed and seized the kunai gently. "Sit down and let me explain."

Naruto had a wild urge to scream 'like hell!', but decided that if he was going to get any answers, he would have to do as Kakashi often told him and 'act like an adult'. The kunai retreated from Sasuke's neck and the blonde boy plopped down on the other side of the couch, keeping a precautionary foot distance between them.

"It's an Uchiha tradition to marry in the spring of one's 17th birthday." Sasuke explained, taking another sip of his tea and grimacing. Even Naruto knew he was a terrible cook and screwed up anything that wasn't ramen or cereal. His own tea sat untouched and steaming on the coffee table.


"I want to get married. I want a partner. I want —"Sasuke seemed to be searching for the proper word. He looked longingly down into his tea and smiled genuinely as if in the presence of a warm, fond memory. "—someone to be by my side."

"S-so?" He stammered, feeling uneasy all of a sudden.

Sasuke turned his profound eyes back to Naruto, gazing at him so intensely he felt the need to squirm.

"I want you."

Moments ticked by as Naruto sat there with those words bobbing boldly somewhere in the air above him. He wanted him? Him? Every cell of blood in his short body surged up into his face and he suddenly felt the need to punch Sasuke for his shameful words.

"Damn you…" He growled, lurching forward to tackle Sasuke and knock that stupid, haughty sneer off his face. But it seemed he was expecting some sort of reaction like this, and the Uchiha heir instantaneously flipped the smaller boy over, imitating the very same position he had carelessly fallen into earlier by sitting on top of his hips. Before he could give Naruto the time to struggle, he leaned forward and deposited a soft kiss to his forward. Surely Naruto's cheeks were on fire—a torrent of heat skidded through him, making his limbs tingle pleasantly. It frightened him—Frightened him beyond anything in his life. He had never felt like this—so, heated as if he was under a fleece cover in June or as if someone was squeezing him all over, the only difference being he wasn't uncomfortable; not even in the least bit. Yes, it felt like little worms were racing up and down his skin, but he felt so—so—warm.

"Don't worry Naruto." Sasuke dipped his head beside the fox boy's ear and purred. Naruto felt the worms crawl and flip around in his stomach and shivered.

"We'll be warm together."


Author's note, again: Gyaaaah! Shhhh! I know! Trite trite trite! And the grammar is terrible has already threatened my life. But, horah! I've never written that fast in my life. I love you, purlease review! (bwhaha, smut.) More is coming later.


P.S-Forgive me, it's 2:21 in the morning and I may have overlooked some things.

I have reviiissseedddd! Yay!