Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and I'm not making any money, blah, blah, blah.

Summary: Harry Potter is naturally good at everything, bloody hot, and in a rivalry against Draco Malfoy for the "appointment" of Hoggwarts sex god. Harry decides to start a little business to help him with his race. He already has sex with tons of people, why not make it more public? What happens when Harry finds someone who manages to woo his heart, and not just his body? Will he be able to cut down to being with just one person?


A/N Is it way to descriptive? And about the whole orgasm/arousal really hurting thing, I just made it up, idk, is it way too stupid? I really needed there to be something for them to bond over. So please, please, review, and if my chapter is too graphic, just tell me, don't report me! and i will fix it!

Lonely? Need sexual help or advice? Your first time, are you nervous or just sexually depraved and need someone to get your frustrations out on? Harry Potter, the Griffindor sex god will help. Want to woo a girl/guy you've got your eyes on? Harry will help. Owl him for further details. No charge.

"There, Harry, this should work. You'll be able to beat out Malfoy for sure!" Ron said happily.

"Yeah… I dunno, though Ron! What if a teacher finds out or something?"

"They won't! I put a charm on it so only students could read it!"


"Besides, Harry, it's not like you're doing something you don't usually do anyway! You're just…making it a little more public, that's all."

"Well, I guess. So how are we gonna hand these out anyway? Walk up to people and ask them if they need my services? Do you really think people would reply to that?"

"No, arsehole! I'm taking them to Dobby tonight, he said he'd put them on all of the night stands for me. It should work brilliantly-they'll be there when people wake up in the morning!"

Harry nodded in agreement.

"So what are you up to tonight?" Ron asked suggestively.

"Actually, I'm heading to the library to do some work, I've got three essays due Friday, and potions is a killer."

"Oh, alright, well I promised I'd play Dean in a game of chess, but I think I'll run these down to Dobby first. See ya later."

"Yep." Harry stopped briefly in his dorm to pick up his work then headed to the library.He shoved off several girls trying to jump him and wondered how he'd ever have time to do his homework once he got his little 'business' started.

Harry finally reached the library, found himself a table, and wandered down the isle 'till he found the book he was looking for. But when he found the book he also found a girl, crying to herself behind the bookshelves.

"Lavender, is that you?"

"Harry…umm.." she managed to mutter in between sobs.

"Lav, what's the matter?" he asked, using his pet name which she usually liked. Harry and Lavender were quite friendly with each other, to say the least. They often used each other as a good screw when no one else was available and frustrations (or hormones) were high. Some said Lavender could be the Sex Goddess of Hogwarts. Others argued that Pansy or Ginny could easily dethrone her.I wouldn't know though, I've never had sex with Ginny, I have way too much respect for her. We've fooled around, but nothing has ever gotten too serious, mostly because we stop ourselves beforehand. I might have to rethink that one. And Parkinson, well, she's just disgusting; I'd never lay a hand on that whore.

"Oh Harry, it's just horrible! Dean and I were- we were, kissing, and things started getting serious, and I was like, really into it, ya no?" Harry had to laugh, he could totally relate. "But then he was like I can't do this with you, it disgusts me to think about how many people you were with before me. The bastard! But you know what the bad part is? I think I was starting to actually really like him," Lavender sighed.

"Oh Lavender, don't listen to Dean, he really is an insufferable bastard sometimes. I'm sure he'll come around if you talk to him."

"And say what? Yeah, I'm a slut but I still like you? And I'm not going to cheat on you even though I've never been in a real relationship before? Oh, Harry!"

"Lav, it's okay!" Harry said, pulling her into a hug. "I'm sure he'll realize he likes you, maybe if I talk to him…"

"No, it's okay, Harry. I'll think about it, okay." Harry nodded in response. "But do you know what the worst part about all of this is? I'm still…excited from being with him!" Lavender burst into fresh sobs.

"Lavender, there are ways you can deal with that, you know. You could just go back to your dorm and… you know," Harry suggested.

"While that would work, Harry, I've never resorted to that! I've always found a willing participant. But I don't know if I could do that, I'd have to make sure no one would tell Dean, and I don't think I could trust anyone to do that, unless…"

"Unless what, Lav?"

"Forget it, it's a silly idea."

"No, Lav, it's okay. I don't mind. Wanna go find a empty classroom? I know a good passageway we could take so no one would see us… and don't worry, I won't tell Dean."

"Harry! How did you know what I was thinking!" Lavender asked.

Harry honestly had to laugh here. "Lav, I've had more secretive frustration screws than perhaps real ones! I knew what you were thinking right away, otherwise you wouldn't have said anything!"

"Well, okay, if you're sure you won't mind. I might not be that great tonight, I'm just so upset and it won't stop. I think if I don't make this throbbing go away I might just have to die, it really hurts, Harry."

"Lav, relax, it's okay. There's this thing you might be experiencing… I don't know if it's real, but I sure as hell went through it."

"What? Tell me!"

"Well, I think that once you get aroused so many times you go through this period where it's really painful for the next like twenty or so times and you can't make it go away, and while you're feeling amazing amounts of pleasure, the other person is just getting warmed up." Harry paused and the upset look on her face. "But it's okay, I understand. I don't mind much."

"Oh, thank you, let's get going, or I think I might come right here right now, just from being this close to you!"

Once they reached the classroom Harry put locking and sound proof charms on-some things he realized had come in very handy. Harry grabbed Lavender and pulled her into a passionate kiss. She moaned deeply, and Harry, sensing she needed more-and soon, slowly moved his hands below her shirt and moved them up to her breasts. He massaged them deeply while Lavender leaned her head back and moaned loudly.

"More, Harry, more."

Harry was beginning to feel aroused himself and quickly took off Lavender's top and bra. He cupped her full breasts and sucked and nipped on them till they were as hard as rock. Lavender leaned in to kiss him again, and Harry took the time to take off his shirt and pants so he was left only in his boxers. He also yanked Lavender's pants and thong down, leaving her completely naked. Harry hoisted her up so her vagina was at the level of his mouth and stuck in three fingers, wiggling them around and getting a louder response with each move. He then licked her and stuck in more fingers-four this time. He could feel her becoming close to the edge and began to penetrate further and harder with each thump of his fingers.

Less than a second later, Lavender came violently. Harry gently kissed her and set her on the nearby chair. He took this time to fix himself by putting his pants and shirt back on. Just when he was focusing on his buttons a naked Lavender stopped him.

"Harry, what are you doing? I wanted to thank you," she said meaningly, glancing at his nether regions.

"Lav, I don't expect you to, I know you're upset…if I don't calm down I could always find someone…"

"No, Harry. You're a great friend, maybe my best friend right now. All the girls think I'm a slut and all the boys are either revolted by me or want to fuck me, not be my friend, so you're the best I've got."

"And for that reason I won't allow you to do this, I told you I knew you…I knew this would happen, but I still agreed. Besides, you can't get aroused again today, anyway, not till your little 'problem' is taken care of."

"It's okay, that won't be necessary."

Harry looked at her warily, she'd never given him head before. She'd always said while she may fuck many people, that was always the same, but giving head, that was so different each time, and she only saved it for someone special. Yeah, he knew she'd done it to a couple of people, but not many. Harry just watched her and played along.

Lavender pulled his shirt off and licked circles around his nipples, getting a very loud reply from Harry. She traced her fingers down his amazing muscles and landed at his waistband. She slowly pulled down his pants and groped him through his boxers, frantically rubbing herself against him.

"MMmm," said Harry.

Lavender then pulled his boxers down with her teeth and grabbed his, now hard, erection. She moved her fingers quickly up and down, then put his entire length in her mouth and gave him a blow job. Soon, Harry came into Lavender's mouth, very grateful for her assistance; he was amazed at how good she was. Harry wasn't usually the one getting pleasured; he more than often did the pleasuring. Unless he was trying to teach someone, that is-but they weren't usually very good.

"Thanks, Lav, you were wonderful… but I thought you said that was just reserved for someone special?" Harry asked curiously.

"You are special, Harry.'

Harry eyed her warily. "Lavender," he said carefully, "I thought this was just a…frustration fuck, I didn't really think it meant anything."

"Not special that way, silly. More as in a best friends way…I know you're best friends with Ron and Hermione, but I somehow doubt you act this way with them," she joked.

Harry laughed, "Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyway, why don't we get dressed? I need to work on my essays tonight, would you like to join me?"

"No, thanks for the offer, but I think I'll stay here and think for awhile."

"Alright, I'm here if you ever need to talk or anything, though. You know that right?"

"Yeah, and Harry, thanks again."

"Any time." Harry headed for the door, but then paused. "I just think I should warn you, though. If you have-what I think you have-you should be careful who you're with. No first times, otherwise you might be putting your reputation on the line, know what I mean?"

"Yeah, thanks. I'm kind of worried about that, though. I don't know when it will stop? What if I can't satisfy?"

"I'm here, Lav. We could get together some other nights until you have this…thing worked out if you want. I have a book or two you can read on them. I'll give 'em to you sometime."

"Thanks," Lavender said gratefully. "Night."


Harry quickly returned to the library and did some work on his essays, hopefully if they were bad enough Hermione would help him once he got back to the common room.

"Harry! Where have you been?" Hermione asked. "I was looking for you, Ron is doing this flier thing, I don't think it's a good idea, Harry!"

Harry opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Ron cut it. "Too late for second thoughts now, mate. Dobby's already got them. Besides, I think it's a brilliant idea!"


"'Mione, relax, I knew about the fliers."

"What! And you let him hand them out?"

"Well, yeah."

"What if a teacher finds one?"

"It just says that Harry's tutoring," Ron replied. "Brilliant, right?"

"Wow…that is actually a good idea, what spell did you use for that?"

"Secret of the trade, I'm sorry," Ron said.

"I wonder how you know a spell I don't," Hermione puzzled.

"I told him," Harry said.

"Oh, well I guess that explains it. What spell did you use?"

"As Ron said, it's a secret of the trade…now about these Potions essays, how would you feel about helping me?"

"Honestly, you know these brilliant spells, they must be awfully complex, but you can't even do your Potions essay?"

"Well, I got a little…sidetracked when I was working on it. I couldn't concentrate."

"You had sex with someone didn't you, Harry? Honestly, it's all a big game to you isn't it?"

"Mione! I didn't have sex with someone! I just couldn't concentrate…people were being loud."

"Harry James Potter don't give me that crap, you could concentrate during a war zone!" Hermione froze, that statement was a bit too close to the truth, and she never knew how it would affect him. Sometimes it sent him into a whirling depression, sometimes bawling his eyes out. Anytime the battle was mentioned Harry got upset, but who could blame him?

"Yes, but not on homework," Harry said impatiently. "Now will you help me?"

Hermione and Ron let our silent sighs of relief. Hermione was so shocked she actually agreed to help Harry with his homework.

"Well Harry, you better get to bed early tonight, you're going to be a busy man tomorrow!" Ron said cheerfully.

As Harry agreed with him and they began heading up to bed they noticed distressed Lavender come in through the portrait, avoiding people's looks of pity and confusiong.

"Lav, hang on a second. I want to give you those books!"

"Here? Now? What if someone sees the titles?" she asked worriedly.

"I've got them charmed, don't worry! Hang on one sec," Harry hurried up the stairs with a very confused Ron following him.

"Charmed? What do you have charmed? What is she talking about?"

"Oh, erm, just some books. It's nothing. Hang on, I'll be right back, I just have to give these to her.'

Harry took them to a much relieved Lavender. "I don't know if you'll find anything much useful, there aren't any cures in here besides the ones I told you about, but you might find it useful to read anyway. Oh, and if you read it in your room, make sure you sound proof your bed, they make some, erm, conspicuous noises."

"Geez, Harry, what kind of books are these?"

"Well, I guess they have a bit of everything in them. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't mention them to anyone, it'd be a bit embarrassing, you'll understand why."

"Okay, well, I think I'll go do some reading now."

"Hey, Lav, wait. How are you doing? You know, with Dean and all?"

"Alright. Okay. Not too bad. Not the greatest, I guess. Actually to tell you the truth I'm fucking miserable and I don't know what I would have done if it weren't for you."

Lavender looked close to tears, and Harry frantically searched his brain for something comforting to say. "Lav, if he's not nice to you, he's not worth your time. You shouldn't dwell on someone who makes you cry, just try to think of some more positive things, I think it'll help."

"Thanks, Harry."

A/N Well? What do you think? Is it way to descriptive? And about the whole orgasm/arousal really hurting thing, I just made it up, idk, is it way too stupid? I really needed there to be something for them to bond over. So please, please, review, and if my chapter is too graphic, just tell me, don't report me!