Hello To Darkness
By Childhood Aspirations
Disclaimer:I do not own Kingdom Hearts II, or any of the characters. ...I only like to play with their minds...
I don't know anymore.
I thought I knew everything, everything about myself that there was to know, but…
Now I'm not so sure. Can you blame me? I doubt you've been in a situation like this before.
Do you know what it feels like to turn around and see those slender, slippery gray forms sliding toward you, arms and legs bending gracefully yet outrageously in all directions? Do you see the malice on their empty faces and realize while your heart drops into your stomach that they have but one intention, and that is to do you severe bodily harm?
What about dreaming? Have you ever had another boy's voice inside your head, one that you know for certain isn't yours and never could be? And yet…he's a part of you too, whether you like it or not. You're tied to him. Connected.
His memories crash over you, faces and places that are foreign to you, and yet familiar at the same time: an boy older than you with gray hair, a girl whose eyes hold only warmth for you while her mouth curves into a cheerful smile, and a memory of an island where the ocean's waves move up the shore gently and then roll back out with the tide.
He's in my head, and I can't get him out.
Strangers? Have you ever bumped into a tall figure in a long, black coat with its hood pulled so far forward that you can't see a face? And then you find out that your friends, standing there in front of you, didn't see a single thing, except you standing there, staring at nothing, muttering to yourself.
The world grinds to a halt when you don't expect it. Things change. Mysteries are solved, but thousands more pop up in their place.
I'm scared to admit it.
I won't admit it. I won't…
Have you ever met a girl with pale blue eyes and pale blonde hair, with pale skin and pale pink lips to match, dressed all in white? Has she ever ended up in your room when you awake in the morning, only to disappear the instant you blink? Does she appear in the strangest places and tell you to do the strangest things?
I lift my hands to protect myself against the coming onslaught, and suddenly my world vanishes, replaced with one of stain-glass floors and stairs, and mysterious doors that lead to even more mysterious places. Creatures invest these halls, such as I have never seen before.
The object of the game is simple: survive.
The thing is, I don't even know why I'm playing the game. And it's not really a game…is it…?
Namine. I don't know who she is, really, or how…
She's the one who told me about him. The tall, skinny guy with bright red hair and blazing green eyes, the one she says is my best friend. The only problems I have with that are that I have no idea who he is, and every time we meet, we end up fighting each other.
This just seems a little odd to me. His name is Axel. My "best friend," who, incidentally, can appear and disappear just as quickly as the malevolent creatures I keep running into.
She told me about the boy to, and his memories. She told me why I can't get him out of my head.
She asks me if I want to know the truth about who I am. I'm all arrogance. I know myself better than anyone else does, I tell her. In the end, curiosity gets the better of me. I want to know what she knows, because maybe she knows something I don't know…
I don't know anything anymore.
Have you ever woke up one morning and gone to meet your friends, only to find that they completely ignore you? It's like you don't even exist…and then they walk right through your body, like your invisible.
You're falling from a tower, you're fighting monsters with a key, you're trying to piece together what has happened to you, you're trying to find the girl, and the boy who's been sharing your head, using it as a storage unit for his memories…
Is it any wonder that I've been having these weird thoughts lately?
By the way, you are not falling from the tower, or searching for the girl and the boy, or trying to piece together what happened to you. That's me. This is my story. At least, I thought it was.
Until I discovered that I don't exist, that I was never meant to exist, that everything I've ever known has been a lie. I've been brainwashed, mind-wiped, however you want to put it.
Apparently of my own free will, in the beginning, or something like that.
Like I said, I don't know anymore.
Am I repeating myself?
That's my name.
My name is Roxas, and I am a Nobody. Half a person, searching for something to make me whole.
For a short time, Sora's memories did that for me, making me a whole person, allowing others, people with real lives, to see me.
And now Sora's awake. Now he remembers. Well, he remembers most of it: 97, to be exact. And he wants the other half of him back. I can't really blame him.
Namine…I don't understand. I don't get it. Why can't you explain it to me?
The thing is, I sound like I understand, for the most part. There's just one burning question left in my mind.
Why am I?
Why am I who I am? What made me different, only half a person? What's the difference between me and Sora, this strange boy that I have a connection with? I've seen his memories. I've dreamed his dreams for him. He's a hero. He's saved more worlds than I can count, and likely, when he wakes up, he's going to do it again.
Why Sora and not me?
Don't get me wrong. I'm not jealous. I'm not going to hold a grudge against Sora. It's just that…he's so lucky.
It looks like my summer vacation is over.
Goodbye, Sora. Goodbye, Namine, wherever you are. I hope we meet again, like you promised we would.
Goodbye to this world.
Hello to darkness.